Shakespeare Jest-Books Part 31

-- A yonge man of Bruges, that was betrouthed to a fayre mayden, came on a tyme, whan her mother was out of the way, and had to do with her. Whan her mother was come in, anone she perceyued by her doughters chere, what she had done; wherfore she was so sore displesed, that she sewed a diuorse, and wolde in no wyse suffre that the yonge man shulde marye her daughter.

Nat longe after, the same yonge man was maryed to an other mayden of the same parysshe: and as he and his wyfe satte talkynge on a tyme of the forsayde dammusell, to whome he was betrouthed, he fell in a nyce[261]

laughyng. Whereat laugh ye? quod his wyfe. It chaunced on a tyme (quod he), that she and I dydde suche a thyng to gether, and she tolde hit to her mother. Therin (quod his wyfe) she playde the foole: a seruante of my fathers playde that game with me an hundred tymes, and yet I neuer tolde my mother. Whan he herde her saye so, he lefte his nyce laughynge.

FOOTNOTES:

[260] Orig. reads _as_.

-- _Of hym that made as he hadde ben a chaste lyuer._ lxxiiii.

-- A felowe, that toke vpon him, as he had ben the moste chaste and beste disposed man lyuinge, was by one of his felowes on a tyme taken in aduoutry,[262] and sharpely rebuked for it, bycause he prated so moche of chast.i.te, and yet was taken in the same faute. To whome he answerde againe: O fool, doste thou thinke that I did it for bodely pleasure? No!

no! I dyd it but onely to subdue my flesshe, and to purge my reynes.

Wherby ye may perceyue, that of all other dissemblynge hipocrytes are the worste.

FOOTNOTES:

[261] Foolish. Used in this sense by Chaucer and Shakespeare. See the last edit, of Nares _in voce_.

[262] I have already explained this word to signify adultery. The latter form appears to have been little used by old writers (though it occurs in the _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo. by Thomas Wilson). Thus in Paynel's translation of Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_,1533, fol. 16, we find--"Richesse engendre and brynge forth inceste and advoutry."

"_Hobs._ Ma.s.s, they say King Henry is a very _advoutry_ man.

"_King._ A devout man? And what King Edward?"--

Heywood's _Edward IV._ Part I. 1600.

-- _Of hym that the olde roode fell on._ lxxv.

-- As a man kneled vpon a tyme prayenge before an olde rode, the rode felle downe on him and brak his hede; wherfore he wolde come no more in the churche halfe a yere after. At lengthe, by the prouocation of his nighbours, he cam to the churche agayne; and bycause he sawe his nighbours knele before the same rode, he kneled downe lyke wyse and sayde thus: well, I may cappe and knele to the; but thou shake neuer haue myn harte agayne, as long as I lyue.

By which tale appereth, that by gentyll and courteyse entreatinge mens myndes ben obteyned.[263] For though the people cappe and knele to one in highe authorite, yet lyttell whoteth he, what they thynke.

FOOTNOTES:

[263] Orig. and Singer read _opteyned_.

-- _Of the wydow that wolde nat wedde for bodily pleasure._ lxxvi.

-- There was a ryche wydowe, whiche desyredde a gossyp of hers, that she wold get her an husband: nat for the nyce playe, quod she, but to th'

entente he may kepe my goodes to gether, whiche is an harde thinge for me to do, beynge a lone woman. Her gossyp, whiche vnderstode her conceyte, promysed her so to do. Aboute iii or iiii dayes after, she came to her agayne, and sayde: gossyp, I haue founde an husbande for you, that is a prudente, a ware, and a worldlye[264] wyse man, but he lacketh his priuey members, wherof ye force nat. Go to the dyuell with that husbande (quod the wydowe): for though that I desyre nat the nyce playe: yet I wylle that myne husbande shall haue that, where with we may be reconciled, if we falle at variance.

-- _Of the couetous amba.s.sodour, that wolde here no musike._ lxxvii.

-- Whan a couetous man on a time was come vnto a certain cite, whither he was sent as amba.s.sadour for his contrey, anon the mynstrels of the cite came to him to fil his eares with swete din, to th' intente he shuld fyl their purses with money. But he, perceyunge that, bad one of his seruauntes go and telle them, that he coulde nat than intende[265] to here their musicke, but he muste demene great sorow, for his mother was deed. So the minstrels, disapointed of theyr purpose, all sadlye went theyr waye. And whan a wors.h.i.+pfull man of the cite, that was his frende, herd tell of his mourning, he came to visete and comforte him; and so in talkynge together he asked, howe longe a go it was that his mother deceased? Truelye (quod he), hit is xl yere ago. Than his frende, vnderstandyinge his subtilte, beganne to laughe hartely.

This tale is aplyed to the couetous men, whiche by al crafte and meanes study to kepe and encreace theyr money and substance; agaynst whiche vyce many thinges ben wryten. As farre (sayth one) is that frome a couetous man that he hath, as that he hath nat.[266] And Diogenes calleth couetousnes the heed of all yuels, and saynt Hieronyme calleth couetousnes the rote of all yuels. And for an example, the tale folowinge shall be of couetousnes.

FOOTNOTES:

[264] Orig. and Singer read _wordlye_.

[265] Give attention.

[266] "The covetous man is servaunt and nat mayster vnto riches: and the waster will nat longe be mayster therof. The one is possessed and doth nat possesse; and the other within a shorte whyle leueth the possession of riches."--Erasmus _De Contemptu Mundi_, 1533, fol. 17 (Paynel's translation). So also, in the _Rule of Reason_, 1551, 8vo, Wilson says:--"Is a covetous man poore or not? I may thus reason with my self.

Why should a couetous man be called poore, what affinitie is betwixt them twoo? Marie, in this poynct thei bothe agree, that like as the poore man ever lacketh and desireth to have, so the covetous manne ever lacketh, wantyng the use of that whiche he hath, and desireth styl to have." "To a covetous ma he (Pythagoras) sayde:--"O fole, thy ryches are lost upon the, and are very pouertie."--Baldwin's _Treatise of Morall Phylosophie_, 1547.

-- _How Denise the tirant serued a couetous man._ lxxix.

-- It was shewed to Denise the tyran, that a couetous man of the cite had hyd a great some of money in the grounde, and lyued moste wretchedly: wherfore he sente for the man, and commaunded him to go dyg vp the money, and so to deliuer it vnto him. The man obeyed, and delyuered vnto the tyran all the golde and treasure that he hadde, saue a small some, that he priuelye kept a syde: where with he wente in to an other cite, and forsoke Syracuse: and there bought a lytell lande, where vpon he lyued. Whan the tyran vnderstode that he hadde so done, he sent for him agayne; and whan he was come, the tyran sayde to him: syth thou haste lerned nowe to vse well thy goodes, and nat to kepe them vnprofytably, I wyll restore them all to the agayne. And so he dyd.

-- _Of the olde man, that quengered[267] the boy oute of the apletree with stones._ lx.x.x.

-- As an olde man walked on a tyme in his orcherd he loked vp, and sawe a boye sytte in a tree, stealynge his apples; whom he entreated with fayre wordes to come downe, and let his apples alone. And whan the olde man sawe, that the boye cared nat for him, by cause of his age, and set noughte by his wordes, he sayde: I haue harde saye, that nat onlye in wordes, but also in herbes, shulde be greatte vertue. Wherfore he plucked vp herbes, and beganne to throwe them at the boye, wherat the boye laughed hartelye, and thought that the olde man hadde ben mad, to thynke to driue him out of the tree with casting of herbes. Than the olde man sayde: well, seynge that nother wordes nor herbes haue no vertue agaynste the stealer of my goodes, I wylle proue what stones wylle do, in whiche, I haue harde men saye, is great vertue; and so he gathered his lappe full of stones, and threwe them at the boye, and compelled hym to come downe, and renne awaye.

This tale sheweth, that they, that bene wyse, proue many wayes, before they arme them.

FOOTNOTES:

[267] Conjured.