Shakespeare Jest-Books Part 5

[59] This moral is also attached to Tales 21, 44, and 56, in all which cases the lady's rejoinder is not less opposed to modern notions of female delicacy.

-- _Of the Welcheman that coude nat gette but a lytell male._ xxix.

-- There was a company of gentylmen[60] in Northamptonshyre which wente to hunte for dere in the porlews[61] in the gollet besyde Stony Stratford, amonge which gentylmen there was one which had a Welchman to his seruante, a good archer; whiche, whan they cam to a place where they thought they _should find dere_, apoynted thys Welchman to stand _still, and forbade him in_ any wyse to shote at no rascal[62] _dere but to make sure of the greate male and_ spare not. Well, quod this Welchman, _I will do so_. _Anon cam by many greate dere and_ Rascall; but euer he lette them go, and toke no hede to them; and within an houre after he saw com rydynge on the hye-waye a man of the contrey, whych had a boget hangynge at hys sadyll bowe.[63] And whan this Welcheman had espyed hym, he bad hym stande, and began to drawe his bow and bad hym delyuer that lytell male that hunge at his sadyll bowe. Thys man, for fere of hys lyfe, was glad to delyuer hym hys boget, and so dyd, and than rode hys waye, and was glad he was so _escapyd_. And when this man of the contrey was gone, thys Welcheman was _very glad_ and wente incontynente to seke hys mayster, and at the laste founde hym wyth hys companye; and whan he saw hym he came to hym, and sayd thus: mayster, by cottes plut and her nayle! I haue stande yonder this two hourys, and I colde se neuer a male but a lytell male that a man had hangynge at his sadell bow, and thet I haue goten, and lo here it is; and toke his master the boget whiche he had taken away from the forsayd man, for the whiche dede bothe the mayster and the seruante were afterwarde in greate trouble.

By this ye may lerne, yt is greate folye for a mayster to putte a seruaunte to that besynes whereof he can nothynge skyll and wherin he hath not ben usyd.

FOOTNOTES:

[60] orig. reads _gentylman_.

[61] purlieus.

[62] a lean beast not worth hunting--_Nares._

[63] The jest here, such as it is, lies in the play on the words male (of the deer) and the mail, or post.

-- _Of the gentyll woman that sayde to a gentyll man: ye haue a berde aboue and none benethe._ x.x.x.

-- A yonge gentylman of the age of xx yere, somwhat dysposed to myrth and gaye, on a tyme talked wyth a gentylwoman whyche was ryght wyse and also mery. Thys gentylwoman, as she talked with hym, happenyd to loke vpon hys berde which was but yonge and somewhat growen vpon the ouer lyppe, and but lyttell growen benethe as all other yonge mennys berdes comynly vse to grow, and sayd to hym thus: syr, ye haue a berde aboue and none beneth; and he, herynge her say so sayde in sporte: maystres, ye haue a berde beneth and none aboue. Mary, quod she, than set the tone agaynst the tother. Which answere made the gentylman so aba.s.shed, that he had not one worde to answere.

-- _Of the frere that sayde our Lorde fed fyue M. people with iii.

fysshys._ x.x.xi.

-- There was a certayn White Frere whiche was a very glotton and a great nyggyn,[64] which had an vngracyouse boy that euer folowed hym and bare his cloke, and what for the freres glotony and for his chorlysshnes the boy, where he wente, cowlde scante gette meate ynoughe: for the frere wolde eate almoste all hym selfe. But on a tyme the frere made a sermone in the contry, wherin he touched very many myracles whyche Cryste dyd afore hys pa.s.syon, amonge which he specyally rehersyd the myracle whyche Cryste did in fedynge fyue thousande people with fyue louys of brede and with iii lytell fysshes; and this frerys boy which caryd not gretely for hys mayster * *, _by reason that_ hys mayster was so great a churle, _cryed out aloude_ that all the church harde, and sayd: by _my faith, then, there were no_ fryers there! whyche answere made all _the people laughe, so_ that for shame the frere wente out of the * * * * * he than departyd out of the churche * * * *

By thys ye may se that it is honeste * * depart with suche as he hath to them * *

FOOTNOTES:

[64] n.i.g.g.ard.

-- _Of the frankelyn that wold haue had the frere gone._ x.x.xii.

-- A ryche fraynklyn dwellyn in the countie of * * * _had a frere in his_ house, of whom he could neuer be ryd any _meanes, but he wold tarrye by the_ s.p.a.ce of a senyght[65] and wold neuer depart; wherfore _the franklyn was sore grevud and sadly_ wery of hym. On a tyme as he and hys wyfe and this frere _were togydder_, he faynyd hymselfe very angry wyth hys wyfe, in somoche that he _smote_ her. Thys frere perseyuyng well what they ment sayd * * * I haue bene here this seuenyght whan ye were frendys, and _I will tarrye a_ fortenyght lenger but I wyll se you frendys agayne, or I depart. _The franklyn_, perceyuynge that he coude no good nor wold not depart by none _other meanes_, answeryd hym shortely and sayd: by G.o.d! frere, but thou shalt abyde here no longer; and toke hym by the shulders, and thrust hym out of the dorys of the house.

By this ye may se, that he that wyl lerne no good by examples in a maner to hym shewyd, is worthy to be taught wyth open rebuke.

FOOTNOTES:

[65] a week.

-- _Of the prest that sayd Our Lady was not so curyous a woman._ x.x.xiii.

-- In the towne of Bottelley dwellyd a mylner, whiche had a good homely wenche to his doughter, whome the curate of the nexte towne louyd, and, as the fame went, had her at hys pleasure. But on a tyme thys curat prechyd of those curyouse wyues now a dayes, and whether it were for the nonys,[66] or whether it cam oute at all aduenturys, he had penyd to say thus in hys sermon: ye wyues, ye be so curyous in all your warkes, that ye wot not what ye meane, but ye shold folow Oure Lady. For Our Lady was nothynge so curyous as ye be; but she was a good homely wenche lyke the mylners doughter of Botteley. At whych sayng all the parishons made gret laughyng, and specyally they that knew that he louyd that same wenche.

By this ye may se, it is gret foly for a man that is suspectyd with any person to praise or to name the same parson openly, lest it bryng hym in forther sclaunder.

FOOTNOTES:

[66] nonce.

-- _Of the good man that sayde to his wyfe he had euyll fare._ x.x.xiv.

-- A frere Lymytour[67] come into a pore mannys howse in the countrey, and because thys pore man thought thys frere myght do hym some good, he therefore thought to make hym good chere. But bycause hys wyfe wold dresse hym no good mete for coste, he therfore at dyner tyme sayd thus: by G.o.d! wyfe, bycause thou dyddest dresse me no good mete to my dyner, were it not for mayster frere, thou shouldest haue halfe a dosyn strypes. Nay, syr, quod the frere, I pray you spare not for me; wherwyth the wyfe was angry, and therfore at souper she caused them to fare wors.

-- _Of the frere that had hys chylde make a laten_ x.x.xv.

_But very few words remain of this Tale._

FOOTNOTES:

[67] Mendicant friar.

-- _Of the gentylman that asked the frere for his beuer._ x.x.xvi.