Three Plays by Granville-Barker Part 87

TREBELL. [_Keeping his patience._] No . . only within the last five minutes have I really taken the smallest interest in you. And now I believe I'm half jealous. Can you understand that? You've been talking a lot of nonsense about your emotions and your immortal soul. Don't you see it's only now that you've become a person of some importance to the world . . and why?

AMY. [_Losing her patience, childishly._] What do you mean by the World?

You don't seem to have any personal feelings at all. It's horrible you should have thought of me like that. There has been no other man than you that I would have let come anywhere near me . . not for more than a year.

_He realises that she will never understand._

TREBELL. My dear girl, I'm sorry to be brutal. Does it matter so much to you that I should have =wished= to be the father of your child?

AMY. [_Ungracious but pacified by his change of tone._] It doesn't matter now.

TREBELL. [_Friendly still._] On principle I don't make promises. But I think I can promise you that if you keep your head and will keep your health, this shall all be made as easy for you as if everyone could know. And let's think what the child may mean to you . . just the fact of his birth. Nothing to me, of course! Perhaps that accounts for the touch of jealousy. I've forfeited my rights because I hadn't honourable intentions. You can't forfeit yours. Even if you never see him and he has to grow up among strangers . . just to have had a child must make a difference to you. Of course, it may be a girl. I wonder.

_As he wanders on so optimistically she stares at him and her face changes. She realises . ._

AMY. Do you expect me to go through with this? Henry! . . I'd sooner kill myself.

_There is silence between them. He looks at her as one looks at some unnatural thing. Then after a moment he speaks, very coldly._

TREBELL. Oh . . indeed. Don't get foolish ideas into your head. You've no choice now . . no reasonable choice.

AMY. [_Driven to bay; her last friend an enemy._] I won't go through with it.

TREBELL. It hasn't been so much the fear of scandal then--

AMY. That wouldn't break my heart. You'd marry me, wouldn't you? We could go away somewhere. I could be very fond of you, Henry.

TREBELL. [_Marvelling at these tangents._] Marry you! I should murder you in a week.

_This sounds only brutal to her; she lets herself be shamed._

AMY. You've no more use for me than the use you've made of me.

TREBELL. [_Logical again._] Won't you realise that there's a third party to our discussion . . that I'm of no importance beside him and you of very little. Think of the child.

AMY _blazes into desperate rebellion_.

AMY. There's no child because I haven't chosen there shall be and there shan't be because I don't choose. You'd have me first your plaything and then Nature's, would you?

TREBELL. [_A little abashed._] Come now, you knew what you were about.

AMY. [_Thinking of those moments._] Did I? I found myself wanting you, belonging to you suddenly. I didn't stop to think and explain. But are we never to be happy and irresponsible . . never for a moment?

TREBELL. Well . . one can't pick and choose consequences.

AMY. Your choices in life have made you what you want to be, haven't they? Leave me mine.

TREBELL. But it's too late to argue like that.

AMY. If it is, I'd better jump into the Thames. I've thought of it.

_He considers how best to make a last effort to bring her to her senses.

He sits by her._

TREBELL. Amy . . if you were my wife--

AMY. [_Unresponsive to him now._] I was Justin's wife, and I went away from him sooner than bear him children. Had I the right to choose or had I not?

TREBELL. [_Taking another path._] Shall I tell you something I believe?

If we were left to choose, we should stand for ever deciding whether to start with the right foot or the left. We blunder into the best things in life. Then comes the test . . have we faith enough to go on . . to go through with the unknown thing?

AMY. [_So bored by these metaphysics._] Faith in what?

TREBELL. Our vitality. I don't give a fig for beauty, happiness, or brains. All I ask of myself is . . can I pay Fate on demand?

AMY. Yes . . in imagination. But I've got physical facts to face.

_But he has her attention now and pursues the advantage._

TREBELL. Very well then . . let the meaning of them go. Look forward simply to a troublesome illness. In a little while you can go abroad quietly and wait patiently. We're not fools and we needn't find fools to trust in. Then come back to England . . .

AMY. And forget. That seems simple enough, doesn't it?

TREBELL. If you don't want the child let it be mine . . not yours.

AMY. [_Wondering suddenly at this bond between them._] Yours! What would you do with it?

TREBELL. [_Matter-of-fact._] Provide for it, of course.

AMY. Never see it, perhaps.

TREBELL. Perhaps not. If there were anything to be gained . . for the child. I'll see that he has his chance as a human being.

AMY. How hopeful! [_Now her voice drops. She is looking back, perhaps at a past self._] If you loved me . . perhaps I might learn to love the thought of your child.

TREBELL. [_As if half his life depended on her answer._] Is that true?

AMY. [_Irritably._] Why are you picking me to pieces? I think that is true. If you had been loving me for a long, long time-- [_The agony rushes back on her._] But now I'm only afraid. You might have some pity for me . . I'm so afraid.

TREBELL. [_Touched._] Indeed . . indeed, I'll take what share of this I can.

_She shrinks from him unforgivingly._

AMY. No, let me alone. I'm nothing to you. I'm a sick beast in danger of my life, that's all . . cancerous!

_He is roused for the first time, roused to horror and protest._

TREBELL. Oh, you unhappy woman! . . . if life is like death to you . . .