Mushi to Medama - BestLightNovel.com
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Saibara Mitsuki's death occurred at thirty-two minutes past midnight.
Saibara Mitsuki's memories of the days when she was still human were very vague.
A long, long time ago, a huge Fragment of G.o.d, one of the many broken and scattered Fragments, entered Mitsuki's body. Due to the properties of the Fragment named Unpleasant Counter-Current, Mitsuki's personality could not accept its existence and completely shattered. Angel or fallen angel, the personification of retribution or destruction; neither of which were the true Mitsuki, but they were both indeed somewhat related to Mitsuki.
Mitsuki seemed to be a girl whom others disliked.
Her elder sis hid the diary Mitsuki wrote in back in those days. Now that Mitsuki was reading it, she felt as if she was reading something written by someone else. She was really a very, very normal girl. However, no one reached out to help her because of that. Therefore, she armed herself with malignance and pride. She was a very fragile girl.
Her only companion was her sister. As a human, Mitsuki only managed to live because of her sister.
It was understandable that she felt empty and lonely, as she pitied herself as if she was taking pity on someone else.
Therefore, she wanted to be good friends with someone. Even if she failed this time, even if she felt scared when coming into contact with other people, she still wanted to be friends with someone, to be a good friend -
She wanted to save Saibara Mitsuki's soul. Even if she was a despicable girl who no one wanted to even look at, it wouldn't be a bad thing to save her.
Her 'duty' was to be an angel. As she was an angel, maybe then she should save her.
"... Did I..."
Sinking into numbness, Mitsuki moaned as if she was talking in her sleep.
"Become... an angel, big sis...?"
The girl looked strange wearing her hat with round ears, a cute curly tail decoration, and thick gloves. Still, no matter how one looked at her, she was a very shy, indecisive, and happy little girl.
She looked magnificent, as innocent as an angel – except that Mitsuki was covered with blood.
A tragic scene stretched out all around her. For some reason, the large majority of the Kannonsakazaki High School had been tragically destroyed - broken chunks of tile and debris were scattered all around Mitsuki.
In this dark, late night, the moon shone upon the ma.s.sive remains of the concrete ruin, casting huge shadows onto the ground. Mitsuki struggled with difficulty on the icy cold ground, with part of her body crushed by the debris.
"Urk..."
Mitsuki stared at the slab of stone pressing down on her, her eyes wide. Huffing and puffing, she tried her hardest to push it away, but it was too heavy. She couldn't feel the right side of her stomach anymore. It was probably completely crushed. It was the same for her right foot.
It would be a long time before she would be able to move.
Oh no, how terrible. Although she was an immortal and couldn't feel pain, it would still be terrible to be immobile for a long time. Her clothes were also all messed up. So unlucky. However, thoughts of rage and frustration did not stay for a long time in Mitsuki's mind, disappearing like a puff of fog before the sun.
"Aaaaaaaauuum."
Putting her entire strength behind the hand that was grasping the slab of stone, the girl suddenly erupted with power.
"Chirp - ★"
With a deafening noise, the slab flew far away from her – unbelievably far. Mitsuki put on a very satisfied expression and made a victory pose, smiling with satisfaction that she had everything sorted.
"You're going to panic when you hear me, and smile when you see me~ There's so much strength in my little body ★ I am the undefeatable Unpleasant Counter-Current~★"
With a whoosh, Mitsuki propped up her blood-covered body, then sighed and lowered her head.
"... Umm, it's so boring to talk loudly by myself. Um, what is going on?"
Mitsuki took off her beloved hat and patted away the dust on it, then plunked it back onto her head as she surveyed her surroundings. It was a scene of utter devastation, appropriate for a battlefield. Had the fight already finished? It was quiet, too quiet, so ominously quiet that it actually made her feel uneasy. Feeling that her body was s.h.i.+vering, Mitsuki hugged herself and stood up slowly -
"- Whaa?"
Suddenly, she lost her balance and fell down.
It was impossible to stand up with a quarter of her body smashed, after all.
Considering her current situation, Mitsuki began remember that she had been fighting that blonde beauty, and that she had been defeated before she could even do anything to defend herself. She couldn't really remember the end of that fight...it seemed she had fallen from the school building, landing in the debris with her body crushed in the aftermath.
Either way, she couldn’t move anymore.
"... I used to be able to move immediately afterwards whenever I fell down!"
Mitsuki frowned and looked unhappy, as her tail fell upon the ground. She had discovered her ability when she first come to Kannonsakazaki High School so long ago, as she’d fallen from the roof while trying to climb to the top.
"... What is this? It feels like my Fragment is shrinking."
Mitsuki opened her hand, then clenched her hand into a fist again. She tilted her head and tried this a few times. She then opened her eyes, pouted, and put her pale face in her hands as she looked around.
"Right, where is big sis? Did big sis get knocked down from there too~?"
Mitsuki felt very uneasy without big sis next to her, like a lost child. There was doubt in all of her movements, and her cheeks paled too. She stretched out her hand purposelessly in her confusion, not knowing what to do. She moved away pieces of the debris, even though Saibara Mina, the elder sister whom Saibara Mitsuki admired and adored, wasn't a bug, and obviously wouldn't be able to hide under the rubble.
"Big sis!"
This was so odd. Her sister Mina would never leave her behind and disappear on her own. Her strong sister always stood by her and protected her. If she ever heard Mitsuki calling out 'big sis' like this, she would definitely put on a very annoyed expression, but at the same time, would stretch out her hand to help her little sister.
Then, Mitsuki remembered... The last time that she called out Mina's name but she didn't appear was when Mina lost her battle with Eguriko, and suffered a severe wound. Mina was probably like this too right now. Big sis was probably lying somewhere, barely alive -
A sorrowful feeling welled up within Mitsuki's mind. Tears welled out of her eyes and she sobbed, with even her breathing becoming difficult. Mitsuki started to behave strangely. She started to look everywhere around her, and she twisted her hands together.
"Big sis... big sis."
There was a b.u.mping sound behind her.
Mitsuki's expression suddenly changed, and she turned around defenselessly.
At that moment, Mitsuki's chest suffered a heavy impact.
"!?"
It was as if a car had purposely crashed into her. Mitsuki’s frail body was tossed away, rolling, rolling, rolling on the ground, until it came to a halt. Now, she was completely unable to move, save for coughing up blood.
"...Whoa!"
There was no feeling of pain.
Her nociceptive nerves had already been broken. However, Mitsuki had was already gravely wounded from when she had fallen from the school building. Her bones and internal organs, in their current state, could not endure such a strong impact. Not without quietly resting for a while.
But now there was no time. No time to rest. No time for Mitsuki to calmly think and make decisions.
She coughed continuously, swallowing saliva mixed with blood. She moaned as she wiped away the traces of blood at the corners of her mouth.
Mitsuki propped up her upper body using all of her strength, and she saw that approaching alien at the same time.
"Monster...!?"
As Mitsuki stated, it was indeed a monster. A monster that existed in the gap between h.e.l.l and the mortal world, something that existed in that unperceivable world, one of the natural enemies of humanity, which Mitsuki and Mina had slaughtered numerous times before. As if it was chasing down Mitsuki, one of those monsters rushed towards her b.e.s.t.i.a.lly.
It was like a beetle, with a s.h.i.+ning black carapace and disgusting, segmented feelers, its heavy body supported by sharp feet. And worst of all, sprouting from each of its feelers were innumerable eyeb.a.l.l.s, with their gaze focused on the immobile pray before it - Mitsuki.
Mitsuki sat on the ground and looked dazedly at the scene before her. The vibration that rumbled through the ground made her frown, and she suddenly realized this was not the time to s.p.a.ce out. Hurriedly, she started to struggle, but her body was unable to move.
A strange impulse rushed into her mind, and she instinctively thought of the tragedy that was soon to follow.
She would be flattened by the monster.
She would be flattened into a pulp with a squelch, and she would then be eaten.
"... How can this be happening?!"
A very sad feeling welled up within her. Mitsuki's two hands, wearing the huge gloves, suddenly pushed forward suddenly.
"How can this happen? I'm looking for big sis. Don't bother me!"
With a thump, Mitsuki's entire body suffered a powerful impact, but she remained immobile. Facing the enormous monster that rushed towards her, Mitsuki's gloves that could reflect all intended damage stiffened to stop the enemy's huge impact. Mitsuki used all her strength and roared. Both her hands held onto the creature’s feelers, squas.h.i.+ng the countless eyeb.a.l.l.s on it.
It was very hard to fight these monsters, as they didn’t bear much malevolence. They only attacked Mitsuki out of their predatory instincts towards humans.
As the personification of retribution, Unpleasant Counter-Current's abilities didn't seem to be very effective.
"Urk... Gah... Gaaaaah."
As she expected, Mitsuki's gloves were pierced by the sharp thorns on the monster's feelers. Her soft fingers and palm were both wounded, and blood seeped out. Cold sweat dripped down her face. Even though she didn't feel pain, it was still very problematic to get wounded.
Crack crack crack. She could hear some very sharp sounds. Was this a tragic sound coming out of Mitsuki's body, or the wailing of her enemy? Both the outer appearance and their sounds, not to mention their existence, all disgusted her.
Mitsuki's cheeks started to become red, and started to yell excitedly like a kid:
"I, I'm looking for big sis~ I need to look for her very hard ★ If there are bad kids who dare to stop me -"
Her enemy's enormous body rose into the sky in the blink of an eye. Using just her hands, Mitsuki lifted up the screaming, dazed monster.
The enormous beetle that was lifted up in the air at an angle struggled and tried to resist. However, it was all useless. If Mitsuki wanted to be serious, her arms can even uproot entire trees from the ground.
"I will kick them and kick them down into h.e.l.l~★"
Her unwounded left foot launched itself upwards. Avoiding the feelers and the back, protected by the carapace, she viciously kicked the creature’s soft, exposed underbelly.
The monster roared, with the sound of metal being torn and broken. Yellowish brown liquid erupted from its body and the rest of its torso broke apart. The pieces shattered, flying with a thud into the broken school building – and with its body was completely torn apart, and it soon died.
The monster's feet and feelers fell all around her, with the ground splattered with its innards. Looking at this scene, Mitsuki put down her still-uplifted feet and panted.
"Phew... It moved on."
Mitsuki put her hands together and muttered a Buddhist prayer. She laughed at her own comedic moments in the middle of the battle.
"Mmm, Mitsuki-chan is so awesome. I'm definitely the undefeatable Unpleasant Counter-Current~"
Mitsuki nodded and started to think. Why were there monsters appearing here? Although they had acted oddly of late, it was usually very rare to run into a monster like this.
"... Mmm, well, my job isn't to think anyways."
She put her hand on the debris next to her. Using that to support her weight, she finally managed to stand with a single foot. The bones and flesh of her right foot were mashed together and was completely smashed – she wouldn’t be able to use it for a while. And though one of Unpleasant Counter-Current's abilities was to absorb the evil intent of others, and use that to accelerate her physical healing, there was no one around her with any malevolence whatsoever.
What should she do? She could not even walk in her current state, and could only keep looking around like a lost child.
The darkness felt heavy. She was feeling more and more anxious in the dark, and she wanted to cry. She could only hear her own heartbeat, thundering in the clammy silence. It was as if the world had already been completely destroyed, and the night was everlasting, with the dawn never to show its face again – there was a primordial sense of horror and solitude.
Plonk.
The sound came from a place that was astonis.h.i.+ngly close to her. A thick malice started to float over towards her, so thick it could almost be discerned with the naked eye.
Mitsuki looked that way out of reflex.
“… Big sis?”
Mina stood there. She stood underneath the foggy light of the cloud-covered moon, with her long white braid gleaming, and a soft smile surfacing across her peaceful face. She was the big sister whom Mitsuki adored. She was her family, someone who had always supported Mitsuki’s mind from when they were still human, and even more so now that they were no longer mortal.
Mitsuki finally felt rea.s.sured when she saw Mina. But what was that… What was that malicious feeling just now? Mitsuki was somewhat concerned about that. She quickly thought it over, as if she was considering what she should do next.
The beating of her heart indeed slowed. It felt unbelievable even to herself.
Mitsuki thought the previous feeling was probably an illusion caused by her anxious mindset. She deliberately made a comical pose and put her hands on her waist, and propped up her chest as she said:
“Awesome. I was worried. Seriously, I told you not to leave me behind and run away on your own ★.”
“…”
Mitsuki looked at Mina, who was staying silent for some reason, and asked with a giggle:
“What’s wrong? It looks like the fight is over. But we still need to find Gu-Gu and Niku-Niku~. And there are also things like that monster just now. They might have started to multiply. We need to check them out in the town. Otherwise –”
Mina stretched out her arm, her hand pierced through Mitsuki’s thin chest.
“… Huh?”
She couldn’t comprehend this. She couldn’t understand this. She didn’t respond to it at all. Her mind was a blank.
Blood erupted out from her form. It was red, crimson liquid, the fountain of life. It sprayed onto her clothes and face. It was her own blood. It was that red, slightly warm, rather metallic liquid. Her vision started to be covered by this crimson shade. Behind all that red, Mitsuki saw that Mina was still smiling softly.
No. Something must be wrong.
That was a despicable smile.
“Who… are you?”
Mitsuki tightly gripped the hand that had pierced her heart. Even so, she knew the struggle was pointless from the bottom of her heart. Blood seeped out from the corners of her mouth, and her head drooped.
Huh?
Huh...?
"Unpleasant Counter-Current."
A cold voice that made her s.h.i.+ver, one she had never heard before, floated into her ears.
"You are a bit too inexperienced for wanting to live till the final battle!"
The hand was suddenly pulled from her chest, with blood erupted from the wound it left behind with frightening force. Mitsuki couldn't bear it anymore. She fell to her knees, her eyes widening in too-late surprise.
Huh...?
"I will kill you here. At least thank me for it."
The other woman sn.i.g.g.e.red coldly as she turned around, the figure of Saibara Mina blurring and s.h.i.+fting, until it became someone completely different.
This was alteration of the flesh, the power of Ultimate s.h.i.+eldThe Weakest.
"...Why?"
Mitsuki could not understand this. Could it be that this person changed into the form of the big sister whom Mitsuki liked the most? That she punched through Mitsuki's chest without hesitation, at the time when Mitsuki finally calmed down? How could she do something this cruel? It was incomprehensible. Mitsuki shouldn't be able to feel pain anymore, but her head hurt so much.
Her entire body was shaking as her sight started to dim.
Drop by drop, her life was draining away with the blood oozing from her body. Mitsuki felt the violent thoughts filling her opponent's soul to the brim, and she moaned:
"Why... did you have to do something so cruel?"
The faces of those people most important to her surfaced within her mind. Mina, Tatsue, Mitaka, Guriko, Kajiri, the people she’d met at school and in the town. They all surged up within her mind. It wasn't enough. She hadn't managed to get on well with anyone. She still wanted to talk to other people. She still wanted to keep living with them.
"Why?"
The culprit turned around, and then changed into Mitsuki's appearance. She had a hat with round ears and a cute, curly tail decorating her behind. Could it be - Mitsuki started to realize the other’s plan – could it be that she wanted to appear as Mitsuki to her companions, and then...
Why was she capable of such cruel deeds?
"Oho. You keep saying these naive things... You really are an angel."
She laughed coldly and amusedly and departed in Mitsuki's form. Mitsuki slumped on the ground. She still looked at that retreating figure, incredulously, and mumbled in a low voice:
"Devil..."
The giant Fragment named Unpleasant Counter-Current was residing with Mitsuki. She bathed in the malice of the entire world every day, and yet Mitsuki still loved this world and the people who populated it. Humans had carried the burden of original sin since the days of Adam and Eve. Perhaps they started to hurt each other back then, and just kept bringing pain to each other ever since.
Still, no matter at what point in their history, humans would not give up on loving others. If it weren't for this, humanity would have been destroyed a long time ago. No matter what kind of a person one was, there would be no malice in their heart of hearts. That was what Mitsuki had believed in all along.
She had believed this... But now, Mitsuki had been killed by a fellow creature, as if she was an unneeded thing, a torn book to be thrown away. It was - too strange. It was as if the other woman was a monster. As if her entire body and soul were completely manipulated by malice -
Ahh.
She couldn't move anymore. The sounds of her own moans softly swept past her ears, and her consciousness started to fade.
Would this be the end? Would she die here? But it was fine. To be honest, Mitsuki had already died once in that annoying Inst.i.tute. She only miraculously returned to life because of Single Room's ability. Because of him, she could eat chocolate sundaes again, could go everywhere.
There were no regrets - she had tried her hardest at living.
She was just... a little lonely.
Death was very very lonely. There was so much regret, so much anxiety, so much pain.
This... must be the proof of having lived a happy life. She was the girl Mitsuki, whom no one loved and was despised by all. Even so, she lived her life to the full, and was about to die with all sorts of happy memories. This should be happiness. But... she still felt a little... lonely.
If possible, if it's only for a little bit, I want to play with them for a while. I want to take care of Mina, who never knew how to do housework. I also want to wait and see Mitaka and Tatsue's wedding. And I, I also... want to fall in love with someone, or something like that.
Tears slid down her eyes. Ahh, so lonely.
Saibara Mitsuki's death
"... Why would I be crying?"
The blood that seeped out of her heart mixed with the tears that dripped from her eyes. She could immerse herself silently in this - this would be the place where Mitsuki's life ended. For this world, this would be the second sacrifice produced after the Fragment of PoisonCatastrophe, that of Breaksun's heart, was gorged out. Meanwhile, for some select people - this would be eternal separation with this lovely girl.
"It should be - very happy, shouldn’t it?"
And with that, Saibara Mitsuki pa.s.sed away.
Blinding light shone from the cla.s.sroom. Rinne, who was standing there smiling, gradually disappeared. That pure white light was threatening to completely engulf and soak through the world, but Gankyū Eguriko frowned. She had thought her eyes were seeing a mirage during the numerous flashes of light.
However, in her daze, she thought she saw the light swallow Rinne's form, with her friend vanis.h.i.+ng from sight.
Clouds covered the sky, hiding the moon and stars. Even so, the broken school building and the ruins that remained were still clearly visible.
“…”
The ground beneath Guriko’s feet was covered with blood. The broken pieces of Melodia NoiseTear Song’s body and the remains of her organs, these remaining morsels after Guriko’s meal, were scattered all around her. However, miraculously, Joker was still alive. Melodia NoiseTear Song’s body could no longer move, and she could only make intermittent moans as she s.h.i.+vered.
But of course, that was to be expected. The majority of her body had already been chewed off by Guriko.
Guriko was impa.s.sive as she looked at Melodia NoiseTear Song – only the woman’s skeleton, head, and feet remained. The flesh and bones scattered around her were freshly torn off a human body. Even though Guriko had been the one who had done this, she did not dare to face what she had done. The large amount of blood that soaked through the ground emitted a thick and foul smell, and it was nauseating.
With a sigh, Guriko reverted to her human shape, the red wings and carapace of her monstrous form fading as she returned to herself. The blood that coated her body did not, leaving her covered by a red sheen. Fresh blood dripped down the corners of her mouth and her white skin, originally so pristine, was stained.
Guriko shook her head as if she was a wet dog, shaking off much of the dampness on her. The blood instantly dried and turned to a darker shade, and clung to her skin.
She spat out Melodia NoiseTear Song’s hair, which was stuck between her teeth, with a spitting sound. It was disgusting.
“… still alive, Melodia NoiseTear Song?”
The older woman’s body shook when she heard this. Was it fortunate or not to still retain consciousness in this state?
Guriko’s mind was empty, and she looked blankly at the school building that glowed in the distance. Her brain seemed unable to think normally after she finished the ferocious fight just now. She felt as if she was drunk. She was emotionally very aroused, but a nauseating feeling was rising up from her chest, and she felt an ominous chill.
“Do you know why the school is glowing?”
Rinne was over there. Guriko tried her hardest to look that way. Even though it was too dark to be certain, she knew she hadn’t made a mistake. It was indeed Rinne. She wanted to gallop to her side right now and embrace her tightly. However, the unnatural state of the school building was very suspicious. She should not rush there blindly, even though she still had a sliver of hope in her heart towards the possibility that Rinne was still safe and sound.
“…”
Melodia NoiseTear Song didn’t answer her.
She couldn’t, after all, as she had no strength left. And even if she did, her larynx – all the tendons and muscles of her throat – had already been consumed by Guriko.
Yes, she had been eaten by Guriko. Guriko had eaten this monstrous woman – no, Guriko herself was the monster. Although she had always lived with this illusion, she could no longer turn back now. No one would consider Guriko a human ever again.
She was a monster that ate humans.
Yes, a monster. She was a beast with no right to love others – but her desire to help Rinne was genuine. Rinne might be able to embrace her, even if she became a monster.
Although she knew this sweet emotion would make her feel confused, Guriko was too fragile to even stand right now without leaning on this idea.
Rinne. Rinne. I want to see you.
I want to hear your soft voice, your kind smile, and feel your warm hands. Guriko wanted to feel all this.
I am so lonely. I don’t know why, I just feel alone.
“Rinne…”
Guriko moved her eyes away from Melodia NoiseTear Song, who remained silent, and slowly walked towards the school. She couldn’t leave Rinne like this, in a place that was glowing strangely for some reason.
Everything was dark around them, with the only light coming from the school building. The Mus.h.i.+, with their red eyes, were looking at them from their surroundings in an annoying way. It was as if this world was a drawing that had been deliberately portrayed in a twisted way. It was an uneasy world, one that filled men’s hearts with a chill.
“…”
Suddenly, Guriko stopped walking towards the school, and looked towards Melodia NoiseTear Song. She didn’t understand those feelings herself. It was perhaps not pity – but she still asked with a feeling didn’t quite understand:
“Then sh.e.l.l I send you on your way?”
“…”
Blood. Flesh. Organs. Even her life force was all but drained. She was in a state where even madness would not be unexpected. However, she only tilted her head, and shook slightly as if she was a wriggling infant – as if she was completely crushed by something and had no ways of fighting back. Guriko nodded as if she understood her and said.
“Yes. I don’t want to die either.”
Only endless sorrow surfaced in those insect-like, red eyes.
“… Why, Melodia NoiseTear Song?”
Guriko walked forward to look for Mitsuki and Mina. She called out Melodia NoiseTear Song’s name as she went further and further, with Melodia NoiseTear Song’s body gradually disappearing from Guriko’s view.
It was so scary. So scary so scary. So scary scary scary. Death is so scary. It is more scary than anything else. I would completely disappear. I would cease to exist on earth.
It was way too scary. Everything she saw now, everything she was feeling, everything she was thinking – everything would disappear completely.
Just thinking of this would drive her mad with fear.
Melodia NoiseTear Song – Sakaki Joker was simply scared of the end of her life. Indeed, the time for her to disappear approached little by little. Why was she so scared? Guriko also asked her this. However, even Joker didn’t understand.
It was such a joyless life. A life spent escaping from this fear. This aimless, empty, mundane and ordinary life.
“…”
All sorts of scenes began to surface in her mind.
Like a movie reaching its conclusion, her life was about to reach its end. That was what Joker thought.
She could see it now. That dirty alley in the ghetto. Her mother’s grotesque sleeping form. That empty church where no G.o.d resided. The old woman in the neighborhood who kept talking about her worries. The Bible. Joker standing over the empty ruins of the church – and Sakaki Ganhō, who had been standing by her side before she realized it. That very annoying man who visited Joker’s church in order to ask those incredulous questions.
Just why was that? She could not understand it at all now. Why had she done that back then? Did she give up on herself? Joker had grasped that man’s hand tightly. She detested her heartless mother, who immersed herself in her lascivious games with men every day. Therefore, she kept her distance from all men.
It was her first time touching the hand of a member of the stronger s.e.x.
Ganhō. That man with hands warm as flames.
For Joker, who had always lived in calmness, he was a man whom she completely could not understand. For her, his pa.s.sion was a mystery. She didn’t have any emotions such as love – she couldn’t.
She didn’t understand anything about emotions such as love.
She hated Ganhō very much. They didn’t share anything in common. The way they thought was completely different. They had stated fighting from the moment they met. He was arrogant, and he didn’t have clear thoughts, but he had some strange levels of acuity in some weird areas. He enjoyed opening other people’s old wounds.
She had decided numerous times to never see him again and say farewell. At that time, she honestly thought it would be fine if she never saw him again.
However, unbelievably, he was beside her when she came to her senses. Joker ran far away from him – and, in his arrogance, he used his incredible fortune and power and sent out his underlings to find her. They brought her back, and he hugged her tightly in his arms – he was a sly and completely unpredictable man. Why was he so obsessed with someone as minute as her? Joker never figured this out. He never said anything like ‘I love you’ to Joker. No matter how many times they whispered tender words to each other, how many time they kissed, or how many times their body tangled together, Joker had never thought he would love her.
He was simply someone similar to her, someone who needed other people – perhaps that was why.
He had so much more luck than everyone else in the world. However, he still had the same fears as she did. He was in fact someone who felt loneliness more easily than anyone else. He only said those foolish words to attract others’ attention. He was a naïve child like that. He feared that this world might not have a G.o.d in his naiveté, and he craved warmth from others all the time. He was the same as Joker.
Did he not know how to love others? Did he feel lonely, but had no idea how to remove that loneliness?
They were the same. She was the same. Ganhō was the same as her – But even if she realized this right now, it was too late.
Did Ganhō ever regret meeting her? Regret meeting this woman, who was possessed by the huge Fragment, despite not knowing anything about the power now within her? That man accelerated his own death because he became involved with a woman like that. If he hadn’t chased after immortality, he might have lived a happier life.
She recalled the scene when they met for the first time in the church.
She had continued to pray every day even when she came to the realization that G.o.d did not exist. That foolish man said to her: ‘I will become G.o.d’. Such foolhardy words. And though that man never became G.o.d, for a very brief moment - even Joker’s heart had been greatly moved.
It was as if they were children snuggling up to each other for warmth when they were lonely. That kind of warmth was particularly hot. She remembered his body heat then. She had closed his eyes, and they shared the shaking of their bodies together.
For some reason, Ganhō never touched any woman except Joker. Had he wanted, he could have had any beautiful woman he desired, but he probably hated that. Other people are scary. I know. I know, Ganhō.
Why did she only remember these important things when she was about to die? How did she only realize how irreplaceable those emotions are, when her life was about to be over? Why had those happy moments all disappeared, as soon as she discovered them?
Ganhō.
He should be a man she detested very much. But – Guryū, Tatsue – when she gave birth to them, she was laughing. She laughed with him, as if she was like any other ordinary human.
Was that happiness?
Was that – the warmth that Joker sought?
Why? Why? Why? Why did she only realize this when she had reached such a point of no return?
Ganhō. Guryū. Tatsue.
Why could she never find a future, where all of them could live together in peace and silence?
She was so sad, and so scared… and so lonely. So sad. So sad.
“…”
She suddenly felt that –
– Someone was standing next to her.
It was a small figure. She realized who it was after seeing that unique shadow. It was Gankyū Eguriko’s companion – it was Saibara Mitsuki, Unpleasant Counter-Current. The school, s.h.i.+ning with light, was behind her. Mitsuki herself was looking down with an expressionless face.
Why was she still alive? Did she come here to give her the final blow?
As if she was about to spit blood, the remains of her larynx in her throat moved. The sharp sounds it created were entirely incomprehensible, but it didn’t matter anymore.
“…What are you gonna do?”
After Joker spat out the question with difficulty, Mitsuki giggled. She then licked her lips and softly touched her face with her hand. It was a familiar female face, a beautiful face mixed with scorn.
A disguise? No – to be precise, her body changed.
This Mitsuki was fake. Someone changed into her form.
And the person with such distaste as to change into her –
“CatastropheThe Weakest.”
“Yo, Joker.”
The true face of that cheater, CatastropheThe Weakest, revealed itself coldly. It was the face of a woman no one had ever seen. She looked like she was very bored, and both her hands were behind her head.
“I should have been the happiest person on earth.”
She had heard this voice before. It was a voice that she remembered. Joker opened her eyes. Could it... could it be? CatastropheThe Weakest, who sometimes worked with her and sometimes opposed her - could she be…
"... Moon?"
Those long-past memories flashed before Joker's eyes. She remembered that alley in the ghetto, full of death and betrayal, and that girl who was friends with her, the one whose eyes had burned with ambition. Moon. That girl who had declared she would become the happiest person on Earth.
As if Moon had not heard Joker, she gently extended her arms.
"Come. The extraordinary genius of the century, the magician Mon Lambo, is here!"
She said this coldly and lowered her head. Then, as if she was very angry, she started to pace in circles, with creases appearing on the bridge of her nose due to her anger.
"You don't know who Mon Lambo is? ... You really don't know. Hmph, am I just one of those ma.s.s-consumed entertainment products after all? Ahh, this is so upsetting. I'm going mad. Praise me more. Look at me. Only love me. Only wors.h.i.+p me. Everyone everyone everyone..."
Suddenly, scorched deep scars, gradually rotting and becoming full of pus, appeared on her beautiful face and formed giant blisters. Those rotting and p.u.s.s.y blisters were terrifying to just look at. It was a chilling scene.
"Hey, Joker. Am I pretty?"
Looking at her gradually crumbling, dissolving face, with her cheek bones almost showing beneath the flesh, Joker did not say anything. Moon, the girl she knew, had a beautiful face. And precisely because of that, this alien and demonic face was even more terrifying.
"Hey, hey, you don't have to talk. I understand... I understand! I can't possibly be as beautiful as before, right? But why must get I kicked out when I am no longer beautiful? These stupid idiots - they never discovered where true worth lies, and only chased after new things in their greed and impatience... Stupid people, stupid world, stupid G.o.d, stupid fate. But rest a.s.sured, Joker, I will destroy them all, and I will show you how I will change everything!"
She cackled with a fearsome aura, as if she was a demon. Moon was completely immersed in this. She stretched out her arms and screamed:
"I will become the G.o.d of this world no matter what! I will be different from this current talentless G.o.d. I will become the G.o.d of the most high. I will make this world absolutely marvelous! It will be beautiful! Just! Peaceful! It will definitely be the best world. I will make it so. I will show you... I, I am the one!"
"Moon..."
Joker couldn't understand her words at all. Even so, Joker still felt a sliver of sorrow. Something must have happened to Moon when Joker and her were still children, when they were still good friends. She didn't know what happened, but it was certainly very serious.
Moon was the same as Ganhō. She was perhaps similar to Joker as well. She wanted to become great. She wanted to become powerful. She wanted to be above others - she sought those worthless things so much and allowed other, more important things to brush past her despite how much nearer at hand they were.
It was such a sad thing.
Joker lost all her facades, all her pretences. She was that girl in the alleyway of the ghetto again, looking up at her old friend. They sat next to each other on the roadside when they were young. They both had their arms crossed over their hungry tummies, and talked about their dreams for the future as they gazed at the sky. They talked about the friends and family they would have in the future.
"If you become... the happiest person in the world, then what would you want to do?"
If she understood all the truths of the world, and also obtained all the riches and treasures on earth, and became greater than anyone else alive - what would she do then? She would only be able to remain at that position till the end. It must be so. Even though she became the happiest person in the world, she might still not be satisfied.
Compared to that -
Wouldn't an embrace from someone she loved be a happier occurrence? Even if it was just for a brief moment? To become happier, to become happier - such desires have no end. And once she reached the zenith, the only thing left would be to fall. Like Sisyphus, she would sink into a never ending torment.
That was probably how it went. It was already too late when she realized this. However, it was far more painful for Joker to talk to her son as a mother and then leave him, than to waste her time to chase after eternal life.
Yes, Moon was different from her, who was about to die. There were still many more things left for Moon to do. However, if she only strove toward her distant goal by herself and had no one beside her, she would still be far from happiness.
"Joker!"
Moon shook her head as if she was feeling sentimental about something. Her head lolled to one side, as if she was lost in thought.
"You've never been very motivated. Could it be that you are also one of those despicable idiots, who would cl.u.s.ter together to seek some boring entertainment?"
Even if she was despicable.
Even if others mocked her. Even if her happiness was something others looked down upon, even if it was cheap and ordinary.
Joker still wanted that happiness.
"Moon..."
Tears s.h.i.+mmered in Crybaby Joker's one remaining good eye. She had always concealed her true emotions out of embarra.s.sment or fear.
However -
"Are you very lonely? Do you just want others to acknowledge you?"
Those brief words were enough to trigger an enormous explosion.
"Don't you dare to pretend that you understand everything!"
Moon reached out her fingers in rage and stabbed at Joker. Even though Joker's body was already torn and broken by Guriko, Moon still stabbed through her without mercy. She pierced what little remained of Joker's body with innumerable stabs, blows falling as thick as heavy rain. She dealt the final heavy blow towards Joker, who was barely alive, and pushed her towards the final annihilation.
"... I am a woman who will become G.o.d!"
Joker's childhood friend, Moon, said this as if she had something she relied upon.
"Farewell, Joker. I will fulfill your wish. If you die - then you will certainly live in eternal silence."
Joker's life was already over before Moon finished her sentence.
"..."
Facing Joker's unmoving corpse, Moon showed an expression of disgust, and stood there for a long time.
Breaksun Hanselmine startled awake from her scary dream, and discovered that the world around her was covered by pristine white snow.
"Woah, is this a combination of Eastern and Western styles?!"
"What the heck are you talking about, Breako?!"
She calmed down after her initial shock. She lifted her head up at that familiar, unguarded voice. The red-haired boy with puppy-like clear eyes - Nikuyama Kajiri - was standing before her. He found her.
They were very close to each other.
They were sitting very close together... or should she say they were in each other's arms?
Breaksun was a bit confused. Her head was full of questions. She lowered her head.
"Ahh, um."
Faced towards the boy's slightly blus.h.i.+ng face, which had a trace of surprise, she asked in a sisterly voice:
"What's wrong, Kajiri? Um, why are you hugging me so tight... Ahhh?!"
She had no recollection of this place. She then stopped talking and couldn't help but take in her surroundings.
This was - hmm, a corridor in a high school? One side of the wall was covered with windows, and the polished floor made of polyester was sparkling next to it. It was slightly different from how things were in Breaksun's home country, but she understood where this was because she had seen such scenes on TV. But why - why was she sleeping here?
And the corridor in front of her was very strange too.
"..."
It was little wonder she thought the world was covered in snow. The school building was filled with a blinding white light. What was going on? Debris and dirt were all flying in the air. All was pitch black outside the window, but why was the school building the only thing with such radiance? She could hardly open her eyes.
Breaksun was lying in Kajiri's arms, and he was hugging her tightly. They were on the third story of the building, and it seemed the building was seriously tilted. Almost all the windows were broken, and many parts of the corridor had already crumbled and fallen down.
It was obvious that something serious had happened here. And, as Breaksun expected, she didn't remember any of it. She tried her best to scour the memories in her head, but she only recalled she went to the karaoke with Kajiri to sing, then lots of tanks popped out... then her memories stopped as if it had been cut off, and she couldn't remember anything anymore.
"Um..."
"Breako, how are you feeling? Do you feel any pain anywhere?"
Huh, did Kajiri suddenly get very gentle?
Breaksun tilted her head and made deep breathes. Her wrist made a cracking sound when she stood up.
"Not much... I don't feel anything wrong with my body. I feel really energized."
"Really? That's wonderful..."
Oho, Kajiri was seriously getting happy. That was so weird. She couldn't understand that. She tried to pat his head, but he was not resisting it earnestly like before. How did Kajiri become so weird?
Kajiri lowered his body and said in something in a low voice. His long fringe covered the expression on his face.
"... Although it was my first time resurrecting someone, it seems like I did a pretty good job."
"Huh? What did you say just now, Kajiri?"
Breaksun narrowed her eyes due to the blinding light coming from the school building and asked Kajiri, but he suddenly kicked Breaksun's behind.
"Nothing. It's Breako. It's all Breako... you made me so worried. Don't leave me anymore. Seriously..."
"It hurts hurts hurts. Why did you kick me Kajiri? This is domestic violence. Violence from a lover who's living with me and is even younger than me...! I'm so pitiful!"
They were arguing and making exchanges like usual. It was such a peaceful life.
But it was such a dreamy feeling. Her body felt like it was floating.
"Oh... Ahh."
Suddenly, Kajiri tumbled, as if he was blinded by the strong light... He stilled his stance, planting his feet firmly in the ground, then walked forward while holding Breaksun's hand. Breaksun did not know what was going on for a moment.
She was being dragged forward and stumbling over herself. A crumbling corridor stretched out before her. It was the third floor. Moreover, Breaksun was someone who was not good with sports. Her condition was also very bad, and her head felt dizzy.
"Ah, ah, um, Kajiri!"
Breaksun and Kajiri
"What is it this time? As long as you are ok, hurry and escape with me - Breako, this building is almost gone... seriously, stop acting so dizzy and so casual!"
Dizzy and casual?
What - did that mean?
As Breaksun thought this, she was dragged forward by Kajiri, who was as short as her but had far greater strength. Breaksun had no control over her body, as if she was tightly tied to the bottommost level of h.e.l.l. A huge hole was on the floor of the corridor in front of her, and broken and bent iron poles were poking out of it. It would be the ideal height to commit suicide from here, and the hole was about the right size. Of course, Breaksun didn't have wings or a rocket pack behind her. If she walked that way, and fell down when she stepped out...
Breaksun had to give up this idea when she looked at Kajiri's very serious expression, and looked elsewhere. The large majority of the school building was gone. Apart from the starlit sky and the ground, there were only small hills of debris and ruins along the direction they were going. The height was dizzying. It would definitely hurt if she fell from here. She would definitely be severely wounded, or even die.
"Kajiri? Um, there was a guy in Greek mythology, someone who flew in the sky with wings made out of wax and feather, called Daedalus -”
"Shut up. We're jumping."
As Kajiri said this, Breaksun's face suddenly became extremely pale. Kajiri grabbed her hand, stamped hard on the floor, and jumped up into the air. Breaksun was dragged by him and flew into the sky as well. Then the two of them obeyed Newton's law of physics, and fell towards the ground.
The outside world was cold, and there was a peculiar sensation of floating. The dark night felt oppressive, and there was no light. However, there was a powerful light, as strong as an airburst bomb, illuminating the school building. One could see the curving countryside roads around it, and the roofs of the shops in the distance were shrunken as if they were toys.
It felt so fun – but that sensation only lasted for a few seconds. They then fell rapidly thanks to the unavoidable gravity towards the ground. Breaksun grabbed hold of Kajiri as tightly as she could, and opened her eyes and screamed in terror.
"Wah, wahhhh, I'm falling! I'm falling down! I'm being forced to commit suicide with my younger lover! Dad and Mum in Heaven, I'm so sorry!"
"Shut up! If you want to get out of this situation faster, this is the only way!"
The wind whipped past their faces. Their clothes flapped, and the scenery keep falling upwards. As if this was not her business, Breaksun only just then recognized that she was falling - Meanwhile, Kajiri took out the sharp and pointy crucifix as usual, and stabbed it into his wrist without hesitation.
A mist of blood seeped out, as thick as the stars in the sky.
Breaksun had completely lost control of herself. She was screaming loudly in a panic and crying. Kajiri, however, was obviously upset and his anger was written all over his face. He said with a low voice: "... Breako!"
"Huh?! Ahhhh, Kajiri!"
She felt Kajiri's warmth as he hugged her with all his strength right as they were about to slam into the ground. However, she also saw the most terrible future possible. She started to imagine the end, as they fell to their death -
Why would it be like this? It was a sensation she had never experienced before, a strong sense of being alive.
This red-haired flatmate she accidentally picked up, who had always stuck to her and kept next to her, and who she actually fancied might become her family in the future... For some reason, his expression looked as if he was crying, yet he still hugged Breaksun tightly.
"... Don't, don't go away on your own anymore."
Breaksun couldn't help but feel a sliver of happiness when she heard this. Yes, no one ever stayed with him. It was as if he had always stayed in his single room, located at the edge of the entire world, where he could only hug his knees and sit there alone. And she... she wanted to be next to him, next to his boy isolated and forgotten by the entire Earth.
“Loneliness” was definitely a disease. Even if he was an immortal with some incredible power, he would still feel pain from being alone.
He looked so pitiful when he was in pain. Kajiri was only just a kid.
He was a child placed in the middle of a single room with no toys, where no one could hug him, where he was completely forgotten.
“Okay.”
Breaksun smiled.
Yes. At least she would hug him, would give him lots and lots of toys, would talk about all sorts of things with him, and would do her best to make him happy. With that, her own loneliness should disappear too. Everyone will become very happy and full of joy.
“Please let me keep visiting your single room!”
They approached the ground as she said this. The blood that Kajiri already shed was scattered all over the ground. The empty dark school ground looked like a monstrosity with its mouth gaping open.
Ahh. Her feet would be smashed if she landed like this. Breaksun wailed pessimistically:
“No no no it’ll be ok! I was a bird in the previous life, so it doesn’t matter! The birds that flew and fell in love in the sky! Ah, no! It’s got nothing to do with the previous life! I don’t have wings right now. Will I die like this!?”
As she was busy feeling confused, they smashed into the ground with a heavy thud. The dry ground around the school, that apparently solid and even surface, was now full of scattered sharp debris and steel, like a h.e.l.lish place full of traps. And suddenly… there was a flash of crimson light across the entire spance, almost as if it contained a sheen of blood.
“… Huh?!”
Then… She yelled in happiness.
As if they were on a trampoline, Kajiri and Breaksun jumped and rolled on the very soft ground. It didn’t hurt at all. The powerful impact was completely erased, and the only thing left was a gentle and soft touch.
“Huh? Huh? Huh?”
Breaksun looked around and climbed up in a rush, putting her hands onto the ground, feeling that alien sensation. It was soft, squishy, spongy, as if…
“This… This feels almost like strawberry cotton candy! It feels so good to have it so soft!”
“Don’t just obsess over how soft it is!”
Kajiri mumbled as an annoyed expression surfaced on his face, and he sighed as he looked at Breaksun, who put her cheek to the ground.
“I haven’t told you yet, but this is my ability – I can create and change everything on Earth and their corresponding principles. I tried to make the ground in the school soft… Hmm, looks like it did successfully make us bounce.”
After making a suitable explanation, Kajiri suddenly started to wobble.
“- Kajiri?”
Shocked, Breaksun stood up immediately and took hold of Kajiri’s body. His face was pallid, as if he was about to fall down.
A long time ago, she heard that using Kajiri’s ability would make him lose his life – Breaksun didn’t know what happened when she pa.s.sed out. However, this was already Kajiri’s limit. Maybe he used too much of his power.
If this goes on – would Kajiri die?
Breaksun became very anxious. She put her hand on his unconscious forehead and felt his temperature – although there were no reasons to do this.
“Kajiri. Kajiri, are you alright?”
“… Mmm, I’m ok. And… rather than worrying about me, you should worry more about yourself.”
Kajiri’s breathing, which was rapid and painful, started to calm down. He said to Breaksun with seriousness:
“The Great Fragment within your body - PoisonCatastrophe - isn't there anymore. It's like your heart got taken away. Now you're just an ordinary human... You will actually die when you die."
"My heart... got taken away?"
Her words shook with worry, and she put her hand over her breast, where she felt the thumping of her heart.
What is this? Breaksun tilted her head, and her face was full of confusion, but Kajiri had already taken her hand and started running again.
She couldn't help but run with him when he dragged her with unbelievable strength, but her mind remained fuddled and confused.
Being someone who was really bad at sports, Breaksun was almost falling down as she complained anxiously to Kajiri:
"Woah - Kajiri, why are you in such a hurry? Where are we going? Didn't you just use your abilities? If you don't rest... and I'm still a bit worried about Eguriko and the others. I want to find..."
"We don't have time for that!"
Kajiri yelled out. He looked to be very concerned and in pain, as if he was terrified of something. They ran as far as they could away from the school building. He stumbled then, as if he was about to fall down, and Breaksun couldn't help herself but move up to him and hold him steady.
Kajiri's eyes, those innocent and clear eyes, like that of an animal - those eyes that reflected the entire world like mirrors of truth - were not looking towards the way they were running towards for some reason. They only gazed towards the light that was spreading from the school.
"It's Ultimate s.h.i.+eldThe Weakest. It's Ultimate s.h.i.+eldThe Weakest - He's being very upset!"
What was Kajiri seeing? What did he know? Breaksun didn't understand any of that. All she knew was that Kajiri was very afraid, and putting Breaksun instinctively on her guard.
Something -
Something was about to happen.
Or rather, about to end.
She understood now. She understood this now. Every single existence in this world, just like Breaksun, felt that something was about to come to an end.
"G.o.d!"
Kajiri roared. He felt that chilling, freezing terror in the depths of his bowels. He called out the name of G.o.d. But Breaksun - she didn't know anything. She didn't understand anything. She simply turned back to looking at the school building, following Kajiri's gaze and voice.
"This is a joke! What is this! If this is the truth of the world, if you are indeed G.o.d, then what are we? You G.o.dd.a.m.n b.a.s.t.a.r.d!"
Kajiri turned around in despair and reached out his hand towards the school, which sparkled with a beautiful light, with a severe and stern expression.
"Why?! Why are you - G.o.d!?"
Kajiri yelled at the top of his lungs. All was quiet around them - there was no moonlight, no starlight, and all the lights had gone out around the road at night. This was a dim world full of lies and slowly approaching death. As if they were disappearing within this world, they could only walk on as they look upon the glowing school building.
"...Ah!"
In the blink of an eye, Breaksun saw it.
She thought she saw it.
Even the shape of the glowing school building was starting to become fuzzy. But within one of those still intact rooms - behind an open window -
There was a beautiful white figure, emitting an even more brilliant light that dimmed everything else in its brightness.
"..."
That person then started to talk, and Breaksun indeed heard it loudly and clearly. That person's face was full of sorrow, and those words were like a reply to Kajiri's angry roars -
"I'm sorry. I am G.o.d."
Usagawa Rinne said in a low voice, and moved her gaze away from the school grounds with a sigh. She was the center and source of the light. All around her, the floor, walls, and the ceiling around her had already disappeared, swallowed up and replaced with a s.p.a.ce full of a pure white brilliance. The only thing left - no, the only thing Rinne desired to leave intact - was the window that connected her to the outside world. If she looked away, even that would disappear into nothingness, leaving the purity of this unblemished, pristine expanse intact.
It was unlike anything else in the world. It was another world unto itself. It was unimaginable, a whiteness like the empty void after death.
Rinne hugged herself tightly within it and s.h.i.+vered. Scary. This was so scary. There was nothing else. An eternally peaceful world. Never any changes at all. If she disappeared inside here as well, then true nothingness would certainly follow.
Is this death? Is this death? She suddenly started to think.
It was a feeling that she seemed to have felt before. It was definitely very familiar. There was a time she had lingered in a state of near death, floating in the narrow s.p.a.ce between existence and annihilation. Then, she had been swallowed up by the whiteness and after that... she had completely disappeared in this realm governed by ‘death’.
She had once had this kind of a sensation. Of course, it was only in her mind.
When Rinne woke up, she was still wearing her school uniform, and she had her favourite hair bands in her hair as if she was about to go to school. The thick smell of blood, which had permeated the area just before, had also completely disappeared. There was no scent left, no sound.
It was very disturbing scene indeed.
Usagawa Rinne gradually realized what was going on, thought it through, and understood it all. Although there were still some stubborn residues of her ident.i.ty in her mind, and a part of her still obstinately refused to accept her own deduction, it was only a matter of time before she completely acknowledged the truth.
For now she finally remembered.
She remembered those things she wanted to forget, those things that she wouldn't have cared about if she didn't think about them anymore. She understood them all. Why? Why? Rinne pondered this. Even if Single Room hadn’t asked his question, Rinne would still be the first person to disapprove of this fact.
Why was it her? Why?
"..."
She spoke into the emptiness, but there was no reply. That was probably what people meant when they said 'the stubborn truth'. It was the sole truth, and therefore unshakable. There was no meaning behind it. It was cruel and unhuman. It was unforgiving and cold.
She didn't want to understand any such truths. She had always wanted to forget this, and live on peacefully.
However, it was almost over. The world was waking up.
The monsters were approaching slowly. Annihilation, and a despairing eternity - that was what the final judgment.
"..."
Rinne realized something very beautiful was next to her feet. It was a transparent coffin, a magnificent vessel that reflected light, a vessel of gla.s.s that sealed the dead within, and it was full of fragrant roses.
Still wearing her school uniform, she gazed at that coffin for very long time.
It was finally time. Rinne sighed and mumbled with an expressionless face:
"... Indeed."
Then G.o.d saw it again, that dream He dreamt to escape from His reality.
"It was a dream. This kind of a dream is only a lie. I have seen these kinds of strange dreams before already. A dream where as long as I wake up, I could go to school again with Guriko, go attend Sensei's cla.s.s, and then... then..."
She stepped into the coffin and laid down, crossing her arms and closing her eyes, looking very peaceful.
"It would be fine... just like this."
Rinne was the center of this glowing void, this s.h.i.+ning emptiness. She smiled, but a single tear trickled down the side of her face.