All the Days of My Life: An Autobiography Part 29

But, as I looked, I saw a black line down the center of it grow to a visible break, and this break grow wider and wider, until one-half of the arch fell to the ground, amid groans and cries, far off, but terrible. At the same moment I saw a _Presence_ of great height, dim and shadowy, standing beside the ruined arch, and he cried for the _birds of prey_ in a voice that filled all s.p.a.ce. Turning north, and south, and east, and west, he cried, "_Come! and I will give you flesh to eat!_"

From this dream I awoke in a maze of awe and wonder. I rose and went to the open door, and stood leaning against its lintel, carefully thinking over every detail of what I had seen and heard. It was hardly dawn, and that most pathetic of all objects, the waning moon, was sinking low to the horizon, and the whole world was wrapped in a gray mystery. For a few moments I saw Nature in those ineffable moments when she was asleep--so still, so cool, so soft and vapory in all her tints--her very face shrouded in a mist-like veil. I turned to Robert; he also was asleep, but I felt that I must tell him the message given me, while the spirit of it was still on me. I awakened him, and he listened in silence to what I had to say; but when I ceased speaking, he sighed and answered,

"It is war, then, Milly, and may G.o.d help us!"

"It is war, long and cruel war, Robert. What shall we do? Will you return to England? You know Sister Mary told us in her last letter, that your mother wished you to come home, and would do all she could to help you."

"Nothing could induce me to go back to Scotland," he answered positively.

"Then where shall we go?" I asked.

"Let us remain here, in Austin. I like the people, and I like the country. I am willing to share its fortune, war or peace--if you will share it with me."

"Robert!" I said fervently, "your country is my country, and your friends are my friends."

"Well, then, dear, we have been warned, and we must not neglect the warning. We must make all the preparation possible."

"You must have a good deal of money saved, Robert?" I asked.

"No, Milly, I have not. I have invested all the extra money I made in land," he answered. "I was working for our own little plantation some day."

Then I asked if, in the changes likely to occur, he would be in danger of losing his position in the comptroller's office, and he said, "It is possible. The United States Government has been kind and generous to me," he added, "and I have no intention of taking any oath against it."

"But if Texas should become a republic again?"

"She will not. Her enormous wealth is yet undeveloped. She has no money to carry on a government. I know that positively."

We sat talking of probabilities until the dawn grew to sun-rising, and then we rode out to Mr. Illingworth's place, and had our cup of coffee with him and his wife. And one of the first things he said was, "I tell you, Barr, there will be a turning up and out in the government offices when Houston comes home."

"He is coming, then?" asked Robert.

"Yes. You will see him some morning soon, sitting in front of Tong's grocery, looking like a lion, and wearing a Serape Saltillero[3] like a royal mantle. I can't help admiring the man, though I do not like him. In a far-off way he reminds me of Oliver Cromwell."

"Where is he now?"

"In some small room in a Was.h.i.+ngton hotel, faithfully attending every session of the Senate, and every meeting of the Baptist church, and unceasingly whittling hearts and anchors, and other such toys out of a bit of pine wood."

"Whittling in church, and the Senate House?"

"In both places, in every place, and you will see him soon whittling in front of Tong's grocery."

We did not see him until the fall, when he ran for the governors.h.i.+p of Texas against his old enemy, Governor Runnels, whom he quickly talked out of political existence, and then seated himself in the Governor's chair. I do not intend to trouble my readers with the political events of that date, excepting as they affected my own life; and, although General Houston is the grandest and most picturesque figure in American history, I shall refrain myself from magnifying either his exploits, character, or personality. Are they not written in the books of the historians, and in my own novel, "Remember the Alamo"? However, for a short s.p.a.ce it will be necessary to note the conditions of affairs in Austin; for it was then the background of my story, but I shall do this without prejudice, and without unnecessary length of words.

An immense crowd came into Austin to witness Houston's inauguration, and for long it did not altogether leave the city. The sweet, quiet, flower-scented streets were no longer haunted on moonlight nights by white-robed girls, and lovers singing "Juanita" to their tinkling guitars. They were full of rangers and frontiersmen, of deserting United States soldiers, waiting to join the Confederate army, and of little squads of Lipan or Tonkaway Indians, who were the spies and scouts of the United States army in their constant warfare against the cruel and hostile Comanche and Apache tribes. Yet a very handsome party of Apaches, under the watchful eyes of an Indian agent, visited Houston; for, over all Indians, Houston had an extraordinary influence. I do not remember being told that they had come with offers of peace and alliance, but I think they would not have been permitted to enter Austin under any other pretext. For there was speaking, and often quarreling at every gathering point, and not unfrequently the warning sound of a rifle or pistol shot. And, if a real scrimmage had arisen among the white men of the three parties, it would have been an enjoyable circ.u.mstance to either Apache or Comanche.

So I also kept quietly at home, teaching my two eldest girls and a few others, for about three hours daily. I did not in any respect keep a school as I did in Chicago, but I had always about four or five girls whose education I looked a little after. I did this first, for the sake of teaching, which was then, as it is to this day, a delight to me, provided I have a bright, eager scholar. Secondly, I retained my friends of all parties through their daughters. Thirdly, I loved then, as I do yet, the company of girls. I was their confidant and friend, as well as their teacher. They brought me intelligence from all quarters, and they told me their sweet, little personal secrets. I have never forgotten some of these girls, and they have never forgotten me.

Thus I pa.s.sed three or four hours every day in a manner I particularly liked, and for the rest it went in looking after my dear children's physical necessities, in humoring and pleasing Robert, and seeing that his special comforts were attended to, and in bearing, as well as human nature could do, the laziness, ignorance, and cunning diableries of the negroes in the kitchen. There was little visiting, the proud, retiring nature of the Southern woman showing itself as soon as strangers and crowds became common in Austin. In these days the pretty young girls in their white frocks and white sunbonnets vanished from the streets; and the men who strutted about them, or loafed on chairs a-tilt under the trees, moving round with the shadow all day, showed plainly the daily deterioration of masculine humanity left to its own devices and desires.

Houston's complete defeat of Runnels was considered a great triumph for the Unionist party, and his influence undoubtedly put off secession for another year. This was the year 1860, during the whole of which there was the same restless looking forward to the war, every one felt was inevitable, if Mr. Lincoln was elected President. I kept quietly at home. Robert brought me the news and not infrequently a visitor whom he thought would interest me. One afternoon he wrote, saying, "The Indian agent and three of the chiefs in town will take supper with us," and I was asked to set a plentiful table. In this visit I took the greatest possible interest. I brought out my best damask, and the richly gilded china that Robert's mother had given me for a wedding present. She regarded it as almost too splendid to use, and I could not help a little laugh, when I imagined her sensations, if she could see these half-clothed savages drinking tea out of them.

Then I regretfully sighed, "Poor Mother!" For my heart had turned a little towards her, since she had wished Robert to come home. I adorned the table with flowers, and saw that chicken in every form was prepared, and cakes, and pies in profusion. The party arrived promptly, and I was introduced to the members who composed it. The agent was a charming young man, full of all kinds of information, but in the Indians I was much disappointed.

They were uncivil, self-centered, and could speak no English. And they did not know how to eat the good things provided for them, for they ate and drank every item of the meal _by itself_--vegetables alone, meat alone, bread alone, and the only dish that appeared to please them, was some cream and white of egg savored with vanilla and whipped as stiff as possible. They laughed over this delicacy, exchanged grunts of satisfaction, and handed me their gla.s.ses to be refilled.

After supper I played and sang for them. They watched me curiously, but without pleasure, and were more interested in finding out where the music came from than in the music itself. So Robert opened the instrument, let them inspect the interior to see how the hammers struck the wires, and they watched with fear and wonder, and exchanged looks and interjections that expressed these emotions. To me there was something pathetic, and yet obscene, in this shameless exhibition of big, strong men clad like warriors, showing the fear and wonder of little children. I told Robert to bring no more friendly savages to see me, and that night I prayed with all my heart for any white woman who might fall into their power.

During the summer of this year, 1860, there was a sudden lull in events, but it was only the lull of warriors breathlessly watching. On the election of Mr. Lincoln to the Presidency, they sprang as one man to arms. Secession was now certain, and Houston found himself compelled to summon a general convention, which met in Austin on the twenty-seventh of January, 1861. It submitted secession to a popular vote, and adjourned. I was present at this decision, and wondered at the crowd of excited men submitting to the delay.

"We are _laggards_! _Laggards_ in duty!" cried an old frontiersman; and Houston replied with calm dignity,

"Sir, we are acting as trustees for posterity. It becomes us to do all things decently, and in order."

A loud, confused rattle of side arms was the only audible reply. It might have been an a.s.sent to Houston's opinion, but it was more likely to be a promise, that the duty would be fully redeemed.

I did not wonder at the old man calling Texans "laggards," for, immediately after the election of Mr. Lincoln, South Carolina seceded; Mississippi followed her in three weeks; Florida went out on January the tenth, 1861; Alabama, on January the eleventh; Georgia, on January the nineteenth; Louisiana, on January the twenty-fifth; so that, when Houston called the Texas convention, six states had already made preparations for meeting on February the fourth, at Montgomery, Alabama, to organize a provisional Congress of Confederate States.

Robert told me that, in a conversation in the Governor's office, some one spoke scornfully of this meeting, and Houston replied,

"Sir, it is an unlawful meeting, but it cannot be a contemptible one, with such men as ex-President Tyler, Roger A. Pryor, and our own Wigfall leading it."

"Is that all, Robert?" I asked, for I was always delighted to hear anything about Houston.

"Very nearly. Some one added, 'There is Jefferson Davis, also.'"

"Oh! What did Houston say?"

"He said, 'I know Jefferson Davis, and I did not mention him, because I know him. He is proud as Lucifer and cold as a lizard.'"

Then I had one of those unreasonable certainties, that are all-convincing to the people who have them, and sheer foolishness to all ignorant of their irresistible testimony; and I said, "Houston is right; my lips s.h.i.+ver if they utter his name. He will bring ill-luck to any cause."

On the eighteenth of February, General Twiggs, the United States commandant, surrendered to Houston all the national forces in Texas--twenty-five hundred men, and national property valued at $1,200,000. Five days afterwards, the vote on secession was taken.

There were forty thousand for secession and fourteen thousand against it. These were anxious, eager days, and it was impossible to avoid catching the popular fever. The convention met again on the second of March, and on the fifth it at once adopted measures for entering the Southern Confederacy, to which new government all state officers were commanded to take the oath of allegiance on the fourteenth of March.

With two friends I went to the Capitol to witness the ceremony, and, as we had seats in the front of the gallery, we looked down directly upon a desk just below us, on which the Ordinance of Secession was spread out. One of my companions was a most pa.s.sionate Unionist, and she pointed out the doc.u.ment with an unspeakable scorn and contempt.

The House was crowded; it was really electrified with the fiery radiations of men tingling with pa.s.sion, and glowing and burning with the antic.i.p.ation of revengeful battle. And the air was full of the stirring clamor of a mult.i.tude of voices--angry, triumphant, scornful, with an occasional oath or epithet of contempt.

But when Houston appeared there was a sudden silence. It was the homage involuntarily paid to the man himself, not to his office.

Firmly and clearly, he refused to take the oath of allegiance to the Confederate States; but the Lieutenant-Governor, a certain Edward Clarke, was eager to do so. He was an insignificant creature, whose airy conceit was a direct insult to Houston's sad countenance and dignified manner; and I remember well how contemptible he appeared, as spry and pert, he stepped up to the bar of the House to take the oath. Just as he reached the desk, on which the Ordinance of Secession lay, my Unionist friend, a bright, clever girl, of about sixteen years old, leaned forward and spit directly on the centre of it. There was a little soft laughter from the women sympathizers who saw the action, and Clarke's handkerchief lay for a moment on the historical parchment, but there was no remark, and the incident caused not the slightest interruption.

"Why did you do that, Lucille?" I asked.

"To express my opinion. Did you see Clarke's handkerchief?"

"Yes."

"Then I suppose he got what I sent. And it is in Clarke's handkerchief!

In Clarke's pocket! Poor spittle! _What an ignominy!_"

Two days afterwards Clarke was made Governor in place of Houston.

Changes in all the government offices were likely to follow, and I could not help feeling anxious concerning Robert's position. About certain things he could be so stubborn. Men are made that way. They have prejudices, and they call them principles, and then--sink or swim, they stick to them.