''Abe'' Lincoln's Yarns and Stories Part 19

The first two phrases are so familiar here in the West that they need no explanation. Of the last and more pioneer one it may be said that it had a special force, and was peculiarly Lincoln-like in the way applied by him.

In the early times in Illinois, those having hogs, did their own killing, a.s.sisted by their neighbors. Stripped of its hair, one held the carca.s.s nearly perpendicular in the air, head down, while others put one point of the gambrel-bar through a slit in its hock, then over the string-pole, and the other point through the other hock, and so swung the animal clear of the ground. While all this was being done, it took a good man to "hold the hog," greasy, warmly moist, and weighing some two hundred pounds. And often those with the gambrel prolonged the strain, being provokingly slow, in hopes to make the holder drop his burden.

This latter thought is again expressed where President Lincoln, writing of the peace which he hoped would "come soon, to stay; and so come as to be worth the keeping in all future time," added that while there would "be some black men who can remember that with silent tongue and clenched teeth and steady eye, and well-poised bayonet, they have helped mankind on to this great consummation," he feared there would "be some white ones unable to forget that, with malignant heart and deceitful tongue, they had striven to hinder it."

He had two seemingly opposite elements little understood by strangers, and which those in more intimate relations with him find difficult to explain; an open, boyish tongue when in a happy mood, and with this a reserve of power, a force of thought that impressed itself without words on observers in his presence. With the cares of the nation on his mind, he became more meditative, and lost much of his lively ways remembered "back in Illinois."

HIS POOR RELATIONS.

One of the most beautiful traits of Mr. Lincoln's character was his considerate regard for the poor and obscure relatives he had left, plodding along in their humble ways of life. Wherever upon his circuit he found them, he always went to their dwellings, ate with them, and, when convenient, made their houses his home. He never a.s.sumed in their presence the slightest superiority to them. He gave them money when they needed it and he had it. Countless times he was known to leave his companions at the village hotel, after a hard day's work in the court-room, and spend the evening with these old friends and companions of his humbler days. On one occasion, when urged not to go, he replied, "Why, Aunt's heart would be broken if I should leave town without calling upon her;" yet, he was obliged to walk several miles to make the call.

DESERTER'S SINS WASHED OUT IN BLOOD.

This was the reply made by Lincoln to an application for the pardon of a soldier who had shown himself brave in war, had been severely wounded, but afterward deserted: "Did you say he was once badly wounded?

"Then, as the Scriptures say that in the shedding of blood is the remission of sins, I guess we'll have to let him off this time."

SURE CURE FOR BOILS.

President Lincoln and Postmaster-General Blair were talking of the war.

"Blair," said the President, "did you ever know that fright has sometimes proven a cure for boils?" "No, Mr. President, how is that?" "I'll tell you. Not long ago when a colonel, with his cavalry, was at the front, and the Rebs were making things rather lively for us, the colonel was ordered out to a reconnaissance. He was troubled at the time with a big boil where it made horseback riding decidedly uncomfortable. He finally dismounted and ordered the troops forward without him. Soon he was startled by the rapid reports of pistols and the helter-skelter approach of his troops in full retreat before a yelling rebel force. He forgot everything but the yells, sprang into his saddle, and made capital time over the fences and ditches till safe within the lines. The pain from his boil was gone, and the boil, too, and the colonel swore that there was no cure for boils so sure as fright from rebel yells."

PAY FOR EVERYTHING.

When President Lincoln issued a military order, it was usually expressive, as the following shows: "War Department, Was.h.i.+ngton, July 22, '62.

"First: Ordered that military commanders within the States of Virginia, South Carolina, Georgia, Florida, Alabama, Mississippi, Louisiana, Texas and Arkansas, in an orderly manner, seize and use any property, real or personal, which may be necessary or convenient for their several commands, for supplies, or for other military purposes; and that while property may be all stored for proper military objects, none shall be destroyed in wantonness or malice.

"Second: That military and naval commanders shall employ as laborers within and from said States, so many persons of African descent as can be advantageously used for military or naval purposes, giving them reasonable wages for their labor.

"Third: That as to both property and persons of African descent, accounts shall be kept sufficiently accurate and in detail to show quant.i.ties and amounts, and from whom both property and such persons shall have come, as a basis upon which compensation can be made in proper cases; and the several departments of this Government shall attend to and perform their appropriate parts towards the execution of these orders.

"By order of the President."

BASHFUL WITH LADIES.

Judge David Davis, Justice of the United States Supreme Court, and United States Senator from Illinois, was one of Lincoln's most intimate friends. He told this story on "Abe": "Lincoln was very bashful when in the presence of ladies. I remember once we were invited to take tea at a friend's house, and while in the parlor I was called to the front gate to see someone.

"When I returned, Lincoln, who had undertaken to entertain the ladies, was twisting and squirming in his chair, and as bashful as a schoolboy."

SAW HUMOR IN EVERYTHING.

There was much that was irritating and uncomfortable in the circuit-riding of the Illinois court, but there was more which was amusing to a temperament like Lincoln's. The freedom, the long days in the open air, the unexpected if trivial adventures, the meeting with wayfarers and settlers--all was an entertainment to him. He found humor and human interest on the route where his companions saw nothing but commonplaces.

"He saw the ludicrous in an a.s.semblage of fowls," says H. C. Whitney, one of his fellow-itinerants, "in a man spading his garden, in a clothes-line full of clothes, in a group of boys, in a lot of pigs rooting at a mill door, in a mother duck teaching her brood to swim--in everything and anything."

SPECIFIC FOR FOREIGN "RASH."

It was in the latter part of 1863 that Russia offered its friends.h.i.+p to the United States, and sent a strong fleet of wars.h.i.+ps, together with munitions of war, to this country to be used in any way the President might see fit. Russia was not friendly to England and France, these nations having defeated her in the Crimea a few years before. As Great Britain and the Emperor of the French were continually bothering him, President Lincoln used Russia's kindly feeling and action as a means of keeping the other two powers named in a neutral state of mind. Underneath the cartoon we here reproduce, which was labeled "Drawing Things to a Head," and appeared in the issue of "Harper's Weekly," of November 28, 1863, was this DR. LINCOLN (to smart boy of the shop): "Mild applications of Russian Salve for our friends over the way, and heavy doses--and plenty of it for our Southern patient!!"

Secretary of State Seward was the "smart boy" of the shop, and "our friend over the way" were England and France. The latter bothered President Lincoln no more, but it is a fact that the Confederate privateer Alabama was manned almost entirely by British seamen; also, that when the Alabama was sunk by the Kearsarge, in the summer of 1864, the Confederate seamen were picked up by an English vessel, taken to Southhampton, and set at liberty!

FAVORED THE OTHER SIDE.

Lincoln was candor itself when conducting his side of a case in court. General Mason Brayman tells this story as an ill.u.s.tration: "It is well understood by the profession that lawyers do not read authors favoring the opposite side. I once heard Mr. Lincoln, in the Supreme Court of Illinois, reading from a reported case some strong points in favor of his argument. Reading a little too far, and before becoming aware of it, plunged into an authority against himself.

"Pausing a moment, he drew up his shoulders in a comical way, and half laughing, went on, 'There, there, may it please the court, I reckon I've scratched up a snake. But, as I'm in for it, I guess I'll read it through.'

"Then, in his most ingenious and matchless manner, he went on with his argument, and won his case, convincing the court that it was not much of a snake after all."

LINCOLN AND THE "SHOW"

Lincoln was fond of going all by himself to any little show or concert. He would often slip away from his fellow-lawyers and spend the entire evening at a little magic lantern show intended for children.

A traveling concert company was always sure of drawing Lincoln. A Mrs. Hillis, a member of the "Newhall Family," and a good singer, was the only woman who ever seemed to exhibit any liking for him--so Lincoln said. He attended a negro-minstrel show in Chicago, once, where he heard Dixie sung. It was entirely new, and pleased him greatly.

"MIXING" AND "MINGLING."

An Eastern newspaper writer told how Lincoln, after his first nomination, received callers, the majority of them at his law office: "While talking to two or three gentlemen and standing up, a very hard looking customer rolled in and tumbled into the only vacant chair and the one lately occupied by Mr. Lincoln. Mr. Lincoln's keen eye took in the fact, but gave no evidence of the notice.

"Turning around at last he spoke to the odd specimen, holding out his hand at such a distance that our friend had to vacate the chair if he accepted the proffered shake. Mr. Lincoln quietly resumed his chair.

"It was a small matter, yet one giving proof more positively than a larger event of that peculiar way the man has of mingling with a mixed crowd."

TOOK PART OF THE BLAME.

Among the lawyers who traveled the circuit with Lincoln was Usher F. Linder, whose daughter, Rose Linder Wilkinson, has left many Lincoln reminiscences.

"One case in which Mr. Lincoln was interested concerned a member of my own family," said Mrs. Wilkinson. "My brother, Dan, in the heat of a quarrel, shot a young man named Ben Boyle and was arrested. My father was seriously ill with inflammatory rheumatism at the time, and could scarcely move hand or foot. He certainly could not defend Dan. I was his secretary, and I remember it was but a day or so after the shooting till letters of sympathy began to pour in. In the first bundle which I picked up there was a big letter, the handwriting on which I recognized as that of Mr. Lincoln. The letter was very sympathetic.

"'I know how you feel, Linder,' it said. 'I can understand your anger as a father, added to all the other sentiments. But may we not be in a measure to blame? We have talked about the defense of criminals before our children; about our success in defending them; have left the impression that the greater the crime, the greater the triumph of securing an acquittal. Dan knows your success as a criminal lawyer, and he depends on you, little knowing that of all cases you would be of least value in this.'

"He concluded by offering his services, an offer which touched my father to tears.

"Mr. Lincoln tried to have Dan released on bail, but Ben Boyle's family and friends declared the wounded man would die, and feeling had grown so bitter that the judge would not grant any bail. So the case was changed to Marshall county, but as Ben finally recovered it was dismissed."

THOUGHT OF LEARNING A TRADE.

Lincoln at one time thought seriously of learning the blacksmith's trade. He was without means, and felt the immediate necessity of undertaking some business that would give him bread. While entertaining this project an event occurred which, in his undetermined state of mind, seemed to open a way to success in another quarter.

Reuben Radford, keeper of a small store in the village of New Salem, had incurred the displeasure of the "Clary Grove Boys," who exercised their "regulating" prerogatives by irregularly breaking his windows. William G. Greene, a friend of young Lincoln, riding by Radford's store soon afterward, was hailed by him, and told that he intended to sell out. Mr. Greene went into the store, and offered him at random $400 for his stock, which offer was immediately accepted.

Lincoln "happened in" the next day, and being familiar with the value of the goods, Mr. Greene proposed to him to take an inventory of the stock, to see what sort of a bargain he had made. This he did, and it was found that the goods were worth $600.

Lincoln then made an offer of $125 for his bargain, with the proposition that he and a man named Berry, as his partner, take over Greene's notes given to Radford. Mr. Greene agreed to the arrangement, but Radford declined it, except on condition that Greene would be their security. Greene at last a.s.sented.

Lincoln was not afraid of the "Clary Grove Boys"; on the contrary, they had been his most ardent friends since the time he thrashed "Jack" Armstrong, champion bully of "The Grove"--but their custom was not heavy.

The business soon became a wreck; Greene had to not only a.s.sist in closing it up, but pay Radford's notes as well. Lincoln afterwards spoke of these notes, which he finally made good to Greene, as "the National Debt."

LINCOLN DEFENDS FIFTEEN MRS. NATIONS.

When Lincoln's sympathies were enlisted in any cause, he worked like a giant to win. At one time (about 1855) he was in attendance upon court at the little town of Clinton, Ill., and one of the cases on the docket was where fifteen women from a neighboring village were defendants, they having been indicted for trespa.s.s. Their offense, as duly set forth in the indictment, was that of swooping down upon one Tanner, the keeper of a saloon in the village, and knocking in the heads of his barrels. Lincoln was not employed in the case, but sat watching the trial as it proceeded.

In defending the ladies, their attorney seemed to evince a little want of tact, and this prompted one of the former to invite Mr. Lincoln to add a few words to the jury, if he thought he could aid their cause. He was too gallant to refuse, and their attorney having consented, he made use of the following argument: "In this case I would change the order of indictment and have it read The State vs. Mr. Whiskey, instead of The State vs. The Ladies; and touching these there are three laws: the law of self-protection; the law of the land, or statute law; and the moral law, or law of G.o.d.

"First the law of self-protection is a law of necessity, as evinced by our forefathers in casting the tea overboard and a.s.serting their right to the pursuit of life, liberty and happiness: In this case it is the only defense the Ladies have, for Tanner neither feared G.o.d nor regarded man.

"Second, the law of the land, or statute law, and Tanner is recreant to both.

"Third, the moral law, or law of G.o.d, and this is probably a law for the violation of which the jury can fix no punishment."

Lincoln gave some of his own observations on the ruinous effects of whiskey in society, and demanded its early suppression.

After he had concluded, the Court, without awaiting the return of the jury, dismissed the ladies, saying: "Ladies, go home. I will require no bond of you, and if any fine is ever wanted of you, we will let you know."

AVOIDED EVEN APPEARANCE OF EVIL Frank W. Tracy, President of the First National Bank of Springfield, tells a story ill.u.s.trative of two traits in Mr. Lincoln's character. Shortly after the National banking law went into effect the First National of Springield was chartered, and Mr. Tracy wrote to Mr. Lincoln, with whom he was well acquainted in a business way, and tendered him an opportunity to subscribe for some of the stock.

In reply to the kindly offer Mr. Lincoln wrote, thanking Mr. Tracy, but at the same time declining to subscribe. He said he recognized that stock in a good National bank would be a good thing to hold, but he did not feel that he ought, as President, profit from a law which had been pa.s.sed under his administration.

"He seemed to wish to avoid even the appearance of evil," said Mr. Tracy, in telling of the incident. "And so the act proved both his unvarying probity and his unfailing policy."

WAR DIDN'T ADMIT OF HOLIDAYS.

Lincoln wrote a letter on October 2d, 1862, in which he observed: "I sincerely wish war was a pleasanter and easier business than it is, but it does not admit of holidays."

"NEUTRALITY."

Old John Bull got himself into a precious fine sc.r.a.pe when he went so far as to "play double" with the North, as well as the South, during the great American Civil War. In its issue of November 14th, 1863, London "Punch" printed a rather clever cartoon ill.u.s.trating the predicament Bull had created for himself. John is being lectured by Mrs. North and Mrs. South--both good talkers and eminently able to hold their own in either social conversation, parliamentary debate or political argument--but he bears it with the best grace possible. This is the way the text underneath the picture runs: MRS. NORTH. "How about the Alabama, you wicked old man?" MRS. SOUTH: "Where's my rams? Take back your precious consols--there!!" "Punch" had a good deal of fun with old John before it was through with him, but, as the Confederate privateer Alabama was sent beneath the waves of the ocean at Cherbourg by the Kearsarge, and Mrs. South had no need for any more rams, John got out of the difficulty without personal injury. It was a tight squeeze, though, for Mrs. North was in a fighting humor, and prepared to scratch or pull hair. The fact that the privateer Alabama, built at an English s.h.i.+pyard and manned almost entirely by English sailors, had managed to do about $10,000,000 worth of damage to United States commerce, was enough to make any one angry.

DAYS OF GLADNESS PAST.

After the war was well on, a patriot woman of the West urged President Lincoln to make hospitals at the North where the sick from the Army of the Mississippi could revive in a more bracing air. Among other reasons, she said, feelingly: "If you grant my pet.i.tion, you will be glad as long as you live."

With a look of sadness impossible to describe, the President said: "I shall never be glad any more."

WOULDN'T TAKE THE MONEY.

Lincoln always regarded himself as the friend and protector of unfortunate clients, and such he would never press for pay for his services. A client named Cogdal was unfortunate in business, and gave a note in settlement of legal fees. Soon afterward he met with an accident by which he lost a hand. Meeting Lincoln some time after on the steps of the State-House, the kind lawyer asked him how he was getting along.

"Badly enough," replied Cogdal; "I am both broken up in business and crippled." Then he added, "I have been thinking about that note of yours."

Lincoln, who had probably known all about Cogdal's troubles, and had prepared himself for the meeting, took out his pocket-book, and saying, with a laugh, "Well, you needn't think any more about it," handed him the note.

Cogdal protesting, Lincoln said, "Even if you had the money, I would not take it," and hurried away.

GRANT HELD ON ALL THE TIME.

(Dispatch to General Grant, August 17th, 1864.) "I have seen your dispatch expressing your unwillingness to break your hold where you are. Neither am I willing.

"Hold on with a bulldog grip."

CHEWED THE CUD IN SOLITUDE.

As a student (if such a term could be applied to Lincoln), one who did not know him might have called him indolent. He would pick up a book and run rapidly over the pages, pausing here and there.

At the end of an hour--never more than two or three hours--he would close the book, stretch himself out on the office lounge, and then, with hands under his head and eyes shut, would digest the mental food he had just taken.

"ABE'S" YANKEE INGENUITY.

War Governor Richard Yates (he was elected Governor of Illinois in 1860, when Lincoln was first elected President) told a good story at Springfield (Ill.) about Lincoln.

One day the latter was in the Sangamon River with his trousers rolled up five feet--more or less--trying to pilot a flatboat over a mill-dam. The boat was so full of water that it was hard to manage. Lincoln got the prow over, and then, instead of waiting to bail the water out, bored a hole through the projecting part and let it run out, affording a forcible ill.u.s.tration of the ready ingenuity of the future President.

LINCOLN PAID HOMAGE TO WAs.h.i.+NGTON.

The Martyr President thus spoke of Was.h.i.+ngton in the course of an address: "Was.h.i.+ngton is the mightiest name on earth--long since the mightiest in the cause of civil liberty, still mightiest in moral reformation.

"On that name a eulogy is expected. It cannot be.

"To add brightness to the sun or glory to the name of Was.h.i.+ngton is alike impossible.

"Let none attempt it.

"In solemn awe p.r.o.nounce the name, and, in its naked, deathless splendor, leave it s.h.i.+ning on."

STIRRED EVEN THE REPORTERS.

Lincoln's influence upon his audiences was wonderful. He could sway people at will, and nothing better ill.u.s.trates his extraordinary power than he manner in which he stirred up the newspaper reporters by his Bloomingon speech.

Joseph Medill, editor of the Chicago Tribune, told the story: "It was my journalistic duty, though a delegate to the convention, to make a 'longhand' report of the speeches delivered for the Tribune. I did make a few paragraphs of what Lincoln said in the first eight or ten minutes, but I became so absorbed in his magnetic oratory that I forgot myself and ceased to take notes, and joined with the convention in cheering and stamping and clapping to the end of his speech.

"I well remember that after Lincoln sat down and calm had succeeded the tempest, I waked out of a sort of hypnotic trance, and then thought of my report for the paper. There was nothing written but an abbreviated introduction.

"It was some sort of satisfaction to find that I had not been 'scooped,' as all the newspaper men present had been equally carried away by the excitement caused by the wonderful oration and had made no report or sketch of the speech."

WHEN "ABE" CAME IN.

When "Abe" was fourteen years of age, John Hanks journeyed from Kentucky to Indiana and lived with the Lincolns. He described "Abe's" habits thus: "When Lincoln and I returned to the house from work, he would go to the cupboard, s.n.a.t.c.h a piece of corn-bread, take down a book, sit down on a chair, c.o.c.k his legs up as high as his head, and read.

"He and I worked barefooted, grubbed it, plowed, mowed, cradled together; plowed corn, gathered it, and shucked corn. 'Abe' read constantly when he had an opportunity."

ETERNAL FIDELITY TO THE CAUSE OF LIBERTY.

During the Harrison Presidential campaign of 1840, Lincoln said, in a speech at Springfield, Illinois: "Many free countries have lost their liberty, and ours may lose hers; but if she shall, be it my proudest plume, not that I was last to desert, but that I never deserted her.

"I know that the great volcano at Was.h.i.+ngton, aroused and directed by the evil spirit that reigns there, is belching forth the lava of political corruption in a current broad and deep, which is sweeping with frightful velocity over the whole length and breadth of the land, bidding fair to leave unscathed no green spot or living thing.