The Twilight of the Souls Part 31

"Even if he...."

"Yes, oh yes!..."

"Never forgives. For he will _never_, he will _never_ forgive!"

"I forgive him, I forgive him!"

"Then all is well. Let him come in now: him ... and my child, my son, Henri ... and _him_ ... the child ... our child...."

Constance rose from her knees; she stumbled, sobbing, across the dark room. She groped for the door, opened it: the light of the lamps streamed in.

"Mamma is asking for you," she stammered through her tears. "For you ...

and Henri ... and Addie...."

Death entered the room with them....

CHAPTER XVIII

Constance and Henri returned to the Hague a week after Mrs. van der Welcke's funeral. Constance went straight to her mother.

"Oh, you mustn't leave me alone again so long!" Mrs. van Lowe complained. "I can't do without you for so long. It's so dark, so gloomy when you're not here, my Connie!... Yes, yes, they all came to see me regularly. But they are not like you, dear. It seems they no longer understand me. And, when they're gone, I sit here feeling so lonely, so lonely!... They're now all bothering me, wanting me to take a companion, or to have Dorine to live with me ... but I _won't_ have any one here.

It's such a trouble. An extra person in the house means such a lot of trouble. I can't see to everything as I used to. I just sit here at my window.... So the old lady, down there, is dead? People are dying every day. I can't understand why I need remain. I am no use to anybody now. I just sit here, giving all of you trouble: you all worry about me ... you all have to come regularly to see how I am. I can't understand why I need go on living. It would be much better if I just died.... There is nothing more to come for me. I've no illusions left. Not one. Even your boy, Connie: what an idea, to want to be a doctor How do we know if he's suited for it?... It's a good thing that you're back. I couldn't do without you.... Is the old man over there going to remain all alone, in that big house ... just as I remained all alone here?"

"No, Mamma, he won't be alone. There's a cousin coming to live with him: you know, old Freule[1] van der Welcke...."

"No, I don't remember. I often muddle people and names."

"Cousin Betsy van der Welcke...."

"No, I don't remember...."

"She's coming to live with the old man. We would have liked him to have had a companion to keep house for him ... because Cousin Betsy herself is so old."

"A companion, a companion: you want everybody to have a companion. So the old man will be all alone...."

"No, Mamma, the old cousin's coming."

"Which old cousin?"

"Cousin Betsy van der Welcke."

"Who?"

"Cousin Betsy, Mamma."

"Oh, yes, Cousin Betsy ... _and_ a companion?..."

"No, not a companion...."

"Well, then he'll be well looked after ... with Cousin Betsy and a companion. Better than I. I'm here all by myself."

"But that's not right. You must have some one with you."

"No companions for me, thank you!"

"Or Dorine...."

"So you're beginning with Dorine too! No, I won't have Dorine. She's too fidgety and restless for me."

"But she's out so much."

"No, she's fidgety and restless.... It's not nice of me to say so, dear, but really Dorine is too fidgety and restless, child.... Oh, child, if you yourself could come and live with me!"

"But, Mamma, that would never do."

"Yes, with your husband ... and your boy...."

"No, Mamma, it really wouldn't do."

"Yes, it would, yes, it would ... with your husband and your boy....

Then I would put up with the extra trouble."

"No, Mamma, really, it wouldn't do. Whereas Dorine...."

"No, no, I don't want Dorine. I want you."

"Why?"

"I want you. I want Addie. I want youth around me. It's all so gloomy here. Dorine.... Dorine's gloomy too.... So will you come?"

"Mamma ... really...."

"You don't want to. I see you don't want to.... You are all of you selfish.... Children always are.... Oh, why need I go on living?"

"Dear Mamma, do be reasonable. You say you would find Dorine too much trouble ... and, after all, there are three of us...."

"Yes, three of you. Well?"

"And the rest of the family?"

"What about them?"

"They wouldn't approve."