She and I Volume II Part 18

Ha! while alluding to telegraphs, let us instance the Atlantic cable.

_That_ strikes nearer home, doesn't it? Originated as the idea was by an American, Cyrus Field--to whom may all honour be given--can you inform me which country is ent.i.tled to take credit for its success--slow England or smart America?

You won't answer, eh? Then I'll tell you.

The company that conducted that undertaking to a triumphant issue--was got up in London, and formed mostly of Englishmen. The money that paid for the ocean cable--came out of the pockets of English shareholders.

English manufacturers constructed it:--English artisans fas.h.i.+oned it; and an English s.h.i.+p, the largest ever built, manned by an English crew, laid it. There! what do you say to that now, eh?

"Caved in?"

I guessed so. Thought _we_ "could crow some, I reckon."

But, I will say no more on the subject. I have allowed you to have the free benefit of my opinions--such as they are--at your private valuation, no discount allowed!

You don't seem pleased--what is it that you say?

You want to hear about my doings; and not my opinions?

Bless me! How very impatient you are. I was only just going to continue my story!

How can you hear about me without hearing my opinions also?

I dare say they may not appear palatable to you. There is no accounting for tastes; and, as you probably know, "veritas odium parit!"

Still, you cannot separate a man and his opinions; they are inseparable.

Fancy an individual without an opinion of his own!

Why, he would be a nonent.i.ty--a thing!

Don't talk nonsense.

CHAPTER TEN.

A HARD FIGHT.

Across the wide Atlantic-- It drives me almost frantic, To watch the breakers breaking, and hear their dull, low roar!-- My soul is winging madly; And my eyes are peering sadly, As I span the long, long distance from my home-girt sh.o.r.e!

I was disgusted with America in more ways than one.

Being of a hopeful, castle-building temperament, I had sanguinely thought that I would meet with employment there at once; and, be able to master in some unknown, mysterious way, the great art of money-making, on the very instant that I landed in the New World!

I really imagined it, I think, to be an enchanted place, where every newly-arrived person became magically changed into a sort of Midas on a small scale; transforming everything he touched, if not into gold--the days of California were now over--at all events into Was.h.i.+ngton "eagles," or Mexican silver dollars, or even greenbacks, which were better than nothing, although greasy and not acknowledged at their nominal value.

Upon my word, I really believe that that was my secret opinion concerning America before I actually crossed the Atlantic!

Probably, I would not have told you so had you asked me then; but I think that was my real idea about it. It was to me an Eldorado, where ill-luck was undreamt of; and where I should be able to heap up riches without the slightest out-of-the-way exertion on my part, in an incredibly short s.p.a.ce of time:--riches that would enable me to return home, in the character of a millionaire, in a year or two at the outside, and claim Min's hand from the then-unresisting Mrs Clyde!

Was I not a fool? Pray, say so, if you think it.--_I_ won't mind, bless you! for, I know that there are more such in the world besides myself, eh?

I soon found out my mistake.

Not only was the cost of living excessively high--I had to pay twelve dollars a week for a bedroom in Brooklyn, an adjacent suburb, with "board" of which I did not partake very frequently, through an inherent dislike to bad cookery--but employment of any description was so difficult to be obtained that for every vacant situation advertised in the New York papers there were several hundred applicants, amongst whom an Englishman stood a very poor chance of being selected when competing with native citizens.

Do you know, Transatlantica is about the very worst quarter of the globe for an educated man to go to, who has no scientific attainments, such as a knowledge of chemistry and engineering--which may occasionally stand him in good stead.

For skilled artisans, or those brought up to a regular trade, there are good wages to be had, and constant work; but a "gentleman," or clerk-- unless he intends reversing the whole training of his life, which he will find an extremely difficult thing to do--had far better go and break stones on the highways at home, than think to improve his condition by emigrating to America!

There are some men who can throw off all old a.s.sociations and the habits in which they have been bred from boyhood, but, not one in a thousand-- though I have myself seen an Oxford graduate acting as an hotel tout in Cincinnati and the son of a "Bart, of the British Empire" driving a mud cart in Chicago!--neither of these, either, had been brought down by drinking, that general curse of exiled Englishmen in ill-luck.

I had good introductions; and yet, although I met with great hospitality in being asked out to dinner, I could never get any employment put in my way.

A dinner is a dinner, certainly, and a very good thing in itself--not to be sneezed at, either, in the Empire City, let me tell you; for, there, you can have as neat a repast served, whether in private houses or at the Great Delmonico's of "Fourteenth Street," as you would meet with at one or _two_ haunts I wot of in the Palais Royale. Still, I leave it to yourself, a dinner is but a poor "quid" to him lacking the "quo" of an immediate fortune--is it not?

Matters began to grow serious with me; for, my income having amounted to _nil_ since my landing in the new world, my a.s.sets were gradually diminis.h.i.+ng. I had only a few pounds left; as my expenditure for lodging alone was at the rate of over two guineas a week; and Monsieur Parole d'Honneur's loan, which I looked upon only in the light of trading capital, I had determined not to touch on for personal need.

What should I do?

I went to one of the American gentlemen to whom I had been introduced, and laid my position before him. He advised me, as he had previously advised me, to "look about" me.

I had "looked about me" already for some three months--without anything coming of it; however, I looked about me now again, and?--met Brown of Philadelphia!

"Brown of Philadelphia" was one who is known among our "cousins" as a "live" man. Brown of Philadelphia was an enterprising man; he was more: he was a benevolent man. He had a splendid scheme, he told me, for turning over thousands of dollars at once. He had no wish to merely better himself, however. He was a man with a large heart, and would make my fortune too. It seemed as if Providence had specially interfered to prevent his meeting with a partner until I had answered his advertis.e.m.e.nt! _I_ should be his partner. I need not know anything of the business--_he_ would manage all that. What I should have to do, would be, to take care of all the money that came in--a post for which both he and I thought I was peculiarly fitted. And the scheme?--

Perhaps you will laugh when I tell you. It was selling blacking!

There is nothing to be ashamed of in it, though. Have not Day and Martin made a fortune by it, and a name in all the world? Has not many a proud merchant prince risen to eminence on a more ign.o.ble commodity?

Blacking! There is something n.o.ble in causing the feet of posterity to s.h.i.+ne; and to be the means of testing the standing of a would-be gentleman! Clean boots are an essentiality of society; why should I shrink from the responsibility of helping to produce them?

Well, whether you consider it a lowering trade or not, Brown of Philadelphia suggested our "going into" blacking together. He knew of a place, he said, where he could get it for "next to nothing;" and, as he then pertinently observed, I must be aware that it might be disposed of in New York at more than cent, per cent, profit. So, why should we not embark in it? If we did, Brown of Philadelphia--only he was opposed to betting, on moral principle--was prepared to wager a trifle that we would soon have more "greenbacks" than we should know what to do with!

He had an office already, had my benevolent friend,--"located" in a first-rate part of Broadway. All I should have to do, he explained, would be to put a small sum into the concern--so as to be independent, as it were, and not merely accepting "a big thing" at his hands--and, my fortune was made. If I would contribute, say, five hundred dollars--"a mere song"--we might go joint shares in what would turn out to be a most remarkably go-a-head enterprise; yes, sir!

Strange! But, the amount he mentioned was the exact sum, in American exchange, of my capital--about which, you know, I had previously spoken to him in a friendly and communicative way. It _was_ odd, my just having sufficient, wasn't it?--Yet, how lucky, to be sure! And then, there was no necessity for my being acquainted with the business:--he would manage that. My duty would be to take in money--exactly what I liked! That's what took my fancy so amazingly--"tickled" me, as Artemus Ward would have expressed it--so I repeat it!

Brown of Philadelphia was the soul of honour, as well as distinguished for his smartness and benevolence. He did not want to impose on _me_, bless you!

No; on the contrary, he gave me a reference to a large bank "down town,"

and also to a notorious shoddy celebrity who lived "up" town,--to the former of which I went, making inquiries as to his stability.

Certainly, they knew Mr Brown of Philadelphia. Had a large balance at present in their hands. As far as they were aware--must be reticent in commercial matters, you know--perfectly responsible party. Could I have taken any further precaution? I think not, after this statement.

Quite satisfactory, wasn't it?

I did not go to shoddy character in Fifth Avenue, because it was a horribly long pull there in the street "cars:"--thought bank reference sufficient, wouldn't you?

Perfectly satisfactory, I thought; and told Brown of Philadelphia so at our next meeting, when I lunched with him by appointment.