Mr. Pim Passes By Part 10

(_She throws him a kiss. He catches it gracefully and conveys it to his mouth_.)

BRIAN (_rising, and with a low bow_). Madam, I thank you.

DINAH (_curtsying_). Your servant, Mr. Strange,

OLIVIA (_rising from outside_). Dinah!

DINAH (_jumping up_). Hullo! (_Moving quickly to piano, plays "Mickey."_)

(BRIAN _throws away his cigarette and walks to_ L.)

(OLIVIA _comes in through the window up_ L., _followed by_ GEORGE _and_ LADY MARDEN, _the latter a vigorous young woman of sixty odd, who always looks as if she were beagling_.)

OLIVIA (_coming down to_ DINAH _above piano_). Aunt Julia wants to see the pigs, dear. I wish you'd take her down. I'm rather tired, and your uncle has some business to attend to.

(GEORGE _sits in chair up_ C. _in front of writing-table_.)

LADY MARDEN (_moving down_ C.), I've always said that you don't take enough exercise, Olivia. (_Turning to others_.) Look at me--sixty-five and proud of it. (_Goes up_ R. _and takes up gloves and riding-whip from writing-table_.)

OLIVIA (_taking off her coatee_). Yes, Aunt Julia, you're wonderful.

DINAH. How old would Olivia be if she took exercise?

(OLIVIA, _smiling, but with an admonis.h.i.+ng look at_ DINAH, _comes up_ R.

_and places her coatee on bal.u.s.trade_.)

GEORGE (_from up_ C.). Don't fool about asking silly questions, Dinah.

Your aunt hasn't much time.

BRIAN. May I come, too, Lady Marden?

LADY MARDEN (_coming down centre to_ BRIAN). Well, a little exercise wouldn't do _you_ any harm, Mr. Strange. You're an artist, ain't you?

(DINAH _stops playing_.)

BRIAN. Well, I try to paint.

DINAH (_rises and moves to_ R.C.). He sold a picture last March for----

GEORGE. Yes, yes, never mind that now.

LADY MARDEN. Yes, unhealthy life. (_Going to_ R. _of writing-table and crossing at back, turns to_ DINAH _and_ BRIAN.) Well, come along.

(_She strides out up_ L., _followed by_ DINAH _and_ BRIAN, _who upset_ GEORGE'S _papers on writing-table as they go_. OLIVIA _takes the curtains and workbox from_ C. _cupboard of cabinet and comes down_ L.)

GEORGE (_looking up and seeing_ OLIVIA). Really, Olivia, we've got something more important, more vital to us than curtains, to discuss, now that we _are_ alone at last.

OLIVIA. I wasn't going to discuss them, dear. (_Sits_.)

GEORGE. Of course, I'm always glad to see Aunt Julia in my house, but I wish she hadn't chosen this day of all days to come to lunch.

OLIVIA. It wasn't Aunt Julia's fault. It was really Mr. Pim who chose the wrong day.

GEORGE (_fiercely and rising_). Good heavens, is it true?

OLIVIA. About Jacob Telworthy?

GEORGE. Yon told me he was dead. (_Moving down to_ L. _of_ L.C. _table_.) You always said that he was dead.

OLIVIA. Well, I always thought that he was dead. He was as dead as anybody could be. All the papers said he was dead.

GEORGE (_scornfully_). The papers!(_Crossing up to smoking-table for his pipe_.)

OLIVIA (_as if this would settle it for_ GEORGE). The _Times_ said he was dead. There was a paragraph about him. Apparently even his death was fraudulent.

GEORGE (_coming down_ C.). Yes, yes, I'm not blaming you, Olivia, but what are we going to do, that's the question, what are we going to do? My G.o.d, it's horrible! (_Crossing to fireplace_.) You've never been married to me at all! You don't seem to understand.

OLIVIA. It is a little difficult to realize. You see, it doesn't seem to have made any difference to our happiness.

GEORGE. No, that's what's so terrible. (OLIVIA _looks up surprised_.) I mean--well, of course, we were quite innocent in the matter. (_Sits in arm-chair down_ L.) But, at the same time, nothing can get over the fact that we--we had no right to--to be happy.

OLIVIA. Would you rather we had been miserable?

GEORGE. You're Telworthy's wife, that's what you don't seem to understand. You're Telworthy's wife. You--er--forgive me, Olivia, but it's the horrible truth--you committed bigamy when you married me. (_In horror, going up_ L.) Bigamy! (_Coming round to_ C.)

OLIVIA. It is an ugly word, isn't it?

GEORGE. Yes, but you don't understand. (_Coming quickly down_ C., _sits on stool_ L.C., _facing her_.) Look here, Olivia, old girl, the whole thing is nonsense, eh? It isn't your husband, it's some other Telworthy that this fellow met. That's right, isn't it? Some other shady swindler who turned up on the boat, eh? This sort of thing doesn't happen to people like _us_--committing bigamy and all that. Some other fellow.

OLIVIA (_shaking her head_). I knew all the shady swindlers in Sydney....

They came to dinner.... There were no others called Telworthy.

GEORGE (_rising with gesture of despair_). Well, what are we going to do?

OLIVIA. You sent Mr. Pim away so quickly. He might have told us things.

Telworthy's plans. Where he is now. You hurried him away so quickly.

GEORGE. I've sent a note round to ask him to come back. My one idea at the moment was to get him out of the house--to hush things up. (_Going up to writing-table_.)

OLIVIA. You can't hush up two husbands.

GEORGE (_in despair_). You can't. (_Sits at writing-table_.) Everybody will know. Everybody!

OLIVIA. The children, Aunt Julia, they may as well know now as later. Mr.

Pim must, of course.

GEORGE. I do not propose to discuss my private affairs with Mr. Pim----

OLIVIA. But he's mixed himself up in them rather, hasn't he, and if you're going to ask him questions----