Mr. Pim Passes By Part 9

SCENE.--_The same scene and furniture with addition of a camp table and five camp chairs outside on terrace at back centre. Lunch is over._ LADY MARDEN'S _whip and gloves are on writing-table_.

(ANNE _enters with coffee for five on salver, from double doors_ R., _and is about to place it on table_ L.C. _when_ OLIVIA, _who follows her on, says_:)

OLIVIA. We'll have coffee on the terrace, Anne.

ANNE. Very good, madam. (_Moves up_ L. _and places salver on camp table on terrace_.)

(LADY MARDEN _follows_ OLIVIA _from double doors_ R. ANNE _crosses at back of windows to_ R.)

OLIVIA. We'll have coffee on the terrace, Aunt Julia.

(LADY MARDEN _crosses in front of_ OLIVIA _and up_ L. _through windows and sits_ R. _at back of camp table_. GEORGE _follows_ LADY MARDEN, _meets_ OLIVIA, _and both throw up their arms despairingly._ OLIVIA _crosses up_ L. _through windows and sits to_ L. _of camp table._ DINAH _and_ BRIAN _follow_ GEORGE _on_.)

(ANNE _exits at doors_ R.)

(GEORGE _turns, and seeing_ DINAH _is annoyed, follows_ OLIVIA _up_ L.

_and sits_ L. _of_ LADY MARDEN.)

DINAH (_to_ BRIAN). I know Aunt Julia likes a little music.

(DINAH _comes down to piano and takes up small guitar._ BRIAN _crosses to_ L., _laughing at her. She goes up_ L. _of writing-table, playing and singing, and crosses round back of writing-table and sits to_ R. _of camp table,_ BRIAN _follows her and stands with his back to windows._ GEORGE _and_ LADY MARDEN _are annoyed with_ DINAH'S _playing, and tell her to stop, and she does so._ OLIVIA _pours milk into_ DINAH'S _cup and_ BRIAN _pa.s.ses it to her; she drinks and then commences to play again and is stopped by looks from_ LADY MARDEN _and_ GEORGE.)

LADY MARDEN (_to_ DINAH). No! No! Don't do it!

OLIVIA. Your aunt does not like it, dear.

(GEORGE _and_ OLIVIA _want to be alone, so do_ BRIAN _and_ DINAH. _At last_ BRIAN _murmurs something about a cigarette-case, and catching_ DINAH'S _eye, comes into the room. He leans against the sofa down_ L.

_and waits for her_.)

DINAH (_loudly, as she comes in strumming on guitar_). Have you found it?

BRIAN. Found what?

DINAH (_in her ordinary voice, crossing quickly down to_ BRIAN). That was just for _their_ benefit. I said I'd help you find it. It _is_ your cigarette-case we're looking for, isn't it?

BRIAN (_taking it out_). Yes. Have one?

DINAH. No, thank you, darling. (BRIAN _goes up_ R. _in smoking-table for a match_.) Aunt Juli-ah still thinks it's unladylike.... Have you ever seen her beagling? (_Comes down to piano, puts down instrument_.)

BRIAN. No. Is that very ladylike?

DINAH (_sitting on settee_ R.). Very.... I say, what has happened, do you think?

BRIAN (_moving down to back of table_ R.C.). Everything. I love you, and you love me.

DINAH. Silly! I meant between George and Olivia. Didn't you notice them at lunch?

BRIAN (_sits on table_). I noticed that you seemed to be doing most of the talking. But then I've noticed that before sometimes. Do you think Olivia and your uncle have quarrelled because of _us_?

DINAH. Of course not. George may _think_ he has quarrelled, but I'm quite sure Olivia hasn't. No (DINAH _beckons to_ BRIAN, _who comes and sits above her_), I believe Mr. Pim's at the bottom of it. He's brought some terribly sad news about George's investments. (_Rising and facing_ BRIAN.) The old home will have to be sold up.

BRIAN. Good. Then your uncle won't mind your marrying me.

DINAH (_by table above settee_ R.). Yes, darling, but you must be more dramatic about it than that. "George," you must say, with tears in your eyes, "I cannot pay off the whole of the mortgage for you. I have only two and ninepence; but at least let me take your niece off your hands."

Then George will (_hitting him on the shoulder)_ thump you on the back and say gruffly (_crossing to_ L.), "You're a good fellow, Brian, a d.a.m.n good fellow," and he'll blow his nose very loudly, and say, "Confound this cigar, it won't draw properly."

BRIAN (_rising and crossing to_ DINAH). Dinah, you're a heavenly idiot.

And you've simply got to marry me, uncles or no uncles.

DINAH. Hus.h.!.+ (_She takes his hand and they sit on settee_ L., _hiding from others at back_). It will have to be "uncles," I'm afraid, because, you see, I'm his ward, and I can get sent to Chancery or Coventry or somewhere beastly, if I marry without his consent, Haven't _you_ got anybody who objects to your marrying _me_?

BRIAN. n.o.body, thank Heaven.

DINAH. Well, that's rather disappointing of you. I saw myself fascinating your aged father at the same time that you were fascinating George. I should have done it much better than you. As a George-fascinator you aren't very successful, sweetheart.

BRIAN (_kissing her hand_). What am I like as a Dinah-fascinator?

DINAH. Plus six, darling.

BRIAN. Then I'll stick to that and leave George to Olivia.

DINAH. I expect she'll manage him all right. I have great faith in Olivia. But you'll marry me, anyhow, won't you, Brian?

BRIAN. I will.

DINAH. Even if we have to wait till I'm twenty-one?

BRIAN. Even if we have to wait till you're fifty-one.

DINAH (_holding out her hands to him_). Darling!

BRIAN (_uneasily_). I say, don't do that.

DINAH. Why not?

BRIAN. Well, I promised I wouldn't kiss you.

DINAH. Oh! (_Rising and crossing to_ C., _watching the others at back_).

Well, you might just send me a kiss. You can look the other way as if you didn't know I was here.

BRIAN. Like this?

(_He looks the other way, kisses the tips of his fingers, and flicks it carelessly in her direction. She pretends to catch it, kissing her own hands_.)

DINAH. That was a lovely one. Now here's one coming for you.