Handy Andy Volume Ii Part 7

"Yes, my dear sir," said Egan, "and make the most of it _while_ you have it. In short, I shall owe you an obligation when I go over to St.

Stephen's, for you will have just _aired my seat_ for me--good bye."

They parted with smiles, and drove to their respective homes; but as even doubtful possession is preferable to expectation for the time being, it is certain that Neck-or-Nothing Hall rang with more merriment that night on the reality of the present, than Merryvale did on the hope of the future.

Even O'Grady, as he lay with his wounded arm on the sofa, found more healing in the triumph of the hour than from all the medicaments of the foregoing week, and insisted on going down-stairs and joining the party at supper.

"Gusty, dear," said his wife, "you know the doctor said--"

"Hang the doctor!"

"Your arm, my love."

"I wish you'd leave off pitying my arm, and have some compa.s.sion on my stomach."

"The doctor said--"

"There are oysters in the house; I'll do myself more good by the use of an oyster-knife than all the lancets in the College of Surgeons."

"But your wound, dear?"

"Are they Carlingfords or Poldoodies?"

"So fresh, love."

"So much the better."

"Your wound I mean, dear?"

"Nicely opened."

"Only dressed an hour ago?"

"With some mustard, pepper, and vinegar."

"Indeed, Gusty, if you take my advice--"

"I'd rather have oysters any day."

O'Grady sat up on the sofa as he spoke and requested his wife to say no more about the matter, but put on his cravat. While she was getting it from his wardrobe, his mind wandered from supper to the pension, which he looked upon as secure now that Scatterbrain was returned; and oyster-banks gave place to the Bank of Ireland, which rose in a pleasing image before O'Grady's imagination. The wife now returned with the cravat, still dreading the result of eating to her husband, and her mind occupied wholly with the thought of supper, while O'Grady was wrapt in visions of a pension.

"You won't take it, Gusty, dear," said his wife with all the insinuation of manner she could command.

"Won't I, 'faith?" said O'Grady. "Maybe you think I don't want it?"

"Indeed, I don't, dear."

"Are you mad, woman? Is it taking leave of the few senses you ever had you are?"

"'T won't agree with you."

"Won't it? just wait till I'm tried."

"Well, love, how much do you expect to be allowed?"

"Why I can't expect much just yet--we must begin gently--feel the pulse first; but I should hope, by way of start, that six or seven hundred--"

"Gracious Heaven!" exclaimed his wife, dropping the cravat from her hands.

"What the devil is the woman shouting at?" said O'Grady.

"Six or seven hundred!!!" exclaimed Mrs. O'Grady; "my dear, there's not as much in the house."

"No, nor has not been for many a long day; I know that as well as you,"

said O'Grady; "but I hope we shall get as much for all that."

"My dear, where could you get them?" asked the wife, timidly, who began to think his head was a little light.

"From the treasury, to be sure."

"The treasury, my dear?" said the wife, still at fault; "how could you get oysters from the treasury?"

"Oysters!" exclaimed O'Grady, whose turn it was now to wonder, "who talks of oysters?"

"My dear, I thought you said you'd eat six or seven hundred of oysters!"

"Pooh! pooh! woman; it is of the pension I'm talking--six or seven hundred pounds--pounds--cash--per annum; now I suppose you'll put on my cravat. I think a man may be allowed to eat his supper who expects six hundred a year."

A great many people besides O'Grady order suppers, and dinners too, on the expectation of less than six hundred a year. Perhaps there is no more active agent for sending people into the Insolvent Court than the aforesaid "_expectation_."

O'Grady went down-stairs, and was heartily welcomed by Scatterbrain on his re-appearance from his sick-room; but Mrs. O'Grady suggested that, for fear any excess would send him back there for a longer time, a very moderate indulgence at the table should suffice. She begged the honourable member to back her argument, which he did; and O'Grady promised temperance, but begged the immediate appearance of the oysters, for he experienced that eager desire which delicate health so often prompts for some particular food.

Andy was laying the table at the time, and was ordered to expedite matters as much as possible.

"Yis, ma'am."

"You're sure the oysters are all good, Andy?"

"Sartin, ma'am."

"Because the last oysters you know--"

"Oh, yis, ma'am--were bad, ma'am--bekase they had their mouths all open. I remember, ma'am; but when I'm towld a thing once, I never forget it again; and you towld me when they opened their mouths once they were no good. So you see, ma'am, I'll never bring up bad oysthers again, ma'am."

"Very good, Andy; and you have kept them in a cool place, I hope."

"Faix, they're cowld enough where I put them, ma'am."

"Very well; bring them up at once."

Off went Andy, and returned with all the haste he could with a large dish heaped up with oysters.