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"Ah! I was triumphant--triumphant in my innermost heart. I thought then that all the world must give way to me, because I had taken a double-first. And now--I have given way before all the world. What have I done with all the jewels of my youth? Thrown them before swine!"
"Come, George; you are hardly seven-and-twenty yet."
"No, hardly; and I have no profession, no fortune, no pursuit, and no purpose. I am here, sitting on the broken stone of an old tomb, merely because it is as well for me to be here as elsewhere. I have made myself to be one as to whose whereabouts no man need make inquiry--and no woman. If that black, one-eyed brute, whom I thrashed a-top of the pyramid, had stuck his knife in me, who would have been the worse for it? You, perhaps--for six weeks or so."
"You know there are many would have wept for you."
"I know but one. She would have wept, while it would be ten times better that she should rejoice. Yes, she would weep; for I have marred her happiness as I have marred my own. But who cares for me, of whose care I can be proud? Who is anxious for me, whom I can dare to thank, whom I may dare to love?"
"Do we not love you at Hurst Staple?"
"I do not know. But I know this, that you ought to be ashamed of me.
I think Adela Gauntlet is my friend; that is, if in our pig-headed country a modest girl may love a man who is neither her brother nor her lover."
"I am sure she is," said Arthur; and then there was another pause.
"Do you know," he continued, "I once thought--"
"Thought what?"
"That you were fond of Adela."
"So I am, heartily fond of her."
"But I mean more than that."
"You once thought that I would have married her if I could. That is what you mean."
"Yes," said Wilkinson, blus.h.i.+ng to his eyes. But it did not matter; for no one could see him.
"Well, I will make a clean breast of it, Arthur. Men can talk here, sitting in the desert, who would be as mute as death at home in England. Yes; there was once a moment, once _one_ moment, in which I would have married her--a moment in which I flattered myself that I could forget Caroline Waddington. Ah! if I could tell you how Adela behaved!"
"How did she behave? Tell me--what did she say?" said Arthur, with almost feverish anxiety.
"She bade me remember, that those who dare to love must dare to suffer. She told me that the wounded stag, 'that from the hunter's aim has ta'en a hurt,' must endure to live, 'left and abandoned of his velvet friends.'--And she told me true. I have not all her courage; but I will take a lesson from her, and learn to suffer--quietly, without a word, if that be possible."
"Then you did propose to her?"
"No; hardly that. I cannot tell what I said myself; but 'twas thus she answered me."
"But what do you mean by taking a lesson from her? Has she any such suffering?"
"Nay! You may ask her. I did not."
"But you said so just now; at any rate you left me to infer it. Is there any one whom Adela Gauntlet really loves?"
George Bertram did not answer the question at once. He had plighted his word to her as her friend that he would keep her secret; and then, moreover, that secret had become known to him by mere guesses.
He had no right, by any law, to say it as a fact that Adela Gauntlet was not heart-whole. But still he thought that he would say so. Why should he not do something towards making these two people happy?
"Do you believe that Adela is really in love with any one?" repeated Arthur.
"If I tell you that, will you tell me this--Are you in love with any one--you yourself?"
The young clergyman was again ruby red up to his forehead. He could dare to talk about Adela, but hardly about himself.
"I in love!" he said at last. "You know that I have been obliged to keep out of that kind of thing. Circ.u.mstanced as I have been, I could not marry."
"But that does not keep a man from falling in love."
"Does not it?" said Arthur, rather innocently.
"That has not preserved me--nor, I presume, has it preserved you.
Come, Arthur, be honest; if a man with thirty-nine articles round his neck can be honest. Out with the truth at once. Do you love Adela, or do you not?"
But the truth would not come out so easily. Whether it was the thirty-nine articles, or the natural modesty of the man's disposition, I will not say; but he did not find himself at the moment able to give a downright answer to this downright question.
He would have been well pleased that Bertram should know the whole truth; but the task of telling it went against the grain with him.
"If you do, and do not tell her so," continued Bertram, when he found that he got no immediate reply, "I shall think you--. But no; a man must be his own judge in such matters, and of all men I am the least fit to be a judge of others. But I would that it might be so, for both your sakes."
"Why, you say yourself that she likes some one else."
"I have never said so. I have said nothing like it. There; when you get home, do you yourself ask her whom she loves. But remember this--if it should chance that she should say that it is you, you must be prepared to bear the burden, whatever may be urged to the contrary at the vicarage. And now we will retire to roost in this hole of ours."
Arthur had as yet made no reply to Bertram's question; but as he crept along the base of the pyramid, feeling his steps among the sand and loose stones, he did manage to say a word or two of the truth.
"G.o.d bless you, George. I do love her--very dearly." And then the two cousins understood each other.
It has been said that Alexandria has nothing of an Eastern town but its filth. This cannot at all be said of Cairo. It may be doubted whether Bagdad itself is more absolutely oriental in its appurtenances. When once the Englishman has removed himself five hundred yards from Shepheard's hotel, he begins to feel that he is really in the East. Within that circle, although it contains one of the numerous huge buildings appropriated to the viceroy's own purposes, he is still in Great Britain. The donkey-boys curse in English, instead of Arabic; the men you meet sauntering about, though they do wear red caps, have cheeks as red; and the road is broad and macadamized, and Britannic. But anywhere beyond that circle Lewis might begin to paint.
Cairo is a beautiful old city; so old in the realities of age that it is crumbling into dust on every side. From time to time the houses are patched up, but only patched; and, except on the Britannic soil above alluded to, no new houses are built. It is full of romance, of picturesque oriental wonders, of strange sights, strange noises, and strange smells. When one is well in the town, every little narrow lane, every turn--and the turns are incessant--every mosque and every shop creates fresh surprise. But I cannot allow myself to write a description of Cairo.
How the dervishes there spun and shook, going through their holy exercises with admirable perseverance, that I must tell. This occurred towards the latter end of the winter, when Wilkinson and Bertram had nearly completed their sojourn in Cairo. Not but what the dervishes had roared out their monotonous prayer to Allah, duly every Friday, at 1 P.M., with as much precision as a service in one of your own cathedrals; but our friends had put the thing off, as hardly being of much interest, and at last went there when they had only one Friday left for the performance.
I believe that, as a rule, a Mahomedan hates a Christian: regarding him merely as Christian, he certainly does so. Had any tidings of confirmed success on the part of the rebels in India reached the furthermost parts of the Turkish empire, no Christian life would have been safe there. The horrid outrage perpetrated at Jaffa, and the ma.s.sacre at Jeddah, sufficiently show us what we might have expected.
In Syria no Christian is admitted within a mosque, for his foot and touch are considered to carry pollution.
But in Egypt we have caused ourselves to be better respected: we thrash the Arabs and pay them, and therefore they are very glad to see us anywhere. And even the dervishes welcome us to their most sacred rites, with excellent coffee, and a loan of rush-bottomed chairs. Now, when it is remembered that a Mahomedan never uses a chair, it must be confessed that this is very civil. Moreover, let it be said to their immortal praise, that the dervishes of Cairo never ask for backsheish. They are the only people in the country that do not.
So Bertram and Wilkinson had their coffee with sundry other travelling Britons who were there; and then each, with his chair in his hand went into the dervishes' hall. This was a large, lofty, round room, the roof of which was in the shape of a cupola; on one side, that which pointed towards Mecca, and therefore nearly due east, there was an empty throne, or tribune, in which the head of the college, or dean of the chapter of dervishes, located himself on his haunches. He was a handsome, powerful man, of about forty, with a fine black beard, dressed in a flowing gown, and covered by a flat-topped black cap.
By degrees, and slowly, in came the college of the dervishes, and seated themselves as their dean was seated; but they sat on the floor in a circle, which spread away from the tribune, getting larger and larger in its dimensions as fresh dervishes came in. There was not much attention to regularity in their arrival, for some appeared barely in time for the closing scene.
The commencement was tame enough. Still seated, they shouted out a short prayer to Allah a certain number of times. The number was said to be ninety-nine. But they did not say the whole prayer at once, though it consisted of only three words. They took the first word ninety-nine times; and then the second; and then the third. The only sound to be recognized was that of Allah; but the deep guttural tone in which this was groaned out by all the voices together, made even that anything but a distinct word.
And so this was completed, the circle getting ever larger and larger.
And it was remarked that men came in as dervishes who belonged to various ordinary pursuits and trades; there were soldiers in the circle, and, apparently, common labourers. Indeed, any one may join; though I presume he would do so with some danger were it discovered that he were not a Mahomedan.
Those who specially belonged to the college had peculiar gowns and caps, and herded together on one side of the circle; and it appeared to our friends, that throughout the entertainment they were by far the least enthusiastic of the performers.
When this round of groaning had been completed--and it occupied probably half an hour--a young lad, perhaps of seventeen years, very handsome, and handsomely dressed in a puce-coloured cloak, or rather petticoat, with a purple hat on his head, in shape like an inverted flower-pot, slipped forth from near the tribune into the middle of the circle, and began to twirl. After about five or six minutes, two other younger boys, somewhat similarly dressed, did the same, and twirled also; so that there were three twirling together.