Fall From Grace Part 11

"So that's why I went through an upgrade in the beauty department lately, I was going through 'the change'?"

"Yes. I could tell by looking at you evolve that you were coming into your true self. It's quite interesting how everyone else in school noticed before you did. You caused a major stir in the locker rooms, let me tell you," he says with a huff before tipping the can of soda up to his lips.

"I thought I was going crazy, that there were some weird minerals in the water all of a sudden. I mean how would I ever come to the conclusion that I was turning into a super being?"

"I was really surprised that you had no idea at all. Normally we are told from birth as our parents start to prepare us early in our development. You really had no idea though?"

"Do I look like I had an idea? I guess my Mom must have been a demon right, if my Dad isn't?"

"That's what I've been wondering about. I can't say exactly what your mother was, but what I can tell you is how we procreate. You see, it's actually really difficult for a female demon to conceive with a human. Even if they do get pregnant, typically they just have a human baby, and put them up for adoption or leave them with the other human parent. We're not as emotionally attached to our children as humans are. I mean there are exceptions to every rule, but if you give birth to a human it's just easier to give them up and move on with your life. It's a little hard to explain why mommy looks 17 at her kid's high school graduation." Ash lifts up his elbows and turns his stool to face me, leaning back on his right arm.

"Ya, I guess that could get a little tricky to explain to the PTA." I sip my c.o.ke and think back to my mom and what Ash said before about seeing things in black and white. How her choices couldn't have been easy.

"What I truly don't quite get though was why your Mom didn't take you with her? I mean, we can tell right from the start whether the baby is human or not, but what possessed her to take off without a word and leaving you behind? She had to have known." Ash looks at me with a mixture of confusion and, I suspect, pity. I mean, knowing my mom left is one thing. Knowing she left me the way I am, on my own, with a human parent means she cared even less then I thought.

"Hmmm, just another pathetic tidbit of my mother issues to ponder. Great," I say exhaling a big breath.

"No actually what I meant was that perhaps something happened to her? Maybe she had to leave for a specific reason - one that has nothing to do with you and nothing to do with not wanting you. I mean, we do have a different relations.h.i.+p with our parents then humans. They teach us about ourselves, help us to a.s.similate into society just enough so that we keep the existence of ourselves a secret, but we also have a law about adding any new demon births to 'The Register', and believe me Stella, I checked, you are definitely not listed."

"'The Register?'" I say clearly confused.

"Sorry, it's sort of like our version of a demon pentagon. They keep a census of all earth bound supernaturals, monitor threats, and get rid of demons who break our laws. Like going on killing sprees, causing ma.s.s human hysteria, you know, mayhem sorts of stuff. So when a bouncing baby bloodsucker arrives, you have to register it. It's a pretty big no-no when you don't," Ash casually explained as if he was talking about baseball stats.

"How did you find out that I'm not listed? I have to say that I'm glad you know this, but it's a little creepy that you were stalking me so thoroughly," I say with a half hearted laugh.

"I have a friend who works there, they did a little search for me. No stalker tendencies on my record to date, but never say never." He smiles over at me as he places his hand on mine and leads me over to the couches. Ash sits down all relaxed but I am as tense as a clothes line. Leaning over my knees, with my head in my hands, my brain is spinning. I feel pathetic but I have to ask. Before I realize it's leaving my mouth I say it. "Do they know where my mother is?"

Ash leans up and nudges my shoulder with his. "I don't know. She may have changed her name, covered her tracks. She may have given your Dad an alias. Wherever she is, I couldn't find a word about her and I doubt she wants to be found."

Silence falls down on us as I sit and process. Ash doesn't probe or bug me. I can feel the heat coming through his s.h.i.+rt as it warms my shoulder. It comforts me greatly, soothing my nerves.

"So what about your family? You said your mom died in childbirth - was she human as well?" I ask feeling his arm stiffen but still he answers. Better lay all our cards on the table. It's that kind of day. "Actually both my parents are demons but my mom wasn't strong enough to have me I guess. My father doesn't talk about it and I can only go on the brief answers to the questions I had once I was old enough to understand and wonder why she died. It isn't super easy to conceive even in a demon/demon relations.h.i.+p, but for some reason she did and I guess her body wasn't prepared for the stress," he admits.

"But you still see your Dad right?"

"Rarely, but yes. I see your relations.h.i.+p with your Dad and compare it with what my father was to me. It was nothing at all like what you have. You should be very grateful to have that." He leans back into the couch with a thump. I think that's where he wants that line of questioning to stop. Respectfully I switch gears. Thumping back next to him I ask, "So, ok, my next query has to be what cool things can I do?"

"Well that's where it gets really fuzzy. I really can't tell," he says with a sigh and runs his fingers through his hair, leaving his arm up and over the back of the couch. "I mean, normally after a few minutes or seconds really, you can tell what kind of demon you see, It's written all over their face. Not literally of corse," he says with a smirk. "But it's like a bell goes off in your head with the answer. You just know, you can feel it. With you, all I get is a lot of question marks. It's like I can feel your power but there is something blocking the transmission. My only explanation is that perhaps you haven't quite completed the change yet. It's pretty weird though. You have a strange pull that at first I thought was because I liked you," he says nudging my elbow with his, " but then I saw the way Beth looked at you at the diner, and even Ed. They were enchanted by your presence - literally."

"Beth freaked me out. Gave me the w.i.l.l.i.e.s," I say shuddering a bit.

Ash laughed at this. "Yes, I guess she would. I'm just used to her. She's a reader demon. She can jump into your mind, hang out for a bit, see what you have seen. It's unnerving at first until you learn to block her. She can be a little... invasive."

"So Beth and Ed. Any more demon pals you want to intro me to?"

"I think I'd like to keep you to myself for a little while longer," he said with a wink.

Feeling myself flush crimson I go back to my abilities, or lack there of. "So then I'm a weirdo. The whacked out question mark demon. Great. I bet I'm going to be really awesome and cool." I say with a fake smile.

"I have no doubt you will Stella."

Chapter 20.

A Little Bit Bad The next few weeks found us inseparable, cutsey to the point that sometimes even I hated myself, but I couldn't help it. I opened my eyes to this whole new world and I wanted to experience everything at full throttle. A feverish sensation enveloped me which caused erratic actions and popped my hormones in overdrive. Gabs was super annoyed, but to be honest, I didn't care. I was letting the inner demon take the steering wheel and it finally felt amazing to be me. To let go with abandon was something I NEVER did before.

Gabs didn't waste time in telling me off. She wasn't used to this imposter. I couldn't really blame her. I have always been her little sidekick, the robin to her batman; she definitely wasn't used to me wearing tight anythings and it probably set her universe into free fall. I get that she loves me but I think she felt I was changing for a guy and hates the chicks who do that. I mean I guess I can see her point in retrospect but whatev's.

My academic life took a sad turn, but I had loads of time to figure out the cosine of x right? School just didn't hold the same authority it used to. I mean, if I'm going to be around for hundreds of years, why not ditch a few cla.s.ses? There will be plenty of time to conjugate verbs and master molecular genetics. Well maybe not that last one.

I gotta tell you how good it felt though; being bad. It was like the floodgates just opened for me and every fibre of my soul embraced this dark self that was exciting and careless. I desperately wanted to test myself. Do something dangerous and volatile like jump off a building, step in front of a bus, provoke the evil overlord at the 7-11. You know, be C-R-A-Z-Y, see what I could do. I didn't of corse, my annoying human side still won out, and Ash was able to put a little sense in me explaining we actually feel pain so that nixed the greyhound experiment. But I was nearing the point that I wasn't going to be able to hold out much longer.

Ash explained this as very normal, considering I have never 'released' myself before now. Growing up, he had such a different upbringing. Tackling his power, playing with it, watching it build into something really amazing.

I felt this dangerous vibe shooting through me and it was becoming really hard to control. Dad was starting to be less than pumped by my s.h.i.+ft as well. New boyfriend, overly witty (aka b.i.t.c.hy) daughter = every parents' nightmare. I felt his frustration, but again, I just didn't care.

Things felt like they were falling into the right spot for once in my life and I was savouring it. There was, however, one strange thing that really frustrated the h.e.l.l out of me. I mean Ash has been a demon for over a century right? And one would a.s.sume he has been 'around the block' a few times so to speak but for some reason with me he seemed to be holding back. Sure we had some great make out sessions in the last few weeks, but he always seemed to be on guard and never really fully lost any control with me, not like that first night anyways. As soon as things got steamy, he pulled back, saying we should take it slow, watch ourselves. I mean what kind of demon says that?! I didn't want to take it slow anymore, I was ready, and he was always on the outskirts, watching me, making sure I didn't go too far. Truth be told, I was starting to feel rejected.

I knew he wanted me, I could tell in more ways then one, but something was bothering him that I just couldn't put my finger on. We were becoming close on a personal and mental level, attached at the hip, but never really going past second base on a physical level and I think I was gearing up for that home run.

When I got to school that Friday, yes I remember the exact day of the week it was, I had a killer idea, I would kidnap Gabs. We'd skip cla.s.s, have some fun, and I would show her that I was still me and things could be great again, like old times. We'd do something wild and crazy like you see in all those teen movies that make this generation look so cool and uninhibited, but in actuality, doesn't ever happen. If they are any indication of what we are supposed to be like, I am in the wrong dimension sister.

It seemed like the perfect way to end the week. I place the emphasis on SEEMED.

As I pulled into the school parking lot, I could see Gabs was already here, hovering by the front doors. Actually she was more like impatiently pacing the sidewalk, wearing it down to a fine powder, so I should have known that I was in for a special treat this morning. I should have stayed in the car and locked the doors. Scratch that, perhaps I should have stayed in bed today. When will I ever learn?

The day started well. The weather was spectacular, so I took a chance and wore a dark denim mini, silver flip flops and a white mens dress s.h.i.+rt with the cuffs rolled up. I left my hair down in loose waves as I ran out of time trying on too many skirts hoping that they didn't look like something Francine would wear. Hey, I may have a new confidence, but I don't do s.l.u.tty.

As I approached Gabs I could feel her piercing stare and almost considered a quick leap into the side hedge towards a fast getaway. Hindsight is always 20/20.

"Hiya Gabs. You look really pretty today." Flattery always works.

"Don't sweet talk me lady. We need to talk." Yikes.

"'bout what?" Ignorance is always the key to successful confrontation avoidance.

"About this! This YOU that is not YOU at all!" She says as she waves her hands up and down my body clearly not missing the low cut s.h.i.+rt and high cut skirt. "When did you go all Lindsay Lohan on me? What happened to my friend who loves sweatpants and trucker caps!?"

"Dude I have no idea what you're talking about." Yup still playing dumb.

"You know EXACTLY what I am talking about; it isn't really about the clothes to be honest. Let's face it, you can pull it off and I guess it's about frigin' time you started to dress better, but I've taken lots of notes these past few weeks and I'm starting to really worry that you've been invaded by a body s.n.a.t.c.her. I mean, skipping cla.s.s, that D in Bio, and I even saw Kim at The Grind the other day in a hot mess because you had called in sick to work, leaving her short staffed, and believe me I knew you weren't sick. I had to go along with whatever she claimed left you on your death bed as I had no idea what fake excuse you came out with to bail on her like that. Stella this is so unlike you and it's starting to p.i.s.s me off!"

"Jeez, would you lighten up Gabs? You're being a real pill today. Are you pms-ing?" I whisper that last part as I pull her off to the side of the doors. I could see the steam billowing from her ears. Yeesh maybe she was?

"Lighten up? You're telling ME to lighten up? Stella, you have some nerve you know that?! I know exactly what's happened to you and it has Asher Grey written all over it. You claim to be all independent woman, hear me roar, but ever since he started sticking his tongue down your throat you've turned into a crazy with absolutely no mind of her own! He's given me the w.i.l.l.i.e.s ever since day one and I know for a fact that there is something off about him, I just know it. It doesn't help that he's turned you into some sort of airhead wh.o.r.e!"

Ok, gloves are off. Wh.o.r.e? Wh.o.r.e!!! I am still a virgin for s.h.i.+ts sake. More than I can say for Gabs. She just crossed the line.

"Look Gabs, I don't consider someone who wears a skirt with flip flops a floozy, but look I suppose it takes one to know one right? Next time you might want to check your own 's.e.x' list before you start labelling others what some have been calling you for years." My hands were beginning to shake as I clutched them into fists around my messenger bag straps. A strong breeze began to whip around us fuelling my anger towards this girl I thought was my best friend. Sure I was changing a little, but I know she was jealous of me finding a guy, and gaining some attention for once and it was not fair. At all.

"I can FEEL your jealousy Gabs. It's eating you up. Seething itself around your perfect little body and it kills you that geeky little Stella finally trumped you. It isn't a good look on you Gabs. Believe me."

"Me jealous of you?! Oh boy are you a piece of work! I'm actually the only one looking out for you in case you haven't noticed. You're acting like a spoiled little brat and turning into a huge b.i.t.c.h! I don't even know who you are anymore. You walk around like you own the place, you're royally eff-ing up school, and now that you have a guy, you act like you're queen s.h.i.+t and better then the rest of us which, by the by, p.i.s.ses me off Stella!"

"Oh so now I'M the one acting like a little b.i.t.c.h. Well you'd think it would have rubbed off on me a lot sooner seeing the company I've been keeping. I guess I learned it from the best and let me tell you that maybe if you'd have paid a little more attention these past years on someone other then yourself you would have realized that the world actually doesn't revolve around you and what you want. I know, STOP THE PRESS, GABBY CASTILLO FINDS OUT HER s.h.i.+T ACTUALLY DOES STINK!"

We've started to gain an audience as I belt out that last retort and instantly I feel like an a.s.shole, but there are some things you can't take back and yup that was one of them. Searching for a bit more privacy, I grab Gabby by the arm and pull her around the corner of the building but I can already sense the emotions and excitement around us in our male counterpart's antic.i.p.ation of some sort of cat fight and they just follow us over.

She breaks my grasp in anger but before she starts round two I need to stop it before we jump to the brink of no return. She's rubbing her arm where I held it and looking at me like I'm in insect she's about to squish.

"Look Gabs, I didn't mean that, I'm just going through something right now and I guess I'm not handling it very well. I... "

She snaps up her hand in protest. "Whatever Stella, I'm done with this. You can do whatever the frig you want, but don't say I didn't warn you when McBroody drops you on your a.s.s and you have isolated yourself into a b.i.t.c.h sinkhole. Let me tell you that it's a hard place to climb your way out of and I won't be there to lend a hand." And that was that. She pushed past me in a flurry and stalked back around the corner and into the main doors. Suddenly I'm overwhelmed by the frustrated male vibes crowding my senses.

"Suck it fellas. Show's over." I shout at the lingering audience as I try to shake off their dirty emotions. Sometimes this spidey sense sucks.

As the crowd disperses, I feel drained. Abandoned. Angry. p.i.s.sed off actually but really confused about what just happened. We have always had a little healthy banter going between us, but nothing compared to that. I plop down onto the gra.s.s which isn't that easy considering the length of my skirt, and lean back against the hard brick wall willing myself to calm down. I close my eyes and take some deep breaths. How can life get so great and so s.h.i.+tty all at once? Is that karma rearing its timely head at me? I wish I could pound the c.r.a.p out of it.

I hear the bell come and go, but still I remain. I'm not sure of my days' plan but higher education isn't on the docket anymore. After a few minutes the light behind my eyelids goes from brilliant to dark. Squinting one eye open towards the sky. I see a dark figure looking down on me, blocking my nice sunny patch. I can't see his expression, due to the sun's position; he appears like a black shadow looming over me. I know it's HIM though as my skin has begun its familiar thrum of electricity when he's near.

"You look like c.r.a.p," he said.

"Gee thanks. Isn't it your job to say something encouraging and not a statement that makes me feel even more c.r.a.ppy?" I say as he effortlessly plops down next to me.

"I'm a demon. We don't have human suck up filters. Sorry. Would it help if I said you were s.e.xy c.r.a.ppy?"

I laugh a little. "Ya, no. Thanks anyways." I pull my book bag strap over my head and place it beside me so I could lean my head against Ash's shoulder. He leans into me and I'm instantly comforted. Or maybe other emotions are just taking over the annoying human instincts to care.

"Well I only caught the tail end of Gabs storming off but I could tell from her angst ridden look that you didn't get off too easily. Although from what I did hear, you threw a few nice punches."

"Huh. This is not how I planned for today to roll." I sit up, closing my eyes into my palms as I rub the dull ache that has formed at my temples.

"And how exactly were you planning on spending the day?"

I look over at him and his imploring eyes. He's drinking me in and I can tell my outfit choice did not go unnoticed. My skirts hiked up a little too far and he probably has a nice view down my s.h.i.+rt as it's bunched up from my hasty plunk to the ground. I suppose all might not be lost today.

Chapter 21.

Dad's Going to Lose his Sh*t I'm starting to sweat as I sit in the waiting room anxiously peering at the clock as my impending appointment time is drawing near. All around me are images of previous 'tat' jobs meant to inspire and impress you. Even though it was my idea, I think deep down I'm a big chicken for pain.

Tattoo parlours have really come a long way though. Far from the olden days of drunken sailors stumbling in around midnight to plaster some chicks name in a heart on their biceps. With hopes to impress, and more often succeed, at getting into their pants.

It feels almost like a dentists' office. The room is small but very neat and above all, clean as a whistle; I guess there are health codes to adhere to these days. The brazen pictures that adorn the walls are the only indication that this is definitely not the place for a root ca.n.a.l. I walk over and scan the photos once more looking for that boost of confidence, I mean this is no biggie right? There are so many people who have tattoos; all ages, all sizes, and quite a few folks who look like they were the ones truly living those 'wild' times back in the day. I especially like the one of a guy with a long greyed moustache, bald head and what looks like a charcoal business suit and white s.h.i.+rt he's ripped open to reveal a giant superman 's'on his chest. That takes some b.a.l.l.s man.

As I plunk myself back down, clasp my hands between my knees, and nervously bob my legs up and down it dawns on me that I'm having a mid-teen crisis today. The flipping out on Gabs, running out to get some body art, wanting desperately to get Ash's clothes off; it all adds up to crazy town. Well maybe not the clothes off one. I mean, perhaps this is normal teenage angst stuff, but to me, it feels like I have about three thousand hormones ripping me apart. I chose to inflict pain, thinking it would at least be something to focus on; something to direct my attention to. Is this what cutting feels like? I do NOT get it, nor could I ever do it, but perhaps I understand it a bit more now.

I'm overwhelmed with these new emotions as I crave this bad a.s.s life style of excess and no responsibility but in the same breath, there is still a little voice in my head cautioning me to stop, behave, smarten the eff up. It's confusing and starting to annoy me.

I still don't know what possessed me to scream at Gabs like that this morning. I mean, she WAS being a b.i.t.c.h but perhaps there was a little bit of truth to what she said. I can't just walk up and tell her the real story either. Oh hey Gabs, guess what? I'm some sort of supernatural demon that can bite your hand off and kick really hard. Call me nutty, but I just don't think she'd understand. What scares me more than telling her is the fact that she could quite possibly write me off forever and isn't something I can deal with right now. Well, that is if she hasn't already. My head is starting to throb.

I shake these thoughts to relieve pressure and land back to the here and now of this austere waiting room. I gaze unseeing out the big picture window in the front of the room. I can still hear the high pitched buzz of the electric needle sticking it to the current client but no screaming so that's a good sign right?

As I shuffle my feet and squirm in my seat to find a more comfortable position, the door chime rings and Ash steps in with a paper bag of treats and a coffee tray. As if I could eat right now?

"h.e.l.lo my little vixen! Decide on the perfect tramp stamp yet?" He grins as he takes a big swig of his medium black and flops down beside me handing me the tray. I wave him away and continue to bounce my knees.

"Actually I'm thinking I'd go with a giant fire breathing dragon that covers my entire back and up to my neck. Go subtle you know?" I say with a forced grin. His presence calms me down a notch though and I almost forget about the impending pain. Almost.

"Touche Stells," he says as he pulls out a double chocolate donut from the greasy bag and finishes it in two bites. "You know if you're looking to impress me, you 'could' just skip over to another bad a.s.s dimension and spar with an Orcas demon, that would be pretty cool," he mumbles licking his fingers.

"I think I'll start small, then perhaps work up to summoning the devil or eating a beating heart by next week, that's more my style anyways, thanks."

He grins, offering me what's left in the bag.

"Donut for courage?" he asks.

I wave off the food, taking a deep breath to steady my shaking hands.

"Who needs courage? this is child's play," I say completely unbelievably. And just as I say it, Jake the 'tat guy' comes walking through the door to usher me into his lair of body art.

"Yup child's play for someone as tough as me." I mutter, more for me then for Ash's benefit. As I get up and follow Jake through the back door, my knees are shaking out all the courage that got me here.

"Knock 'em dead devil woman." He shouts after me as I hear him laughing from the waiting room. I asked him to wait outside, preferring to do this alone in case I do cry like a little b.i.t.c.h. No ones needs to see that spectacle.

"It's pretty awesome right? I mean, I won't hate it for at least 10 years or so, you think?"

"Well it'll probably be gone in 3 as our bodies constantly heal and will eventually be erased completely," he says while studying my new friend.

"What?! Why the h.e.l.l didn't you tell me that before! You're telling me that I went through an hour or pain only to have it disappear?!" I look at him incredulously.

"I kinda wanted to see if you'd do it. Seemed like a good way to spend a morning." He grins but keeps his eyes trained on my hip. "It sure beat the physics quiz I was supposed to take."

Fl.u.s.tered with this whole healing c.r.a.p, I turn back to look at Frank in the full length mirror in Jakes office. Instantly he calms me down and makes me smile. A grand trait in a sidekick I might add. I've named him Frank. My co-conspirator, bff, partner in crime. I started to call him that cause he looks like a Frank and I like the idea of a wee conniver that I can plot to.

"Looks very much like a Frank, or maybe a Lou?" Ash queries but still remains locked on my upper right hip. I'm not sure if he's staring at my new tattoo anymore or the fact that it sits quite low on my hip in order to avoid regret come bikini season. I guess I didn't really need to worry about that either; I could have gotten it on my forehead.

"Definitely a Frank. Frank is more of a mobster name, a cool bad a.s.s who'd watch my back in a take down," I confirm.