Our American Cousin Part 16

Flo I am going to crown you Capt. of the Archers of Trenchard Manor.

Asa [Aside to Florence.] I've got the s.h.i.+p.

Flo No; have you?

Sir E Come, ladies and gentlemen, take from me. [Takes gla.s.ses, Starts on seeing me in livery.] Who are these strange faces?

Coyle [In his ear.] Bailiffs, Sir Edward.

Sir E Bailiffs! Florence I am lost.

[Florence supports her father. At the same moment Dundreary enters with letter and money. Georgina appears at dairy door as Dundreary comes down, L. Asa cuts string of bottle, cork hits Dundreary. General commotion as drop descends.]

ACT III.

Scene 1--Dairy set as before in Act 2d, Scene 2.

[Asa discovered on bench, R. C., whittling stick. Mary busy with milk pans in dairy.]

Asa Miss Mary, I wish you'd leave off those everlasting dairy fixings, and come and take a hand of chat along with me.

Mary What, and leave my work? Why, when you first came here, you thought I could not be too industrious.

Asa Well, I think so yet, Miss Mary, but I've got a heap to say to you, and I never can talk while you're moving about so spry among them pans, pails and cheeses. First you raise one hand and then the other, and well, it takes the gumption right our of me.

Mary [Brings sewing down.] Well, then, I'll sit here--[sits on bench with Asa, vis-a-vis.] Well now, will that do?

Asa Well, no, Miss Mary, that won't do, neither; them eyes of yourn takes my breath away.

Mary What will I do, then?

Asa Well, I don't know, Miss Mary, but, darn me, if you could do anything that wasn't so tarnal neat and handsome, that a fellow would want to keep on doing nothing else all the time.

Mary Well, then, I'll go away. [Rises.]

Asa [Stopping her.] No, don't do that, Miss Mary, for then I'll be left in total darkness. [She sits.] Somehow I feel kinder lost, if I haven't got you to talk to. Now that I've got the lat.i.tude and longitude of all them big folks, found out the length of every lady's foot, and the soft spot on everybody's head, they can't teach me nothing; but here, [Whittling.] here I come to school.

Mary Then throw away that stick, and put away your knife, like a good boy. [Throws away stick up stage.] I must cure you of that dreadful trick of whittling.

Asa Oh, if you only knew how it helps me to keep my eyes off you, Miss Mary.

Mary But you needn't keep your eyes off me.

Asa I'm afraid I must, my eyes are awful tale-tellers, and they might be saying something you wouldn't like to hear, and that might make you mad, and then you'd shut up school, and send me home feeling about as small as a tadpole with his tail bobbed off.

Mary Don't be alarmed, I don't think I will listen to any tales that your eyes may tell unless they're tales I like and ought to hear.

Asa If I thought they'd tell any other, Miss Mary, I pluck them right out and throw them in the first turnip patch I came to.

Mary And now tell me more about your home in America. Do you know I've listened to your stories until I'm half a backwoodsman's wife already?

Asa [Aside.] Wouldn't I like to make her a whole one.

Mary Yes, I can shut my eyes and almost fancy I see your home in the backwoods. There are your two sisters running about in their sunbonnets.

Asa Debby and Nan? Yes!

Mary Then I can see the smoke curling from the chimney, then men and boys working in the fields.

Asa Yes.

Mary The girls milking the cows, and everybody so busy.

Asa Yes.

Mary And then at night, home come your four big brothers from the hunt laden with game, tired and foot sore, and covered with snow.

Asa That's so.

Mary Then how we la.s.ses bustle about to prepare supper. The fire blazes on the hearth, while your good old mother cooks the slapjacks.

Asa [Getting very excited.] Yes.

Mary And then after supper the lads and la.s.ses go to a corn husking. The demijohn of old peach brandy is brought out and everything is so nice.

Asa I shall faint in about five minutes, Miss Mary you're a darned sight too good for this country. You ought to make tracks.

Mary Make what?

Asa Make tracks, pack up, and emigrate to the roaring old state of Vermont, and live 'long with mother. She'd make you so comfortable, and there would be sister Debby and Nab, and well, I reckon I'd be there, too.

Mary Oh! I'm afraid if I were there your mother would find the poor English girl a sad inc.u.mbrance.

Asa Oh, she ain't proud, not a mite, besides they've all seen Britishers afore.

Mary I suppose you allude to my cousin, Edward Trenchard?

Asa Well, he wan't the only one, there was the old Squire, Mark Trenchard.

Mary [Starting Aside.] My grandfather!

Asa Oh! he was a fine old hoss, as game as a bison bull, and as gray as a c.o.o.n in the fall; you see he was kinder mad with his folks here, so he came over to America to look after the original branch of the family, that's our branch. We're older than the Trenchard's on this side of the water. Yes we've got the start of the heap.