Live From New York Part 28

The first cast of Sat.u.r.day Night Live had lacked one thing that all subsequent groups would enjoy: access to the work of predecessors. When the show was new, it had no models and barely a template. They made it up as they went along, and many improvisations born of desperation became traditions and tenets. Members of succeeding casts were always haunted by the first - its taped work recycled perpetually in reruns - and put to the challenge of trying to equal its impact. In the 1980s, 1990s, and 2000s, the show that had been designed for the TV generation was pa.s.sed along to the SNL generation - talented kids whose earliest memories of watching the show were among their earliest memories of watching, or maybe even doing, anything. Now the Sat.u.r.day Night Live creative team, before the cameras and behind them, included people younger than the show itself, video age babies who'd never known a TV universe without it.

JIMMY FALLON:.

I'm the same age as the show. When I first saw it, I was like seven or eight years old. My parents used to tape it and show me and my sister only the "clean" sketches. The others were too risque for us, so we couldn't watch the whole thing. They were good censors, because we thought it was a treat just to see anything funny, especially Mr. Bill. I don't know why, but "Wild and Crazy Guys" was our favorite. It was risque, but we didn't realize as kids what things like birth control devices or tight bulges meant. We were just little kids. We used to perform the sketches at parties, and relatives would be like, "You let your kids say this?" But I had no idea what it meant.

RACHEL DRATCH, Cast Member: I've watched the show since its beginning. I was really young. I'd watch it every Sat.u.r.day and have friends over and make them stay up to watch the show. It was like a ritual of mine. Gilda Radner was my favorite. Looking back, the thing I loved about her was just - I don't know, you never saw a "woman comedian." There was no separation, no gender thing. Being in Chicago and hearing "women aren't funny" and all that stuff, I liked her the most.

CHERI OTERI, Cast Member: I grew up on the old shows. I remember my mom would let us stay up, because it became such a treat. It was a time when you should have gone to bed but we were up, and I remember to this day my favorites are Bill Murray and Gilda Radner, because I laughed and I related to their characters. I loved their characters. I would recognize when someone else was funny even if they weren't necessarily my type of humor.

When Bill Murray hosted here that time, it was amazing. This writer that I write with, we got into a huge fight. It was a brawl. I mean, screaming and everything. We were screaming so hard at each other. And when you walk out after a fight like that, you're shaking, because you can't believe it got that heated and violent. So I walk out after it's over and there's Bill Murray standing there. He heard the whole thing! And he's like my idol. And this was the first time something like that ever happened. He just looked at me. I felt so ashamed. And the next day I had to sit next to him at rehearsal and I go, "I'm really sorry you had to hear that yesterday." And he said, "Cheri, I felt like I was home."

MOLLY SHANNON, Cast Member: I didn't watch the show as much as other people. I loved Gilda Radner and Bill Murray, but I didn't think about being on Sat.u.r.day Night Live until I was in college. That wasn't always my dream from my whole childhood. It just started in college that I knew I wanted to be on that show.

At NYU, I was a drama major, and I did all of these serious acting cla.s.ses doing "sense memory," and my G.o.d, soooo serious, with all these drama students and ugh! And musical thea-tuh. But then we did this revue show, and Adam Sandler was in it, this little comedy sketch show - and it was the best. We made fun of the teachers with little comedy sketches. And I remember it was the most fun. And I thought, "Oh, I like this." We improvised and made stuff up. It felt so free. I loved the improvisation, just using your instincts. And I was like, "Hey, I like this comedy thing." And then I met some guy in L.A. named Rob Muir who I did a show with, who told me, "Comedy is king." And I said, "Is comedy king? Comedy's king? Okay." And he said I should think about comedy, and then I really got into it.

The first time I did my Mary Katherine Gallagher character was a long time ago at NYU, in a revue show there. I didn't really base her on anyone. It's just bits and pieces, parts of myself but an exaggerated version of myself, but then there's a lot just made up. I did Mary Katherine Gallagher in that show.

Mary Katherine took a lot of falls. I would bruise myself and cut myself, but I never injured my back or anything. I started to get afraid. At first I didn't think anything of it, it was like punk rock, I actually liked getting bruised. It felt wild and committed and I enjoyed it. But being on TV, so many people would come up to me and go, "Do you get hurt? Do you get hurt? You must get hurt." And after thousands of people asked me, I started to get scared. So then I started to wear padding.

STEVE HIGGINS:.

One of the nice things about Tom Davis coming back is that he's such a breath of fresh air. He says, "Oh, you guys are doing a great job." But any of the other writers who leave and come back, it always seems like they're saying, "My high school drama department was better. When I was here it was way better. Now look; they're doing Ten Little Indians. Ugh, that's a horrible play." Because most of the people here, this was their first TV job, so they form so many opinions off it, and it's always that high school thing: "My football team was better."

CHRIS KATTAN, Cast Member: When I first saw SNL as a kid, I didn't think it was funny. When I first saw the Belus.h.i.+ stuff, I didn't think it was funny. I was watching Fawlty Towers and Monty Python at that age, and I was hooked on old movies like Road to Rio and Abbott and Costello. I was addicted to that stuff. I really got into Sat.u.r.day Night Live when Eddie Murphy came on. He was so relaxed and had so much control and power over the audience and everything that was going on. If there were no laughs he was still so powerful, so relaxed and comfortable. He didn't get nervous, he didn't act like, "Oh my G.o.d, this isn't working," and rush through the lines. One time, I don't know what sketch it was, he made some mistake and the audience laughed, and he went, "Shut up!" I was like, "Wow, that was great." It's so great if you can be that relaxed and that confident. Then by the time I got to high school, I wanted to be on Sat.u.r.day Night Live. I didn't know if I was good enough, but I thought, "I actually feel like I might be able to make it on that show, at least I might be able to audition." I just had a gut feeling that I could do it.

Right before I got here, when they had Quentin Tarantino and Tom Arnold as hosts, it wasn't that funny, and I was like, "Oh G.o.d, what's happening?" and I was like, "I'm glad I didn't get the show." I actually auditioned with Will and everybody else and I didn't get it, and then months later they asked me to come on out next week all of a sudden. The first couple of years, at least for me, you can't help but take stuff so seriously about getting your sketches in and "is this going to work?" and you stress out so much. I would get so stressed out and so worried about sketches it was just a big waste of energy. But you don't learn that until you kind of let it all go, and then you just relax and you're a better performer.

TRACY MORGAN, Cast Member: I didn't watch the show after Eddie Murphy left. That's how my community is. We stopped watching basically after Eddie left. He was like the blackest thing on TV then. Now everybody has a sitcom. So I don't know if I even want to do prime time after this. But I love doing Sat.u.r.day Night Live. It's late-night. It's live, baby. It's like Jackie Gleason. Once you do this show, you've made TV immortality. I'm going to be on TV the rest of my life. My grandkids will be able to see this. They'll have the marathon on cable on Thanksgiving, the Sat.u.r.day Night Live marathon, and Daddy will be on it.

PAULA PELL:.

We have a lot of two-person sketches as opposed to big ensembles of early days. I think it's because of the way we write. We go into little offices with one or two people and someone will have an idea for just one character. I've written some pieces with lots of people in them, but it's hard sometimes if the piece is about a certain character. You have only five minutes to do the sketch and now you have somebody that has to be the center of it. Which is why I think we have a lot of talk shows and a lot of presentational things where it's like, "Hi, I'm My Character."

HORATIO SANZ, Cast Member: I used to watch it when I was eight. In Chicago. My brothers used to watch it. They shared a room and I'd sneak in and watch it with them. I've kind of always in the back of my mind wanted to do it. It had been a dream of mine since I was little. Then in high school you kind of think maybe it's a crazy dream. At one point I toyed with the idea of being in the CIA, but I think you have to join the army first, unless you're really smart. Then my brother started acting in college and I'd go see his plays and it kind of made it more like something I could see. I thought, "Oh, it's more tangible." So I started doing that. I quit college when I started doing improv and I really figured that's what I wanted to do. I was at Colombia College in Chicago. I went to film and television school. And I figure that too is another thing you have to be really good at. If you want to work in the crew, you have to be really good. And I wasn't.

I was in Second City. Everybody would hang out at night, drinking and doing bits. That made it hard to wake up early and make cla.s.s. Fourteen of us auditioned that year for SNL. I've auditioned all my life for things, and even when I've gotten stuff, I didn't really give it my all. Like I auditioned for the Roseanne sketch show and In Living Color. And I never really gave it my all. I kind of just f.u.c.ked around. I guess the reason was I didn't want those other shows, I wanted to wait for this show. I just prepared for this audition really well - more than anything I've ever done. I figured this is my shot and I didn't want it to be like one of those situations where you mess it up and you're like, "Oh well, there will be something else. If I don't get the show at least I can say I did the best I could." They wanted to fly me out the day before; I wanted them to fly me out the week before so I could get acclimated with the city and practice my audition piece. So I went early, put myself in a different hotel, and I just ran my piece, over and over.

I was told by people that I knew on the show, "They don't laugh at auditions. So don't be thrown by it. Keep doing your job." So then when I did hear laughter, that helped me out. I'm thinking, "Oh, this is going better than it normally does." And then I kind of felt really good about the audition. Even if I didn't get the show, I would have felt good about it. And then you go into these meetings, like, "Oh, it's almost done. You have to meet Lorne." So then you're just waiting. And then you meet Lorne and he goes, "You did good. We liked you. I think we'd like to have you on the show." But he doesn't say you're hired. He goes, "Okay, you did good. We're going to bring you out. We're going to bring you out to New York." You kind of want to hear that you're hired. But he doesn't tell you. So I said, "Should I tell my parents I have to move to New York?" And he goes, "Yeah. Tell them you have to move to New York - but don't tell them you'll be on the show." I guess what that means is that having the job somehow doesn't mean you're going to be around in the show.

MOLLY SHANNON:.

After NYU drama school, I moved to Los Angeles. I was auditioning for TV pilots and some commercials and stuff but couldn't really catch a break. There were a lot of young girls my age who were getting pilots, but I wasn't. So I thought, "I'm just going to focus on writing my own show and developing my own characters and improvising." A couple years before I got hired I sent my tape to them, when they hired Ellen Cleghorn, but they didn't respond to my tape, so I just went back and worked on my show and kept writing and developing more characters. This guy Rob Muir and I put together a two-person show called the Rob and Molly Show, and we did that for a couple of years in Los Angeles.

My agent called me and he was like, "Marci Klein is coming to your show - put it together!" I did a show just for her. When I auditioned for Sat.u.r.day Night Live, the person who was having the auditions for Lorne told me, "Whatever you do, please don't do that Mary Katherine Gallagher character. You'll never get hired. Lorne won't like that, he'll think it's disgusting and dirty." Yeah, she said it was such a disgusting, dirty little character that Lorne wouldn't like it and "whatever you do, don't do that!" For some reason, she just didn't think it was right. I don't want to say her name. But I'll never forget that lady.

TRACY MORGAN:.

You know when I first saw Lorne Michaels? I was working at Yankee Stadium, before I got into show business. It's where I met my wife fourteen years ago. I used to see Lorne Michaels go in Gate 4 every day. I was selling T-s.h.i.+rts and all that. I was a vendor at Yankee Stadium. Now look where I'm at. It was so ironic that I met Lorne Michaels like that. And now years later, he's my boss and I'm working on his show. I didn't know him. I was a kid from the ghetto, trying to make a dollar out of fifteen cents.

HORATIO SANZ:.

One prevailing frustration is kind of like not knowing where you'll be the same time next year. But I guess a lot of show business is like that. Another reason is sometimes you start thinking you deserve something. You can fall into a situation where you think, "That sucks, I got screwed." But there are so many other factors involved in the show. You have to not get too high with the good and not too low with the bad - to kind of be rational about it. Because whether the host likes something could affect whether it's on the show. Ultimately it's not our show. Lorne's the producer. It's his show. He'll be here for as long as he wants. Some stay longer than others, but it's not our show. It's a shared thing. You have to take those frustrations. Things usually swing around. Like if you have a good week, you'll have a better one next week.

CHRIS KATTAN:.

My parents are Zen Buddhists, but that's pretty much the least crazy religion, it's not even a religion really. I had a pretty normal childhood; my parents divorced when I was two and then I lived with my mother and stepfather. My mother left my dad for another man, who was also at the Zen Center thing, but they were friends with people like Leonard Cohen and things like that. We moved to a place called Mount Baldy that was in a mountain, a very secluded area. I lived there from like age four to twelve and I think I went a little crazy up there. I think I really did, because there was nothing to do. I mean, you're in a mountain, and I guess kids should be around other kids. Like at age eight, nine, somewhere around there, they're supposed to be around other kids. And I was not. I mean, except for school. I was a shy kid and I didn't do very many sports and I used to have crushes on somebody every week. I started getting obsessed with other people a little bit - just their personalities. I'd do a lot of observing, but observing while talking with them and stuff like that. I used to get crushes on women like once every three months, a different one. I would never, ever kiss them or anything, because I was not that guy in school, but I would follow them around. That obsession helped me create. It's almost like I started creating for that person - to get in their good graces, in a weird way. I don't know what I'll do when I get married.

TINA FEY:.

The seventies and the twenty-first century are just so different. There's no drugs and there's no s.e.x at the show now. I would have been terrified if I was here back in the old days.

MAYA RUDOLPH, Cast Member: We're certainly a much cleaner, healthier generation than past generations. Everybody goes to the gym now - except for me. People are eating right and taking care of themselves and not smoking and not doing drugs. I'm being very general, but it's definitely a reflection of the time and the culture we're living in. To me, it's certainly boring compared to the Sat.u.r.day Night Live of yore. We always make jokes about "I would have died if I'd been here in the '70s. I just wouldn't have made it." And then I also sometimes wish for those days, because I wish I was around when everybody was sleeping with each other. It just sounds like a lot more fun.

CHERI OTERI:.

I think some people in the cast have fun crushes on other people, but nothing serious. I guess we're kind of boring - no romances, no drugs. I had an audition once with somebody who used to work here. He's very, very big in the business now. And as soon as I went in for the audition, he went, "Hey, you guys still doing c.o.ke over at SNL?" Because back when he was here, he was doing it. What are we doing, for crying out loud? Oh yeah. Thinking up characters.

Believe me, we're not catered to here. You go to L.A., you walk into offices for a meeting or something and they ask, "Would you like a Snapple?" Here we have our refrigerators locked. They lock our refrigerators or they cut back on our beverage consumption. And a lot of us just wait until they have to make popcorn for Lorne and then we all go in like scavengers and eat the popcorn.

KEN AYMONG, Supervising Producer: Actually it was probably me - not some network executive - who gave the order to cut down on the food consumption. There's no question about it: I always look at the financial perspective of the show. I want it to go on forever. I look at the show from a variety of perspectives, and budgetary is certainly one of them. And every so often you sit down and look at it - like, how are you spending your money? It had to do with dinners. Where it became an issue was where I went to the writers and said, "One of the nights has to go away where the entire writing staff is being fed." Or something along those lines. "One of them has to go, and you have to make a choice." And it turned out to be Wednesday. So I'm going to plead guilty to that.

WARREN LITTLEFIELD:.

Literally, there was one a.n.a.lysis where somebody said, "You know, villages could survive for quite some time on the weekly food budget for this show." Just insane amounts of stuff. We'd say, "Well, maybe you don't need that after-show party," and they'd go, "We can't do the show if we can't have the party." What everyone goes through that week - I think part of the richness of the experience that everyone feels they are doing something so great, so special, so wonderful, that bonds everybody together, is those after-hour parties.

But the food budget was a problem. Okay? Contrast this to d.i.c.k Wolf on Law and Order. In order to secure a renewal of Law and Order, d.i.c.k Wolf finally came in and said to me, "We no longer have soda cans on the set." And I go, "Who gives a s.h.i.+t?" And d.i.c.k says, "No, no, you have to understand. We've been through every budget item, and a can of soda is more expensive than the half-gallon jugs of soda. Now a gla.s.s of Diet c.o.ke is poured from the jug by the gla.s.s because it's cheaper than cans of soda. That's how aggressive we've been in order to make this new deal to renew Law and Order to continue on NBC."

That was the kind of rigorous financial battle that had gone on for a prime-time a.s.set. Now we had this a.s.set in SNL, but the dollars were spiraling out of control and we were losing money on it.

CHRIS KATTAN:.

This is a really healthy cast. There are no drug problems. Maybe some people occasionally smoke pot, but there's no heavy drug use, and no heavy drinkers either. When I came here, I heard a lot of Chris Farley stories and stuff like that. And you're like, "Wow, really?" But now there's not too much unhealthiness. Everyone's really healthy. I mean, we all have our neuroses, obviously, or we wouldn't be here, and we wouldn't have characters that are so crazy. That's where our neurosis pops out most likely. I wonder - in the old days, you know, did they perform high? I'm sure I've heard that Belus.h.i.+ was all c.o.ked-up when he did this or that - you know, blah, blah, blah. But I just wouldn't be able to function. And I would not want, twenty years from now, to look back and go, "G.o.d, I was so c.o.ked-up doing Monkey Boy, I forgot what it was like." I'm glad I've done everything sober.

JIMMY FALLON:.

I'm twenty-seven and I look thirty. Because I don't sleep anymore. I feel like I'm getting older fast. That's one thing they don't tell you about the job. You hear stories from other cast members, like, "Hey man, good luck. Hang in there, 'cause this place will kill you. One time I got so angry that I threw a phone out the window." And I'm thinking, I'd have to be mad at the phone company or the phone or something to throw a phone out the window. I'm on the seventeenth floor. Why would I throw anything out the window? I think I'm more humble than that. I'm like, "At least I have a phone!" What made anyone that angry that they got that mad?

JANEANE GAROFALO, Cast Member: The show is so good now, and the cast is so strong, I'm a.s.suming somebody has come in and done an exorcism of some kind.

ANDY BRECKMAN:.

Reruns of the show are syndicated. And what happens is, every time a show is run, you get a little less money. The first time it's rerun, you get I guess close to half your salary - a nice check. And then the second time it's rerun, you get a little less and a little less, and now it's on Comedy Central so often that what me and other writers get is - is just insane. What we get in the mail are piles of checks for seven cents. Just piles of checks. And by the time you write your account number on the back of it and sign each one, your hand hurts. It's an ordeal. And that's what my career at SNL is down to now - cramps in the hands and seven-cent checks.

JAMES DOWNEY:.

One thing that has definitely changed - and this smells like the network to me - is that in the early years of Sat.u.r.day Night Live, the show would very admirably use its clout when booking music acts. It was like, "We're doing very well, we don't need to book a music act that's going to bring in huge numbers." So we would have some obscure, relatively obscure, or at least interesting choice. Like Sun Ra was on once. Nowadays the choice of the music seems, to me at least, entirely about getting kids to watch or earning a big rating. I think they've had like the Backstreet Boys on two or three times. And in the old days, that's the kind of thing that would have prompted a full-scale staff revolt. As far as the hosts - I have to admit there have been some in recent years whose names I did not recognize. I just didn't know who they were.

JOHN ZONARS, Music Coordinator: I think the musical philosophy has always been to try to balance established, very famous, and well-known acts like the Rolling Stones with a sort of cutting-edge, not necessarily breaking act, but an act that is sort of avant-garde. The idea of having an avant-garde act is always important I think to Lorne. And essentially no matter who tells you what about the different bookers that were in place and the bookers that are in place now, it's Lorne who books the show.

LORNE MICHAELS:.

We're at a place generationally where you can do Britney Spears, where enough people are baby boomers who have kids. And you can put an eighteen-year-old host on, and it will hold the viewers and actually increase the audience.

I would know enough to book Eminem, but I wouldn't presume to pick the song he would sing. Whereas in 1975, I would have been, "What do you mean, you're not doing" this or that song, you know. I think you have to step back and find your role.

ALEC BALDWIN:.

I asked Lorne once, "Is there any way the host can very innocently try to influence who the musical guest is?" And Lorne just looked at me very bemused and said, "What did you have in mind?" And I said, "What about someone who's a great singer of standards - how about Rosemary Clooney?" And I thought Lorne was going to swallow his tongue. And then he explained to me the basic rule that governs the musical guest selection: The cost of bringing the musical guest to do the show is often shared by the record company, because it's very expensive to bring them and the crew and all their technical equipment to New York and NBC. And very often it's an artist who is promoting current product, and since it's a promotional tool, the label shares that cost.

JOHN ZONARS:.

When we have a musical act perform, the network has evidence that proves that the ratings drop off, and frankly it took me a long time to accept that, because in my world, everyone is worried about the music. We only watched the show when we were kids because we thought the musical act was cool. But the network started telling Lorne that the ratings were dropping off during the musical act and that we should only do one song and that the song should be after "Update." And while they may have a point - I can see how Middle America doesn't care about music, they just want to see the Cheerleaders do their skit - I think it inherently screws up the rhythm of the show.

Considering the gazillions they've earned at the box office - we're talking mythic money - Mike Myers and Eddie Murphy are possibly more revered by the new breed of Not Ready for Prime Time Players than are Chevy and Gilda and Dan and John. Of course, a good many flop films have been based on SNL skits or have featured former SNL cast members. But the show is obviously still seen as a springboard into Hollywood, and key cast members have no shortage of scripts submitted by eager producers anxious to cash in.

WILL FERRELL:.

I think there's a perception that there's like this instantaneous thing that happens, whether it's movie offers or whatever. But it's all very gradual, and even after being on the show for five years you still feel tenuous about your existence. People go, "What a great stepping-stone," but we've all been happy just to have a job. It's like, I mean, initially while you're here, you're just - I mean, there was a part of me that could have quit after the very first time I was on the show. Really. It was like, "Wow, I did it, I was on an episode of Sat.u.r.day Night Live," and I almost wanted to keep it pristine.

JIMMY FALLON:.

I'm not reading anything cool. I'm not reading any scripts that I enjoy. Everyone wants me to do a goofball comedy where it's like high concept - I get like robot feet or something. It's ridiculous like that. I could be a millionaire, yeah, easily, but I'd rather have peace of mind than a paycheck. I could drive myself crazy just thinking about it. My new move is I just might try dramatic parts until I find the right comedy or until I get off the show. You know - keep learning with really good directors and learn how to act and then - then I'll just be unstoppable when I'm off the show, because I know I can do that too.

ANDY BRECKMAN:.

You can't deny the show is a launching pad unlike any other that I can think of. It's a farm club. It has an amazing batting average. It's like a shot on the old Tonight Show, which was so prestigious because it led to so many other things.

MOLLY SHANNON:.

Lorne produced Superstar, my movie about Mary Katherine Gallagher. Those movies are very cheap to make. They're low-budget, cheap comedies. It maybe cost $14 million and it made $30 million in domestic box office, and then it makes a lot in video, because we have a lot of kids who watch it over and over and over again, and they memorize the lines - little girls and stuff like that. So Superstar was a very profitable little venture for Paramount Pictures. One of those low-budget cheapies.

I do have another movie in development at Paramount. Lorne will be involved in that too.

CHRIS KATTAN:.

When I first got on the read-through table, it was very quiet during my sketch, they didn't really laugh at all, and I thought, "G.o.d, this is terrible." And then Lorne put the sketch in, it made it in, and it was like the second sketch of the night. So I was really excited and people were just - you know, a featured player has never had their first sketch on in their first week or whatever. So I was very excited that I had.

It was flattering when Lorne said, "You know, you're like the new Mike Myers to me." I was like, "Oh wow." He meant that in a sense of, "You're going to take care of yourself and do your own stuff." And you can see when you watch the old shows that Mike Myers wasn't there throughout other people's sketches. It was more like, here's the Sprockets and here's "Wayne's World" and here's his "Coffee Talk," and that was his stuff. So it's a great way to always be on your toes, and you know, it's good training to only rely on yourself.

JANEANE GAROFALO:.

The general att.i.tude over there is that with the Tina Fey regime and the Steve Higgins regime, things started turning around. I think the prevailing att.i.tude had been that women just aren't quite as funny.

MOLLY SHANNON:.

First of all, there aren't that many slots for girls. There was me, Ana, and Cheri. So the girls that get there are tough girls, you know. Those are strong women, I would say. We all got along well. I think that either way you just sort of have to take care of yourself. It's not a man-woman thing. They're not going to put something on because it's a girl sketch, they're going to put it on because it's funny. Maybe before that, women had different experiences than I did, but my experience is they're going to put it on if it's funny, not because you're a girl, that's just silly. You're just in compet.i.tion with yourself.

DARRELL HAMMOND:.

I had no idea that people could be so tired and miserable - because of so much pressure - and yet still be good and still be funny.

JACK HANDEY, Writer: Even today I'll have dreams where it's like late Tuesday night and I don't have an idea for the show. And then Lorne comes into the dream and he's wearing my pants.

DARRELL HAMMOND:.

When I came here Lorne told me, "We don't go on the air because the show's ready, we go on because it's eleven-thirty." Here, you're going to be asked to be at your best when you feel your worst. If you're hoa.r.s.e, have the flu, didn't have time to prepare, didn't sleep well last night, feel depressed - too bad. It's eleven-thirty and it's live, so you've got to change your mental state. Sometimes, by the time you go on, you're so tired you don't even remember why you thought something was ever funny in the first place.

CHERI OTERI:.

You get in here and you start doubting yourself. Each week you're auditioning for a show you already got. Each week you're proving yourself. You're starting over week to week. It made me very emotional and unstable. When I did Just Shoot Me, Thursday came around and this feeling came over me, this really great peaceful feeling, because I thought, "Oh my G.o.d, no matter what, I'm going to be on the show. I'm not going to get cut."

Here's the thing I didn't know about SNL: I knew that you could write, but I didn't know that you pretty much have to write if you want to be in the show. There were shows I got cut out of completely! My dad came up from Nashville when we had Garth Brooks, and I was completely cut out of the show.

It was in my third year on the show that I finally stopped being devastated and crying about it. Julia Sweeney said that she had my dressing room, and she told me, "G.o.d, how I cried in that room." And it's just the way the show works. But there's no show like it. The good part is that you get to be something different every week. And you get to be seen in front of millions of people. And then I thought, what am I going to do after this? What's going to be as exciting as this? I'll feel good about not having the disappointments, though. I've gotten better at that. Because I was pretty much known as someone who didn't take it very good.

CHRIS KATTAN:.

Cheri Oteri and I had one thing in common back when she was on the show. We were really left to write for ourselves. You know, it was pretty much up to us. We could never really a.s.sume some writer would take care of us. There are some performers that could a.s.sume that. But Cheri and I are more specific, I think. And we had our stock characters, so it was a little difficult for us, and I guess it was a little rough for Cheri. This place can be very unfair, and I think it was a little unfair to her sometimes - like it was up to her every week to come up with something or she's not on the show. Which is a real b.u.mmer, and that's happened to me a lot. So I'm like, "Oh G.o.d, I guess I've got to come up with a new character for this week," because I am one of the people that can't a.s.sume that a writer will take care of me unless that person takes a chance.

TINA FEY:.

Certain words chill the audience regardless of context, "rape" being one of them. There's a piece that Adam McKay wrote for Rachel Dratch to do in "Update" that was so funny to all of us, it was about some guys who had written a book about how rape is natural. It was just part of the caveman mentality that lives within all of us and it's part of nature. And Rachel did this "Update" feature as herself talking about how she agreed with the book and how she loved to rape dudes and graphically described these rapes that she had done on men and got into how she was going to rape the two male authors of the book. And Rachel is, you know, pint-sized and adorable - but the audience, even though it was her saying those things, they just could not, did not, go with her on that.

JIMMY FALLON:.

I never complain about anything. I could care less. The only complaint I have, which I hope it never gets to this point, is I never want to get out there because I'm me and the piece is in front of me and it's like, "We need to put Jimmy in the show." Because they do that sometimes. Like, "We've got to put Molly in the show." I never want to be that guy. I don't want to do c.r.a.p. I don't want people seeing me do a bad piece. If it doesn't work, then cut it. You have to think of what's going to work and is everyone happy. I'm one of the guys who's more for the show than for me.

CHERI OTERI:.

I talked to Laraine Newman about stress. She talked about how are you going to deal with the pressures because there's so much pressure here. And I was a mess my first three years. I was very emotional. I cried a lot, and it didn't all just have to do with the show. I felt very lonely for some reason. I went to work and then I went home, I went to work and then I went home. Maybe that was my fault, but I don't want to do much outside of work. I don't know why.

I think I don't love New York. I'm from Philadelphia, I'm an East Coast person and I fit in peoplewise here, but I don't know, it's sad here. I feel like I'm always in a building. And I have that bipolar thing too, and I'm claustrophobic, so I always feel like just closed in. You don't see daylight very much, and my office doesn't have a window. You can get an office with a window, but then you have to share with somebody. It was really difficult. It was very, very emotional. But then Laraine gave me good advice. She said, "You know, Cheri, back then therapy wasn't what it is today. Drugs were taken to deal with the pressure, but we were so young. And you didn't think you were abusing it and you didn't think you were taking it for the pressure. You were just partying. But when you party to the point you're emaciated, that's not good." They partied hard back then. And she said, "I can't imagine how you deal with the pressure." And I told her I wasn't dealing with it well for three years. There was no escape, so I was like crying all the time. I would go to bed in disappointment - so much was so very, very emotional. And then I realized it, "I need help with this." And then - I started taking drugs. No, I'm kidding!

DARRELL HAMMOND:.

Sometimes they don't give me the a.s.signment until Thursday or Friday, and there are times I can't get the voice by Sat.u.r.day. You can't aspire to perfection with so little time. You've just got to hope that you have enough training and preparation so that when you do throw some stuff, like when I did Richard Dreyfuss a few years ago, I had done enough voices like his to pick him up fairly quickly, but that doesn't always happen. I've done some c.r.a.ppy impressions, but usually when they're not good Lorne will pull them.

In its earliest days, the show's famous "home base" was occupied by a more eclectic array - Raquel Welch, Desi Arnaz, O. J. Simpson, Hugh Hefner, Cicely Tyson, Ralph Nader, Norman Lear, Anthony Perkins, and Miskel Spillman, a little old lady who won an "Anyone Can Host" contest. But still today there are surprises - political and sports figures one might not expect take their turn in the show's one-of-a-kind spotlight, or at least make a cameo appearance. Like Robert De Niro popping up to gripe about the way he was impersonated on the show, or Janet Reno busting through a fake wall to make essentially the same complaint.

The best hosts - Steve Martin, Tom Hanks, Christopher Walken, Alec Baldwin, John Goodman - are invited back repeatedly. The worst are, properly enough, dissed and trashed behind their backs once they've gone home.

ELLEN DEGENERES, Host: I can honestly say hosting was probably one of the highlights of my life so far. It was so much fun. I'd never even been to the show, so I didn't even understand the speed of it. When you're watching at home, you don't realize they had to get out of that outfit and into another outfit just during the commercial. So as soon as the camera goes off you're just pulled and people are ripping your clothes off and putting on a different wig and a different outfit. That was another thing to get over too, because I'm the most modest person in the world. So to have people ripping my clothes off and stepping one leg up while someone's putting a wig on and you're half-naked in front of these people - that was a bold move to me.

MARCI KLEIN:.

In terms of desirable hosts, we of course always want to get Tom Cruise. I'm always trying for him. Then there are the ones that the writers want, but I don't know how to explain to them that the network might not understand. Like Harvey Keitel, one of my, I thought, really good bookings. But we had to fight for Harvey. To me it's important to have funny shows so that people hear that the shows are funny and then you'll get ratings. It's a longer way to getting a rating, but then there are times where you do a Britney Spears because you know it's going to work. And it gets a big rating and she was really good at it.

I show Lorne the list, but it never gets circulated. No one sees it but him. I'll talk to Jim Downey sometimes. We would have meetings - me, Lorne, Jim. We have meetings now and it's me, Lorne, Steve; it's not that I'm excluding anybody, but too many opinions get clouded. I know what they want, I know what Lorne wants, I know what the network wants, I know what I want, I know what the viewer wants. My job is to present the best of what I can. You know, hopefully, I don't want to spend three weeks on one person. I want to say, "Let's make an offer." Cuba Gooding Jr. is a good example of somebody where I went and I saw Jerry Maguire and I came back and I said to Lorne, "I know no one knows who this guy is, but I'm telling you he is going to be a big star from this."