Religious Education in the Family Part 13

Be present at our table, Lord, Be here and everywhere adored; These mercies bless and grant that we May feast in Paradise with thee.

One might use the first three of the following lines for breakfast and the last three at another meal:

For the new morning with its light, For rest and shelter of the night, We thank the heavenly Father.

For rest and food, for love and friends, For everything his goodness sends, We thank the heavenly Father.[26]

or

When early in the morning the birds lift up their songs, We bring our praise to Jesus to whom all praise belongs.

One especially needs to guard against the purely dietetic grace, the one that only asks that the deity will aid digestion, as that form so often heard, "Bless these mercies to our use."[27]

Should we say grace on all occasions of meals? What shall we do at the social dinner in the home? The answer depends on the purpose of the grace. Is it not that in our own group we may have the consciousness of the presence of G.o.d? When the meal is that of our own group with a friend or two, we bring the friends into the group and the act of family wors.h.i.+p is maintained. Usually this is the case. So it will be when the group is entirely at one in this desire: the asking of grace will be perfectly natural. But when the group is a large one, when the sense of family unity is lost, or when the observance would seem unnatural, it is better to omit it. Grace in large gatherings often seems an uncovering of the sacred aspects of the home life.

2. _Bedtime prayers._--What of children's bedtime prayers? Many can remember them. To many the most natural, helpful time for formal periods of prayer is in the quiet of the bedroom just before retiring. But there is a grave danger in establis.h.i.+ng a regular custom of bedside prayers for children, a danger manifest in the very form of certain of these prayers, as

Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord my soul to keep.

It is as though the child were saying, "The day is ended during which I have been able to take care of myself, the hours of helpless sleep begin, and I ask G.o.d to take care of me through the terrors of the night." For some children, at least, the night has been made terrible by that thought; they have been led to feel that the day was safe and beautiful, but that the night was so dangerous and fearful that only the great G.o.d could keep them through it, and it was an open question whether their prayer for that keeping would be heard.

One must avoid also the notion that such prayers are part of a price paid, a system of daily taxation in return for which heaven furnishes us police protection.

The best plan seems to be to encourage children to pray, to establish in them the habit of closing the day with quiet, grateful thoughts, to watch especially that the prayers learned in early life do not distort the child's thoughts of G.o.d, and to make the evening prayer an opportunity for the child to express his desires to G.o.d his Father and Friend. Having done this, as the children grow up it is best to leave them free to pray when and where they will. One may properly encourage the evening, private prayer; but the child ought to have the feeling that it is not obligatory, that it must grow out of his desire to talk with G.o.d, and, above all, that it has no special connection with the hour and act of retiring for sleep but rather, so far as time is concerned, with the closing of the day. Mothers must see far beyond the charm of the picture formed by the little white-robed figure at her knee. There is no hour so rich in possibilities for this growing life.

It is one of the great opportunities to guide its consciousness of G.o.d.[28]

3. _General family prayers._--It is true that, in many homes, under modern conditions of business, it is almost impossible for the family to be united at the hour when wors.h.i.+p used to be customary, following breakfast. However, that is not the only hour available. In many respects it is a poor one for the purpose of social wors.h.i.+p; it lacks the sense of leisure. But there are few families where the members do not all gather for the evening meal. It is not difficult to plan at its close for ten minutes in which all shall remain. Without leaving the table it is possible to spend a short time in united, social wors.h.i.+p.

Or, by establis.h.i.+ng the custom and steadily following it, it is possible to leave the table and in less than ten minutes find ample time for wors.h.i.+p in another room.

Really everything depends at first on how much we desire to have family wors.h.i.+p, whether we see its beauty and value in the knitting of home ties, in the elevation of the family spirit, and in the quickening of the religious ideas. We find time to eat simply because we must; when the necessity of the spirit is upon us we shall find time also to wors.h.i.+p and to pray.

Next to the will to make time comes the question of method. First, determine to be simple, natural, and informal. A stilted exercise soon becomes a burden and a source of pain to all. In whatever you do, seek to make it possible for all to have a share by seeing that every thought is expressed within the intelligence of even the younger members, that is, of those who desire to have a share. This does not mean descending to "baby-talk." Just read the Twenty-third Psalm; that is not baby talk, but a child of seven can understand what is meant up to the measure of his experience; the language is essentially simple though the ideas are sublime.

Secondly, insure brevity. For that part of wors.h.i.+p in which all are expected regularly to unite, ten minutes should be ample. Some excellent programs will not take more than half this time. Family wors.h.i.+p is not a diminutive facsimile of church wors.h.i.+p. Doubtless the experiment has failed in many families because the father has attempted to preach to a congregation which could not escape. Keep in mind the thought that this is to be a high moment in each day in which every member will have an equal share.

Thirdly, plan for the largest possible amount of common partic.i.p.ation.

This is to be the expression of the unity of the family life. Children enjoy doing things co-operatively and in concert.

Fourthly, treat the occasion naturally in relation to other affairs.

Proceed to the wors.h.i.+p without formal notice, without change of voice, and without apology to visitors. Take this for granted. At the close move on into other duties without the sense of coming back into the world. You have not been out of it; you have only recognized the eternal life and love everywhere in it.

4. _Suggestions of plans._--There are given below seven outlines of plans of wors.h.i.+p. They are plans which have been in use and have been tried for years. Their only merit is simplicity and practicability; but they are at least worthy of trial. There is no special significance in the arrangement of the days and this may be changed in any way desirable. Further, all plans should be elastic; there will come special days, such as festivals and birthdays, when the program should be varied. For example, on a birthday the child whose anniversary then occurs should have the privilege of making the choice of recitation or reading or of determining the order of all the parts of this brief period of wors.h.i.+p.

MONDAY

1. A short psalm repeated in concert.

2. A brief, informal pet.i.tion by father or mother.

3. The Lord's Prayer, in which all join.

Before attempting even this simple plan, prepare for it by first selecting several suitable psalms. The following should be included: the 1st, 19th, 23d, 24th, 100th, 117th, 121st, and a part of the 103d. You would do well to memorize one of these yourself, so as to be able to lead without reading from the book. Next, think over with some care the things for which you may pray, the aspirations which your children can share with you. Few things are more difficult than this, so to pray that all can make the prayer their own. Let it also be a prayer of love and joy, not a craven begging off from punishments, nor a cowardly plea for protection and provision. We can pray over all these things with grat.i.tude and with confidence toward the G.o.d of love. Do not try to preach in your prayers. Many prayers have been ruined by preaching, just as some preaching has been spoiled by praying to the people. Usually four or five sentences will do for the one day. Better a single thought simply expressed than the most brilliant attempt to inform the Almighty on all the events of the world that day.

A prayer in which all can join is always desirable. The Lord's Prayer never wearies us nor grows old. Children enter into it with some new meaning every day; it covers all our great, common, daily needs.

TUESDAY

1. A few favorite memory verses repeated by all (from either the Bible or other literature).

2. Read a very brief pa.s.sage from the Bible.

3. Prayer, ending with the Lord's Prayer.

Many excellent selections will be found in Dr. Dole's book mentioned at the end of this chapter. Encourage children, however, to make their selections from the poems and pa.s.sages they already know.

The pa.s.sage of the Bible selected to be read should be one which first of all incites to wors.h.i.+p, and should be chosen for its inspiration and literary beauty. A few lines from the great chapters of Isaiah (e.g., chaps. 35 and 55), from the Psalms (e.g., Pss. 61, 65, 145), from the Sermon on the Mount, from 1 Cor., chap.

13, from the parables of Jesus, will be suitable.

The closing prayer may be extemporaneous or may be read from one of the books of prayers. Many of the prayers in the Episcopal Prayer Book are especially beautiful and quite suitable. Of course in families of the Episcopal church the collect for the day would be the right prayer to use. It is sometimes necessary to use prayers prepared beforehand; some persons never acquire the ability to pray aloud, even in their own families. But halting sentences that are your own, that your children recognize as yours, may mean more to them than the finest flowing phrases from a book. Use the prayers from the book, not as a subst.i.tute, but as an addition.

WEDNESDAY

1. A good poem from general literature.

2. Prayer.

There are so many good collections of the great and inspiring poems that one hesitates to recommend any collection. Remember that a poem may be religious and imbued with the spirit of wors.h.i.+p, helpful to the purpose of this occasion, even though it contains no allusions to Scripture and makes no direct references to religious belief. "A House by the Side of the Road"[29] is thoroughly human, popular, and could not even be accused of being a cla.s.sic; but it has a helpful motive and is likely to lead the will toward the life of service and brotherhood. Some would prefer to read a part of one of the great hymns.

THURSDAY

1. A brief reading or recitation from the New Testament.

2. A few moments' conversation on the reading.

3. A very brief prayer followed by a song.

The only apparent difficulty here is in starting the conversation.

Do not ask formal questions; rather put them something like this: "I wonder whether people would do just the same on our street today." Make the conversation as general as possible; do not slight, nor scoff at, the contribution of even the least in the group.

FRIDAY

1. A few verses in concert.