These Dangerous Girls Placed Me Into Jeopardy Volume 1 Chapter 31

Volume 1, Chapter 31: Had a date with my girlfriend already

TL: flarewk

"Ara, you're rather fast, I still thought that you'll drag all the way till 9 o'clock before coming, if not won't even come at all, hmm?"

"I won't waste my time on transportation."

If I had to say it, one of the greatest waste of time in a person's life would be 'transportation' already. Just merely for the purpose of reaching a certain destination, you would need to spend quite some time of your remaining not much lifespan, there's no substantive meaning onto it at all. If people were to be able to move about instantaneously, or perhaps having a dimensional door kind-of tool, it would be able to hugely save time in order to spend on other stuff instead.

"Huhuhu~ Cheng Jun's that kind of person who's unable to properly enjoy the joy of travels, huu."

"Yeah yeah, I love to neet around at home even more instead."

I flipped a white eye and sat on the seat opposite of Ji Lian Bing.

A series of ruckus occurred in the surroundings.

Just by tilting my head aside, I'm able to hear 'Ohh ohhhh, so the person that the beautiful girl's waiting for had finally arrived, huh!', 'Is he her boyfriend? Such a beautiful person matching up to him is too much of a waste already! It's exactly like a flower being stuck onto a pile of dung!' 'He actually dared to let a girl wait for him, he's not even the least bit knightly at all.' 'Still displaying a sour faced look, how did this sort of person get that kind of girlfriend in the first place? The chances of that are even lower than winning the lottery, right?'

These reactions were similar to those at the canteen's, and as expected, no matter where Ji Lian Bing appears, she would always be the spotlight center of attraction to everyone around her.

The discussion had completely stood by Ji Lian Bing's side, and it had that sort of expected reaction, as a bishoujo would normally be way more popular than this kind of a loser male like me.

But the attendant walked over to us rather calmly, and used a composed tone onto asking us.

"Welcome, may I have your order please?"

"A cup of warm milk."

"...........Understood."

The waitress then speechlessly looked at me, before facing Ji Lian Bing and asking her whether she wanted to refill her cup. Ji Lian Bing changed to another different type of coffee, and also ordered a piece of cheesecake as well.

I was like an "Immovable" Acala Buddha statue, aggressively sitting over there, even my eyes were almost spouting out fire already.

"You looked to be in a rather bad mood, it can't be that you've been made fun of by someone?"

That person was you!

"Bulls.h.i.+t! Isn't it because of you deceiving my feelings!"

Ji Lian Bing lightly brushed off my rage, as she used an unconcerned att.i.tude to say.

"Ara, there's not a single word of deceit in my messages~, it's  just only Cheng Jun who arbitrary understood it to be like that."

"...........Tch."

All right, my reasoning had lost, I can't win her through talking.

This time, it's true that I'm a little too rash already, as I arbitrarily became excited the moment I've heard about maid cafes, and didn't carefully ponder about it.

No one's to be blamed for this, and it can be only said that I didn't consider it well-roundedly instead.

"So, what do you want to talk about?"

"Really, Cheng Jun. Up till now you haven't even properly called my name yet, call me Lian Bing~."

Ji Lian Bing a little displeasedly puffed up her cheeks, as she suddenly discussed onto matters about addressing.

I raised my eyebrows, and unveiled a strange expression.

"You still had the gall to say about me, didn't you always say my name out in reverse?"

"That's my act of intimacy!!"

"Then this addressing of mine is also a similar form as well."

I very rarely called out Ji Lian Bing's name, and usually would always use 'you' 'oi' 'this person' to address her. That's right, I've used those addressings that Xin Ran had used towards me in the past onto Ji Lian Bing.

Time to let you have a taste of my aloofness (referenced from Xin Ran's)!

"Even though you directly called out Yang-laos.h.i.+'s name, you won't say your girlfriend's name instead? Or does it mean that, in reality there's something between Cheng Jun and Yang-laos.h.i.+..........."

Once again, I've been tormentedly impressed by that strong information network of Ji Lian Bing's. Xue Li-xiaojie, who exactly were you............and how did you investigate on a person's privacy up till this sort of level at all? This was simply like those secret service agents level of information retrieving prowess already!

I also don't know to what extent she had found out too, but at the very least, it can't be that she would even know that Li Li was actually a succubus, right?

Mm...........it's quite unlikely, as normal people shouldn't be able to see through the illusion on Li Li, by right.

Since it's like that, I won't overly disclose too much information to her then.

"That's because me and Teacher know each other well, just like Xiao Zhen-laos.h.i.+, I too also directly call out her name."

"Then you should even more just say my name out, I'm Cheng Jun's girlfriend~!"

If I don't satisfy her, the conversation would seem to be unabling to start at all...........all right then.

I deeply breathed in a mouthful and wanted to say out 'Lian Bing' those two words, when Ji Lian Bing suddenly spoke, causing my words to be stifled within.

"Come~ try and say this 'I love Lian Bing, I love her so much to the point of death' ~."

"The difficulty had suddenly increased already?! Plus you even added in your l.u.s.t inside!"

"To every endings of your sentences, you must add in 'My house's Lian Bing is the most cutest already!' ."

"Have you had enough already! My house's Lian Bing is the most cutest already! Eh?"

"Huhuhuhu~"

So ultimately, it was all just playing around with me, huh!

At this moment, the waitress served those stuff that were being ordered earlier.

"Please enjoy your meal."

Throughout the whole process, the waitress kept staring fixedly at me, just like as if she's looking at some kind of a rare animal..........I'll say, must it be until like that...........

"Really..........."

I slightly exasperatedly sent the milk into my mouth, when I heard Ji Lian Bing suddenly approaching to my very front, and she placed her hands onto her lips as she mysteriously said to me.

"Cheng Jun, I didn't wear any panties today~"

"Pu!"

I spouted out all the milk from my mouth, and it all got spit out onto Ji Lian Bing's face which was right in front of me! A huge portion of the milk were being spouted onto her face and hair, there's a little portion that flowed down her chin and dripped within her cleavage as well.

".........."

The f**k!

What was this person suddenly talking about!

No wait, it should be instead, now I'm dead already, huh!

When I remembered back to the day before yesterday when we ate at the canteen during lunch break, about that killing gaze of hers...........this time she'll definitely rid me off!

But it's not my fault at all! Who asked you to say these sort of words out! I'm innocent, I'm the party that's being pa.s.sive!!

I originally thought that now I'll definitely be in hot soup, but this time, Ji Lian Bing didn't get angry at all. Her status's color didn't turn red, and what turned red was her cheeks instead.

She displayed out a look of timid shyness, as she clutched her face, shyly closing up her eyes and said.

"Ai ya, I've been colored with Cheng Jun's milk already~"

The surroundings exploded in an uproar.

"Uuu...........!"

This person...........!

Now that she reminds me, right now it indeed does look like she's been somewhat-ed (col-H-or) already...........

Using her fingers, Ji Lian Bing sc.r.a.ped the milk stains on her face together and sent them into her mouth, carefully licking her fingers afterwards, not even letting off the fingernails..........this needed to be said, after seeing this scene, my l.u.s.t had really been driven wild, and I started to think rather nonsensically.

This person was in the complete know-how onto enticing a man's l.u.s.t, she's even more like a succubus than that succubus Li Li already.

"Right now, Cheng Jun's entire head must be thinking of pus.h.i.+ng me on a bed, afterwards ravaging my entire body, so H~ huhuhu~"

"What kind of wild monkey did that come from, I've already evolved into a higher qualitied mammal."

Ji Lian Bing murmured 'Reallyyy~', while unveiling an suspicious expression and stood up.

I initially thought that she wanted to leave, or perhaps go to the washroom to wipe her hair clean, but I didn't expect that she only walked three steps after standing up!

"Lalala~"

Suddenly sitting within my arms, it gave me a huge scare, as I hastily spread my legs wide and retreated backwards onto the chair's back.

Uproar sounds exploded out even louder.

You see, even that waitress who wanted to approach us to pa.s.s over some napkins was also even shocked~! Don't do this kind of attention-seeking action!! Everyone was staring over at this side, eyy!

"Don't sit over at my side, this is a single seater, okay, so go sit down properly at the opposite end!!"

Ji Lian Bing completely ignored my protests, as she grabbed both my arms and pressed it onto her b.r.e.a.s.t.s, and shaked about forwards and backwards just like rowing a boat.

"Shakey shake, shakey shake~ shakey aaaattt the bridge~"

"Oi, wait wait, slow down! Don't shake anymore! That soft area under my arms is shaking about as well!!"

Ji Lian Bing seemed to be rather exhilarated, as she huhuhuhu chuckled on, rubbing all the milk onto her hair off onto me while saying.

"So perverted, I'll punish you to recite out the Prajñāpāramitā Heart Sūtra~"

"I only know that one line 'l.u.s.t is air, air is l.u.s.t', and as for the others, even if you tire me to death I still won't be able to memorize them."

"Actually, the 'l.u.s.t' mentioned in that line wasn't pointing towards laviciousness, mn? So you don't have any intentions of wanting to abstain from your s.e.xual urges at all~."

"Suddenly disseminating that sort of unneeded knowledge is for what, exactly! And speaking of which, since it doesn't have that sort of meaning at all, then why did you want to let me recite that sort of sutra?!"

Only those idiots who had l.u.s.ts towards their meimei would then be able to recite that completely, right!

(TL: I don't know which anime he's referring to)

Just like that, after greasing about in my arms for a while, rubbing off all the milk on her hair and face off in the process, she once again returned back to her seat.

I felt that she had treated me like a towel already...........luckily I was wearing rather decent clothes too...........

"It's really uncomfortable to have your hair being sticky."

Phew...........she finally returned back to her seat!

Just for that little period of time earlier, it's like as if the death G.o.d's scythe had been propping up against my neck...........

Maybe it's because that the matter of Ji Lian Bing wanting to strangle me had already left quite an amount of trauma within me, hence whenever she approached my surroundings, especially when her body laid contact with mine, I'll feel a series of discomfortness, with my heartbeat pacing quickly a great deal.

Of course, that's definitely not the reaction of my heart skipping a beat, it's a reaction of being terrified!

Ji Lian Bing drank a sip of coffee, and started to eat her cheesecake. She had just only taken two bites when she suddenly remembered something seemingly as she said.

"Oh right, yesterday when I was feeding Cheng Jun, we were being interrupted by that poker face, so let's do it again right now."

I mockingly looked at Ji Lian Bing whilst being silent, do you think that I'll be dumb enough to fall for the same trick once more?

"What's the matter? Worried that I've poisoned it again? I'll do it like this then.........."

Ji Lian Bing placed a mouthful of cake into her lips and held it inside for a moment, afterwards intentionally sticking out her rosy red tongue to lick the fork entirely.

The tongue's movement seemed to be a little lewd, making anyone who saw it felt their blood boiling within.

Added with that milk incident from earlier, it made even me almost having a reaction already...........

After the fork was entirely applied with her own saliva, she then once again picked up a piece of cake, and served it towards my mouth and said.

"Ahhh~ ~ ~"

My mouth remained pinched, still not buying her actions.

"Still can't, even when like this, huh.........."

Ji Lian Bing slightly disappointingly lowered her head, as she unveiled out an expression that would make anyone heartwrenched...........a portion of the guests in the surrounding had their status instantaneously turning to grey or black, as they shot envious resenting emotions towards me.

Humph, what shallow minded people, all of you completely don't understand the true motives of Ji Lian Bing at all! This woman could finish out a change from crying to laughing in an instant; able to control the inner emotions within herself; wilfully played with other people's feelings; a one hundred percent fiendish seductress!

"Since it's like that.........."

"Mm?"

Ji Lian Bing slightly raised her head upwards and shut her left eye, while using her left index finger to brush over her still-opened right eye.

And afterwards, her t.i.tle flickered continually, and it changed!

[Love Monarchical type Girlfriend] once again appeared right in front of me! Ji Lian Bing, you! You could even freely switch personalities already, huh! What level of frightfulness this woman possessed!

"Cheng Jun..........."

This look of submissive timidness, that's definitely correct, it's 'Moe Bing'! (the moe feebly Ji Lian Bing, abbreviated to Moe Bing)

"Can I feed you something to eat?"

Carefully picking up the fork once again, she noticed that her saliva still remained on it. With her face blus.h.i.+ng afterwards, she frantically ate it all off, then again picked up a piece of cake and sent it towards my mouth.

I unhesitatingly ate it in a single mouthful.

She delightfully unveiled out a happy, satisfied smiling expression.

".........."

Completely different from being with Ji Lian Bing, I became a little dazed, brain slightly slow-reacting, and my thoughts became clogged. To directly say it out, it's just like an idiotic (censored—) already.

I don't know why, but when facing against Moe Bing, I couldn't say out much words instead.

What happened afterwards, even I also didn't know how it went by. I felt that it was like looking at a very distant scenery, a memory being extremely obscure-like and hazy.

It's probably..........a rather normal date, I guess.

Moe Bing had a face of happiness as she held my hand, us together browsing the streets, and even seriously helped me in making a pair of clear lenses spectacles.

Eating lunch together, went to see the movies together, took a photo booth shot together.

Just like, a normal couple.

With the outcome that the entirety of today weren't being able to discuss anything on-topic at all, plus I also can't ask anything out of the Moe Bing's state of Ji Lian Bing too.

Really, what the h.e.l.l's going on...........

"I had fun today, Cheng Jun."

"Aahh, me too.........."

In the end, we ended today's date right beside a park, as her house's limo along with Xue Li-xiaojie had already been waiting for us at the entrance.

Probably, she had been always stalking us during the date, placing us within surveillance, I guess. And I vaguely felt many eye gazes staring upon the both of us, although I don't know where the exact positions of whence it came from at all.

It seems that, after I was able to see other people's statuses, my ability to sense danger had already increased quite a great deal.

"Well, Cheng Jun, lastly..........I want.........."

Moe Bing slightly raised her head upwards towards me, with her eyes closed, as she gently pinched her lips. The sunset and the red blushness appearing on her face had its mixed s.h.i.+ne to be extremely captivating.

It's evidently a wanting of me to kiss her.

Should I kiss her? Or should I not kiss her? She's my girlfriend, but this was only a falsified relations.h.i.+p, plus her true motive was to murder me and obtain my corpse.........

"Cheng Jun..........?"

A voice carrying slight unease floated into my ears. While I was in the midst of hesitation, Moe Bing's heart was gradually descending as well.

Tch, what were you in a twist about, An Jun Cheng! If it's the woman's side who wanted a kiss, then you'll just only need to give a proper response in return!! There's also no such decision selecting phobia too, what's the matter with being so fickle-minded!

I then immediately caressed my hand across Moe Bing's cheeks, and was just about to place a kiss on those two red lips...........

Killing aura!

Plus, this suddenly appearing killing aura didn't emanate out from Moe Bing at all!

Shocked, I instinctively turned around and looked at my surroundings, but didn't see anyone else at all. Xue Li-xiaojie's status was still green colored, so it's impossible that the killing aura came from her.

"What's the matter? Cheng Jun?"

"Nothing, it's that I suddenly felt my back to be rather chilly..........it should be nothing at all."

"Then..........."

I scratched my cheeks. Originally I wanted to kiss onto her lips, but being interrupted just like that made me cowardly quite a little, and in the end only kissed onto her forehead.

But Moe Bing looked to be still rather delighted, her face blushed reddish as she caressed her forehead, heheehee chuckling about.

"She's satisfied already, but I'm still not satisfied yet~? Cheng Jun~"

"Wut? Uuu!"

The tone suddenly changed, and I hadn't even the time to react when my collar was being pulled forward, as teeth and teeth clas.h.i.+ng against each other made a loud resounding noise; a barbaric kiss.

Aahh! It hurts!

My tongue were being bitten through!

I hastily pushed her away and clutched my mouth.

"Uuu!"

"Huhuhuhu~"

Ji Lian Bing who had turned back into [Corpse Lover Homicidal Maniac] evilly looked at me and gave off that cla.s.sic four segment laughter of hers.

"I really, really want to have you already~, Cheng Jun~"

She used my fresh blood to paint her lips, that both eyes of hers were like a predator who had spotted its prey.

"Well then, here's a reward for accompanying me the entire day. Look carefully and don't blink, okaay?"

Both of Ji Lian Bing's hands clutched onto her skirt as they slowly pulled upwards...........

The night breeze blew past, as the sunset shone onto my face through that gap of s.p.a.ce within the cloud parted sky.

Gardens of virginity were uns.h.i.+eldingly exposed right before me, but it became immersively entrancing because of that ray of dawn instead.

Xue Li-xiaojie who was standing not far clutched her mouth in shock, and the mask wearing maid who was sitting on the driver seat too pulled down her mask with an expression of astonishment.

And my brain, it was completely being reformatted already.

The only remaining doc.u.ment that was left inside my brain after it being voided of emptiness, was that picture from that very scene. I thought, that even if I had to die, I won't delete off this photo still.

Ji Lian Bing, she really didn't wear any panties at all!!!

-ch 31 end-

(2758 words to tl)

TL: Here's a fanart ill.u.s.tration by Babydalyn (discord), I think it's way nicer than the original drawing though, what are your thoughts?

Footnotes:
dimensional door kind of tool = reference to doraemon

neet = Not Employed, in Education, or Training.

'attendant' usage (服务员)= the first usage of it was genderless (we don't know whether it's M/F yet), it was after her order taking when her gender was especially specified. Previous chapter it also used the term 服务员, but since the MC specifically looked around the cafe for maid-costumes wearing people, I could gender tag it to be waitresses. Nah, males don't wear maid costumes.

'Welcome' greeting = I understand in eng that normally you would say welcome to 'insert store name', but in this case, from the original chinese text there wasn't any store name indicated, the transliteration word for word is 'welcome onto visiting', and so far there wasn't any indication of the store's name yet. (Plus it's possible that I can't just throw the store name in anyhow too, since it's expected that the MC would react to the name somehow)

"Immovable" Acala Buddha statue = A j.a.pan Buddhist statue. Wikipedia detailed link here

sfx = this author uses a lot of sfx, if you're unaware of it by now

Shakey shake, shakey shake~ shakey aaaattt the bridge~ = It's a famous chinese lullaby, I tried to translate it as best as I could without ruining the rhyming, while preserving it's meaning to the best that I could.

The original lullaby is: 摇啊摇,摇啊摇~摇到外婆桥~

which means uh, essentially a.....I have no idea. It's just a song you use to coax babies to sleep in their swinging bed (that could shake gently left and right), the 摇啊摇 refers to shakey shake, and 摇到外婆桥 refers to shakey till you eventually reach a place called "外婆桥".

TLDR: It's just a lullaby song for babies, don't think so much about it.

Prajñāpāramitā Heart Sūtra = The Heart Sultra is a popular sutra in Mahayana Buddism.

Source: wiki

idiotic (censor—) = In reference to the CN slang 傻B. Aka idiotic f***.

decision selecting phobia = In snark reference to that certain anime, Noucome.

immersively entrancing light = An example of a light glow being dazzlingly captivating as that would be moonlight.

Glossary:
-laos.h.i.+ = a suffix meaning 'teacher'

-xiaojie = a suffix meaning 'miss', it's being used to refer to someone respectfully (a lady)

meimei = younger sister

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