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Grace, it must be confessed, was compelling herself to a thorough intellectual investigation which, till now, had been a novel pleasure, but was getting a little monotonous, although she was deeply interested and more pleased with the Bible readings than she would have thought possible, because, as she had said herself, the Bible had been a sealed book to her before. She was very careful to conceal this new feeling from Kate, for at least, she would not lay one obstacle in _her_ path, and after a few moments' desultory conversation, they went on as before.
"The next affirmation is about the will, what can you find for that?"
asked Grace, as they had resumed their study again.
"I have found it already," replied Kate, with her finger on the pa.s.sage.
"In Phil. ii: 13: 'For it is G.o.d who worketh in you both to will and to do of his good pleasure.' That subordination to the will of G.o.d runs all through the New Testament."
"Here is the last one," resumed Grace, referring to the letter again. "I am subject to G.o.d's law and can not sin, suffer or die," she read.
"Oh, that does not sound right; I do _not_ see how it can be right to say such things," interposed Kate, darkening again.
She looked up a reference to sin and turned to the sixth chapter of Romans. "I don't see very clearly yet," she faltered, after she had finished the chapter.
"Yes, in the 16th verse is the key to it all," said Grace, looking over the page with her. "The idea is, if we admit sin or talk about it, we are committing sin, for it is wrong to do either."
"I understand a little better now, but it is not an easy matter to be so good," sighed Kate.
"But we are given these rules in order to know _how_ to be good. Let us sit as we did last night, and say these affirmations," suggested Grace, determined to do her duty, for Kate's sake at least.
Diligence and faithfulness never fail to bring forth fruit, and they were laboring hard, both with soil and seed.
CHAPTER XIX.
"Each of us is a distinct flower or tree in the spiritual garden of G.o.d,--precious each for its own sake in the eyes of Him who is even now making us,--each of us watered and shone upon and filled with life for the sake of His flower, His completed being, which will blossom out of Him at last to the glory and pleasure of the great Gardener. For each has within him a secret of Divinity; each is growing toward the revelation of that secret to himself, and so to the full reception, according to his measure of the Divine."--_George MacDonald._
"MARLOW, September ----.
"Dear Husband: Your letter seemed the only bright spot in my yesterday's experience, for, strange as it may seem, I awoke with the same old headache and pain in my limb, and felt so dull and stupid, that I was almost doubtful whether I had ever known anything. In vain I tried to treat myself, but the more I tried the more perplexed I became, until about noon, when I began to feel better, though the whole day was a novel and rather disagreeable experience. When I went into cla.s.s to-day, from nearly every quarter was heard a similar story of how the day of rest had been pa.s.sed.
"It was more and more astonis.h.i.+ng. Dr. Bright had hardly recovered from her sick headache; Mrs. Dawn was still feeling stupid; two ladies were not able to attend cla.s.s; Dr. Johnson and Dr. Lorimer actually looked angry, and the two ministers in the cla.s.s were gravely discussing the knotty points and knitting their clerical brows over 'doubtful explanations' as they called them, while a perplexed and troubled air seemed to settle on everybody. But there are a few old students in the cla.s.s, and they looked at us with a knowing smile, saying: 'This is only chemicalization; you will be all the brighter after you get over it.'
"They did not explain further, but I knew something about it from the experience we have had, but had never thought of it in that light. 'It is a comfort to know there is some prospect of an end to our darkness anyway,' said Mrs. Dawn, with a long-drawn breath of relief, voicing the sentiments of all.
"The kind and gracious look Mrs. Pearl gave us as she came in, sent a wave of peace and satisfaction over me, for I felt that she understood the situation and would lift the curtains and let in the light.
"After the usual silence, which seemed longer than before, Mrs. Pearl began in a calm clear voice:
"We have come now to a point where it seems necessary to explain the process of growth, and the phenomenal changes which take place at certain stages of our development, whether known or unknown to the individual.
"Hitherto we have recognized material ideas, objects and processes. We have looked upon our physical being as the indisputable creation subject to all changes, circ.u.mstances or conditions. Having experienced a material birth, we conceive of no other as being either possible or necessary, and like Nicodemus we go in the night of our ignorance to ask the divine Teacher, Truth, questions concerning spiritual things, only to be told we must be born from above if we would know the things of the spirit. 'That which is born of flesh is flesh, and that which is born of Spirit is spirit.'
"We are covered with the cold, hard sh.e.l.l of material beliefs, which must be broken and cast away before the sweet and tender germ of spirit can spring up. We are born like the flowers, and blossom like them.
'Consider the lilies of the field, _how they grow_.'
"Seed typifies the desire for truth planted in the conscious and unconscious being. The more constantly and persistently we hold the desire, the more rapid and perfect will be the development that produces the fruit. The hard little kernel must first lie in the dark earth, while hidden forces make it swell and sprout until the outer sh.e.l.l dies and falls away, leaving the pure white germ to push its way up and up through the cold dreary earth. At this period it is very delicate and tender, and yet it must pa.s.s through a trying stage, for when the white spire just peeps above the ground it has to encounter elements that at first seem bent upon its destruction.
"Will the sun's rays now prove too hot for it? Will the winds be too rough and stormy? Will the cold air bite, or the storm beat and bruise it unto death? Pointing ever skyward, does it stop to s.h.i.+ver at the prospect of dark and cold and heat, or windy violence?
"Let us see. Bravely the young shoot goes its way. As soon as it sees the light it displays new beauty, and the reflected glory clothes it in a brighter robe--the fresh, dainty green of spring's supernal dress, emblem of everlasting youth. But a storm of wind and rain a.s.sails it.
Dense cloud-curtains hide the sun, and the air is cold and chilling.
Sometimes for days this benumbing coldness lasts. But after the storm our little friend is greener and brighter and larger than ever. It has withstood the storm and wind, by using them for its own advancement.
Everything has been turned into good by recognizing only the good.
"When the suns.h.i.+ne comes again the little slip is baptized with dew and warmth and light, and joyously springs on toward budding time, and then another and different experience befalls. Instead of rolling every new leaf outward to be bathed in the light and kissed by the wind, there is a rolling inward, a curling up and shutting in of the new and delicate leaves. A hard, unlovely roll or lump now displays itself on the green stem, and every day the roll becomes larger and harder. The green stalk never questions, though for a time her face is veiled. She lives in the waiting silence, content with what is. One bright day she looks at her ugly bud and finds it a rare blossom of surpa.s.sing beauty and sweetest fragrance. Thus is born the fair-robed lily, pure emblem of the child of G.o.d.
"But we have many and various symbols of divine thought in the many and various flowers, from which we learn divine lessons. There are the violets that come so early in the spring, with their wildwood fragrance and dainty blue cloaks, and the lovely roses of summer, the goldenrods and asters of autumn, while among the rarer kinds we have the night-blooming cereus, the beautiful but slow blossoming century plant, and many others. These are types and symbols of ourselves and our process of birth and unfoldment.
"The new birth is a development from material to spiritual knowledge.
The individual corresponds to one or another plant, but none may know at what particular stage.
"Some blossom early, some late, some manifest a nature like the violet, others the rose, the water lily or the century plant. I can not tell, you can not tell, none can tell. Even the Master said, 'The wind bloweth where it listeth and thou hearest the sound thereof, but canst not tell whence it cometh or whither it goeth, so is every one that is born of the spirit.'
"The wonderful seed (desire for truth) we have planted must be moistened by the water of right words, warmed by the suns.h.i.+ne of faith, fed by the dew of patience.
"Our trials will be similar in character to the flowers, and the outcome will be the same in proportion as we follow their example of unquestioning faithfulness.
"The very desire to grow is a challenge to the elements that _seem_ to oppose growth, but the plant overcomes all obstacles by its non-resistance, and herein lies one of our most valuable lessons.
"In our progress we meet with many conditions and circ.u.mstances that try us, that seem indeed to call in question our earnestness in thus starting out, with new a.s.sumptions. Sometimes these adverse conditions are called trials of faith and they may come to us in one way or another, sometimes in sickness, sometimes in misunderstandings, sometimes in grief, sometimes in disagreeable duties.
"Peculiarities of disposition that we thought overcome, may manifest themselves very unexpectedly and cause us great annoyance, not only because we may have congratulated ourselves on having risen above them, but because it would be a mortification to us to have our friends know that we who believe in the possibility of such high moral attainments, should be guilty of these old weaknesses and follies. In every way, the tempter--mortal thought--may show us the fallibility of human nature and tempt us to disbelieve in our high ideals.
"The forty days' temptation in the wilderness is the soul history of every human being who starts out to lead the life of Jesus. Tempted in everything as we are, he was the type of strength, purity and faithfulness to principles, which we most earnestly should seek to follow. After his baptism, 'He was conducted by the spirit into the desert to be tempted by the enemy.'
"We are baptized by the spirit when we have come into the realization of our sons.h.i.+p and daughters.h.i.+p, our true relation to the divine Father and Mother Love, and have consecrated our lives to the service of Truth. In order that we may be fully aware of the magnitude of our desire, we are, as it were, led by the spirit to the desert which literally signifies forsaken, where every means of comfort and companions.h.i.+p are gone, where we must learn to choose between the ever present but invisible things of G.o.d and the transitory but gratifying pleasures of the visible world.
Having a glimpse of the power and blessedness conferred by the knowledge of Truth, we are tempted to keep hold of the power, at the same time fellows.h.i.+pping with the world, which by our recognition and fellows.h.i.+p will be greatly pleased through the acquisition of our society and talents.
"When tests are required of us similar to the turning of stones into bread, healing the lepers, raising the dead, will we realize our dependence on the word of G.o.d which is the 'bread of life?' Temptations to dare the protection of the power, give us an insight to the very same trial of Jesus, and when we are led up to the mountain of knowledge from which we may view the pomps and vanities of the world, realizing the superior insight that gives power, then comes the decisive question--shall G.o.d or mammon gain our allegiance? Shall we forego the seductive allurements of mortal thought (which is really only the negative thought or the false power called the world's beliefs reflected upon us), or shall we, in ringing tones cry out, 'Get thee behind me, adversary (or opposer). Thou shalt wors.h.i.+p the Lord thy G.o.d and him only shalt thou serve.' Then the enemy leaves us, and behold, angels come and minister to us.
"After the long forty days, which with some seem longer than with others, after the darkness and desolation of a desert night, we are ministered unto by the blessed angels--good thoughts--and the glory of the Most High s.h.i.+nes round about us. The struggle is ended, the Good which is ever ready to be our guide when we choose, leads us into many sweet experiences that bring us nearer and nearer to the 'promised land,' the true inheritance of G.o.d's children. We begin the ascent of the mount of transfiguration, and though we come to many steep places, though we sometimes stumble over rocks of ignorance, though we encounter clouds of doubt that veil the glorious peak from our longing view for a time, though we meet wild beasts, (untamed human nature), though we cross shadowy valleys and dark ravines, lighted only by the torch of faith, we shall have transcendant glimpses of the fair Beyond, shall breathe the perfumed air of Zion's Hills, and be transported with delight at the never ceasing revelations made to the true seeker after eternal wisdom.
"After faith, comes knowledge. If we were overcome by the tidal wave, when wading out a little way from sh.o.r.e, and a rope were thrown us, we should at least catch hold the rope, hoping to be delivered from the danger. After several successful experiences, we should have faith in the rope, so when we feel the tidal wave of trial overtaking us, we are to catch hold of our denials and affirmations which correspond to the saving rope. An invariable rule in Christian Science is to deny the undesirable and affirm that which can be predicated of spirit. _No matter what inharmony_ a.s.sails you, whether it be pain, poverty, sickness, loneliness, fear or anxiety, _deny_ it positively and repeatedly and _affirm_ the opposite. Like Jesus, we must speak of that which is true, but not visible. Thus when called to raise the daughter of Jairus, he said: 'She is not dead but sleepeth.' The appearance of death was denied, and its opposite, life, affirmed.
"When talking to the Jews, Jesus said: 'If ye continue in my word, then are ye my disciples indeed; and ye shall know the truth and the truth shall make you free.' It is continuance in the word that brings the blessing, mark that.
"And now let us enter into the silence with one accord, saying: 'For Thy blessed words and example we thank Thee, O, beloved Master, and with Thy words we enter now into Thy faith.'
"An impressive ten minutes, and then, with reverent voice and gesture, Mrs. Pearl dismissed us with the words: 'It is finished. We have received that which we asked, and are filled with the peace that pa.s.seth all understanding.'
"While we sat thus, just before she spoke, I had one of those peculiar experiences they tell about, coming so often in the silence. It seemed as though I was in the cool quiet of early morning, watching the signs of a summer dawn. All at once the creeping rainbow colors shot up toward the zenith, and the most glorious sunrise I ever beheld flooded me with a dazzling glow of gold. The moment she spoke it vanished, but oh, how lovely it was! What could it mean unless the dawn of the 'Sun of Righteousness?' I must wait and see, for surely the understanding of these things will come when I am ready for it.
"Several of the cla.s.s have been having strange signs or hints of something on which they have been studying deeply. Dr. Bright said that everything turned black before her one day when she was denying, and when she could see again it seemed as though there were no walls to the house and she was gazing into empty s.p.a.ce. This is on account of denying till material things seem immaterial, and we begin to realize the reality of spirit.
"The saying of the affirmation for strength, Mrs. Dawn says, makes her body feel almost electrified with vitality, and she can realize that the words bring to her what they claim.