A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vi Part 79

SIMPLICITY.

Of an old Frenchman, the old French disease take him!

USURY.

And where dwells that old Frenchman?

SIMPLICITY.

In France, I think, for he told me he was to go over the next tide or the next day: My wife can tell as well as I, If ye think I lie.

For she was by.

USURY.

A good answer: he dwells in France, and you dwell here; and for uttering copper for gold you are like to lose both your ears upon the pillory, and besides lose your freedom.

SIMPLICITY.

Nay, if I lose my ears, I care not for my freedom: keep you my freedom, so I may keep my ears. Is there no remedy for this, Master Usury?

USURY.

None, except you can find out that old Frenchman.

SIMPLICITY.

Peradventure I can, if you'll let me go into France to seek him.

USURY.

So we may lose you, and never see him. Nay, that may not be.

SIMPLICITY.

Nay, good Master Usury, take all my goods, and let me go.

_Enter_ FRAUD, DISSIMULATION, SIMONY, _in canvas coats like sailors_.

FRAUD.

What's the matter, Usury, that this poor knave cries so?

SIMPLICITY.

O Master Fraud! speak to him to let me go.

FRAUD.

Fraud, ye villain! call me not by my name, and ye shall see I will speak to him to let you go free. [_Aside_.]

Usury, of all old fellows.h.i.+p, let this poor knave pack, if the matter be not too heinous.

USURY.

No: fie! his fault is odious. Look here what stuff he would utter for gold: flat copper; and he say'th he bought them of an old Frenchman.

FRAUD.

But thou didst not sell them, didst thou?

SIMPLICITY.

No, sir; I would have but laid them to p.a.w.n for five pounds to him.

FRAUD.

That was more than they were worth. I promise thee, a foul matter.

Well, thou must lose thy ware, and be glad to escape: so, Usury, at my request ye shall let the poor man go.

USURY.

Well, for this once I will. Sirrah, get ye packing, and take heed of such a piece of work again, while ye live.

SIMPLICITY.

There is divers pieces of work in that box: pray ye, give me some of my goods again, a ring, or something.

USURY.

Not an inch, and be glad to 'scape as ye do.

SIMPLICITY.

Alas! I am undone: there's all the wealth and stock I have.

FRAUD.

Do ye long to lose your ears? be gone, ye foolish knave.

SIMPLICITY.

I thank ye, Master Fraud. I'll not go far, but I'll be near to hear and see what the meaning of these fellows in this canvas should be; for I know Fraud, Dissimulation, and Simony to be those three. Here, I think, I am unseen.

[SIMPLICITY _hides him near them_.

FRAUD.

Usury, thank me for this good booty, for it is I that holp ye to it, for I sold them to him for gold indeed, in the shape of an old French artificer; come, give me half, for I deserve it, for my part was the first beginning of this comedy. I was ever afraid lest the fool should have known me; for ye see now, though disguis'd, he called me by my name.

SIMPLICITY.

Did I so? I am glad I have found the Frenchman. Now, I'll raise the street, but I'll have my wares again, and prove ye, as ye were ever, both false knaves, I believe.

[_Exit_ SIMPLICITY[269].

FRAUD.

Kill him, stab him! Out, villain! he will betray us all.

USURY.

What a fool were you to speak before he was gone: now you have lost your part of this, too; for he will go complain, you will be sought for, and I made to restore these things again.

FRAUD.

Not if thou be wise: thou wilt not tarry the reckoning, for seest thou not us three, Dissimulation, Simony, and myself?

USURY.

Yes: what means these canvas suits? Will ye be sailors?

FRAUD.

Usury, make one: this is our intent. Let's see that none hear us now.

The Spaniards are coming, thou hearest, with great power: here is no living for us in London; men are growen so full of conscience and religion, that Fraud, Dissimulation, and Simony are deciphered, and being deciphered are also despised, and therefore we will slip to the sea, and meet and join with the enemy; and if they conquer, as they may, for they are a great army by report, our credit may rise again with them: if they fail and retire, we may either go with them and live in Spain, where we and such good fellows are tolerated and used, or come slyly again hither, so long as none knows but friends.

USURY.

But will you do thus, you two?

DISSIMULATION.