A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Vii Part 65

FRAN. So ho! where art thou, Philip?

WILL. 'Sblood,[370] Philip!

But now he call'd me Francis: this is fine. [_Aside_.]

FRAN. Why studiest thou? I prythee, tell me, Philip, Where the wench[371] is.

WILL. Even now he ask'd me (Francis) for the wench, And now he asks[372] me (Philip) for the wench. [_Aside_.]

Well, Sir Ralph, I must needs tell ye now, 'Tis[373] not for your[374] credit to be forth So late a-wenching in this order.[375]

FRAN. What's this? so late a-wenching, doth he say? [_Aside_]

--Indeed, 'tis true I am thus late a-wenching, But I am forc'd to wench without a wench.

WILL. Why, then, you might have ta'n your bow at first, And gone and kill'd a buck, and not have been So long a-drabbing, and be ne'er the near.[376]

FRAN. Swounds, what a puzzle am I in this night!

But yet I'll put this fellow farther [question. _Aside_]

--Dost thou hear, man? I am not Sir Ralph Smith, As thou dost think I am; but I did meet him, Even as thou sayest, in pursuit of a wench.

I met the wench too, and she ask'd for thee, Saying 'twas thou that wert her love, her dear, And that Sir Ralph was not an honest knight To train her thither, and to use her so.

WILL. 'Sblood, my wench! swounds, were he ten Sir Ralphs--

FRAN. Nay, 'tis true, look to it; and so, farewell.

[_Exit_.

WILL. Indeed, I do love Nan our dairymaid: And hath he traine[d] her forth to that intent, Or for another? I carry his crossbow, And he doth cross me, shooting in my bow.

What shall I do?

[_Exit_.][377]

_Enter_ PHILIP.

PHIL. So ho!

SIR RALPH. So ho!

PHIL. Francis, art thou there?

SIR RALPH. No, here's no Francis. Art thou Will, my man?

PHIL. Will Fool your man, Will goose[378] your man!

My back, sir, scorns to wear your livery.

SIR RALPH. Nay, sir, I mov'd but such a question to you, And it hath not disparag'd you, I hope; 'Twas but mistaking; such a night as this May well deceive a man. G.o.d be w'ye,[379] sir.

[_Exit_.]

PHIL. G.o.d's will, 'tis Sir Ralph Smith, a virtuous knight!

How gently entertains he my hard answer!

Rude anger made my tongue unmannerly: I cry him mercy. Well, but all this while I cannot find a Francis.--Francis, ho!

[_Enter_ WILL.]

WILL. Francis, ho! O, you call Francis now!

How have ye us'd my Nan? come, tell me, how.

PHIL. Thy Nan! what Nan?

WILL. Ay, what Nan, now! say, do you not seek a wench?

PHIL. Yes, I do.

WILL. Then, sir, that is she.

PHIL. Art not thou [he] I met withal before?

WILL. Yes, sir; and you did counterfeit before, And said to me you were not Sir Ralph Smith.

PHIL. No more I am not. I met Sir Ralph Smith; Even now he ask'd me, if I saw his man.

WILL. O, fine!

PHIL. Why, sirrah, thou art much deceived in me: Good faith, I am not he thou think'st I am.

WILL. What are ye, then?

PHIL. Why, one that seeks one Francis and a wench.

WILL. And Francis seeks one Philip and a wench.

PHIL. How canst thou tell?

WILL. I met him seeking Philip and a wench.

As I was seeking Sir Ralph and a wench.

PHIL. Why, then, I know the matter: we met cross, And so we miss'd; now here we find our loss.

Well, if thou wilt, we two will keep together, And so we shall meet right with one or other.

WILL. I am content: but, do you hear me, sir?

Did not Sir Ralph Smith ask ye for a wench?

PHIL. No, I promise thee, nor did he look For any but thyself, as I could guess.

WILL. Why, this is strange: but come, sir, let's away: I fear that we shall walk here, till't be day.

[_Exeunt_.

_Enter_ BOY.

[BOY.] O G.o.d, I have run so far into the wind, that I have run myself out of wind! They say a man is near his end, when he lacks breath; and I am at the end of my race, for I can run no farther; then here I be in my breath-bed, not in my death-bed.[380]

_Enter_ COOMES.