A Select Collection of Old English Plays Volume Ix Part 12

[_Exit_.

SCENE III.

_A Room in Young Arthur's House_.

_Enter_ MISTRESS ARTHUR _and her_ MAID.

MRS ART. Come, spread the table; is the hall well rubb'd?

The cus.h.i.+ons in the windows neatly laid?

The cupboard of plate set out? the cas.e.m.e.nts stuck With rosemary and flowers? the carpets brush'd?

MAID. Ay, forsooth, mistress.

MRS ART. Look to the kitchen-maid, and bid the cook take down the oven-stone, [lest] the pies be burned: here, take my keys, and give him out more spice.

MAID. Yes, forsooth, mistress.

MRS ART. Where's that knave Pipkin? bid him spread the cloth, Fetch the clean diaper napkins from my chest, Set out the gilded salt, and bid the fellow Make himself handsome, get him a clean band.

MAID. Indeed, forsooth, mistress, he is such a sloven, That nothing will sit handsome about him; He had a pound of soap to scour his face, And yet his brow looks like the chimney-stock.

MRS ART. He'll be a sloven still; maid, take this ap.r.o.n, And bring me one of linen: quickly, maid.

MAID. I go, forsooth.

MRS ART. There was a curtsy! let me see't again; Ay, that was well.--[_Exit_ MAID.] I fear my guests will come Ere we be ready. What a spite is this.

_Within_. Mistress!

MRS ART. What's the matter?

_Within_. Mistress, I pray, take Pipkin from the fire; We cannot keep his fingers from the roast.

MRS ART. Bid him come hither; what a knave is that!

Fie, fie, never out of the kitchen!

Still broiling by the fire!

_Enter_ PIPKIN.

PIP. I hope you will not take Pipkin from the fire, Till the broth be enough.

_Enter_ MAID, _with an ap.r.o.n_.

MRS ART. Well, sirrah, get a napkin and a trencher, And wait to-day. So, let me see: my ap.r.o.n. [_Puts it on_.]

PIP. Mistress, I can tell ye one thing, my master's wench Will come home to-day to dinner.

_Enter_ JUSTICE REASON, _and his man_ HUGH.

MRS ART. She shall be welcome, if she be his guest.

But here's some of our guests are come already: A chair for Justice Reason, sirrah!

JUS. Good morrow, Mistress Arthur! you are like a good housewife: At your request I am come home. What, a chair!

Thus age seeks ease. Where is your husband, mistress?

What, a cus.h.i.+on, too!

PIP. I pray you, ease your tail, sir.

JUS. Marry, and will, good fellow; twenty thanks.

[HUGH _and_ PIPKIN _converse apart_.]

PIP. Master Hugh, as welcome as heart can tell, or tongue can think.

HUGH. I thank you, Master Pipkin; I have got many a good dish of broth by your means.

PIP. According to the ancient courtesy, you are welcome; according to the time and place, you are heartily welcome: when they are busied at the board, we will find ourselves busied in the b.u.t.tery; and so, sweet Hugh, according to our scholars' phrase, _gratulor adventum tuum_.

HUGH. I will answer you with the like, sweet Pipkin, _gratias_.

PIP. As much grace as you will, but as little of it as you can, good Hugh. But here comes more guests.

_Enter_ OLD MASTER ARTHUR _and_ OLD MASTER LUSAM.

MRS ART. More stools and cus.h.i.+ons for these gentlemen.

O. ART. What, Master Justice Reason, are you here?

Who would have thought to have met you in this place?

O. LUS. What say mine eyes, is Justice Reason here?

Mountains may meet, and so, I see, may we.

JUS. Well, when men meet, they meet, And when they part, they oft leave one another's company; So we, being met, are met.

O. LUS. Truly, you say true; And Master Justice Reason speaks but reason: To hear how wisely men of law will speak!

_Enter_ ANSELM _and_ FULLER.

ANS. Good morrow, gentlemen!

MRS ART. What? are you there?

ANS. Good morrow, mistress, and good morrow, all!

JUS. If I may be so bold in a strange place, I say, good morrow, and as much to you.

I pray, gentlemen, will you sit down?