Darkey Ways in Dixie Part 5

Dat great school am situate Down in Alabamy state, In dis Dixie lan'; En folks north en eas' en wes', When dey heah it do its bes', Len' a he'pin' han'.

Mr. Was.h.i.+ngton come down Las' week ter dis very town, Ez I spec' you know; En when I went ter dat hall Des ter heah him speak, en all, I wus 'sprised, fo' sho;

'Sprised ter see dat cullud man On de platform, dress up gran', Wid de bes' white men; En if he don't speak dat day Words ez good ez dey kin say-- Den my name ain't Ben!

Oh, I wish dat I could tell What he say! It make me swell All up fat wid pride; En I say: "I sho gwine shake His right han' fo' dem words' sake, When we git outside."

When he finish en set down, I go outside en walk roun'

Till his face I see; Den I say, sho ez I bo'n: "Howdy, Mr. Was.h.i.+ngton!

Won't you speak ter me?"

En he shake my han' de way Dat men do when dey hearts say: "Glad ter see yo' face!"

En I tell him; "'Fo'e you go I mus' say, you make me, sho, Proud ob de black race."

Crazy Joe's Ambition.

Crazy Joe, he make me laugh When he talk dat way 'Bout de mansion on de hill Whar de gov'nor stay; When he vow dat he Sho ez life gwine be Walkin' on dem flo's some day.

He ain't wise on politics, En we tell him so, En we say: "n.o.body vote Fo' you, Crazy Joe!"

But he say dat he Sometime sho gwine be Walkin' on dat mansion flo'.

His vote he'p de white man git Ter dat place, he say, En he waitin' fo' de state Ter do right, en pay Him wid dis job soon: Was.h.i.+n' de spittoon What dey use dar ebry day!

Grinnin' Jake.

Neber seen a feller grin Lak dat n.i.g.g.e.r do; When you as' him anything He des look at you;-- Neber answer what you say-- Grin en grin dat stupid way.

When somebody what don't know As' him what he name, He hang down dat head ob his Ez do' he ashame; En he show dem teeth ob white Lak dey speak fo' him all right.

"Is de cat done got yo' tongue?"

Mammy as' him once, "Or is you des bo'n to be A dum', stupid dunce?"

But he hang dat head en grin, Silly ez he allers bin.

I mos' b'lieve dat when he git Up ter heaven's gate, If de angels as' him why He stan' dar en wait, He won't say: "Please let me in,"

But des grin en grin en grin!

[Ill.u.s.tration: Grinnin' Jake.]

Elmiry Vaccinated.

When de vaccinater come, My Elmiry run frum home Fas' ez she could go; Run away ter Missus' house, Whar she slip in lak a mouse, So de Miss won't know.

En she scramble hin' de head Ob de Missus' high pos' bed, Des ter hide erwhile; En de Missus come en go Frue dat room, but she don't know 'Bout dat silly chile.

By en by, when she come frue, She heah somethin' breave, she do, Lak somebody 'sleep; En her heart stan' still dat day, En she am too sca'ed, she say, Des to take a peep.

So she run out-do's en call; "Sen' de pleeceman (heah me all!) Right now ter my house; Dar's a robber 'hin' my bed, Waitin' till de day be dead, Quiet ez a mouse."

En de news dem people spread 'Bout de robber 'hin' de bed, Waitin' till day done; En de pleeceman sho did race, So he reach dat hidin' place, 'Fo'e de robber run.

But when he git dar en see Dat chile sleepin' quiet, he Des frow back his head, En he laugh en laugh en say: "Come in, Missus, right away!

Who dis 'hin' yo' bed?"

Dey take hol' ob her en shake Dat Elmiry till she wake 'Nough ter rub her eyes; When she open dem en see Who dat man am--goodness me!-- She am sho surprise'.

"Please, Mister Pleeceman," den she say, "I'll be vaccernate' dis day If you let me go!"

But he say dat des a tale, En he take her ter de jail 'Fo'e her mammy know.

Take her ter be vaccernate, En she grunt now, soon en late, Wid dat arm dat's so'.

'Tain't no use ter run frum home When de vaccernater come;-- He gwine git you, sho.

"Simple Simon."

Des cartin ez dey is a way Ter miss doin what am right, Dat boy gwine allers fin' it out What work fo' Mistah White.

Las' yeah dey had him drive 'em all Out ter de ole school groun', Whar all de white folks congregate Frum miles en miles er-roun'.

En Mistah White, when dey git dar, Say: "Simon, now you min', En put dis ice we got heah, in De cooles' place you fin'."

En when dey all go in ter heah De chillun speak en sing, Dat boy--he go en drap dat ice Right in de bubblin' spring!

An Obstacle Overcome.

Dat Tom, he allers want ter know All 'bout de things he see; I neber could remember ha'f Ob what he done as' me.

He see dem posts down by de road, Wid wires stretch ercrost, En ast me why dem wires wus Hung dar from post ter post.

I tell him den, de bes' I kin, Dat dey wus made to sen'

De news ercrost, so men kin heah Frum dey fur absent frien'.

He stan' en gaze en gaze on dem In his onquirin' way; Den: "How de news git roun dem posts?"

Dat stupid n.i.g.g.e.r say.

He sho ain't got de sense ter know (De good fo' nothin' scamp!) Dat des ter meet dat obstickle We got de postage stamp.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "How de News git roun' dem posts?"]

Two of a kind.

Sime say he don't know what ter do wid dat mule Dat he done gone en bought (he wus sholy a fool!) At de sale in de town; He say it so stubborn dat when he say "gee,"

It allers gwine "haw," ez sho ez kin be, En I's glad, I am boun'.