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The appeal was very sincere, and thrilled Joyce with apprehensions. To be urged to travel at the risk of capture by German raiders at large on the high seas, that she might rejoin her husband without loss of time, argued that something was seriously wrong. Honor was her true friend and would not counsel such a step without reference to that husband, unless something was decidedly wrong. Whom was she to obey? Her husband, who had cabled to her to stay where she was? or Honor, who was urging her to go out at once?
While Joyce pondered over her dilemma, the fate of two people dear to her was being decided elsewhere.
CHAPTER XXI
THE REAL THING
Jack had come to the conclusion that it was impossible to part from Kitty Wynthrop with his love unconfessed. It was unthinkable that he should go out to India, loving Kitty as he did, and marry--Mrs. Fox!
Bah! he consigned the latter, remorselessly, to perdition.
Whatever befell, he would speak to Kitty that very night--dear little girl!--he had wasted too much time already over his confounded doubts and fears, and had little enough time to spare. If she favoured him--why, he would be the luckiest, as well as the happiest of men! Some day, when he was absolutely sure of her and her love, he would confess his misconduct in the past, lest she should hear of it from others--she might; there was no knowing, with all those meddlesome cats about!--and perhaps he would obtain her forgiveness, after which he would be faithful unto her as long as they both should live. How fellows could--d.a.m.n!
Jack was shaving at the time and had gashed his chin in his agitation.
He was confident, while he soothed the spot with an antiseptic, that such a darling little girl as she, would never hold up against him anything he had done in pre-Kitty days. It would be unjust and unreasonable. Why, hang it all! who was there that was human who hadn't some little--or big--sc.r.a.pe to his discredit in his bachelor days?
Unfortunately, fellows were not gifted with second sight to know how they would feel when they came to be properly in love with the only girl in the world for them! The sickening sense of self-disgust----
Another accident with the razor, and Jack paid more attention for a time to the matter in hand.
When he was putting the finis.h.i.+ng touches to his tie, his fingers betrayed by their unsteadiness, his agitated frame of mind.
The worst of it was the blessed uncertainty of the whole affair. A fellow could never be sure of a girl like Kitty, or at any time take her feelings for granted. The least little bit of a liberty, and--hands off!
Yet she was adorable and, often, sweetly encouraging. Certain little concessions had been treasured in mind and dreamed of at night, such as a dainty wrist held out to him for glove-b.u.t.tons to be fastened; his blundering fingers allowed to a.s.sist her with her theatre wrap; their shoulders touching at a picture palace--a fact of which she had been unconscious, but which had thrilled him to the foundations of his being.
They were hopeful signs; but the indifference with which she could drop him for a whole day, so as to keep some idiotic engagement with giggling flappers, was enough to send any lover crazy!
Jack hurried downstairs in time to hang about the hotel pa.s.sage, waiting for Kitty to arrive by the lift with her sister so that he could accompany them to the dining-hall.
On this occasion Kitty was alone, Joyce having confessed to a headache, and they dined at their little table _tete-a-tete_.
"I can't think what is troubling her," the little sister remarked, "for she is fearfully worried, I know."
"Something, perhaps, in that letter you took to her a little while ago?"
suggested Jack.
"It was from a friend of hers at Muktiarbad."
"Honor Bright?"
"Yes--a strange idea to name a girl 'Honor'!"
"Her surname must have suggested it."
"Perhaps I should call it a happy idea. But supposing her character did not bear out the selection?"
"In her case, I should say it suits her admirably. She's a topping good sort."
"Is she pretty?"
"My chum used to think so, but not I. She's good to look at, anyway, and there's something straight and clean about her that does a fellow good.
She has fine eyes and nice teeth which go far towards beauty."
"I wonder what she could have written about, to upset my sister so completely?"
They wondered together, and grew more confidential over their mutual interest in the subject. Jack enjoyed every minute of the meal, trying to imagine he was dining with his wife,--an idea full of charm.
After dinner was over and Kitty had satisfied herself that Joyce was no worse, they strolled in the hotel gardens, at the corner of which was a summer-house. Jack who was trembling from head to foot with impatience and longing, drew her suddenly within where the shadows were darkening, and blurted out his tale of consuming pa.s.sion. "Can't you see it without the need of words? I am mad for love of you! If you don't want me, in mercy say so, and I shall go out there and drown myself."
He would have said a great deal more, only there was no need, for Kitty confessed that she wanted him more than anything on earth, and was only waiting for the initiative to come from him.
Her frank response enraptured Jack, and he caught her to his breast inarticulate with joy, while she, free of artificial coyness, surrendered herself to his embrace and gave him her sweet lips again and again.
Jack felt that he would have liked to have kicked himself all round Eastbourne for imagining that he had ever before known what it was to love! This was the real thing, and the bliss of it was unspeakable.
"And why didn't you give me the least bit of inkling that you had a soft corner in your heart for a blighter like me?" he asked when it was possible to indulge in connected conversation.
"Why did you take so long to know your own mind?"
"My mind was made up the instant I found out that you were not Mrs.
Meredith the afternoon I met you in front of the booking-office at Victoria. You surely have not forgotten our very first meeting? I could tell you in detail what you wore!"
Of course she had not, though she feigned to seem retrospective.
"I believe you were wearing a shot brown tie," she ventured, perfectly aware that she was correct.
"You remember that?" (An interlude of ecstasy.) "I went all the way to Richmond just to be able to look at you for a bit longer. I have been in love with you for quite a year!"
Doubt being cast upon his veracity, he explained his possession of her photograph, which fact she had long been aware of.
"I used to write poems about your eyes and your lips which I thought the most alluring in the world. Did I dream I should ever see and kiss them in reality?"
Silence again for a further interval of rapture.
"Now you will know how I have been feeling about going out to India! How is it possible for me to leave you behind? Can't we be married in a week?"
"We could," said Kitty, "but you forget there are others who will have something to say to that."
"Your parents?"
"Undoubtedly. One daughter in India is enough for Mother. I am not at all sure she will consent." It was very mischievous of her to distress him for the sake of delighting in the proofs of his abject slavery to herself, but Kitty was nothing if not human, and realising the completeness of her own surrender, was pleased to get back a little of her own.
His woe-begone look was almost melodramatic. "If they refuse their consent, what will you do?"
"I suppose I shall have to obey. I'm not of age, you know," said Kitty knowing full well that she was bound to have her own way, her parents having long ago resigned themselves to her strength of character and determination.