Any Coincidence Is Part 12

"They make such a wonderful couple," Betty sighed.

"A couple of what is what I'd like to know... Now listen here, Lovebirds!" The Lovebirds turned. "Whatever's going on, the people who are working with this guy," Ritchie said, pointing to the still unconscious Forrester, lying in the corner with a pillow under his head and Betty's second-best afghan over him, "meet at Seltsam. If the only place you can get to from there is that theater, then maybe that's where they are."

Tom slapped his hand to head. "The theater! The bas.e.m.e.nt! It's huge, and the Manager never lets me go down there!"

Alona smiled and said: "I knew you'd figure it out!"

Ritchie felt like reclining his chair all the way back and calling it a night, but his wife reached over and patted his hand, which was all the support he needed, all that he would ever need, to get up in spite of himself and do what had to be done.

24. Challenging a.s.sumptions "I have learned throughout my life as a composer chiefly through my mistakes and pursuits of false a.s.sumptions, not by my exposure to founts of wisdom and knowledge."

-- Igor Stravinsky

"And there's something else about this movement business," Justin began, still sitting on the floor and leaning back against a dry portion of the couch.

"Where did Cecil go?" Julia asked, looking around the corner into the bedroom.

"I don't know. The thing about this instantaneous movement is -- "

"Cecil!" she called. "Kitty, kitty, kitty!"

"He's probably in the bathroom," Justin grunted. "Hiding. He'll come out in his own time."

"I know, I'm just feeling paranoid right now."

"I understand. But the thing about this movement -"

"Look, I can barely follow physics when I can think straight -- which is not now -- so skip over that and just tell me where we go from here."

Justin sighed. What good was discovering something important if no one wanted to hear about it?

"There's only one thing we can do. We find Seltsam, whatever that is.

That's probably where they're operating from. I don't know what they're planning, but from what's written in here, it's big!"

"Uncle Justin, you've stumbled on the secret of instant travel, you've gone half-way around the world in the last hour or so, and you don't have the first clue where Seltsam is. Is that what you're trying to tell me?"

Justin grimaced. "Yeah. And with their freedom of movement, I'd say it could be anywhere on Earth."

"I think I can find out," she said, standing up and walking to the phone. She began to dialing, but suddenly stopped and turned to Justin. "Uncle Justin, would you mind... just going somewhere else for a moment? Like outside? No, go outside the normal way, through the door. Thank-you. And shut it behind you!" Justin allowed himself to be forced outside, where he waited at the top of the steps, wondering whether or not he could blip himself a coat if the wind got any colder.

"Oh, but baby!" Rhonda squealed on the other end of the line. "I'm not supposed to say! I didn't want to give you those cigarettes! Denny told me to!"

"Denny's in on this, too?!"

"Oops," Rhonda muttered.

"Well, forget Denny for a minute. I just need to know how to get to Seltsam. Is it an avenue? A street?"

"How to get to Seltsam-ee Street!" Rhonda sang, her voice growing farther away.

Just how wasted is she this time? Julia wondered. "h.e.l.lo! Earth to Rhonda! Put the phone back to your ear, darling. Tell me where Seltsam is and I'll let you get back to... whatever it was you were doing."

"Oh, I've been up to my eyeb.a.l.l.s in what I've been doing -- !"

Julia nearly hung up the phone, but decided she had to try one more trick before giving up. She leaned against the counter and tried to make her voice sound threatening. "Tell me where Seltsam is or I'll send you off G.o.d knows where!"

There was a sobering silence at the other end. "What?"

"You know what I mean. Zap! You're somewhere else. Only it'll be worse than Tranquil. Worse than Wisconsin!"

"Arkansas?!" Rhonda shouted with disgust.

"What's so bad about -- I mean, yes, Arkansas! Right in the middle of... of Hindsville! In Madison county. A dry county!"

"Oh G.o.d, no!" Rhonda wailed.

"Uncle Justin has the clipboard all ready... On the count of three?

One, two..."

"Stop! You win! It's Seltsam Way, the street behind the theater!"

"Where I just got hired? Was that all part of this too?!"

"Well, what do you think?" Rhonda said. "That it was all just coincidence?"

Julia stood listening to the silence for a moment, and then hung up the phone. Justin stepped out of the bathroom.

"I thought you were waiting outside!"

"It got cold. I didn't have my jacket!"

"I suppose you heard all of that," she said.

"Most of it. Where's Seltsam?"

"Seltsam Way, behind the theater."

"Oh yeah. I forgot about that road. Well, we better get going."

Julia picked up her keys. "Wait. You didn't see Cecil in there, did you?"

"Not unless he got inside the cabinets."

Julia went into the bedroom and looked around. She lifted the skirt of the bed and peered underneath. No cat. She looked in the closet. No cat (as far as she could tell, with all of her junk in the way).

"We have to get going," Justin commented.