More Toasts Part 157

"He never has to give the excuse that he has left his music home and can't play without his notes."

The love of praise, howe'er conceal'd by art, Reigns, more or less, and glows, in ev'ry heart: The proud, to gain it, toils on toils endure; The modest shun it, but to make it sure.

--_Young_.

Praising what is lost, Makes the remembrance dear.

--_Shakespeare_.

PRAYERS

A very nice and gentle minister accepted a call to a new church in a town where many of the members bred horses and sometimes raced them. A few weeks later he was asked to invite the prayers of the congregation for Lucy Grey. Willingly and gladly he did so for three Sundays. On the fourth one of the deacons told the minister he need not do it any more.

"Why," asked the good man, with an anxious look, "is she dead?"

"Oh, no," said the deacon; "she's won the steeplechase."

The two men were adrift in an open boat and it looked bad for them.

Finally one of them, frightened, began to pray.

"O Lord," he prayed, "I've broken most of Thy commandments. I've been a hard drinker, but if my life is spared now I'll promise Thee never again--"

"Wait a minute, Jack," said, his friend. "Don't go too far. I think I see a sail."

Lindsley had the little hen fast and was trying to bring her head close to the ground.

"What might you be trying to do?" exclaimed her father coming upon the small girl in the yard.

"I'm trying to make this hen say her prayers."

"Well," said the parent sadly, "I hope she'll say: 'Now I lay me.'"

BROWN (on fis.h.i.+ng trip)--"Boys, the boat is sinking! Is there any one here who knows how to pray?"

JONES (eagerly)--"I do."

BROWN--"All right. You pray and the rest of us will put on life belts.

They's one shy."

A small boy, whose father is now on the other side with the Y.M.C.A., was taught to say at the end of his prayer, "Please, G.o.d, make Graham a good boy." One night he did not say it, and when his mother asked him if he had not forgotten something, he said, "No; I thought I was asking too much of G.o.d. I'd better do more myself."

GRANDSON (who hasn't decided yet just what branch of the service will have the benefit of his talents)--"There seems to be quite a diversity of opinion regarding what prayer to say in response to the Senate's request for daily prayer for victory."

GRANDMA (industriously knitting)--"Guess any of 'em will do, so long as it isn't 'Now I lay me down to sleep.'"

"The proper way for a man to pray,"

Said Deacon Lemuel Keyes, "And the only proper att.i.tude Is down upon his knees."

"No, I should say the way to pray,"

Said Rev. Doctor Wise, "Is standing straight with outstretched arms And rapt and upturned eyes."

"Oh, no, no, no," said Elder Slow, "Such posture is too proud; A man should pray with eyes fast closed And head contritely bowed."

"It seems to me his hands should be Austerely clasped in front, With both thumbs pointing to the ground,"

Said Rev. Doctor Blunt.

"Last year I fell in Hodgkin's well Head first," said Cyrus Brown, "With both my heels a-stickin' up, My head a-pinting down;

"An' I made a prayer right then an' there-- Best prayer I ever said, The prayingest prayer I ever prayed, A-standing on my head."

--_Sam Walter Foss_.

A young mother was about to hear her small girl's prayers when a neighbor called and said she must see the mother right away. They had been talking at the front door several minutes when a reproachful little voice came from the top of the stairway:

"Mamma, aren't you 'shamed to keep G.o.d waiting so long?"

It was the week before little Willie's birthday, and he was on his knees at his bedside pet.i.tioning Divine Providence for presents in a very loud voice.

"Please send me," he shouted, "a bicycle, a tool chest, a--"

"What are you praying so loud for?" his younger brother interrupted.

"G.o.d ain't deaf."

"I know he ain't," said little Willie, winking toward the next room, "but grandma is."

MARJORIE--"Will I get everything I pray for, mama?"

MOTHER (cautiously)--"Everything that's good for you, dear."

MARJORIE (disgustedly)--"Oh, what's the use, then; I get that anyway."--_Life_.

One day little Flora was taken to have an aching tooth removed. That night, while she was saying her prayers, her mother was surprised to hear her say: "And forgive us our debts as we forgive our dentists."--_Everybody's_.