More Toasts Part 160

PRETENSION

Pretension is a kind of velvet cloak I wear to hide my real self from view, And yet where'er I meet with other folk I always find they wear this garment too.

Pretension is a kind of golden veil Behind whose mesh I seek to hide my face, And yet where'er I go I never fail To see that others wear it too with grace.

Pretension is a thing I say I hate In both myself and in my dearest friend, And yet whene'er I slyly watch and wait I find in some regard we all pretend.

--_Ernest Powell_.

Where there is much pretension, much has been borrowed: Nature never pretends.--_Lavater_.

When half-G.o.ds go, the G.o.ds arrive.--_Emerson_.

PRICES

"Have any trouble in getting your money back?"

"Not a bit," replied the dissatisfied purchaser. "But I got the worst of it, as usual. The price of the article had jumped so by the time I got back to the store that they made a profit by getting it in stock again."

Jean longed for a kitten. When illness made it necessary for Jean to go to the hospital, her mother said:

"I will make a bargain with you, Jean. If you will be a brave little girl about your operation, you shall have the nicest kitten I can find."

Jean took the ether, but later, as she came out from under the anesthetic, she realized how very wretched she felt. The nurse leaned over to catch her first spoken word.

"What a b.u.m way to get a cat!" moaned the child.--_Harper's_.

The most cheerful sign is that counterfeiters are again finding it worth while to make money.

PRIDE

Randolph Bourne, a brilliant American writer who recently died, left many thoughts that stand out like cut diamonds. Here is one: "Only Pride is creation."

Pride forms one of the towering pillars in the structure of efficient performance.

Not until you feel the worth of what you do, are you able freely to dominate and achieve. Through the hard days of darkness and discouragement, up and beyond the gruelling grades of steep ways, are you asked to go if you desire substantial reward. It takes pride to endure.

It is pride in a man's heart that makes him a willing gift, in mind and body, to be taken in hand by some great idea or n.o.ble cause.

Pride does not stoop to littleness. Rather does it see in the signs of unselfishness and sacrifice the elements that lead to eternal character.

Life is but a link in the chain of everlasting good.

If a man dies, does lie live again? Yes, for a man lives forever in the deeds and thoughts of his life expression. And every man who shall pa.s.s his thought through every age that has been, shall be whitened and renewed, to go on his way the better for every creative thought left behind.

It's the pride in a man's soul that leads him on!

Pride creates first--then contributes in natural turn.

Until we become too proud to stoop to mean ways and unworthy ends, we shall have tasted of but a sample of what life holds in substance and bigness.--_George Matthew Adams_.

To acknowledge our faults when we are blamed is modesty; to discover them to one's friends in ingenuousness, is confidence; but to preach them to all the world, if one does not take care, is pride.--_Confucius_.

PRINTERS

Some of the finest jokes extant come through the fact that the printer's finger slips. Here are some which, like all others, are funny a long, long, long time afterward--never at the time.

A Chicago paper reported that the propeller _Alaska_ was leaving port with a cargo of 40,000 bushels of cats.

A Buffalo paper, in describing the scene when Roosevelt took the oath of office as President, said it was a spectacle never to be forgotten when Roosevelt, before the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court and a few witnesses, took his simple bath.

PRISONS

BILL--"I see the authorities seriously object to the prisoners forging checks while in Sing Sing."

TILL--"Well, I suppose they think it is particularly bad form for the prisoners to do that sort of thing while enjoying the hospitality of the State."

VISTOR (at the jail)--"Poor man! What are you locked up here for?"

PRISONER (wearily)--"I suppose they think I'd get out if I wasn't."