More Toasts Part 216

7. Because men are men and women are women. We must not fly in the face of nature.

8. Because pockets have been used by men to carry tobacco, pipes, whisky flasks, chewing-gum, and compromising letters, we see no reason to suppose that women would use them more wisely.

WORK

Oh, would that working I might shun, From labour my connection sever, That I might do a bit or none Whatever!

That I might wander over hills, Establish friends.h.i.+p with a daisy, O'er pretty things like daffodils Go crazy!

That I might at the heavens gaze, Concern myself with nothing weighty, Loaf, at a stretch, for seven days-- Or eighty.

Why can't I cease a slave to be, And taste existence beatific On some fair island hid in the Pacific?

Instead of sitting at a desk 'Mid undone labours, grimly lurking-- Oh, say, what is there picturesque In working?

But no!--to loaf were misery!-- I love to work! Hang isles of coral!

(To end this otherwise would be Immoral!)

--_Thomas R. Ybarra_.

Labor is man's great function, He is nothing, he can do nothing, he can achieve nothing, fulfill nothing without working.--_Dewey_.

If you are poor--work. If you are rich--continue to work. If you are burdened with seemingly unfair responsibilities--work. If you are happy--keep right on working. Idleness gives room for doubts and fears. If disappointments come--work. If sorrow overwhelms you and loved ones seem not true--work. If health is threatened--work. When faith falters and reason fails--just work. When dreams are shattered and hope seems dead--work. Work as if your life were in peril. It really is. No matter what ails you--work. Work faithfully--work with faith. Work is the greatest remedy available for both mental and physical afflictions.--_Korsaren_.

I believe in the stuff I am handing out, in the firm I am working for; and in my ability to get results. I believe that honest stuff can be pa.s.sed out to honest men by honest methods. I believe in working, not weeping; in boosting not knocking; and in the pleasure of my job. I believe that a man gets what he goes after, that one deed done today is worth two deeds tomorrow, and that no man is down and out until he has lost faith in himself. I believe in today and the work I am doing, in tomorrow and the work I hope to do, and in the sure reward which the future holds. I believe in courtesy, in kindness, in generosity, in good cheer, in friends.h.i.+p and in honest compet.i.tion. I believe there is something doing, somewhere for every man ready to do it. I believe I'm ready--RIGHT NOW!--_Elbert Hubbard_.

I ask no odds of any man, I am not one that follies sway, I am the source of my rewards, I do my work each day.

It matters not if rich or poor, This is the future's great command, Who does not work shall cease to eat; Upon this rock I stand.

The fruit of trees, the grain of fields, Wherever use and beauty lurk-- The good of all the world belongs To him who does the work.

--_Max Ehrtnan_.

Are you trying to climb where the chosen are, Where the feet of men are few?

Do you long for "a job that is worth one's while?"

Well here's a thought for you:

The pots of gold at the rainbow's end Are sought by the teeming mob, But the fairies who guard them choose as friend The man that loves his job.

No matter what grip of hand he has-- How poor or strong his brain, There's always a place for the man who loves His work with might and main.

Does he dig in a ditch, or blaze a trail, Where the dreams of men may run?

No clod of earth shall shoulder him From his place out in the sun.

It isn't the kick, It's not the pull, That brings the strong man out; But it's long-time work, and it's all-time will, And cheerful heart and shout,

Have you faith in yourself? Do you want to win?

Is your heart for success athrob?

There's just one thing that can bring you in With the winners--love your job.

--_Stewart Lishear_.

_Work Makes Men_

"Work," as Henry Drummond said on the death of his friend John Ewing, of Melbourne, "is given man, not only, nor so much, perhaps, because the world needs it, but because the workmen need it. Men make work; but work makes men. An office is not merely a place for making money; it is a place for making men. A workshop is not a place for making machinery only; it is a place for making souls, for filling in the working virtues of one's life; for turning out honest, modest and good-natured men."

FIRST NAVVY--"Ye know, it's hard lines on Joe, 'im bein' so short-sighted."

SECOND NAVVY--"Why? Yer don't need good eyesight for our job!"

FIRST NAVVY--"No, but 'e can't see when the foreman ain't lookin', so he has to keep on workin' all the time."

A youth was being scored by his father for his flighty notions, his habit of s.h.i.+rking and general unreliability. "Hard work never killed anybody," the old man added.

"That's just the trouble, dad," returned the youngster. "I want to engage in something that has a spice of danger in it."

"Why don't you get out and hustle? Hard work never killed anybody,"

remarked the philosophical gentleman to whom Rastus applied for a little charity.

"You're mistaken dar, boss," replied Rastus; "I'se lost fouh wives dat way."

For whether he's wielding a scepter or swab, I have faith in the man who's in love with his job.

--_Sh.o.r.ey_.

WORRY

"Didn't you use to belong to a Don't Worry Club years ago?"