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With these fetters I gyved my own hands; Truly I became a much-deceived man.
At ten years old I learnt to read books; At fifteen, I knew how to write prose.
At twenty I was made a Bachelor of Arts; At thirty I became a Censor at the Court.
Above, the duty I owe to Prince and parents; Below, the ties that bind me to wife and child.
The support of my family, the service of my country-- For these tasks my nature is not apt.
I reckon the time that I first left my home; From then till now,--fifteen Springs!
My lonely boat has thrice sailed to Ch'u; Four times through Ch'in my lean horse has pa.s.sed.
I have walked in the morning with hunger in my face; I have lain at night with a soul that could not rest.
East and West I have wandered without pause, Hither and thither like a cloud astray in the sky.
In the civil-war my old home was destroyed; Of my flesh and blood many are scattered and lost.
North of the River, and South of the River-- In both lands are the friends of all my life; Life-friends whom I never see at all,-- Whose deaths I hear of only after the lapse of years.
Sad at morning, I lie on my bed till dusk; Weeping at night, I sit and wait for dawn.
The fire of sorrow has burnt my heart's core; The frost of trouble has seized my hair's roots.
In such anguish has my whole life pa.s.sed; Long I have envied the people of Ch'en Village.
[22] FIs.h.i.+NG IN THE WEI RIVER
[_A.D. 811_]
In waters still as a burnished mirror's face, In the depths of Wei, carp and grayling swim.
Idly I come with my bamboo fis.h.i.+ng-rod And hang my hook by the banks of Wei stream.
A gentle wind blows on my fis.h.i.+ng-gear Softly shaking my ten feet of line.
Though my body sits waiting for fish to come, My heart has wandered to the Land of Nothingness.[1]
Long ago a white-headed man[2]
Also fished at the same river's side; A hooker of men, not a hooker of fish, At seventy years, he caught Wen w.a.n.g.[2]
But _I_, when I come to cast my hook in the stream, Have no thought either of fish or men.
Lacking the skill to capture either prey, I can only bask in the autumn water's light.
When I tire of this, my fis.h.i.+ng also stops; I go to my home and drink my cup of wine.
[1] See "Chuang Tzu," chap. i, end.
[2] The Sage T'ai-kung sat still till he was seventy, apparently fis.h.i.+ng, but really waiting for a Prince who would employ him. At last Wen w.a.n.g, Prince of Chou, happened to come that way and at once made him his counsellor.
[23] LAZY MAN'S SONG
[_A.D. 811_]
I have got patronage, but am too lazy to use it; I have got land, but am too lazy to farm it.
My house leaks; I am too lazy to mend it.
My clothes are torn; I am too lazy to darn them.
I have got wine, but am too lazy to drink; So it's just the same as if my cellar were empty.
I have got a harp, but am too lazy to play; So it's just the same as if it had no strings.
My wife tells me there is no more bread in the house; I want to bake, but am too lazy to grind.
My friends and relatives write me long letters; I should like to read them, but they're such a bother to open.
I have always been told that Chi Shu-yeh[1]
Pa.s.sed his whole life in absolute idleness.
But he played the harp and sometimes trans.m.u.ted metals, So even _he_ was not so lazy as I.
[1] Also known as Chi K'ang. A famous Quietist.
[24] ILLNESS AND IDLENESS
[_Circa A.D. 812_]
Illness and idleness give me much leisure.
What do I do with my leisure, when it comes?
I cannot bring myself to discard inkstone and brush; Now and then I make a new poem.
When the poem is made, it is slight and flavourless, A thing of derision to almost every one.
Superior people will be pained at the flatness of the metre; Common people will hate the plainness of the words.
I sing it to myself, then stop and think about it ...
The Prefects of Soochow and P'eng-tse[1]
Would perhaps have praised it, but they died long ago.
Who else would care to hear it?
No one to-day except Yuan Chen, And _he_ is banished to the City of Chiang-ling, For three years an usher in the Penal Court.
Parted from me by three thousand leagues He will never know even that the poem was made.
[1] Wei Ying-wu, eighth century A.D., and T'ao Ch'ien, A.D. 365-427.
[25] WINTER NIGHT
[_Written during his retirement in 812_]
My house is poor; those that I love have left me; My body sick; I cannot join the feast.
There is not a living soul before my eyes As I lie alone locked in my cottage room.
My broken lamp burns with a feeble flame; My tattered curtains are crooked and do not meet.
"Tsek, tsek" on the door-step and window-sill Again I hear the new snow fall.
As I grow older, gradually I sleep less; I wake at midnight and sit up straight in bed.
If I had not learned the "art of sitting and forgetting,"[1]
How could I bear this utter loneliness?
Stiff and stark my body cleaves to the earth; Unimpeded my soul yields to Change.[2]
So has it been for four hateful years, Through one thousand and three hundred nights!