If Only etc. Part 30

ROSALINE (_scornfully_).

Wives, wives, wives!

(_Exit Rosaline_.)

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Rembrandt! Why did you keep me waiting--there's a sheriff's officer on his way here with a warrant. He has been at the house, and the servant ran round to Sylvester's to tell me. You must escape.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Escape?

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Fly!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I can't fly--I am not built for flying.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Then you must hide.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

Where?

MRS. TEMPENNY.

(_Pointing to room where Rosaline is concealed_.) There!

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

No, no, Hark!

(_Very heavy steps are heard ascending stairs_.)

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I hear a footfall.

MRS. TEMPENNY (_in terror_).

Hide yourself--quick.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_in terror_).

I can't.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Why not?

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY (_loftily_).

A hero never hides. Ah, I have it. I'll jump from the window.

(_Struggles into his coat and hat_.)

MRS. TEMPENNY.

There is the conservatory underneath.

REMBRANDT TEMPENNY.

I'll jump clear of it. Don't let him in for a minute.

(_He plants a lay-figure in front of canvas, with its back to door in flat, then proceeds to dress it up to resemble himself at work. Brush in hand, etc_.)

GROGGINS (_off_).

Mr. Tempenny!

(_Knocks at door_.)

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Who's there?

(_She goes to door, half opening it, so that_ GROGGINS _has a partial view of lay-figure_.)

GROGGINS.

I have a warrant here for Mr. Rembrandt Tempenny--matter of forty pun'.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

s.h.!.+ He is painting.

GROGGINS.

I can't help whether he's painting or not, marm. The question is whether he is paying or not.

MRS. TEMPENNY.

Man, my husband cannot be disturbed. Don't you see?--he is inspired.