A Bayard From Bengal Part 13

A certain Basilisk having attained great success in petrifying all who came under his personal observation, there was a Scheme set afoot to present him with some Token of popular esteem and regard.

"If we give him _anything_" said the Fox, who was consulted as to the form of the proposed Testimonial, "I would suggest that it should take the shape of a pair of Smoked Spectacles."

_Note._--The Satire here, at least, is obvious enough. Smoked spectacles are a very inexpensive gift.--H. B. J.

"How truly the Poet sang that: 'we may rise on stepping-stones of our dead selves to higher things!'" remarked the Chicken's Merrythought, when it found itself apotheosised into a Penwiper.

_Note._--A young lady, that shall be nameless, once presented me with a very similar penwipe, which represented a Church of England ecclesiastic in surplice and mortar-cap.--H. B. J.

"I shall not have perished in vain!" gasped an altruistic c.o.c.kroach, immediately before expiring from an overdose of Insect Powder, "for, after this fatality, the Owners of the House will doubtless be more careful how they leave such stuff about!"

_Note._--British c.o.c.kroaches, however, resemble Emperor Mithridates in being totally impervious to beetle poison.--H. B. J.

The Sheep was so exceedingly tough and old, that the Wolf had thoughts of becoming a Vegetarian.

_Note._--When we see some person attaining Centenarian longevity, we are foolishly inclined to fancy that, by adopting their diet, we also are to become Methusalems!--H. B. J.

A certain Ant that had lost its All owing to the sudden collapse of the Bank in which its savings were invested, applied to a Gra.s.shopper for a small temporary advance.

"I am sorry, dear boy," chirpily replied the Gra.s.shopper, "that, although I am playing to big business every evening, I have not put by a single grain. However, I will get up a _matinee_ for your benefit."

This he did with such success that, next winter, the Ant was once more sufficiently prosperous to discharge his obligation by offering the Gra.s.shopper a letter to the Charity Organisation Society!

_Note._--The application of this is that a kind action is never really thrown away.--H. B. J.

"I never feel quite myself till I've had a good bath!" said the Bird whom an elderly Lady had purchased from a Street Boy as a Goldfinch.

And behold, when the Bird came out of its saucer of water, it was a Sparrow!

_Note._--Like many Philosophers, Piljosh would seem to have had no great liking for ablutions. But water which could transform a Goldfinch into a Sparrow must previously have been enchanted by some Magician, so that our Parabolist's shaft misses fire in this instance (as indeed in many others!). Possibly, however, his Translator has once more proved a Traitor!--H. B. J.

"Pride not yourself upon your l.u.s.tre and Symmetry," said the Jet Ear-ring austerely to the Pearl, "for, after all, you owe your beauty to nothing but the morbid secretions of a Diseased Oyster!"

"I am sorry to spoil your moral," retorted the Pearl with much suavity, "but, like yourself, I happen to be Artificial."

_Note._--Inhabitants of gla.s.sy mansions should not indulge in lapidation.--H. B. J.

"Come!" said the Peac.o.c.k's Feather proudly to the Fly-flapper and the Tin Squeaker, as the final illumination flickered out and they lay in the gutter together, limp and exhausted with their exertions in tickling and generally exasperating inoffensive strangers. "They may say what they please--but at least we have shown them that the Spirit of Patriotism is not yet extinct!"

_Note._--This must refer to some Cryptic customs prevalent in the Parabolist's time. But I do not clearly apprehend what connection either tickling, fly-flapping, or squeaking can have with Patriotism!--H. B. J.

LAST WORDS

Here conclude the Parables of Piljosh, together with the present volume.

That the former can possibly obtain honble mention when compared with the apologues of Plato, aesop, Corderius Nepos, or even Confucius, I cannot for a moment antic.i.p.ate, and none can be more sensible than my humble self how very poor a figure they cut in proximity to the production of my own pen!

However, indulgent critics will please not saddle my unoffending head with the responsibility, the fact being that I was vehemently advised that, without some meretricious padding of this sort, my Romance would not be of sufficient robustness to produce a boom.

But should "A Bayard from Bengal" unfortunately fail to render the Thames combustible, I should rather attribute the cause to its having been unwisely diluted with such milk and watery material as the Parables of Piljosh.

So, leaving the decision to the impartial and unanimous verdict of popular approval, I subscribe myself,

The Reader's very obsequious and palpitating Servant,

HURRY BUNGSHO JABBERJEE, B.A., etcetera, etcetera, etcetera.