The Book of Humorous Verse - BestLightNovel.com
You’re reading novel The Book of Humorous Verse Part 74 online at BestLightNovel.com. Please use the follow button to get notification about the latest chapter next time when you visit BestLightNovel.com. Use F11 button to read novel in full-screen(PC only). Drop by anytime you want to read free – fast – latest novel. It’s great if you could leave a comment, share your opinion about the new chapters, new novel with others on the internet. We’ll do our best to bring you the finest, latest novel everyday. Enjoy
A REMEDY WORSE THAN THE DISEASE
I sent for Ratcliffe; was so ill, That other doctors gave me over: He felt my pulse, prescribed his pill, And I was likely to recover.
But when the wit began to wheeze, And wine had warm'd the politician, Cured yesterday of my disease, I died last night of my physician.
_Matthew Prior._
A WIFE
Lord Erskine, at women presuming to rail, Calls a wife "a tin canister tied to one's tail"; And fair Lady Anne, while the subject he carries on, Seems hurt at his Lords.h.i.+p's degrading comparison.
But wherefore degrading? consider'd aright, A canister's useful, and polish'd, and bright: And should dirt its original purity hide, That's the fault of the puppy to whom it is tied.
_Richard Brinsley Sheridan._
THE HONEY-MOON
The honey-moon is very strange.
Unlike all other moons the change She regularly undergoes.
She rises at the full; then loses Much of her brightness; then reposes Faintly; and then ... has naught to lose.
_Walter Savage Landor._
DIDO
IMPROMPTU EPIGRAM ON THE LATIN GERUNDS
When Dido found aeneas would not come, She mourn'd in silence, and was _Di-do-dum(b)_.
_Richard Parson._
AN EPITAPH
A lovely young lady I mourn in my rhymes: She was pleasant, good-natured, and civil sometimes.
Her figure was good: she had very fine eyes, And her talk was a mixture of foolish and wise.
Her adorers were many, and one of them said, "She waltzed rather well! It's a pity she's dead!"
_George John Cayley._
ON TAKING A WIFE
"Come, come," said Tom's father, "at your time of life, There's no longer excuse for thus playing the rake.-- It is time you should think, boy, of taking a wife."-- "Why, so it is, father,--whose wife shall I take?"
_Thomas Moore._
UPON BEING OBLIGED TO LEAVE A PLEASANT PARTY FROM THE WANT OF A PAIR OF BREECHES TO DRESS FOR DINNER IN
Between Adam and me the great difference is, Though a paradise each has been forced to resign, That he never wore breeches till turn'd out of his, While, for want of my breeches, I'm banish'd from mine.
_Thomas Moore._
SOME LADIES
Some ladies now make pretty songs, And some make pretty nurses; Some men are great at righting wrongs And some at writing verses.
_Frederick Locker-Lampson._
ON A SENSE OF HUMOUR
He cannot be complete in aught Who is not humorously p.r.o.ne; A man without a merry thought Can hardly have a funny-bone.
_Frederick Locker-Lampson._
