Contemporary One-Act Plays Part 63

HENRIETTE. It is better to stop right now.

JACQUES. Don't send me away like this. Don't----

HENRIETTE. I might give you false hopes. I have only to tell you that I shall never consent to be the wife of a man who cannot be the severest of censors.

JACQUES. [_Kneeling._] I beg you!

HENRIETTE. No, no, no, Jacques! Spare me that. [_A telephone rings in the next room._] There's the 'phone----

JACQUES. Don't go!

[HENRIETTE _rises hastily and goes to door_. JACQUES _tries for a moment to stop her_.

HENRIETTE. I must go. Go away, I tell you. I'll be furious if I find you here when I come back.

JACQUES. Henriette!

HENRIETTE. [_Coming down_ L. _to table_.] Not now! Please, Jacques.

[_Exit._]

JACQUES. I can't leave it that way. I am the husband who will make her happy. But how? That is the question. [_Pause._] Ah, Albert!

[_Enter_ ALBERT. _He shakes hands with_ JACQUES.

ALBERT. How are you, rival?

JACQUES. [_Gravely._] My friend, we are no longer rivals.

ALBERT. How's that?

JACQUES. I have just had a talk with Henriette; she refuses to marry either one of us.

ALBERT. Did she mention me?

JACQUES. Casually.

[_Both sit down_, ALBERT _on sofa_, JACQUES _on chair near it_.

ALBERT. What did she say?

JACQUES. Oh, I wouldn't repeat it; it wouldn't be friendly.

ALBERT. I _must_ know.

JACQUES. Very well, then--she said that you had not succeeded--nor had I--to find the way to her heart. Between you and me, we've got a high-minded woman to deal with, a philosopher who detests flattery. It seems you have been in the habit of paying her compliments----

ALBERT. I never pay compliments.

JACQUES. Whatever you did, she didn't like it. Moreover--since you want the whole truth--you seem to her a bit--ridiculous.

ALBERT. Pardon?

JACQUES. The very word: ridiculous. She wants a husband who will act as a sort of conscience pilot. Evidently, you haven't appealed to her in that capacity.

ALBERT. Sometimes I used to be rather sharp with her----

JACQUES. You did it too daintily, perhaps; you lacked severity. I'll wager you smiled, instead of scowled--that would have been fatal!

ALBERT. I don't understand.

JACQUES. Henriette is a singular woman; to get her, you have to tell her that you don't like her--her pride demands it. Tell her all her bad qualities, straight from the shoulder.

ALBERT. [_Feeling himself equal to the task._] Don't worry about that!

[_Rises and walks about._] I know women love to be told things straight out.

JACQUES. I'm not the man for that; nor are you, I suppose?

ALBERT. No? Jacques, I'm awfully obliged to you; you've done me a good turn----

JACQUES, Don't mention it----

ALBERT. You want to do me one more favor?

JACQUES. [_Devotedly._] Anything you like!

ALBERT. Promise me you'll never let Henrietta know that you told me this?

JACQUES. I promise; but why?

ALBERT. You know she has to understand that my behavior toward her is in character. Natural, you see.

JACQUES. Oh, you're going at it strenuously.

ALBERT. I am.

JACQUES. Your decision honors you.

ALBERT. Let's not have Henriette find us together. Would you mind disappearing?

JACQUES. With pleasure. I'll look in later and get the news.

[JACQUES _rises_.

ALBERT. Thanks, Jacques.

JACQUES. Good-by, Albert.

[_Exits after shaking hands cordially with_ ALBERT.