Sube Cane Part 24

"Ol' Hank Morley--" was all Sube could say.

"Maybe it's all right," said Gizzard rea.s.suringly. "He rung it himself, didn't he! Try it! Go on down!"

"I can't! He took the ladder away!"

As Gizzard sank back weakly, voices were heard in the gallery below.

"How many is there?" asked a hoa.r.s.e grating voice that they both recognized as Elder Jones's.

"They's a number of 'em all right," replied the s.e.xton. "Look at how they ringed that bell! I can't ring it like that myself, and I been practicin' on it for nigh thirty year! They must be half a dozen of 'em, at least!"

"Well, they can't get down till we put the ladder back; but you better wait here and watch for 'em while I step over to my house and 'phone for an officer. I won't be gone long."

And Elder Jones tramped out with a very determined tread emphasized at each alternate step by an equally determined rap from his cane.

Hank Morley sat down on the top step of the gallery stairs, his trusty lantern beside him. From his coat pocket he produced a fragrant Missouri meerschaum, and although smoking was strictly forbidden in the church, he felt that he was ent.i.tled to certain indulgences, and accordingly filled and lighted it. He had taken only a few puffs when he heard a noise behind him and glanced casually back over his shoulder. Instantly the glance became a stare that was far from casual, for, floating in mid-air between the floor and the ceiling he beheld two white figures that sailed back and forth gracefully and seemed to have no difficulty in navigating the thin air.

[Ill.u.s.tration: HE BEHELD TWO WHITE FIGURES]

Hank did not wait to take a second look. He had seen enough. Why tarry?

With one frantic bound he cleared the stairs. With another he crossed the vestibule, and with a third he reached the middle of the street. A few moments later he was in Hennessey & O'Brien's saloon calling hoa.r.s.ely for alcoholic aid.

"Say, ol' Hank's got a fine start for the Fourth," the barkeep murmured confidentially to his employer a few moments later. "When a feller begins to see ghosts, it's time to cut it out."

True to his word Elder Jones returned to the church only a short time after he had left it, and although he found the lighted lantern at the head of the gallery stairs the s.e.xton had gone. The elder was still awaiting his return when the two officers arrived.

And, as Gizzard had expected, Dan Lannon was one of them.

The ladder was replaced and a thorough search of the steeple was made, but they were unable to find any traces of the culprits save a small size toothbrush that was found in the bell chamber.

"Why don't you cut a hole for this bellrope?" asked Dan Lannon as he attempted to replace the scuttle and found the rope hanging through the hatchway.

"There is a hole over to your left, there, about six feet," replied the elder. "Those little rascals must have pulled it out when they was up above there. But what I'd like to know is, how'd they ever git out of that there steeple!"

"They might have slid down the rope," suggested Dan.

"Never!" cried the elder. "Never! Not with Henry Morley watchin' right here in plain sight! But I reckon that somethin' happened here while I was gone! Must have or Henry wouldn't have quit his post! Probably he's out chasin' 'em now! Wait till we hear from Henry--wait till we hear from Henry."

The elder went home with menacing mutterings and noisy cane-rappings on the sidewalk; but the officers were more fortunate. They met Henry Morley on the street within fifteen minutes after they left the elder.

Henry was in a very communicative mood, but the officers considered that he was more illuminated than illuminating.

"I most believe ol' Hank rung that there bell himself," allowed Dan Lannon. "I don't know as I ever saw him so lit up before."

"Likely he did," replied his brother sleuth. "More'n likely he did. When a feller gets so that he's seein' sperits floatin' round in the air, he's likely to ring anything."

Next morning when Henry Morley tendered his resignation and went to live with his daughter on a farm in the country, the officers felt that their deductions of the evening before had been amply verified.

But among those whose opinion really amounted to anything Sube and Gizzard were heroes.

CHAPTER XV

BISCUIT LEARNS TO SWIM

Biscuit Westfall's mother was a prudent woman; she had laid down the law that Biscuit could not go in swimming until after he had learned to swim. But when Biscuit tried to explain this to his friends, he succeeded only in raising a shout of tantalizing laughter. And although Biscuit knew that it was wicked to allow his angry pa.s.sions to arise, he seemed to be unable to control them. To stoop to the inelegant, the ridicule "got his goat."

"You ack like a lot of boneheads!" he burst out finally. "What's the matter of you, anyway?"

No words were said in reply, but the tantalizing laughter increased in volume.

"Go on, laugh!" he cried angrily. "And when you get through, laugh some more. What do _I_ care?"

Another outburst was the only response.

"What do I care how much you fools laugh?" he sneered, when once more he could make himself heard.

At this his tormenters began to roll about on the gra.s.s apparently quite helpless, and Biscuit, thoroughly disgusted, started for home.

"Hey, Biscuit!" Sube called after him teasingly. "Don't go home mad!

Come on down 'in'; and we'll teach you how to swim on the way down!"

But Biscuit did not so much as glance back.

"Learnin' to swim 'fore he could go in the water!" howled Gizzard derisively.

"That'd be like learnin' to eat without grub," suggested Sube as the party moved off in the direction of the swimming-hole.

When Biscuit walked into the house a few minutes afterwards, he came upon his mother in conversation with a tall young man, who, had he lived up to his teeth, would have been prominent.

"Yes, madam," the caller was saying, "we have added a number of new courses to our curriculum and are now in a position to offer to the world, I might say, universal knowledge. We now cover, I might say, the entire field of human endeavor.

"Take for example the ordinary day of life. It begins the instant one is out of bed in the morning. First, take our morning exercises. They come in our excellent course in _Physical Culture and Muscle-building_, with full directions how to increase your weight a pound a day"--he glanced at Mrs. Westfall and observing her ample figure, added--"also, I might say, how to reduce your weight to any desired figure.

"Next in order would come our course in _The Bath; How to Give or Take One_. After that would come our fas.h.i.+onable course, _Dress; What to Wear and When_. Follow this with our complete course in _Domestic Science and Home Economy_, which, I might say, contains a menu for three meals a day for three hundred and sixty-five days, or a full year. When the breakfast is prepared and on the table, our course in _Etiquette and Table Manners, the Science of Good Form_. This teaches one what to do when at the table; how to eat rare and unusual food; which fork to use; disposing of the discard; what to say, and many other difficult questions that are wont to arise at the table.

"Then comes the broad field of the day's work. Our courses cover, I might say, every known profession or employment from A to et cetera; from _Accounting to Zebra Raising_. For the evening a large number of courses will be found available. _Billiards, How to Become a Cue Expert_; _Bowling_, _Boxing_; _How to Train for the Ring_; _Dancing, Tango Taught in Ten Lessons_--"

Mrs. Westfall began to show signs of distress, and the young man instantly changed his method of attack.

"Madam," he said suddenly, "what is your hobby? What are you most interested in?"

"Why--why missionary work, I think," she stammered.

"Ha! I have just the thing! _How to Become a Missionary, Home or Foreign_. This is a most illuminating course, madam. Listen to some of the chapter headings: How to Approach a Heathen, Outwitting the Cannibals, Three Methods of Destroying Idols, How to Prove to a Savage That he is Naked, Junk from Missionary Societies--What to Do With it, 101 Ways to Raise Missionary Funds, etc., etc."