Dandy Dick Part 31

I--I am upset to-night, Blore. Of course you leave this day month.

I--I [_looking round._] Blore! He's gone! If I don't call him back the Spire may be richer to-morrow by five hundred pounds. I won't dwell on it. I'll read--I'll read. [_s.n.a.t.c.hes a book at haphazard from the bookshelf. There is the sound of falling rain and distant thunder._]

Rain, thunder. How it a.s.similates with the tempest of my mind! I'll read. Bless me! This is very strange. [_Reading._] "The Horse and its Ailments, by John c.o.x, M. R. C. V. S." It was with the aid of this volume that I used to doctor my old mare at Oxford. A leaf turned down. [_Reading._] "Simple remedies for chills--the Bolus." The helpless beast in my stable is suffering from a chill. Good gracious!

If I allow Blore to risk my fifty pounds on Dandy d.i.c.k, surely it would be advisable to administer this Bolus to the poor animal without delay. [_Referring to the book hastily._] I have these drugs in my chest. There's not a moment to be lost! [_Going to the bell and ringing._] I shall want help. I'll fetch my medicine chest.

[_He lays the book upon the table and goes into the Library._

_BLORE enters._

BLORE.

[_Looking round._] Where is he? The bell rang. The Dean's puzzling me with his uncommon behavior, that he is.

[_THE DEAN comes from the Library, carrying a large medicine chest. On encountering BLORE he starts and turns away his head, the picture of guilt._

THE DEAN.

Blore, I feel it would be a humane act to administer to the poor ignorant animal in my stable a simple Bolus as a precaution against chill. I rely upon your aid and discretion in ministering to any guest in the Deanery.

BLORE.

[_In a whisper._] I see, sir--you ain't going to lose half a chance for to-morrow, sir--you're a knowin' one, sir, as the sayin' goes!

THE DEAN.

[_Shrinking from BLORE with a groan._] Oh! [_He places the medicine chest on the table and takes up the book. Handing the book to BLORE with his finger on a page._] Fetch these humble but necessary articles from the kitchen--quick. I'll mix the Bolus here. [_BLORE goes out quickly._] It is exactly seven and twenty years since I last approached a horse medically. [_He takes off his coat and lays it on a chair, then rolls his s.h.i.+rt-sleeves up above his elbows and puts on his gla.s.ses._] I trust that this Bolus will not give the animal an unfair advantage over his compet.i.tors. I don't desire that! I don't desire that! [_BLORE re-enters carrying a tray, on which are a small flour-barrel and rolling-pin, a white china basin, a carafe of water, a napkin, and the book. THE DEAN recoils, then guiltily takes the tray from BLORE and puts it on the table._] Thank you.

BLORE.

[_Holding on to the window curtain and watching THE DEAN._] His eyes is awful; I don't seem to know the 'appy Deanery when I see such proceedings a'goin' on at the dead of night.

[_There is a heavy roll of thunder--THE DEAN mixes a pudding and stirs it with the rolling-pin._

THE DEAN.

The old half-forgotten time returns to me. I am once again a promising youth at college.

BLORE.

[_To himself._] One would think by his looks that he was goin' to poison his family instead of--Poison! Poison! Oh, if hanything serious 'appened to the hanimal in our stable there would be nothing in the way of Bonny-Betsy, the deservin' 'orse I've trusted with my 'ard-earned savings!

THE DEAN.

I am walking once again in the old streets at Oxford, avoiding the shops where I owe my youthful bills. Bills!

[_He pounds away vigorously with the rolling-pin._

BLORE.

[_To himself._] Where's the stuff I got a month ago to destroy the hold black retriever that fell hill?

THE DEAN.

Bills!

BLORE.

The dog died--the poison's in my pantry--it couldn't have got used for cooking purposes.

THE DEAN.

I see the broad meadows and the tall Spire of the college--the Spire!

Oh, my whole life seems made up of Bills and Spires!

BLORE.

[_To himself._] I'll do it! I'll do it!

[_Unseen by The Dean he quickly and quietly steals out by the door._

THE DEAN.

Where are the drugs--the drugs? [_Opening the medicine chest and bending down over the bottles he pours some drops from a bottle into the basin._] [_Counting._] Three--four--five--six. [_He replaces the bottle and takes another._] How fortunate some animals are!

[_Counting._] One--two--three, four. It's done!

[_Taking up the medicine chest he goes with it into the Library._

_As he disappears BLORE re-enters stealthily fingering a small paper packet._

BLORE.

[_In a whisper._] Strychnine! [_There is a heavy roll of thunder--BLORE darts to the table, empties the contents of the packet into the basin, and stirs vigorously with the rolling-pin._] I've cooked Dandy d.i.c.k! I've cooked Dandy d.i.c.k! [_He moves from the table in horror._] Oh! I'm only a hamatoor sportsman and I can't afford a uncertainty. [_As THE DEAN returns, BLORE starts up guiltily._] Can I help you any more, Sir?

THE DEAN.

No, remove these dreadful things, and don't let me see you again to-night!

[_Sits with the basin on his knees, and proceeds to roll the paste._

BLORE.

[_Removing the tray._] It's only an 'orse--it's only an 'orse! But after to-morrow I'll retire from the Turf, if only to reclaim 'im.

[_He goes out._

THE DEAN.

[_Putting on his coat._] I don't contemplate my humane task with resignation. The stable is small, and if the animal is restive we shall be cramped for room. [_The rain is heard._] I shall get a chill too. [_Seeing SIR TRISTRAM'S coat and cap lying upon the settee._] I am sure Mardon will lend me this gladly. [_Putting on the coat, which completely envelops him._] The animal may recognize the garment, and receive me with kindly feeling. [_Putting on the sealskin cap, which almost conceals his face._] Ugh! why do I feel this dreadful sinking at the heart? [_Taking the basin and turning out the lamp._] Oh! if all followers of the veterinary science are as truly wretched as I am, what a n.o.ble band they must be!

[_The thunder rolls as he goes through the window curtains. SIR TRISTRAM then enters quietly, smoking, and carrying a lighted candle._