The Dramatist; or Stop Him Who Can! Part 15

_Mari._ Oh! oh! oh! [_MARIANNE faints in LADY WAITFOR'T'S Arms._

_Lady._ Oh! I have gone too far, Mr Vapid!

_Vapid._ I fly, I'll call the servants. Have you got any drops?

_Lady._ I have some drops in this closet may recover her--hold her a moment, and for heaven's sake take care of her. [_Exit._

[_MARIANNE lays in VAPID'S Arms._

_Vapid._ Here's a situation!--Poor girl!--how I pity her! I really loved her.

_Mari._ Did you really love me, Mr Vapid?

_Vapid._ Hey-day! recovered!--here's incident!

_Mari._ But did you really love me, Mr Vapid?

_Vapid._ Yes I did,--here's stage effect!

_Mari._ And would you have really run away with me, Mr Vapid?

_Vapid._ Yes, I really would.

_Mari._ Then come along this moment.

_Vapid._ Hus.h.!.+--here's the old lady! keep dying, as before, and we'll effect the business--more equivoque!

_Enter LADY WAITFOR'T._

_Lady._ Well, Mr Vapid, how does she do? lord! she's in strong convulsions.

_Vapid._ Yes, ma'am, she's dying; where are the drops?

_Lady._ Here, sir.

_Vapid._ There are very few--are there any more of the same kind?

_Lady._ Yes, plenty.

_Vapid._ Fetch them,--'tis the only hope--if you have any hartshorn too, bring a little of that.

_Lady._ I'm quite shocked! [_Exit._

_Mari._ Well, Mr Vapid, now let's run away--come--why what are you thinking of?

_Vapid._ My last act, and I fear--

_Mari._ What do you fear?

_Vapid._ That it can't be managed--let me see--we certainly run away, and she returns--'faith, I must see her return.

_Mari._ No, no, pray let us begone, think of this another time.

_Vapid._ So I will--it will do for the fourth, though not for the fifth act,--therefore, my dear little girl, come away, and we'll live and die together.

_Mari._ Die together!

_Vapid._ Ay, "Die all! die n.o.bly! die like demi-G.o.ds!" [_Exeunt._

_Enter LADY WAITFOR'T._

_Lady._ Here, Mr Vapid--here are the drops!--What, gone!--ruined by a writer of epilogues!--Oh! I shall burst with disappointment! [_Exit._

SCENE II.

_Another Apartment in NEVILLE'S House--In the back Scene, Gla.s.s Doors, with Curtains._

_Enter LOUISA COURTNEY._

_Louisa._ Still in the same house, yet still afraid to meet him! Oh, Neville! my superior in every thing; how can I hope for your forgiveness? while you revealed an affection it had done you credit to deny, I concealed a pa.s.sion I might have been proud to confess.

_Enter VAPID and MARIANNE._

_Mari._ Oh! Miss Courtney! my sweet Miss Courtney! Mr Vapid, here, has run away with me, and I am so frightened for fear of Lady Waitfor't.

_Louisa._ Yes, she may well alarm you,--she has destroyed my peace for ever! but have you seen Mr Neville? yet, why do I ask!

_Vapid._ Seen Mr Neville!--What, doesn't he yet know you are in his lodgings?

_Louisa._ No, and I hope never will--the moment his brother returns, I shall set out for my uncle's, and perhaps never see him more.

_Vapid._ And why not see him, ma'am?

_Louisa._ Because I cannot bear the sight of one I have so injured.

_Vapid._ This'll do--mutual equivoque! equal misunderstanding! my own case exactly!

_Mari._ Your own case! Lord! you base man, have you got a young lady in your lodgings?

_Vapid._ Ridiculous! don't talk about young ladies at such an awful--the very situation in my comedy! the last scene to a syllable!--here's an opportunity of improving the denouement!

_Enter PETER._

_Peter._ Ma'am, my master is returned--the occasion of his delay has been a long interview with Mr Willoughby,--he doesn't know you are here.

_Louisa._ Marianne, excuse me--you'll be safe from Lady Waitfor't here--indeed I'm very ill.