Ten Thousand a-Year Volume I Part 40

"Wasn't bad-looking; but good looks and the condemned cell don't long agree together, _I_ can tell you!--Had many"----

"Ah, papa!" exclaimed Miss Quirk, in a mournful tone, and, leaning back in the sofa, raised her handkerchief to her eyes.

"You are too sensitive, my love!" whispered her aunt, Mrs. Alias, squeezing the hand of her niece, who, struggling against her feelings, presently revived.

"We were looking just now," said Mr. Hug, addressing Mr. Quirk, "at a very interesting addition to Miss Quirk's splendid alb.u.m--that letter of Grizzlegut."

"Ah, very striking! Value it beyond everything! Shall never forget Grizzlegut! Very nearly got him off! 'T was an '&c.' that nearly saved his life, through being omitted in the indictment. 'Fore gad, we thought we'd got 'em!"

They were alluding to an autograph letter which had been addressed to Mr. Quirk by Grizzlegut, (who had been executed for high treason a few weeks before,) the night before he suffered. He was a blood-stained scoundrel of the deepest dye, and ought to have been hanged and quartered half a dozen times.

"Will you read it aloud, Mr. Hug?" inquired Miss Quirk; and the barrister, with solemn emphasis, read the following remarkable doc.u.ment:--

"_Condemned Cell, Newgate,_ _Sunday night, half-past 11 o'clock,_ _30th April, 18--._

"SIR,

"At this awful moment, when this world is closing rapidly upon me and my fellow-sufferers, and the sounds of the wretches putting up the Grim Gallows are audible to my listening ears, and on the morrow the most horrible death that _malicious tyrants_ can inflict awaits me, my soul being calm and full of fort.i.tude, and beating responsive to the call of GLORIOUS LIBERTY, I feel prouder than the King upon his throne. I feel that I have done much to secure the liberties of my _injured country_.

'For Liberty, glorious Liberty, Who 'd fear to die?'

Many thanks to you, sir, for your truly indefatigable efforts on my behalf, and the constant exercise of a skill that nearly secured us a _Glorious Acquittal_. What a Flame we would have raised in England! That should have _blasted_ the enemies of True Freedom. I go to Hereafter (if, indeed, there be a hereafter), as we shall soon know, not with my soul _crammed with Priestcraft_, but a Bold Briton, having laid down my life for my country, knowing that _Future Ages_ will do me Justice.

"Adieu, Tyrants, adieu! Do your worst!! My soul defies you!!!

"I am, Sir, "Your humble, obliged, and "undismayed servant, "ARTHUR GRIZZLEGUT

"To CALEB QUIRK, ESQ.

"'Tyrants grim, Will, on the morrow, cut me limb from limb:-- While Liberty looks on with terrible eye, And says, _I will avenge him by-and-by_.'

"ARTHUR GRIZZLEGUT."

The reading of the above produced a great sensation. "That man's name will be enrolled among the Sidneys and the Hampdens of his country!"

said Viper, with a grim and excited air. "That letter deserves to be carved on a golden tablet! The last four lines are sublime! They are worthy of Milton! He was a martyr to principles that are silently and rapidly making their way in this country!"--How much farther he would have gone on in this strain, seeing no one present had resolution enough to differ with or interrupt him, even if they had been so disposed, I know not; but fortunately dinner was announced--a sound which startled old Quirk out of a posture of intense attention to Viper, and evident admiration of his sentiments. He gave his arm with an air of prodigious politeness to the gaunt Mrs. Alderman Addlehead, whose distinguished lord led down Miss Quirk--and the rest followed in no particular order--t.i.tmouse arm in arm with Gammon, who took care to place him next to himself (Gammon). It was really a das.h.i.+ng sort of dinner--such, indeed, as Mr. Quirk had long been celebrated for. t.i.tmouse had never seen anything like it, and was quite bewildered--particularly at the number of differently shaped and colored gla.s.ses, &c. &c. &c, appropriated to his individual use! He kept a constant eye on the movements of Gammon, and did whatever he did (the two appearing moved by the same set of springs), and was thus saved not a few embarra.s.sments and annoyances. What chiefly struck his attention was a prodigious number of dishes, great and small, as if half a dozen dinners had been crowded into one; the rapidity with which they were changed, and plates removed, in constant succession; the incessant invitations to take wine, flying about during the whole of dinner. For a considerable while he was too much flurried to enjoy himself; but a few gla.s.ses of champagne succeeded in elevating his spirits to the proper pitch--and (had he not been checked) would soon have driven them far beyond it. Almost everybody, except the great folk at the very top of the table, asked him to take wine; and on every such occasion he filled his gla.s.s. In fact Gammon, recollecting a scene at his own chamber, soon perceived that, unless he interfered, t.i.tmouse would be drunk long before dinner was over. That gentleman had not imagined the earth to contain so exquisite a drink as champagne; and he could have fallen down and wors.h.i.+pped it, as it came fizzing and flas.h.i.+ng out of the bottle. Gammon earnestly a.s.sured him that he would be ill if he drank so much--that many eyes were upon him--and that it was not the custom to do more than merely sip from his wine-gla.s.s when challenging or challenged. But t.i.tmouse had taken a considerably greater quant.i.ty on board, before Gammon thus interfered, than that gentleman was aware of; and began to get very confident and voluble. Guess the progress he had made, when he called out with a confident air--"Mr. Alderman! Your health!"--whether more to that great man's astonishment, or disgust, I cannot undertake to say: but after a steady stare for a moment or two at t.i.tmouse, "Oh! I shall be very happy, indeed, _Mr. Gammon_," he called out, looking at the latter gentleman, and drinking with _him_. That signified nothing, however, to t.i.tmouse, who, indeed, did not see anything at all pointed or unusual, and nodding confidently to the alderman, gulped down his wine as eagerly as before.

"Cool puppy, that, Miss Quirk, must say," snuffled the offended alderman, to Miss Quirk.

"He's young, dear Mr. Alderman," said she, sweetly and mildly--"and when you consider the immense fortune he is coming into--ten thousand a-year, my papa says"----

"That don't make him less a puppy--nor a brute," interrupted the ruffled alderman, still more indignant; for his own forty thousand pounds, the source of all his social eminence, sank into insignificance at the sound of the splendid income just about to drop into the lap of t.i.tmouse. Mr.

Bl.u.s.ter, who headed the table on Miss Quirk's left hand side, and who felt that he _ought_ to be, but knew that in the presence of the alderman he _was_ not, the great man of the day, observing the irritation under which his rival was suffering, resolved to augment it as much as possible: wherefore he immediately raised his threatening double-gla.s.ses to his eyes, and in a tone of ostentatious condescension, looking down the table to t.i.tmouse, called out, "Mr. t.i.tmash--may I have the honor of drinking wine with you?"

"Ya--as, brother b.u.mptious," replied t.i.tmouse, (who could never bear to hear his name misp.r.o.nounced,) and raised _his_ gla.s.s to his eye; "was just going to ask _you_!" All this was done in such a loud and impudent tone and manner, as made Gammon still more uneasy for his young companion. But his sally had been received by the company as a very smart retort, and produced a roar of laughter, every one being glad to see Mr. Bl.u.s.ter snubbed, who bore it in silent dignity, though his face showed his chagrin and astonishment; and he very heartily agreed, for once in his life, with the wors.h.i.+pful person opposite to him, in his estimate of our friend t.i.tmouse. "Mr. t.i.tmouse! Mr. t.i.tmouse! my daughter wonders you won't take wine with her," said Mr. Quirk, in a low tone--"will you join us? we're going to take a gla.s.s of champagne."

"Oh! 'pon my life--delighted"--quoth t.i.tmouse.

"Dora, my dear! Mr. t.i.tmouse will take wine with you!--Jack," (to the servant,) "fill Miss Quirk's and Mr. t.i.tmouse's gla.s.ses to the brim."

"Oh no! _dearest_ papa---- gracious!" she exclaimed, removing her gla.s.s.

"Pho! pho!--nonsense--the first time of asking, you know, ah, ha!"

"Well! If it _must_ be," and with what a graceful inclination--with what a sly searching glance, and fascinating smile, did she exchange courtesies with t.i.tmouse! He felt disposed to take wine with her a second time immediately; but Gammon restrained him. Mr. Toady Hug, having become acquainted with the brilliant prospects of t.i.tmouse, earnestly desired to exert his little talents to do the agreeable, and ingratiate himself with Mr. t.i.tmouse; but there was a counteracting force in another direction--viz. the attorney, Mr. Flaw, who had the greatest practice at the Clerkenwell sessions; who sat beside him and received his most respectful and incessant attentions; Hug speaking ever to him in a low confidential whisper, constantly casting a furtive glance towards Bl.u.s.ter and Slang, to see whether they were observing him. In "strict confidence" he a.s.sured Mr. Flaw how his case, the other day, might have been won, if such and such a course had been adopted, "which would have been the line _he_" (Hug) "would have taken;" and which he explained with anxious energy. "I must say, (but don't mention it!) that Mr. Flip regularly threw the case away--no doubt of it! By the way, what became of that burglary case of yours, on Friday, Mr.

Flaw? Uncommonly interesting case!"

"Found guilty, poor fellows!"

"You don't say so?"

"Fact, by Jove, though!"

"How _could_ Mr. Gobble have lost that verdict? I a.s.sure you I would have bet ten to one on your getting a verdict; for I read over your brief as it lay beside me, and upon my honor, Mr. Flaw, it was most admirably got up. Everything depends on the brief"----

"Glad you thought so, sir," replied Flaw, wondering how it was that he had never before thought of giving a brief to Mr. Hug.

"It's a great mistake of counsel," quoth Hug, earnestly--"not to pay the utmost attention to their briefs! For my part," he continued in a lower tone, "I make a point of reading every syllable in _my_ brief, however long it is!"

"It's the only way, depend on it, sir. We attorneys, you know, see and know so much of the case, conversing confidentially with the prisoners"----

"Ay, and beyond that--Your practical suggestions, my dear sir, are often---- Now, for instance, in the brief I was alluding to, there was, I recollect--one most--uncommonly acute suggestion"----

"Sir--you're uncommonly flattering! Am particularly obliged to you! May I ask, what it was that struck you?"--inquired the attorney, briskly, his countenance showing the progress of Hug's lubricating process.

"Oh--why--a--a--hem!" stammered Hug, somewhat nonplussed--(for his little fiction had been accepted as a fact!) "No; it would hardly be fair to Gobble, and I'm sorry indeed"----

"Well, well--it can't be helped _now_--but I must say that once or twice latterly I've thought, myself, that Mr. Gobble has rather---- By the way, Mr. Hug, shall you be in town this week, till the end of the sessions?"

"Ye--e--s!" hastily whispered Hug, after glancing guiltily towards his brethren, who, though they did not seem to do so, were really watching him with ill-subdued fury.

"I'm happy to hear it!--You've heard of Aaron Doodle, who was committed for that burglary at----? Well, I defend him, and shall be happy to give you the brief. Do you lead Mr. Dolt?" Hug nodded. "Then he will be your junior. Where are your chambers, Mr. Hug?"

"No. 4, Cant Court, Gray's Inn. When, my dear sir, does the case come on?"

"Thursday--perhaps Wednesday."

"Then _do_ come and breakfast with me," quoth Hug, in a whisper--"and we can talk it over, you know, so nicely together!"

"Sir, you're _very_ polite. I will do myself the pleasure"--replied Mr.

Flaw--- and good-naturedly took wine with Mr. Hug.

This little stroke of business over, the disengaged couple were at liberty to attend to the general conversation of the table. Mr. Bl.u.s.ter and Mr. Slang kept the company in almost a constant roar, with descriptions of scenes in court, in which _they_ had, of course, been the princ.i.p.al actors; and according to their own accounts they must have been wonderful fellows. Such botherers of judges--particularly aldermen and police magistrates!--Such bafflers and browbeaters of witnesses!--Such bamboozlers of juries!

You should have seen the sneering countenance of Hug all the while. He never once smiled or laughed at the brilliant sallies of his brethren, and did his best to prevent his new patron, Mr. Flaw, from doing so--constantly putting his hand before his mouth, and whispering into Mr. Flaw's ear at the very point of the joke or story--and the smile would disappear from the countenance of Mr. Flaw.

The alderman laughed till the tears ran out of his little eyes, which he constantly wiped with his napkin! Amid the general laughter and excitement, Miss Quirk, leaning her chin on her hand, her elbow resting on the table, several times directed soft, languis.h.i.+ng looks towards t.i.tmouse, un.o.bserved by any one but himself; and they were not entirely unsuccessful, although t.i.tmouse was wonderfully taken with the stories of the two counsellors, and believed them to be two of the greatest men he had ever seen or heard of, and at the head of their profession.

"'Pon my soul--I hope, sir, you'll have those two gents in _my_ case?"