Hero? I've Long Stopped Being One Volume 2 Chapter 5

Lin Jie looked at Dong Xue'er, feeling uncomfortable.

"Are you normal, at least?"

"I'm not like them," Dong Xue'er said calmly. "And they're just a bit emotionally overwhelmed. They'll be fine after a few days in the mental hospital, so don't worry."

"Let's go with that, then. I'll be relieved when they're back to normal." Lin Jie said.

"Right, Lin Jie." Dong Xue'er hugged his arm all of a sudden. "I've realized that you're the only man for me. Let's go home quickly and make babies!"

"..." Lin Jie struggled for a long time before finally gritting his teeth and saying: "You need to go to that mental hospital for a few days, too."

"You sure about that? This might be your last opportunity to lose your virginity." Dong Xue'er teased Lin Jie.

"No problem! My generation ** is not sloppy, wretched and without face." Lin Jie was taking heavy damage. "I won't do this with you unless I'm sure you have fully recovered your mental faculties, or I will feel guilty. If you still want to when you come out of the mental hospital, we can make babies then."

"Screw it. What a boring guy! You definitely deserve to stay a virgin." Dong Xue'er said, letting go of Lin Jie's hand. "There goes your chance."

"...I knew it wouldn't last."

--

The next day, the H City Daily News printed the following headline. "High Mental Pressure on Superheroes Causes Several To Sign Into Local Mental Rehabilitation Center"

This incident didn't just make the news, but also resulted in an emergency convention of experts and professors.

"I guess I'll have to increase my workload for the next couple days." Lin Jie sighed helplessly. "I really want to know just what happened to them in that special training."

--

That afternoon, a giant lizard monster appeared on the streets in H City.

"Prepare to accept our punishment!" the Ten G.o.ds' Jyu Shen announced, taking a powerful pose opposite the lizard. The rest of the band began to play exciting background music.

Just as the atmosphere was getting good, a mace flashed into sight, and the lizard was smashed into the ground.

"It's this b.a.s.t.a.r.d again!" Jyu Shen stared angrily at Lin Jie.

The next day, a group of super villains arrived in town. Right as the Ten G.o.ds were about to begin their performance, the group got smashed. When the band leader pulled himself together, Lin Jie had already retrieved his mace and disappeared.

"This b.a.s.t.a.r.d!" Back in the office, Jyu Shen was ranting angrily, before asking his agent: "Which villain is next?"

"No one is interested in our offers," the agent said helplessly.

"But don't those guys specialize in getting beaten for money?" asked the Ten G.o.ds.

"Word is getting around in the criminal underbelly around here. H City's Decontamination Team has a formidable hero. n.o.body wants to risk running into him." The agent sighed. "The problem is that he's just too strong. No one will be a villain for hire around here anymore."

"It's that b.a.s.t.a.r.d again!" Jyu Shen was very angry: "How about I personally scout and hire an extra powerful villain to beat the c.r.a.p out of him. Then we'll come out and clean up the mess..."

"Great idea, and it'll also teach him a good lesson." The agent agreed excitedly.

While the main heroes of H City were out of commission, Lin Jie was forced to help out and keep the team's daily activities on track. Even Lin Jie himself didn't notice that he was unconsciously slipping back into his old habits from his Zero days.

Under his iron-like suppression, the crime rate in H City took an 80% drop in this short period. Outside of H City, word was already spreading that they had a powerful new talent.

Of course, Lin Jie's old habits also caused a lot of dissatisfaction among the ranks of his fellow heroes. After all, quite a few heroes got their enemies taken out in the middle of their fight. It's like when you play a game and find a formidable enemy, but then someone pops out, kill steals, and doesn't even leave you any a.s.sist experience.

The Ten G.o.ds were the most frequent one to have their villains poached by Lin Jie. If you wanted justification, Lin Jie could certainly have supplied some valid reasons, but it was as if he was laughing at those who were desperately trying to make a name for themselves. He always left immediately without saying anything.

So Lin Jie gained the t.i.tle of "Silent Club" in H City.

"Okay! I'll contact the B-cla.s.s criminal, The Butcher, to deal with him." The agent told Jyu Shen. "He's guaranteed to get humiliated this time."

"Please do." The Ten G.o.ds family all agreed excitedly.

So, the next day's headline was like this: "Breaking: D-cla.s.s hero K.O.s B-cla.s.s Villain The Butcher in a Rare Level-Crossing Victory"

This was followed by a special expert a.n.a.lysis: "Well... this incident is actually a very special combination of coincidences. After all, our level certification mechanism is very solid, and the strength of The Butcher can't be questioned. This can be clearly reflected in his previous record. Secondly, there are a lot of factors that can lead to a lower rank defeating a higher, such as the Butcher's relative positioning, his physical condition that day, etc..."

"If I keep listening to these guys, I'll start thinking I'm an expert professor myself." Lin Jie said.

"What is a superhero expert?" Lin Mumu asked curiously.

"The guys who specialize in theorizing on TV and fooling ordinary people." Lin Jie said: "Our Lin sis may become someone like that someday."

"Sister Lin will be an superhero expert someday?" Xiao Loli asked.

"Not necessarily, depends on what she wants." Lin Jie said.

"Ah brother! It's you!" Xiao Loli was excited to see Lin Jie in the video on TV: "My big brother is so powerful! Someday I will use the stick to knock down all the enemies, too!"

"..." Lin Jie's brain could not help but supply him with an image of Xiao Loli holding a huge mace several times taller than her, facing a monster, and then the news the next day: "The great female hero once again defeated the little monster..."

"Mumu, that sort of weapon isn't really suitable for little girls." Lin Jie said. "It would be better to let big brother teach you to use a different weapon."

"Okay!" said Xiao Loli happily.

"Well, it's almost time to go feed Doudou." Lin Jie said, pulling out a few packets of chilli sticks. "Doudou" was the name of the dog they had adopted a few days before.

"Okay, feed Doudou! Feed Doudou!" Xiao Loli was happy to tag along beside Lin Jie as he walked over to Xiao's apartment. They were still taking care of Doudou because Xiao Zhan had gone straight to the mental inst.i.tution upon his return.

Just as they reached the building entrance, a man with a hat and sungla.s.ses covering his face grabbed Lin Jie.

"It's really you!" the man said.

"Who are you?" Lin Jie looked at the man suspiciously.

"We need to talk," the main said.

"Mumu, go up and feed Doudou." Lin Jie handed Lin Mumu the chilli sticks he had been holding, then looked at the guy in front of him: "I've killed a lot of people in my time, so you have to tell me. Who are you here to avenge?"

"No, no, come with me." The man beckoned to Lin Jie: "There are too many people here; let's talk somewhere we can be alone."

"This is a real pain." Lin Jie said helplessly: "There's nothing I hate more than this kind of mysterious att.i.tude."

Presently, the two people came to a fairly abandoned green s.p.a.ce.

"Well, if you have something to say, let's hear it." Lin Jie said: "I can't let Xiao Mumu wait too long."

The man took off his hat and sungla.s.ses then, revealing his true face.

"Ah! You're that guy from the Ten G.o.ds who hired criminals to lose to you." Lin Jie recognized the face that could call forth the screams of countless fangirls.

"Are you making fun of me?" Jyu Shen's face wore a very ugly expression.

"So what do you need, calling me out here alone?" asked Lin Jie.

"I wanted to ask you what it will take for you to stop," said Jyu Shen.

"What is it that you want me to stop doing?" Lin Jie asked curiously.

"Don't play dumb!"

"I really don't understand what you're talking about," Lin Jie insisted.

"Then how about I put it this way!" said Jyu Shen: "What will it take for you to stop targeting me?"

"I targeted you?" Lin found this incomprehensible. "Why don't I remember ever targeting you?"

"Don't be pretend you don't know!" Jyu Shen was completely irritated by this response. "Every time we hire a super villain, you show up and K.O. them! How is that not targeting me?"

"What? You mean that all those super villains near you were actually hired by your company?" Lin Jie seemed to finally understand.

"Now, what do you have to say for yourself?"

"This...I'm only understanding just now; my old habits are not so easy to change." Lin said.

"Are you still trying to argue that you're in the right? I advise that you hurry and give it up." Jyu Shen glared at Lin Jie.

"I didn't specifically target you." Lin Jie said: "I just defeated villains whenever I saw them. I mean, that's my job, isn't it?"

"It seems you are not willing to give it up." Jyu Shen looked at Lin Jie: "But since you've decided to fight dirty, I guess I've got no choice but to do so as well."

"Fight dirty, my foot! Since when was this a compet.i.tion? Isn't superhero work just a public service?" Lin Jie found that this ikemen and himself had completely opposite worldviews.

"You just like to steal credit!" said Jyu Shen. "All those achievements should have been mine! I'm the one who rounded up the talent."

This said, Jyu Shen rushed at Lin Jie, throwing a flowing punch at his head.

"Since you want to fight dirty, I will play your game." Jyu Shen said as he sent a flurry of attacks toward Lin Jie. "You're just a D-rank! The one who loses has to give up being a hero!"

"There's something seriously wrong with this guy's perspective." Lin Jie said, avoiding the screaming Jyu Shen.

Lin Jie finally lost patience. He punched Jyu Shen between the eyes, sending him rolling across the ground.

"How?" Jyu Shen said incredulously: "How can you see through my movements?"

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Howdy! Sorry this is soooo late. Hope you like it! I'll try to post a few more chapters this week to make up for not posting any last week.

-miriga <3