Mr. Punch On Tour Part 8

FORCE OF HABIT.--Recently two bankers met abroad. They at once began to compare notes.

NEW NAME FOR SEA-SICKNESS.--_Mal de Little Mary._

MRS. RAMSBOTHAM wants to know whether the inhabitants of the Fiji Islands are called the Fijits.

[Ill.u.s.tration: YOUNG AUSTRALIA

SCENE--_Highland Gathering in the Antipodes._

"Well, my little man, so you're Scotch, eh?"

"Nae, nae, a'am nae Scotch, but ma pairents is."]

[Ill.u.s.tration: A SENSATIONAL DRAMA IN THREE ACTS AND FIVE TABLEAUX.

(_Showing how he got in for it and how he came out of it rather the worse for "wear"._)

MR. JOGGLES HAVING CAREFULLY SELECTED A RETIRED SPOT DEPOSITED HIS CLOTHES IN A CAVE SEES A LITTLE WAY BELOW HIM A SPARKLING POOL FED BY A TORRENT FROM ABOVE--A NATURAL SHOWER BATH, INTO WHICH HE WILL JOYFULLY DESCEND.

THIS IS WHAT HE EXPECTED BEFORE TAKING A DIP.

BUT A PICNIC PARTY HAVING TERMINATED THEIR LUNCHEON, UNWITTINGLY REARRANGE MATTERS.

MR. JOGGLES IS COMPELLED TO REMAIN OVER HIS USUAL TIME IN HIS BATH.

IN THE MEANTIME THE GOATS HAVE BEEN BUSY WITH HIS CLOTHES.]

FOR A CHANGE

f.a.gged and jaded, Daphne mine, For our annual change I pine.

Once again the problem's here, Whither we shall go this year.

Let who will seek lake or moor, "_Bad_" or hydro, spa or "_kur_,"

Switzerland and Germany Have no charms for you and me.

There while restless tourists haste, "Good old Margate" suits our taste.

On its old familiar ground We will make the usual round.

Meet Smith, Robinson and Brown, Whom we daily see in town; Hear the n.i.g.g.e.rs or the bands On the pier, the fort, the sands; Revel in each well-known joy, Then, when these enchantments cloy, And for change again we yearn, Why, then, Daphne, we'll return.

THE number of stowaways who secrete themselves in big vessels is becoming a growing evil. A Norwegian barquantine reached Plymouth on Friday with an entire cargo of hides.

A VERY REVOLTING PLACE.--Brazil.

[Ill.u.s.tration: French Tourist, on a visit to London for the first time, makes a note in his pocket-book of the name of the street in which his hotel is situated.]

a BERLIN.--Although Berlin is "on the Spree," its cheerfulness is considerably discounted by "the Oder" in its vicinity.

[Ill.u.s.tration: "JOINT OCCUPATION"

(_Suggested by Cook's Tourist in Egypt._)]

OVERHEARD AT CHAMONIX.--_Stout British Matron_ (_in a broad British accent, to a slim diligence driver_). etes-vous la diligence?

_Driver._ Non, madame, mais j'en suis le cocher.

_Matron_ (_with conviction_). C'est la meme chose; gardez pour moi trois places dans votre interieur demain.

[Ill.u.s.tration: PHILLIPOPOLIS

_Toper Major_ (_over their third bottle of a Grand Vin_). "I shay, ol'

f'ler, neksh year thinksh'll go see ex'bishun at Ph-Phipp at Philup-popple----"

_Toper Minor._ "I know, ol' f'ler. You mean Philipoppoppo--poppo----"

_Toper Major._ "Thatsh it--shame place. Have 'nother bo'l!"

[_They drink._

NOT SO PRETTY IN ENGLISH

(_Three Friends meet at Monte Carlo._)