Letters of Abelard and Heloise Part 9

Alas! I rave--nor grace, nor zeal divine, Burn in a heart oppress'd with crimes like mine, Too sure I find, while I the tortures prove Of feeble piety, conflicting love, On black despair my forc'd devotion's built; Absence for me has sharper pangs than guilt.

Yet, yet, my _Eloisa_, thy charms I view, Yet my sighs breath, my tears pour forth for you; Each weak resistance stronger knits my chain, I sigh, weep, love, despair, repent----in vain, Haste, _Eloisa_, haste, your lover free, Amidst your warmest pray'r----O think on me!

Wing with your rising zeal my grov'ling mind, And let me mine from your repentance find!

Ah! labour, strife, your love, your self control!

The change will sure affect my kindred soul; In blest consent our purer sighs shall breath, And Heav'n a.s.sisting, shall our crimes forgive, But if unhappy, wretched, lost in vain, Faintly th' unequal combat you sustain; If not to Heav'n you feel your bosom rise, Nor tears refin'd fall contrite from your eyes; If still, your heart its wonted pa.s.sions move, If still, to speak all pains in one--you love; Deaf to the weak essays of living breath, Attend the stronger eloquence of Death.

When that kind pow'r this captive soul shall free, Which only then can cease to doat on thee; When gently sunk to my eternal sleep, The Paraclete my peaceful urn shall keep!

Then, _Eloisa_, then your lover view, See his quench'd eyes no longer gaze on you; From their dead orbs that tender utt'rance flown, Which first to thine my heart's soft fate made known, This breast no more, at length to ease consign'd, Pant like the waving aspin in the wind; See all my wild, tumultuous pa.s.sion o'er, And thou, amazing change! belov'd no more; Behold the destin'd end of human love-- But let the fight your zeal alone improve; Let not your conscious soul, to sorrow mov'd, Recall how much, how tenderly I lov'd: With pious care your fruitless griefs restrain, Nor let a tear your sacred veil profane; Not ev'n a sigh on my cold urn bestow; But let your breast with new-born raptures glow; Let love divine, frail mortal love dethrone, And to your mind immortal joys make known; Let Heav'n relenting strike your ravish'd view, And still the bright, the blest pursuit renew!

So with your crimes shall your misfortune cease, And your rack'd soul be calmly hush'd to peace.

THE END