Hotel Andromeda Part 2

mating techniques and he had no intention of learning whether or not any of those rumors were true. "I'm very flat- tered," he said. "But I'm on duty." He pointed to the wall clock behind him. "All night"

"Don't you ever get a break?"

12.

Karen Haber "Uh, no. Never." Ranee, where are you? he thought. Where is the Security Force? Where is my mother?

A robot security drone rolled by and Lekvich wanted to call out to it but something kept him from doing so. He musn't insult the guest. He looked around the lobby at the endless flow of people, desperately hoping to catch the eye of some functionary. He could always press the Security b.u.t.ton, but he had not yet been told what would happen if he did so.

"Well, I can wait." The Saurian looked as though she were planning to lean against the console all night.

"So there you are!" a high voice cried.

A Saurian male half the female's size came hurrying through the crowd toward the concierge desk. He wore a s.h.i.+mmering cloak woven from the rarest full-spectrum textiles and had a diamond stud embedded in one green and scaly nostril. "There you are," he said again even more shrilly, "i can't turn my back on you for a moment."

The female rolled her dark eyes and turned to face her ac- cuser with a condescending air. "Raoul, calm down, dearest.

You'll have a stroke if you don't relax."

"Don't try to get around me, Celeste. I know what you're capable of."

She gave Lekvich a long-suffering look. "I've been waiting for you, darling. You know you always take longer to dress than I do."

*'I thought you would be waiting in the cafe," Raoul said, sniffing.

"I just paused to ask this charming young man for direc- tions." Celeste winked at Lekvich. He smiled wanly.

"I know where the cafe is even if you don't," Raoul said.

"Come along, now. Don't dally. I'm hungry enough to eat a dozen mice."

"But, Raoul, your digestion."

"And don't lecture me, Celeste. I said come along." He took her by the arm and steered her toward the restaurant transport tubes.

Celeste looked back over her shoulder and blew Lekvich a kiss.

Numbly, he waved.

Bzzzzt! Bzzzt! Bzzzt!

FIRST NiGHTER

13.

The console! Lekvich gasped and dived for the nearest light.

"Concierge."

"Lekvich, where have you been?" It was Ranee. He could have kissed her voice.

"I was talking to a guest."

"You know the rules about two rings per call."

"Yes, Ranee, of course. Forgive me."

"Now listen to me, Lekvich. I'm on deck seventeen. I got captured by Wolf Rackham-you know, the maintenance chief-on my way down from deck nine. He says he has to talk to me right now. Think you can handle things a bit longer? I'll be there just as soon as I can. How are you doing?"

Lekvich looked at me rainbow of call lights blinking ur- gently and swallowed. "Fine. I think."

"Good. Hold the fort." Ranee hung up.

The fort was bunking at Lekvich in every color imaginable.

"h.e.l.lo, concierge, please hold. Concierge, please hold.

Concierge, please hold. Concierge, may I help you?"

"Yeah, I was just swimming on deck five when a robot came in and dumped a load of sand in the deep end of the pool."

"Are you sure?" Lekvich said. "They're not programmed to do anything like that."

"Of course not," the caller said. "But some kids were play- ing around with its controls-they probably reprogrammed it.

There it goes again."

Lekvich could hear a faint splash and outraged cries.

"I believe you, I believe you," he said quickly. "I'll contact Maintenance right away." He hung up, buzzed Pool Mainte- nance, and reached for the next call.

"Concierge."

"My Poltronian guppy isn't doing well," the caller said in a waspish voice. "I was just down at the kennel and I thought it looked a little pink. 1 don't think you've got the right mix- ture of gases in its cell."

"Did you tell the kennel master, sir?"

"Of course, but do you think he'd listen to me? I want something done about this at once."

"Sir, it's really not my job-"

14.

Karen Haber "I don't care what your job is. If my guppy dies because of mistreatment I'll sue this hotel!"

Lekvich wanted to tell him to go ahead and sue: only a fool would bring a Poltronian guppy into an oxygen-rich environ- ment- But he was also worried that this man might just make good on his threats- He sounded like a troublemaker. And trouble must be avoided. The guest is always right, he re- minded himself once again. Always.

"I'll see what I can do, sir." Before he could say more, the guest hung up on him.

Lekvich turned to the next call. "h.e.l.lo, thank you for hold- ing."

"Is the null-g gym closed?"

"I don't know, ma'am. Have you asked at the fitness cen- ter?"

"Yeah, I tried there. The door's locked. They told me to call you."

"Oh." Lekvich Tor scratched his head. Why had they told her to call him? "Ma'am, I'll have to get back to you on that." He scribbled down her room number and went on to the next call.

"Thank you for holding." His feet hurt and he was begin- ning to feel pressure in his bladder. Would Ranee never come back?

"This is room 2360. We're checking out and we'd like a robot to bus our luggage."

Lekvich almost sighed with relief at the routine request.

"Right away, sir."

He notified the mech station and took the next call.

"We'd like to reserve a table for dinner tonight."

"This is the concierge. You want to call the restaurant."

"Isn't this the extension for the restaurant?"

Lekvich swallowed an impatient retort. "No, ma'am."

"Well, could you connect me to the restaurant?"

"It would be faster if you dialed direct, ma'am."

"I see. Thank you."

The next caller wanted a better room and Lekvich told him to call reservations.

The caller after that wanted to know where the environ- mental control in his room was, and if it could decrease the FIRST NtGHTER

15.

gravity at all, and what exactly would happen to alcohol at zero-g.

"You're not planning to drink in zero-g, are you?" Lekvich asked in alarm.

"Why not?"

"You can't do it unless you use a closed container and suc- tion straw," he said. "With a gla.s.s, you'll just get floating globules, which will splash on the rug and stain the uphol- stery when you restore the room to normal g."

The caller giggled, said, "Sounds like fun," and hung up before Lekvich could check the room number and notify Housekeeping and/or Security.

For a moment the board was quiet Lekvich indulged him- self in a hearty sigh and looked at his notes.

Now, let's see, he thought, room 5627 wanted me to call the kennel master about the guppy. Or was that room 5427?

Horrified, Lekvich realized that he couldn't read his own scrawl. Well, he did remember the guppy-he would call the kennel master first and worry about the owner later.

But what about that woman who wanted to use the nuli-g gym? Had he already called about that? And the man who wanted to experiment with drinking in zero-g, or was it the woman who wanted to do that and the man who wanted the gym? Lekvich Tor rubbed the bridge of his nose where it had begun to ache. His head was swimming. He checked the clock: had it really only been three hours? It felt like three days.

Bzzzt!

"Concierge," said Lekvich listlessly. "Can I help you?"

"Listen, you'd better get somebody down here right away,"

a frantic voice said.

"Where is here?" Lekvich asked.

"Pardon?"

"I mean, what's your room number?"

"Thirteen sixty-eight."

"What seems to be the problem?"