The Complete Poetical Works of Samuel Taylor Coleridge Volume II Part 179

These lines, which were inscribed in one of Coleridge's notebooks, refer to a 'Const.i.tutional a.s.sociation' which promoted the prosecution of Richard Carlile, the publisher of Paine's _Age of Reason_, for blasphemy. See _Diary_ of H. C. Robinson, 1869, ii. 134, 135. First collected _P. W._, 1885, ii. 405.

13

NONSENSE SAPPHICS[983:1]

Here's Jem's first copy of nonsense verses, All in the antique style of Mistress Sappho, Latin just like Horace the tuneful Roman, Sapph's imitator:

But we Bards, we cla.s.sical Lyric Poets, Know a thing or two in a scurvy Planet: Don't we, now? Eh? Brother Horatius Flaccus, Tip us your paw, Lad:--

Here's to Maecenas and the other worthies; Rich men of England! would ye be immortal?

Patronise Genius, giving Cash and Praise to Gillman Jacobus;

Gillman Jacobus, he of Merchant Taylors', Minor aetate, ingenio at stupendus, Sapphic, Heroic, Elegiac,--what a Versificator!

First published in _Essays, &c._, 1850, iii. 987. First collected 1893.

14

TO SUSAN STEELE ON RECEIVING THE PURSE

EXTRUMPERY LINES

My dearest Dawtie!

That's never naughty-- When the Mare was stolen, and not before, The wise man got a stable-door: And he and I are brother Ninnies, One Beast _he_ lost and I two guineas; And as sure as it's wet when it above rains, The man's brains and mine both alike had thick coverings, For if he lost one mare, poor I lost two sovereigns!

A cash-pouch I have got, but no cash to put in it, Tho' there's gold in the world and Sir Walter can win it: For your sake I'll keep it for better or worse, So here is a dear loving kiss for your purse.

S. T. COLERIDGE.

1829. Now first published from an MS.

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a.s.sOCIATION OF IDEAS[984:1]

I.--_By Likeness_

Fond, peevish, wedded pair! why all this rant?

O guard your tempers! hedge your tongues about This empty head should warn you on that point-- The teeth were quarrelsome, and so fell out.

S. T. C.

II.--_a.s.sociation by Contrast_

Phidias changed marble into feet and legs.

Disease! vile anti-Phidias! thou, i' fegs!

Hast turned my live limbs into marble pegs.

III.--_a.s.sociation by Time_

SIMPLICIUS SNIPKIN _loquitur_

I touch this scar upon my skull behind, And instantly there rises in my mind Napoleon's mighty hosts from Moscow lost, Driven forth to perish in the fangs of Frost.

For in that self-same month, and self-same day, Down Skinner Street I took my hasty way-- Mischief and Frost had set the boys at play; I stept upon a slide--oh! treacherous tread!-- Fell smash with bottom bruised, and brake my head!

Thus Time's co-presence links the great and small, Napoleon's overthrow, and Snipkin's fall.

? 1830. First published in _Fraser's Magazine_, Jan. 1835, Art.

'Coleridgeiana'. First collected 1893.

16

VERSES TRIVOCULAR

Of one sc.r.a.p of science I've evidence ocular.

A heart of one chamber they call unilocular, And in a sharp frost, or when snow-flakes fall floccular, Your wise man of old wrapp'd himself in a Roquelaure, Which was called a Wrap-rascal when folks would be jocular.

And sh.e.l.l-fish, the small, Periwinkle and c.o.c.kle are, So with them will I finish these verses trivocular.

Now first published from an MS.

17

CHOLERA CURED BEFORE-HAND

Or a premonition promulgated gratis for the use of the Useful Cla.s.ses, specially those resident in St. Giles's, Saffron Hill, Bethnal Green, etc.; and likewise, inasmuch as the good man is merciful even to the beasts, for the benefit of the Bulls and Bears of the Stock Exchange.

Pains ventral, subventral, In stomach or entrail, Think no longer mere prefaces For grins, groans, and wry faces; But off to the doctor, fast as ye can crawl! 5 Yet far better 'twould be not to have them at all.

Now to 'scape inward aches, Eat no plums nor plum-cakes; Cry avaunt! new potato-- And don't drink, like old Cato. 10 Ah! beware of Dispipsy, And don't ye get tipsy!

For tho' gin and whiskey May make you feel frisky, They're but crimps to Dispipsy; 15 And nose to tail, with this gipsy Comes, black as a porpus, The diabolus ipse, Call'd Cholery Morpus; Who with horns, hoofs, and tail, croaks for carrion to feed him, 20 Tho' being a Devil, no one never has seed him!

Ah! then my dear honies, There's no cure for you For loves nor for monies:-- You'll find it too true. 25 Och! the hallabaloo!

Och! och! how you'll wail, When the offal-fed vagrant Shall turn you as blue As the gas-light unfragrant, 30 That gushes in jets from beneath his own tail;-- 'Till swift as the mail, He at last brings the cramps on, That will twist you like Samson.

So without further blethring, 35 Dear mudlarks! my brethren!

Of all scents and degrees, (Yourselves and your shes) Forswear all cabal, lads, Wakes, unions, and rows, 40 Hot dreams and cold salads, And don't pig in styes that would suffocate sows!

Quit Cobbett's, O'Connell's and Beelzebub's banners, And whitewash at once bowels, rooms, hands, and manners!

July 26, 1832. First published in _P. W._ 1834. These lines were enclosed in a letter to J. H. Green, dated July 26, 1832, with the following introduction: 'Address premonitory to the Sovereign People, or the Cholera cured before-hand, promulgated _gratis_ for the use of the useful cla.s.ses, specially of those resident in St. Giles, Bethnal Green, Saffron Hill, etc., by their Majesties', i. e. the People's, loyal subject--Demophilus Mudlarkiades.'

LINENOTES:

[1-6] om. Letter 1832.

[7-8] To escape Belly ache Eat no plums nor plum cake Letter 1832.