Business Correspondence Part 9

Then the correspondent should be careful not to put the inducement so strong that it will attract out of curiosity rather than out of actual intent. Many clever advertis.e.m.e.nts pull a large number of inquiries but few sales are made. It is a waste of time and money to use an inducement that does not stimulate an actual interest. Many a mailing list is choked with deadwood--names that represent curiosity seekers and the company loses on both hands, for it costs money to get those names on the list and it costs more money to get them off the list.

The correspondent should never attempt to persuade a man by a.s.suming an injured att.i.tude. Because a man answers an advertis.e.m.e.nt or writes for information, does not put him under the slightest obligation to purchase the goods and he cannot be shamed into parting with his money by such a paragraph as this:

"Do you think you have treated us fairly in not replying to our letters? We have written to you time and again just as courteously as we know how; we have asked you to let us know whether or not you are interested; we have tried to be perfectly fair and square with you; and yet you have not done us the common courtesy of replying.

Do you think this is treating us just right? Don't you think you ought to write us, and if you are not intending to buy, to let us know the reason?"

If the recipient reads that far down into his letter, it will only serve to make him mad. No matter what inducement the company may make him later, it is not probable that it can overcome the prejudice that such an insulting paragraph will have created.

Some of the correspondence schools understand how to work in persuasion cleverly and effectively. Here is a paragraph that is dignified and persuasive:

"Remember also that this is the best time of the entire year to get good positions, as wholesalers and manufacturers all over the country will put on thousands of new men for the coming season. We are receiving inquiries right along from the best firms in the country who ask us to provide them with competent salesmen. We have supplied them with so many good men that they always look to us when additional help is required, and just now the demand is so great that we can guarantee you a position if you start the course this month."

Persuasion plays a small part in selling general commodities, such as machinery, equipment, supplies, and the articles of every-day business, but correspondence courses, insurance, banking, building and loan propositions and various investment schemes can be pushed and developed by an intelligent use of this appeal.

Merged with the persuasion or closely following it should be some inducement to move the reader to "buy now." Description, explanation, argument and even persuasion are not enough to get the order. A specific inducement is necessary. There are many things that we intend to buy sometime, articles in which we have become interested, but letters about them have been tucked away in a pigeon-hole until we have more time. It is likely that everyone of those letters would have been answered had they contained specific inducements that convinced us it would be a mistake to delay.

In some form or another, gain is the essence of all inducements, for gain is the dynamic force to all our business movements. The most familiar form of inducement is the special price, or special terms that are good if "accepted within ten days." The inducement of free trial and free samples are becoming more widely used every day.

The most effective letters are those that work in the inducement so artfully that the reader feels he is missing something if he does not answer. The skillful correspondent does not tell him bluntly that he will miss the opportunity of a life time if he does not accept a proposition; he merely suggests it in a way that makes a much more powerful impression. Here is the way a correspondence school uses inducements in letters to prospective students in its mechanical drawing course. After telling the prospect about the purchase of a number of drawing outfits it follows with this paragraph:

"It was necessary to place this large order in order to secure the sets at the lowest possible figure. Knowing that this number will exceed our weekly sales, we have decided to offer these extra sets to some of the ambitious young men who have been writing to us. If you will fill out the enclosed scholars.h.i.+p blank and mail at once we will send you one of these handsome sets FREE, express prepaid. But this offer must be accepted before the last of the month. At the rate the scholars.h.i.+p blanks are now coming in, it is more than likely that the available sets will be exhausted before November 1st. It is necessary therefore that you send us your application at once."

It is not necessary to offer something for nothing in your inducement. In fact, a good reason is usually a better order getter than a good premium. Make the man want your proposition--that is the secret of the good sales letter. If a man really wants your product he is going to get it sooner or later, and the selling letters that score the biggest results are those that create desire; following argument and reason with an inducement that persuades a man to part with his hard-earned money and buy your goods.

It is a never-ending surprise--the number of correspondents who cleverly attract the interest of a reader, present their proposition forcibly and convincingly, following with arguments and inducements that persuade him to buy, and then, just as he is ready to reach for his check book, turn heel and leave him with the a.s.surance that they will be pleased to give him further information when they could have had his order by laying the contract before him and saying, "Sign here."

There are plenty of good starters who are poor finishers. They get attention but don't get the order. They are winded at the finish; they stumble at the climax where they should be strongest, and the interest which they worked so hard to stimulate oozes away. They fail because they do not know how to close.

As you hope for results, do not overlook the summary and the climax.

Do not forget to insert a hook that will land the order.

Time, energy and money are alike wasted in creating desire if you fail to crystallize it in action. Steer your letter away from the hold-over file as dexterously as you steer it away from the waste basket. It is not enough to make your prospect want to order, you must make it easy for him to order by enclosing order blanks, return envelopes, instructions and other "literature" that will strengthen your arguments and whet his desire; and more than that, you must reach a real climax in your letters--tell the prospect what to do and how to do it.

The climax is not a part distinct from the parts that have gone before. Persuasion and inducement are but elements of the climax, working the prospect up to the point where you can insert a paragraph telling him to "sign and mail today." How foolish to work up the interest and then let the reader down with such a paragraph as this:

"Thanking you for your inquiry and hoping to be favored with your order, and a.s.suring you it will be fully appreciated and receive our careful attention, we are."

Such a paragraph pulls few orders. Compare the foregoing with the one that fairly galvanizes the reader into immediate action:

"Send us a $2.00 bill now. If you are not convinced that this file is the best $2.00 investment ever made, we will refund your money for the mere asking. Send today, while you have it in mind."

Here is a paragraph not unlike the close of dozens of letters that you read every week:

"Trusting that we may hear from you in the near future and hoping we will have the pleasure of numbering you among our customers, we are,"

Such a close invites delay in answering. It is an order killer; it smothers interest, it delays action. But here is a close that is likely to bring the order if the desire has been created.

"Simply wrap a $1.00 bill in this letter and send to us at our risk."

A writer who does not understand the psychology of suggestion writes this unfortunate closing paragraph:

"Will you not advise us at an early date whether or not you are interested in our proposition? As you have not replied to our previous letters, we begin to fear that you do not intend to avail yourself of this wonderful opportunity, and we would be very glad to have you write us if this is a fact."

How foolish to help along one's indifference by the suggestion that he is not interested. Just as long as you spend postage on a prospect treat him as a probable customer. a.s.sume that he is interested; take it for granted that there is some reason why he has not replied and present new arguments, new persuasion, new inducements for ordering now.

A firm handling a line very similar to that of the firm which sent out the letter quoted above, always maintains the att.i.tude that the prospect is going to order some time and its close fairly bristles with "do it now" hooks:

"Step right over to the telegraph office and send us your order by telegraph at our expense. With this business, every day's delay means loss of dollars to you. Stop the leak! Save the dollars! Order today!"

Another unfortunate ending is a groveling servility in which the writer comes on his knees, as it were, begging for the privilege of presenting his proposition again at some future time. Here are the two last paragraphs of a three-paragraph letter sent out by an engraving company--an old established, substantial concern that has no reason to apologize for soliciting business, no reason for meeting other concerns on any basis except that of equality:

"Should you not be in the market at the present time for anything in our line of work, we would esteem it a great favor to us if you would file this letter and let us hear from you when needing anything in the way of engraving. If you will let us know when you are ready for something in this line we will deem it a privilege to send a representative to call on you.

"Trusting we have not made ourselves forward in this matter and hoping that we may hear from you, we are,"

It is a safe prediction that this letter was written by a new sales manager who will soon be looking for another job. Such an apologetic note, with such a lack of selling talk, such a street beggar att.i.tude could never escape the waste basket. The salesman who starts out by saying, "You wouldn't be interested in this book, would you?" takes no orders. The letter that comes apologizing and excusing itself before it gets our attention, and, if it gets our attention, then lets down just as we are ready to sign an order, is headed straight for the car wheel plant.

Avoid in the closing paragraph, as far as possible, the participial phrases such as "Thanking you," "Hoping to be favored," "a.s.suring you of our desire," and so forth. Say instead, "We thank you," "It is a pleasure to a.s.sure you," or "May I not hear from you by return mail?" Such a paragraph is almost inevitably an anti-climax; it affords too much of a let-down to the proposition.