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"I'm glad you like it." She smiled.
"I'll use mine in my Bible." Miz Willow admired hers. "Such a fine piece of work. Little touches of beauty to enrich the heart."
Logan had gotten matching flannel nightgowns-one for his wife and one apiece for Miz Willow and Daisy. He and Hattie also gave Jamie a warm flannel nights.h.i.+rt.
I have so much to be thankful for.
As the day wore on, Daisy's smile began to fade. Is it possible to have too much to be thankful for? Piles of presents from Bryce surrounded her. In addition to the vanity set and velvet dressing gown, she'd received no less than two pairs of gloves, a delicate cream-colored shawl, and a store-bought wool dress with green piping. She'd never owned any store-bought clothing before the cloak Bryce had given her at the beginning of the winter.
Jamie sat beside her on his brand-new beginner saddle, cowboy hat perched atop his head slightly askew as he bent over to spin his top. So many expensive things. Suddenly, Daisy remembered the combs in her hair, and the gloves and scarf Bryce had already gotten Jamie.
It's too much! I'd never be able to buy half of all this if I worked my fingers to the bones for years! Why did Bryce get so carried away? How can I let him know how I feel without angering him? He meant well, but Jamie and I aren't charity! The coat I made him seems so paltry now, and he's still wearing it as though it's the grandest thing he's ever received.
Daisy got up and busied herself with picking up bits of brown paper and twine, putting them in a bucket to burn later. Needing a moment to herself, she decided to tote Jamie's saddle to the barn.
"I'll take that." Bryce smoothly slid the saddle from her arms and walked beside her.
Daisy didn't say a word, her thoughts all a jumble.
Bryce hung the saddle on the rail beside his own and turned to her. "Something wrong? I'll be careful teaching Jamie to ride."
"It's not that-" Daisy broke off.
"What is it?" He stepped closer to rub her shoulders.
"Stop it." She backed away. "Why did you get all those thangs for us, Bryce?"
"Didn't you like them?" Consternation painted his face.
"Of course. They're all wonderful thangs, Bryce," she hastened to rea.s.sure him. "But they're so much."
"I want to give you everything in the world, Daisy." He tried to draw close again, but she put out her palm.
"We ain't charity, Bryce." Tears of frustration filled her eyes.
"I never thought you were." He held her hand, brus.h.i.+ng his thumb across her palm. "Truth is, I want something in return." His eyes burned with meaning, sending a blaze of heat running up her spine.
"You don't buy love, Bryce." He dropped her hand like it was a hot potato, but she had to make him understand. "I never wanted yore money."
Chapter 23.
Bryce stared at the woman he'd come to love so desperately, trying to understand what it was she wanted from him. If you didn't have qualms about finances, then what- The only other possible explanation hit him like a punch in the gut. She meant she can't rely on me. Won't trust me to take care of her and her son. Daisy's grown so used to making her own decisions that she won't give up control for the compromise of marriage.
He realized Daisy was staring at him, waiting for him to explain why he'd showered her and Jamie with tokens of his love.
What do I say to her? How can I tell her what I overheard and ask her to explain? How can I not?
Bryce decided to lay it all on the line. "On the day Logan and I took Jamie sledding for the first time, I came back a little before the others." His throat grew hoa.r.s.e as he told her. "I heard what you said to Miz Willow."
He watched as Daisy began turning bright pink with embarra.s.sment.
What, 'zactly, did he hear? Daisy frantically tried to remember the conversation. Did he hear me and Miz Willow talkin' 'bout movin' to Californy? Is he angry that we even dared presume such a thang? Did he think I was trying to take advantage of his wealth? Her heart constricted. Best to approach this with caution.
"A woman has to think about these things," she hedged. Bryce's eyes darkened further, and she swallowed. Why cain't I say the right thang jist this once?
"So there's no other explanation?" His voice sounded toneless, muted, and flat.
"We're courting seriously now, Bryce," Daisy begged him to understand. "It's a lot to consider. I have to think about Jamie."
"I see." A muscle in his jaw ticked. "And what did I ever do to lead you to think that?"
Oh no. He doesn't want to take me and Jamie back to Californy. It's his home. It's where he planned on going anyway, but we never talked about it. I jist a.s.sumed that's what he had in mind when he said he was goin' to court me. Her spine stiffened. If I got that wrong, what else have I missed?
"You said you were staying to court me." Daisy planted her hands on her hips. "You promised you'd treat Jamie as if he were yore own. What was I supposed to think?"
"That I don't make promises I can't keep." Bryce's eyes snapped blue fire at her.
"So that's why we never talked about it?" Daisy fumed. He weren't makin' any promises on account of him not wanting to take us back to Chance Ranch. Why? Is he ashamed of us? A chill shot down her spine. Is he ashamed of Jamie? Is that why he don't want us to meet his kin?
"I thought you knew!" Bryce growled. "You're a smart woman, Daisy Thales. How could you think for even a moment that I would propose marriage to a woman with a son without-"
"Without what, Bryce?" she interrupted. "Without making sh.o.r.e you wouldn't have to be ashamed of us in front of yore kin?" Daisy blinked back tears for the second time that day. "How could I have been so foolish? You bought all those thangs to fancy me up because I'm too plain and not book learned. You don't think me and Jamie are good enough to take to Californy!" She whirled around.
She didn't make it through the door before he grabbed her arm, forcing her to stop and face him.
"Let me go!"
"No!" he roared, pulling her closer. "Don't you understand that I've done everything I have so I wouldn't have to ever let you go?"
The anger and pa.s.sion throbbing in his voice made Daisy stop trying to get away.
"What makes you think I could ever be ashamed of you? You're an amazing woman. I've pursued you every way I could think of so you'd be my wife." Bryce stopped shouting and looked at her in sorrow and disappointment. "How could you believe I'd be ashamed of you or Jamie? What? Because he can't use his legs? It doesn't matter to me, Daisy. I love Jamie like my own son."
"Then why are you so mad that Miz Willow and me talked about me and Jamie moving to Californy?" Her voice came out sounding small and sad, but she couldn't do anything about it.
Lord, I'm so confused. I hurt. Please holp me.
"What?" Bryce's brow knit in confusion. "I heard you say something else." He took a deep breath as though about to repeat something painful. "You told Miz Willow you couldn't rely on me to provide for you and Jamie."
"I never-" Daisy broke off as she recalled the very end of that conversation. "No. I didn't mean them words. You-"
"Heard them." Bryce stated flatly, cutting her off. "I thought you meant you weren't sure I had the money."
That's why he bought all those thangs-he was tryin' to prove he was a good provider! Daisy felt the faint stirrings of hope.
"Bryce, I know you're a good provider and a fine man. I seen you work with my own two eyes!"
"And now I know you don't *want my money.' " Bryce's eyes glinted in pain. "I know that you weren't talking about how you thought I didn't have the means to support you."
"No! I never thought that at all!" Daisy argued excitedly.
"So you meant you couldn't trust me." Bryce shook his head. "If you don't believe me when I tell you I want to take care of you and Jamie," Bryce kept speaking as he pushed past her, "then there's nothing left to say."
Bryce stopped in midstep as Daisy grabbed him by the back of the collar.
"Yore not goin' another step till I've had my say." Her fury all but steamed out of her as he turned around.
"Fine." He crossed his arms in front of his chest and waited. But we both know there's nothing you can tell me that'll change the problem. His heart ached. You're still not willing to share your life. Daisy, you won't even give control over to the Lord. So long as you rely on yourself, we're not spiritually suited. It's over.
"You cain't jist catch the tail end of a conversation and a.s.sume you know all there is to know." Daisy put her fisted hands on her hips and stared up at him. "For yore information, Miz Willow had said summat about how well-off you and Logan was, and how you'd take care of me and Jamie. What you heard me say was the end of my response."
Bryce listened closely as Daisy gave a deep sigh. "I tole her that a roof ain't no reason to marry up. Iff 'n we got married, it would be for love and nothin' else. Jamie's my responsibility, and I wouldn't marry you to ease my load."
Bryce took a moment to realize what she meant. She doesn't want me for my money. It's not that she doesn't trust me. She just wanted to enter into the courts.h.i.+p with a pure heart so love could grow. How could I have been so wrong?
"Daisy!" He enveloped her in his arms and clung tight. "I misunderstood."
"It's all right." She wiped her teary eyes. "Yore not the only one guilty of that."
"I thought you were still relying on yourself for everything, not giving control to G.o.d."
"I meant what I said this mornin', Bryce," Daisy spoke earnestly. "I've been wrapped up in my own works, and that cain't stand. Now I'm willing to trust in G.o.d's will."
"That's a big step." Bryce stroked her hair.
"And even though we misunderstood one another, I trust you, Bryce. I know I cain rely on you."
Bryce tipped her chin up and gave her a kiss. "Then I can't think of anything that could stand between us."
Bryce hoisted Jamie up into the saddle, then looped a length of rope around the boy and secured the other end to the pommel. "This'll help keep you on her back," he explained. "Now hold onto the pommel-this k.n.o.bby thing on your saddle-with both hands while I adjust your stirrups."
Winter's snowstorms hadn't abated, so they'd only go up and down the barn a few times. Perfect for Jamie's first riding lesson.
"Now take your right hand and grab the reins," Bryce instructed, making certain Jamie had a good grip on both the reins and the pommel. "When you want to go forward, flick this up and down, leaning forward just a little. When you need to stop, you pull back. Remember to be gentle so you don't hurt your mount." Bryce went to the horse's head and took hold of the halter to guide her. "Ready?"
"Ready!" Jamie leaned forward and shook the reins. The horse took a few steps forward, ambling slowly.
Bryce watched Jamie hold on tight as the horse swayed side to side while moving straight ahead. "You're doing fine, buddy," Bryce called. "This is what we call a walk. When you've had some more practice, and we have you outside where there's enough room, we'll move up to a trot."
"What t'ot?" Jamie asked, yanking back the reins as they came to the end of the barn.
"Gentle, remember?" Bryce gave a quick reminder on how to pull to a stop without hurting the horse. "A trot is a fast walk. You know how you're s.h.i.+fting a little from side to side as you go forward?" He waited for Jamie's nod to continue the lesson. "When you go faster, in a trot, you'll go up and down a bit, too."
"Oh." Jamie nodded solemnly. The little boy concentrated hard as they went up and down the barn a few more times.
Bryce waited until after they'd seen to the horse and gotten it settled back in its stall. Then he brought up the subject he'd been biding his time for.
"Jamie?"
"Yep?"
"You know that I like your ma, right?"
"She 'ike you, too." Jamie nodded, eyes big.
"And we both like you." Bryce tickled Jamie's tummy, making the little boy squeal with laughter.
"I live in California," Bryce continued. "I was wondering if you and your ma might go back with me."
"Cal'fa?" Jamie struggled with the state name. "Wher'?"
"A long ways away. That's why I want you and your ma to come with me," Bryce explained. "It's the only way I'll see you anymore."
"Don' go," Jamie instructed. "Stay."
"I have to go back. My family and my home are out there. If you and your mama were there, too, I wouldn't be missing anything. We'd all be together, and you could meet my nieces and nephews. Some of them are about your age, so you could play together."
Jamie frowned as he pondered this. "Wiwwo?"
"Miz Willow would stay here," Bryce answered honestly.
"Oh." Jamie scrunched up his face. "Why me an' Ma go?"
"I want your permission to ask your mama to marry me. She'd be my wife, and then you'd be my son. I'd be your second pa." Bryce held his breath and waited for the answer. He wanted to have Jamie's agreement before he proposed to Daisy. They were supposed to become a family.
"Pa?" Jamie's eyes lit up, and his face broke into a grin.
"So I can ask your mama to marry me, and we can all go to California?" Bryce asked.
" ' Es!"
"Good, because I need your help."
"Where's Bryce?" Daisy kept looking at the door every few minutes. "He was only going to put away the sled."
"Jamie and I'll go check up on him." Logan stood up importantly, picked Jamie up, and tromped out the door.
When Logan and Jamie didn't come back, either, Hattie and Daisy put on their cloaks to see what was going on.
"Jamie!" Daisy called. "Bryce?"