How to Write Clearly Part 7

BREVITY.

*46. Metaphor is briefer than literal statement.* See (13).

"The cares and responsibilities of a sovereign often disturb his sleep," is not so brief as "Uneasy lies the head that wears a crown,"

where the effect of care on the mind is a.s.similated to the effect of a heavy crown pressing on the head.

*47. General terms are briefer, though less forcible, than particular terms.* Thus: "He devours _literature_, no matter of what kind," is shorter than, "Novels or sermons, poems or histories, no matter what, he devours them all."

*47 a. A phrase may be expressed by a word.*

"These impressions _can never be forgotten_, i.e. are _indelible_."

"The style of this book is _of such a nature that it cannot be understood_, i.e. _unintelligible_."

The words "of such a nature that" are often unnecessarily inserted.

See the extract from Sir Archibald Alison.

*48. Participles can often be used as brief (though sometimes ambiguous) equivalents of phrases containing Conjunctions and Verbs.*

"Hearing (when he heard) this, he advanced." See (7) for more instances. So "phrases _containing_ conjunctions" means "phrases _that contain_ conjunctions." "_This done_, (for, _when this was done_) he retired."

Sometimes the participle "being" is omitted. "France at our doors, he sees no danger nigh," for "France being" or "though France is."

*49. Participles and participial adjectives may be used like Adjectives, as equivalents for phrases containing the Relative.*

"The never-_ceasing_ wind," "the _clamouring_ ocean," "the _drenching_ rain," are instances. The licence of inventing participial adjectives by adding _-ing_ to a noun, is almost restricted to poetry. You could not write "the _crannying_ wind" in prose.

*50. A statement may sometimes be briefly implied instead of being expressed at length.* Thus, instead of "The spirit of Christianity was humanizing, and therefore &c.," or "Christianity, since it was (or being) of a humanizing spirit, discouraged &c.," we can write more briefly and effectively, "Gladiatorial shows were first discouraged, and finally put down, by the _humanizing spirit of Christianity_." So instead of "The nature of youth is thoughtless and sanguine, and therefore &c.," we can write, "The danger of the voyage was depreciated and the beauty of the island exaggerated by _the thoughtless nature of youth_."

Sometimes a mere name or epithet implies a statement. "It was in vain that he offered the Swiss terms: war was deliberately preferred by the _hardy mountaineers_," _i.e._ "by the Swiss, _because they were mountaineers and hardy_." "The deed was applauded by all honest men, but the Government affected to treat it as murder, and set a price upon the head of (him whom they called) the _a.s.sa.s.sin." "The conqueror of Austerlitz_ might be expected to hold different language from _the prisoner of St. Helena_," _i.e._ "Napoleon when elated by the victory of Austerlitz," and "Napoleon when depressed by his imprisonment at St. Helena."

CAUTION.--Different names must not be used for the same person unless each of them derives an appropriateness from its context. Thus, if we are writing about Charles II., it would be in very bad taste to avoid repeating "he" by using such periphrases as the following: "The third of the Stewarts hated business," "the Merry Monarch died in the fifty-fourth year of his age," &c.

*51. Conjunctions may be omitted.* The omission gives a certain forcible abruptness, _e.g._ "You say this: I (on the other hand) deny it."

When sentences are short, as in Macaulay's writings, conjunctions may be advantageously omitted.

Where a contrast is intended, the conjunction _but_ usually prepares the way for the second of the two contrasted terms: "He is good _but_ dull." Where _and_ is used instead of _but_, the incongruity savours of epigram: "He always talks truthfully _and_ prosily." "He is always amusing _and_ false."

*51 a. The Imperative Mood may be used for "if."*

"_Strip_ (for, _if you strip_) Virtue of the awful authority she derives from the general reverence of mankind, and you rob her of half her majesty."

*52. Apposition may be used so as to convert two sentences into one.*

"We called at the house of a person to whom we had letters of introduction, _a musician_, and, what is more, a _good friend_ to all young students of music." This is as clear as, and briefer than, "He was a musician, &c."

*53. Condensation may be effected by not repeating (1) the common subject of several verbs, (2) the common object of several verbs or prepositions.*

(1) "He resided here for many years, and, after he had won the esteem of all the citizens, (_he_) died," &c. So, (2) "He came to, and was induced to reside in, this city," is shorter than "He came to this city, and was induced to reside in it."

Such condensation often causes obscurity, and, even where there is no obscurity, there is a certain harshness in pausing on light, unemphatic words, such as _to_, _in_, &c., as in the first example.

*54. Tautology.*--The fault of repeating the same word several times unnecessarily is called _tautology_, e.g.:

"This is a painful _circ.u.mstance_; it is a _circ.u.mstance_ that I much _regret_, and he also will much _regret_ the _circ.u.mstance_." But the fault is not to be avoided by using different words to mean the same thing, as, "This is a painful _event_; it is a _circ.u.mstance_ that I _much regret_, and he also will _greatly lament_ the _occurrence_."

The true remedy is to arrange the words in such a manner that there may be no unnecessary repet.i.tion, thus: "This is a painful circ.u.mstance, a circ.u.mstance that causes me, and will cause him, deep regret."

The repet.i.tion of the same meaning in slightly different words is a worse fault than the repet.i.tion of the same word. See, for examples, the extract from Sir Archibald Alison, at the end of the book. Thus "_A burning thirst_ for conquests is a characteristic of this nation.

It is an _ardent pa.s.sion_ that &c." Other instances are--"The _universal_ opinion of _all_ men;" "His judgment is so _infallible_ that it is _never deceived_," &c.

*55. Parenthesis may be used with advantage to brevity.*

"We are all (and who would not be?) offended at the treatment we have received," is shorter and more forcible than the sentence would have been if the parenthesis had been appended in a separate sentence: "Who, indeed, would not be offended?"

Extreme care must, however, be taken that a parenthesis may not obscure the meaning of a long sentence.

*56. Caution: let clearness be the first consideration.* It is best, at all events for beginners, not to aim so much at being brief, or forcible, as at being perfectly clear. Horace says, "While I take pains to be brief, I fall into obscurity," and it may easily be seen that several of the rules for brevity interfere with the rules for clearness.

Forcible style springs from (1) vividness and (2) exactness of thought, and from a corresponding (1) vividness and (2) exactness in the use of words.

(1) When you are describing anything, endeavour to _see_ it and describe it as you see it. If you are writing about a man who was killed, _see_ the man before you, and ask, was he _executed_, _cut down_, _run through the body_, _butchered_, _shot_, or _hanged_? If you are writing about the capture of a city, was the city _stormed_, _surprised_, _surrendered_, _starved out_, or _demolished before surrender_? Was an army _repelled_, _defeated_, _routed_, _crushed_, or _annihilated_?

(2) Exactness in the use of words requires an exact knowledge of their meanings and differences. This is a study by itself, and cannot be discussed here.[17]

FOOTNOTES:

[17] See _English Lessons for English People_, pp. 1-53.

EXERCISES

_For an explanation of the manner in which these Exercises are intended to be used, see the Preface._