Six One-Act Plays Part 26

SELINA--(_Pleadingly._) Please don't think me a heartless coquette. He's alone here in the city. I was just nice and friendly to him, and the poor fellow's fallen desperately in love with me.

GENTLEMAN--(_Gallantly._) I don't blame him.

SELINA--That's quite sweet of you, but it's made me very unhappy. He was engaged to a girl up the state, and I'm afraid she will blame me. Women are so cruel in their judgments.

GENTLEMAN--(_Soothingly._) Well if you don't love him--

SELINA--How can I? Yet I'm worried sick, for he has threatened to kill himself if I don't marry him.

BART--(_Springing up hysterically._) Liar!

KING--(_With deep conviction._) She's no ghost.

SELINA--(_To Gentleman._) Do you wonder I am unhappy?

GENTLEMAN--You certainly couldn't throw yourself away on a young puppy like him.

BART--(_Clenching fists._) Oh!

KING--Sit down!

SELINA--He hasn't been at his office since I refused him. I'm afraid he's done something desperate.

GENTLEMAN--Don't worry about him. What you want is a man with position and wealth. Now, if _I_ should say I loved you, and wanted to marry you?

SELINA--(_Quietly._) But you have not.

GENTLEMAN--(_With an embarra.s.sed laugh._) I'm trying to hard enough.

SELINA--Shall I say, "this is so sudden?"

GENTLEMAN--Heavens, no, not that stuff! Say "yes."

SELINA--But I'm not used to this sort of proposal.

GENTLEMAN--I don't mind being romantic, I'll get down on my knees, if you like.

SELINA--Don't don't, the floor's dirty.

GENTLEMAN--Well then, say "yes."

SELINA--But you've known me scarcely two weeks.

GENTLEMAN--And loved you the first time I saw you.

SELINA--I wish I'd known it.

BART--(_Heartily._) So do I.

GENTLEMAN--I'm telling you now, isn't that enough?

SELINA--I've no family, no money save a small allowance from my mother's estate. I'm really a very poor girl.

GENTLEMAN--Don't worry about that, I've money enough for two.

SELINA--The little income I get barely keeps me, but I've managed to live on it for eight years.

KING--(_Grimly._) You've got your last check from me, mother dear!

GENTLEMAN--Poor little woman, what a struggle you must have had to keep up appearances. (_Horn blows outside._) Come, there's Thompson. We can announce our engagement at the dinner.

(_The Gentleman helps Selina into her wraps, while Bart and King again hide behind counter. Miss Brown enters. She is in a fine rage._)

MISS BROWN--The way law's handed out in this town's a crime, a howlin'

crime!

BOY--What's eatin' ye now?

MISS BROWN--Lieut. Mason let them murderers off. He's a fool, that's what he is, a soft pie-eyed fool!

BOY--Aw, forget it!

MISS BROWN--Don't tell me to forget it, or I'll slap your face for ye, ye rat.

(_Chases Boy behind counter, and b.u.mps into King._) Holy cats!

KING--(_In a whisper of suppressed rage._) Woman, give me my cane.

MISS BROWN--(_Goes to door and shrieks._) Police, police!

(_Selina and Gentleman are about to leave, but Selina pulls Gentleman behind screen again._)

SELINA--(_To Gentleman._) Come back!

BART--What's she going to do now?

BOY--Better leave her be, she's got her dander up.

(_Enter Officer._)

OFFICER--What do ye want now, Miss Brown?

MISS BROWN--Call 'em innocent, if you like, but I got a hunch they're crooks, and I want you to clear them out of my cafe, see?

OFFICER--You got me in wrong once. I ain't huntin' trouble.

SELINA--(_To Gentleman, who urges her forward._) No, no, stay here till they go.