Baka to Test to Shoukanjuu‎ Vol 2 Chapter 1

"...Yuuji."

"What?"

"Do you know about 'Kisaragi Highland'?"

"Ah, you're talking about the huge theme park that is under construction, right? Seems like it's about to be opened soon."

"...There seems to be a very scary haunted house inside."

"Oh, the one that they remodeled from the abandoned hospital? Sounds interesting."

"...And the best Ferris Wheel in j.a.pan."

"Ooo, seems rather large. It sure sounds impressive."

"...And the world's third fastest roller coaster."

"It's that facility that accelerates many times and keeps spinning around. Though I don't know how it looks like, it sure makes me excited."

"...And there are many other interesting things."

"That's great, it'll be really fun."

"...Then, when that place opens, we should..."

"Yeah, I know what you want to say. If you want to go there—"

"...Nn."

"Go there with a friend."

"I have confidence in my grip."

"GUAAHHHH! Don't use the devil's grip on me!"

"...I want to go with Yuuji, the two of us."

"The opening ceremony will be crowded, I don't want to—AHH!!"

"...If so, does that mean that you will go if I have tickets to the pre-opening?"

"Pre...pre-opening tickets? *coughs*, isn't that hard to get?"

"...Will you go?"

"Hm—of course, if you can get it, of course—"

"...Really?"

"Yes yes yes, that's right."

"I told you I won't already, didn't I? Do I look like someone who would break a promise?"

"—Please stamp your name on this marriage certificate."

"I'll keep that promise, even at the cost of my own life."

In order to decide what the cla.s.s will do during this school festival, please answer the following question:

"What do you wish for now?"

Himeji Mizuki's answer:

"To create wonderful memories with my cla.s.smates."

Teacher's comment:

I see. Being a part of the guests' memories isn't a bad thing. Sensei will remember to include a photo alb.u.m of all these as standby.

Tsuchiya Kouta's Answer:

A-magazines Adult-oriented magazines

Teacher's comment:

So what's the point of you crossing that out?

Yos.h.i.+ Akihisa's Answer:

"Calories."

Teacher's comment:

Sensei feels that your life is in danger when you answered this.

The cherry-colored flowers are gradually disappearing from the streets, what replaces it is the season of germination.

Our Fumitzuki Gakuen is preparing for the first event of the new year – 'Cool Summer Festival'.

Some cla.s.ses are turning their cla.s.srooms into haunted houses, and some of them are preparing the utensils, setting up their yakisoba stalls. There are also cla.s.ses that are exhibiting the 'summoning system' that only this school has. In order to prepare for this school festival, cla.s.s time was extended, and every cla.s.s was full of energy.

And then, as for F cla.s.s—

"Bring it on! Yos.h.i.+!"

"Let's settle this, Sugawa-kun!"

"I want to send that weak ball of yours flying over the fence!"

We aren't preparing anything, just playing baseball in school.

"What did you say? Like I'm going to let that happen!"

I use my feet to adjust the mound, waiting for Yuuji, the catcher, to give the signal. As my bad friend, who was also hailed as a genius in the past, he can definitely give me instructions on how to beat Sugawa-kun easily.

"The next ball—"

Here it comes, Yuuji's signal. The first ball indicates the type of ball to be thrown. Then, what kind of ball?

"Curveball, target..."

Hmmm. The next one's a curveball, the location is—

"The batter's head."

"ISN'T THAT A FOUL?"

Even though it's impossible to get a homerun off that, isn't there something wrong with it?

Just as I intend to not throw the ball that Yuuji signaled—

"OI, YOU GUYS! WHAT ARE YOU DOING INSTEAD OF PREPARING FOR THE SCHOOL FESTIVAL?!!"

"ARGH! IT'S IRONMAN!!"

Our homeroom teacher, Nis.h.i.+mura-sensei (a.k.a. Ironman), rushes in with a raging and imposing manner. If we're caught, we'll be beaten up really terribly by the refined fist of that guy! Got to get away!

"YOs.h.i.+!! ARE YOU BEHIND ALL THIS?!!"

"IT'S, IT'S NOT ME! WHY ARE YOU SINGLING ME OUT ALL THE TIME?!!"

Though I have used up all my energy to run, I can't shake the enemy. As expected of the man who focuses on P.E and is interested in triathlons—OI! This isn't the time to be impressed!!

"IT'S YUUJI! CLa.s.s REP YUUJI SUGGESTED THAT WE PLAY BASEBALL!!"

The one who suggested using the prep time to play baseball was Yuuji, so he should be the one responsible for this.

Thinking this, I turn towards Yuuji, and that guy is using his eyes to tell me, "A forkball between Ironman's legs."

"THAT'S NOT RIGHT! I DIDN'T ASK FOR THE TYPE OF PITCH!! ALSO, WOULDN'T THAT MAKE ME THE SOLE TARGET OF HIS WRATH?!!"

Come to think about it, what's the point of throwing a breaking ball?

"Everyone get back to cla.s.s! We're the only cla.s.s which doesn't know what to do at this point!!"

Ironman's terrifying roar sends us scurrying back to the broken and dirty cla.s.sroom.

"Then, it's about time to decide what we want to do for this spring festival—'cool summer festival'."

After the baseball match was interrupted, F cla.s.s representative Yuuji makes this announcement as he overlooks us, who are sitting on the mats.

"Anyway, we'll have to nominate someone to be the committee member. I'll let the nominated person settle all this."

Yuuji, just because he's uninterested, is he planning to push the responsibility to someone else and take a nap? While we were preparing just now, he was the one who suggested that we play baseball. This is so completely different from the att.i.tude he showed during the summoning battle.

"Yos.h.i.+-kun, Sakamoto-kun doesn't seem to like school festivals, does he?"

My cla.s.smate, Himeji Mizuki-san asks in a soft voice that won't disturb any meeting at all. Her beautiful smile and large b.r.e.a.s.t.s dazzle me.

'I never asked directly before, so I'm not sure, but it seems like he's not pa.s.sionate about it. If he's interested, Yuuji would immediately take action."

"I see...that's too bad..."

Himeji-san, who would normally reveal a cheerful expression, looks rather gloomy.

"Is Yos.h.i.+-kun also uninterested?"

Himeji-san's face closes in on me, her eyes looking up. So, so cute...

"Erm--how should I say it? I don't really want anything."

This is my honest opinion. Though I'm glad that there are less lessons now, I don't have a clear goal on what to do during the school festival.

"I...I want to create memories of the school festival with Yos.h.i.+-kun."

"Eh?"

That meaningful sentence made me sound like a fool.

"Then, Yos.h.i.+-kun, do you know...? It's said that there would be lucky couples formed during the school festival-- *Cough cough cough*!"

Before she finished speaking, Himeji suddenly covered her mouth with her hand, coughing. Her face is slightly red, does she have a cold?

"Are you alright?"

"Yes, yes, I'm sorry..."

She looks a bit uncomfortable, her eyes are still teary. Come to think of it, Himeji-san seems to be coughing quite a lot recently.

Right now, our equipment has been demoted from the lousy tatami mat to just straw mats and cardboard boxes. Compared to normal tables and chairs, using these things to study is not only tiring, but unhygienic. For Himeji-san, whose body is very weak, it's not strange for her to fall sick so easily. No, it's to be expected, actually.

If we don't do something...

A hygienic environment, and facilities that don't strain the human body much. If we don't prepare these two things, I feel that Himeji-san will faint one day. There's two months to the next summoning battle, but if we can raise our cla.s.s rank earlier...

"Then, s.h.i.+mada-san will be our school festival committee member, is that okay?"

Yuuji's words enter my mind subconsciously. At this moment, we're still discussing the festival.

"Eh? You want me to do it? Hn—But I have to take part in the summoning tournament, it might not be too convenient."

The person who suddenly rolled her eyes in surprise is s.h.i.+mada Minami-san, who had been staying in Germany since she was young, before she returned to j.a.pan with her parents. In terms of looks, well, she has scary eyes and a ponytail.

"Yuuji, if it's a committee member, I do feel that Himeji-san would be better suited than Minami."

"Eh? Me?"

Now that her name has entered the conversation, Himeji-san looks a bit puzzled. Compared to a fierce Minami, I feel that there wouldn't be many arguments if gentle Himeji-san was involved.

"Himeji probably won't be able to do it, since by the time she finished listening to everyone's comments, time would be up."

Our cla.s.s representative says lazily.

Now that he mentioned it, Yuuji is right. Himeji-san would definitely be unable to give up on some decisions. Normally, this gentleness would be a plus, but at this moment, it'll become a critical disadvantage.

"Also, Aki. Mizuki has to take part in the summoning battle as well."

"Eh? Is that it?"

"Yes, I intend to take part in the tournament together with Minami."

Himeji-san clenches her small fists tightly.

"It's supposed to just be a school publicizing event, both of you really like to get involved."

In our Fumitzuki Gakuen, there is a 'test summoning system' that the whole world is watching. And this year, it seems like they wanted to hold a 'test summoning battle' during the 'cool summer festival' to showcase this highly antic.i.p.ated system to the world. However, I'm just not interested in this.

"It's Mizuki who invited me to this tournament. Because she wanted to changed her stubborn father's view and surprise him."

"Change her dad's view?"

"Hn, she said that her dad was grumbling about many things, so she said a lot of stuff to him angrily. Something like, 'I won't forgive you for treating F cla.s.s like idiots!'."

"Oh my, it's rare for Himeji-san to get worked up."

"Because otou-san[1] doesn't understand anything at all, to treat everyone like idiots just because I'm sent to F cla.s.s? I won't forgive this."

"..."

Sorry, even I, who understands everyone in the cla.s.s well, feel that F cla.s.s is an organization of idiots.

"So Himeji wants to form a F cla.s.s team, win the tournament, and surprise her dad."

I see, for Himeji-san, who's second in our year, if she's to team up with Minami, who can get rather decent marks if she can understand the question, it's not impossible for them to win the tournament.

"Can the three of you get back on topic?"

"Ah, sorry Yuuji. It's about letting Minami be the committee member, is it?"

"I already said that I'm taking part in the tournament."

"Then we'll just select an a.s.sistant committee member. Will that do?"

Yuuji glances at me. Don't tell me he's going to use me as a living sacrifice? But won't Minami accept this sort of troublesome work if there is help?

"Hm...that's right. If I can work together with the a.s.sistant committee member, I can do it..."

"Really? Then will everyone please nominate the subst.i.tute committee member? s.h.i.+mada, please select two people for the final vote."

Everyone okay? Yuuji asks the cla.s.s. At this moment, names start to pop up from everywhere in the cla.s.s.

"I feel that Yos.h.i.+ is suited for this."

"Wouldn't Sakamoto be more suited for this?"

"I want to get married with Himeji-san."

"Think we can just let Sugawa handle this."

Maybe it's time to get rid of these guys who are showing their pa.s.sion to Himeji-san.

"I do feel that Akihisa can do this."

The person who said these words is the beauty who always talks in an old fas.h.i.+oned way, Hideyos.h.i.+. Though he's really a guy.

"But Hideyos.h.i.+, I don't want to do such a troublesome thing—"

"About this, since everyone probably has the same opinion . why don't we choose a suitable person?"

"Uu...you're kinda right..."

Though I don't know whether I'm suited for this, as he's right, I can't refute it.

However, there isn't much difference. It doesn't mean that everything's settled once I'm nominated. Minami will have to choose two nominees, and once that is done, everyone has to decide.

"Nominee ①...Yos.h.i.+."

Ah, it's me.

"Nominee ②...Akihisa."

Ah, it's still me.

"Then now, can everyone please choose your nominee?"

"Oi, Yuuji, don't you feel that there is something obviously wrong with the way Minami chose them?"

"So how? Who do you think is better?"

"About this...both of them are rubbish, there isn't much difference."

"OI! Stop acting as if you're bothered! Also, those guys ridiculing your cla.s.smate as rubbish, you guys are rubbish among humans!"

Really, what's wrong with my cla.s.s' reasoning?

"Oi oi, Aki. Compared to this trivial stuff, since it's decided that I'm working with you, you have to come up here and settle what we are discussing."

"Why do I feel that I'm always getting the short straw..."

Being prompted by Minami, I got up lazily and walked to the front.

"Then I leave the rest to you, yawns—"

Yuuji replaces me and returns back to his seat. He doesn't even bother to suppress his yawning, revealing a lazy look.

"I'll lead this meeting. Aki, you'll write the ideas on the board."

"Un, got it."

Standing in front of the tattered blackboard, I pick up the chalk that can't be any shorter. Really, these facilities are in such bad conditions, is there even any way for us to study?

"Then now, please present your ideas. If you have any suggestions on what the cla.s.s should do, please raise your hands, okay?"

After Minami finished speaking, several cla.s.smates raised their hands. Seems like not everyone is uninterested in this.

"Tsuchiya."

"...(Getting up)."

The one being called out, standing up now, is one of my friends, Tsuchiya Kouta. Compared to his name, a nickname that he got for being perverted and silent—Muttsuriini , should be even more well known.

"...Photo Gallery."

"...Tsuchiya, I'm getting a dangerous vibe from your photo gallery idea."

Minami says this without hiding her expression of disgust.

From the viewpoint of a female, Muttsuriini's photos are rather disgusting. However, to the guys, that photo gallery could be said to be a mountain of gold. Maybe we can call it a peeping house.

"Nevermind, Aki, this can pa.s.s as a suggestion. Can you write it on the blackboard?"

"Got it."

Eh, Muttsuriini 's proposal is—

'Option ①: Photo gallery: 'Secret Peeping house.'

"Next, Yokomizo."

"A maid café—is what I want to say. I do feel that it's unoriginal, so how about a bride's café?"

"A bride's café? What's that?"

"Like an ordinary café, but the girls get to wear wedding gowns."

Actually, it's still a café, it's just that we're wearing different clothes. The atmosphere has to be similar to that of a wedding event, no? This might be interesting.

"That's definitely original."

"There are also many girls who want it."

"Isn't it hard to move in them?"

"It's going to be time consuming for us to prepare them."

"Won't the male customers hate it? Besides, a wedding is also called a human life's grave."

Such suggestions created a little commotion in cla.s.s.

"Haiz, Aki, write down that suggestion on the board as well."

"Ah, ngh."

Being prompted by Minami, I face the blackboard again.

'Option ②: Maid café 'a human life's grave.'

Really can't stand this chalk that's so hard to use. Seems like we really need some decent cla.s.sroom facilities.

"Then, are there anymore—Sugawa."

"I propose a Chinese café."

Sugawa said this as he stood up.

"A Chinese café? You're going to make the girls wear cheongsams[2]?"

"Nope, not that. I propose that our tea shop sell some authentic oolong tea or some simple tea. This isn't a business that uses s.e.xy clothing to earn money. To begin with, they said that the term 'food' came from China[3]. In terms of 'food' culture, none of them are as profound as Chinese cuisine. Even though in recent years, the rise of the European culture is forcing Chinese cuisine onto the brink of elimination, in terms of food—"

Wha, what? Though I'm not exactly sure what's going on, now that Sugawa-san is talking till his saliva is flying out, seems like he's rather knowledgeable about it, no? Maybe it's just that I don't have any idea of what's going on?

"Aki, can you write Sugawa's suggestion on the board?"

"Ah, un."

...This is terrible, what the heck did Sugawa-san say? I didn't listen to what he said at all because of all the complicated terms and because he was so long-winded. I don't even know what to write on the board.

"What now? Hurry up and write."

"Okay, okay, I got it."

Anyway, got to write what's left in my brain.

'Option ③: Chinese teahouse 'European culture'.'

After I finished writing, the cla.s.sroom door was pushed open with a 'clak clak' sound. What appeared is the face of a man whose thick muscles matches his face.

"Has everyone decided on what to do for the 'cool summer festival'?"

This is the homeroom teacher of F cla.s.s, the one who sent us running—Nis.h.i.+mura-sensei, also known as Ironman.

"We have three proposals, they are on the board."

Hearing Minami say this, Ironman slowly turns to look at the blackboard that is covered with my words.

'Option ①: Photo gallery: 'Secret Peeping house.'

'Option ②: Maid café 'a human life's grave.'

'Option ③: Chinese teahouse 'European culture'.'

"...Perhaps an increase in supplementary lessons will do you good."

Oh no! We're being treated as idiots!

"Sen, sensei, these aren't our ideas!"

"That's right! Yos.h.i.+ wrote them himself!"

"We're not idiots!"

The crowd starts to argue back, obviously not wanting to increase supplementary cla.s.s time. However, why do I feel like everyone intends to treat me like an idiot to avoid supplementary lessons...

"YOU IDIOTS! STOP USING SUCH LOUSY EXCUSES!"

Ironman's roar causes everyone to sit up straight.

However, no matter how terrible he is, he's still a teacher. To think that Ironman would be angry about them betraying their own cla.s.smate to avoid supplementary lessons, this made me think better of him. Well, slightly anyway.

"Sensei is saying that the fact that you chose Yos.h.i.+ is itself stupid."

If we were of the same age, this is where I'd tie him up.

"You guys, really...can't you guys be a little serious? Haven't you guys even thought about using the money you earned to upgrade your facilities, or something like that?"

Ironman sighs as he says this. Hearing this, everyone's eyes lit up.

"Oh yeah! To think that there's such an idea!"

"We don't have to wait till a summoning battle to improve our facilities!"

"I've had enough of these lousy facilities!"

The atmosphere in the cla.s.s intensifies. For us, who have waged summoning wars because we're unhappy with our facilities, we obviously can't stand having facilities that are worse than what we had originally.

"Eve...everyone, let's do our best!"

That's Himeji-san's voice. Looking back, she's standing up, clenching her fist in front of her chest, showing her enthusiasm.

What's going on? Though I didn't think that Himeji-san would be satisfied with these facilities, I do feel that her being so enthusiastic and proactive doesn't suit her nature.

"What kind of activity are we doing? Would a café be more profitable?"

"No, a photo gallery requires less money to start up, it'll be better."

"However, won't we be forced to shut down if the committee members catch us?"

The cla.s.s is becoming very active, all sorts of suggestions flying all over the place.

"We most probably won't get caught if we do a Chinese teahouse."

"But that lacks creativity. This old campus is so dirty; no one wants to come over. Won't we be punished by the lack of special features?"

"How about a bride's café?"

"The investment cost is too large, we probably won't be able to earn enough money during these two days."

Now the cla.s.s is getting noisy. Everyone is enthusiastic all right, but this isn't going to bring a definite conclusion.

"Okay, okay, can everyone remain quiet for a while?"

"I feel that a haunted house would be more popular."

"Let's have a simple casino."

"Let's sell grilled corn."

The suggestions are becoming more divided, this isn't good.

Are we such a disorganized cla.s.s? Why do I feel that it was much easier when we had our summoning battles...

"Sigh...I have enough of this. Geez, Aki, can we drag Sakamoto in? We can't have a conclusion if this keeps up."

Minami says to me silently.

As expected of F cla.s.s. Is it because everyone has a strong personality? I can't even feel a tinge of 'teamwork'. For Yuuji to lead this cla.s.s, it's truly a remarkable job. However—

"Hm...I don't think it's possible. It's scary how cold Yuuji's att.i.tude can be when he's not interested in something."

Yuuji isn't interested in the school festival or the teaching facilities. Though I do feel that he can integrate everyone's views if he leads everyone like during the summoning wars, Yuuji probably won't do it.

"I see...ENOUGH! JUST BE QUIET FOR NOW! SINCE YOU CAN'T DECIDE, JUST PICK ONE FROM THE CHOICES!"

Minami, who's now especially angry and irritated, ended the conversation forcefully. This is the correct decision.

Minami uses her eyes to prevent anyone from objecting, forcing everyone to vote. This is something not even Himeji-san or I can do. Seems like Yuuji didn't just pick anyone at random.

"Then, those who want the photo gallery!—Okay, the bride's café next! – last one, Chinese café!"

Minami's voice echoes throughout the hall. However, this doesn't seem to be able to control this noisy situation.

Among this noisiness, Minami starts to count the number of votes. The final result is—

Though there were very few votes, the Chinese teahouse won by only a few votes. I feel that this is a reasonable result.

"Then I'll prepare the green tea and snacks."

Sugawa-san says as he stands up.

"...(Standing up silently)"

Then, for some reason, Muttsuriini stood up as well.

"Muttsuriini , can you cook?"

"...This is a necessity of a gentleman."

Chinese cuisine is a gentleman's necessity—I've never heard of this before. Maybe he learnt it after going to Chinese restaurants to see the female attendants who are wearing cheongsams for such a long time. Muttsuriini's hands are nimble, and he learns extremely quickly, we should just leave it to him.

"Then we'll split the cla.s.s into kitchen and hall groups. Those who want to work in the kitchen, go to where Sugawa and Tsuchiya. Those who want to work in the hall, go to Aki!"

For some reason, I ended up being the person in charge of the hall.

"Then I'll go to the kitchen—"

"HIMEJI-SAN NO! IT'LL BE BAD IF YOU'RE NOT OUTSIDE!"

I immediately stopped Himeji-san, who looks like she really wanted to work in the kitchen. Now that we're betting on our facilities, we can't let the store close because everyone gets food poisoning!

"Akihisa, GOOD JOB!"

"...(Nodding head!)"

Hideyos.h.i.+ and Muttsuriini both understood this destructive power and quickly exchanged glances with me. The biggest victim, Yuuji, probably didn't notice as he's sleeping—that should be it, but looking closely, one can see that he's twitching slightly. Is he dreaming of Himeji-san's cooking as well?

"Eh? Yos.h.i.+-kun, why must I be in the hall?"

The person who's unaware of the lethality of her own cooking reveals a puzzled expression.

It's simple to say the truth, but it'll break her heart.

"Ah, eh—well, think about it, because Himeji-san's so cute, we'll be able to get customers if you stay outside—IT HURTS! MI, MINAMI! MY BACK IS NOT A SANDBAG!"

"You...you're saying that I'm cute...since Yos.h.i.+-kun said it, then I'll do my best outside then ☆"

If possible, I hope that you'll just do your best outside.

"Aki, then I'll help in the kitchen, okay?"

"Hm, I guess you're well suited for it."

"..."

"Then I guess I'll help out in the kitchen as well."

'Hideyos.h.i.+, what are you talking about. You're so cute, of course you have to be outside—GYYAAAHHH! MI, MINAMI-SAMA! IT'LL BREAK! MY SPINE! IT'S A VITAL BONE THAT'LL AFFECT MY LIFE!"

"...I'm going out to help."

"Well, well...I guess, this is good."

In this chaotic situation, the school festival that allows us to return back to normal life begins.