Wipe Clean After Eating Chapter 36

Company Outing (translated by Foodie)

Today I wake up very early and hurry to the office. Logically speaking, the general manager and I have established the basis of our relations.h.i.+p, and I could now be considered as having a powerful connection that can intimidate others. Being late to work occasionally is typically not a problem. But since last night, I seem to have been entranced.  I couldn’t help wanting dawn to arrive quickly, so I could hurry to the office to see the general manager. What is even more outrageous is that I have even used facial cleansing milk and applied lip gloss before I headed out to work. Unprecedented!  It is true that women who are in love are never normal. (From a woman’s point of view, one should say that you are finally starting to be a bit normal.)

It is still quite early when I first arrive at the office.  Few people are around when I look.  My mood is especially wonderful today.  Thus every one I lay my eyes on looks particularly lovely.  I greet every person I run into with a beaming smile.  As I walk around the corner, I b.u.mp into a person dressed in the cleaning staff uniform.  I smile as I had been earlier and say, “Hi, little Qian Qian!”

Lu Jun’s little brother does not spare my feelings.  His whole figure trembles a bit. He retreats a couple of steps and says, “How come I have a bad feeling, seeing you in your delighted state?”

I laugh with unparalleled tenderness and look at him amiably, “I’d like to tell you a piece of good news and a piece of great news.  Guess what they are?”

Little brother Lu leans his head to one side and gives it a serious thought, then he looks at me expectantly, “The good news is that you have been fired? And the great news is that you are planning on returning to Mars?”

I: “……”

Okay.  I’m feeling happy today, I won’t quibble with you, kid.  I adjust my emotion which nearly erupted just now.  I continue to maintain my warm, congenial smile, “Let me tell you, the good news is that I’m in love.  The great news is that the object of my affection is your brother!”.

Little brother Lu is surprised for a moment, then shakes his head and sighs, “No wonder my right eyelid has been twitching incessantly today.  So it portends the ill luck that is entering our family.”

He lifts the water bucket and mop. He sighs as he turns around and heads towards the restroom.  I stand, feeling depressed.  Could it be really that terrifying for little brother Lu, to have me as part of his family?  (Not terrifying. It’s sad. Regrettable.)

After a brief moment of melancholy, my joyful mood quickly returns. I walk towards the office while humming a ditty.  Proceeding with my usual task of organizing files and cleaning the office. I used to find it tedious and boring, but today I find it enjoyable.  The vision of the serious face that he puts on while he works emerges in my head.  I am reminded of his quiet, handsome and charming face.

I think I am truly possessed by demon.  I keep myself very busy.  My eyes keep wandering off, watching the main entrance of the office involuntarily.  I wait expectantly for big boss Lu to walk in, in his usual leisurely elegant manner.

What will this scene look like?

Based on the numerous office-drama TV series I have watched in the past, it should be as follows.

Lu Jun’s imposing figure enters. He raises his hand and slowly puts his suit jacket on the side.  He loosens the top two b.u.t.tons of his s.h.i.+rt.  His smiling eyes look at me.  His slanted lips hint at his not-so-good intent. He walks towards the window and stands next to it.  Suddenly he lowers the curtain.  The office that was formerly bright and glaring turns soft and ambiguous.  He sits gently on the office chair next to the desk, and pulls my arm gently.  Suddenly with force, I fall on to his lap and embrace.

Afterwards, what scene follows then?

“General manager, please don’t.”

“Come on, baby.”

“Aiya, don’t la. It’s not good to be like this la.”

“It’s ok. Baby, I love you very much. Let me have a kiss.”

“Oh… ” [Could your line of thinking be a bit more normal?]

Right in the middle of my daydreaming and blus.h.i.+ng so red that it could cook an egg…  My eyes are nearly squinting when the door k.n.o.b finally turns.  I put down my cleaning cloth.  I have one hand propped on the office desk, one hand playing with my hair.  I try my best putting on an elegant air.  But alas, the person who walks in turns out to be a colleague who I detest bitterly.  The abominable Manager w.a.n.g!

“Eh, Secretary Xia.  How come you are still here?  I have been looking for you everywhere.”  Manager w.a.n.g sees my eyes light up, and strides towards me.

Seeing him, I tremble subconsciously and involuntarily take a step back, “Why are you looking for me?”

After this series of movements, I suddenly recall little brother Lu’s reaction when he saw me.  Isn’t that the same thing?  I suddenly understand what is behind his expression of utter disappointment.

If I were to tell others I would become part of manager w.a.n.g’s family, I suspect I would feel the instantaneous doom and gloom.

Manager w.a.n.g looks at me with dissatisfaction.  He frowns and urges.  “It is time to go.  Didn’t you see what time it is?”

I look at him confused. “Go? Go where?”

He glared.  “To our company event that is sponsored by the HR department.  It was announced a long time ago.  We will all go to the zoo to have fun.  Didn’t you know?  Oh.  That is right.  When the HR notice came out, you were still in Guilin.”

I am starting to recall now that Manager w.a.n.g said it.  I have heard of this company outing.  But that was weeks ago.  At the time, it had not been decided yet when and where it would be.  Unexpectedly it turns out to be the zoo.  Such lack of creativity!

I suddenly remember something, and ask quickly, “Is the general manager also going?”

Manager w.a.n.g stares at me blankly, “The general manager usually does not attend this sort of company-sponsored employee outing”.

After I hear this, I suddenly feel empty and my mood becomes a lot gloomier.  The first day after I confirmed my relations.h.i.+p with him, I’m not even able to see him.   Then all those scenes I daydreamed will not have a chance to materialize and flourish.  (== Under normal circ.u.mstances, even if you don’t go to the zoo, things will not develop as you had imagined! )

In the midst of my regret and distress, manager w.a.n.g suddenly grabs my arm and pulls me towards outside, “What are you still thinking about?  It’s getting late.  Let’s get going.”

“Wait a minute!” After a couple of steps, I suddenly think of something, “Why is it ‘us’?”

Manager w.a.n.g is a little impatient and says quickly, “The theme of this outing is ‘Eco-friendly green movement. Get close to fauna and nature.’ ”

Baffled, I ask, “What do you mean by eco-friendly green?”

Manager w.a.n.g says grudgingly, “That means everyone has to ride a bike to the zoo. But due to insufficient number of bicycles, we will have a team of 2 people in each group.  This way, the number works out.”

“This can’t be?!” I grab my head, I cry out sharply in unspeakable anguish, “Don’t tell me HR a.s.signed you and I as one team.”

Manager w.a.n.g nods solemnly, “That is right.”

He takes a long good look at me, “I completely understand you, because when HR’s department head announced that the two of us will be in the same group, I had the exact same reaction.”

I: “…..”

I walk out alongside manager w.a.n.g gloomily.  Something keeps puzzling me.  Although I know conversing with manager w.a.n.g can result in quite a shock, I am still too curious, so I ask, “Ah yes, Manager w.a.n.g.  There are so many employees in our firm. So how is it that you and I end up in one team?”

Manager w.a.n.g looks at me, looks up towards the sky, and recalls from his memory, “By then, you were the only remaining female employee who was still not a.s.signed to a team.  Meanwhile, there were still several male employees who had not yet been a.s.signed to a team, including myself.”

Under these circ.u.mstances, I should have been in a high demand position.  I ask impatiently, “What happened after that then?”

Manager w.a.n.g continues, “Then the head of HR told us to stand in a row.  Those who are willing to be on the same team with you should take one step forward.”

It dawns on me, “So you took a step forward?”

Manager w.a.n.g shakes his head, “I took a step back.”

I am confused, “That doesn’t make any sense.  Then why the two of us still end up in the same group?”

Manager w.a.n.g: “That is because everyone else took two steps back!”

I: “…..”      

Okay. I shouldn’t have asked.  I shouldn’t have spoken with Manager w.a.n.g.  I swear if my mouth still itch in the future, I will hit myself 100 times, 100 times.