Peter Simple Part 26

"Nothing at all in itself--the marine officer is a bit of a gaby, and takes offence where none is meant. Mr Phillott has a foul tongue, but he has a good heart."

"What a pity it is!"

"It is a pity, for he's a smart officer; but the fact is, Peter, that junior officers are too apt to copy their superiors, and that makes it very important that a young gentleman should sail with a captain who is a gentleman. Now, Phillott served the best of his time with Captain Ballover, who is notorious in the service for foul and abusive language.

What is the consequence?--that Phillott, and many others, who have served under him, have learnt his bad habit."

"I should think, O'Brien, that the very circ.u.mstance of having had your feelings so often wounded by such language when you were a junior officer, would make you doubly careful not to make use of it to others, when you had advanced in the service."

"Peter, that's just the _first_ feeling, which wears away after a time; but at last, your own sense of indignation becomes blunted, and becoming indifferent to it, you forget also that you wound the feelings of others, and carry the habit with you, to the great injury and disgrace of the service. But it's time to dress for dinner, so you'd better make yourself scarce, Peter, while I tidivate myself off a little, according to the rules and regulations of His Majesty's service, when you are asked to dine with the skipper."

We met at the captain's table, where we found, as usual, a great display of plate, but very little else, except the s.h.i.+p's allowance. We certainly had now been cruising some time, and there was some excuse for it; but still, few captains would have been so unprovided. "I'm afraid, gentlemen, you will not have a very grand dinner," observed the captain, as the steward removed the plated covers off the dishes; "but when on service we must rough it out how we can. Mr O'Brien, pea-soup? I recollect faring harder than this through one cruise, in a flush vessel.

We were thirteen weeks up to our knees in water, and living the whole time upon raw pork--not being able to light a fire during the cruise."

"Pray, Captain Kearney, may I ask where this happened?"

"To be sure. It was off Bermudas: we cruised for seven weeks before we could find the Islands, and began verily to think that the Bermudas were themselves on a cruise."

"I presume, sir, you were not sorry to have a fire to cook your provisions when you came to an anchor?" said O'Brien.

"I beg your pardon," replied Captain Kearney; "we had become so accustomed to raw provisions and wet feet, that we could not eat our meals cooked, or help dipping our legs over the side, for a long while afterwards. I saw one of the boat keepers astern catch a large barracouta, and eat it alive--indeed, if I had not given the strictest orders, and flogged half-a-dozen of them, I doubt whether they would not have eaten their victuals raw to this day. The force of habit is tremendous."

"It is, indeed," observed Mr Phillott, dryly, and winking to us-- referring to the captain's incredible stories.

"It is, indeed," repeated O'Brien; "we see the ditch in our neighbour's eye, and cannot observe the log of wood in our own;" and O'Brien winked at me, referring to Phillott's habit of bad language.

"I once knew a married man," observed the captain, "who had been always accustomed to go to sleep with his hand upon his wife's head, and would not allow her to wear a night-cap in consequence. Well, she caught cold and died, and he never could sleep at night until he took a clothes brush to bed with him, and laid his hand upon that, which answered the purpose--such was the force of habit."

"I once saw a dead body galvanised," observed Mr Phillott: "it was the body of a man who had taken a great deal of snuff during his lifetime, and, as soon as the battery was applied to his spine, the body very gently raised its arm, and put its fingers to its nose, as if it were taking a pinch."

"You saw that yourself, Mr Phillott?" observed the captain, looking the first lieutenant earnestly in the face.

"Yes, sir," replied Mr Phillott, coolly.

"Have you told that story often?"

"Very often, sir."

"Because I know that some people, by constantly telling a story, at last believe it to be true; not that I refer to you, Mr Phillott, but still I should recommend you not to tell that story where you are not well known, or people may doubt your credibility."

"I make it a rule to believe everything myself," observed Mr Phillott, "out of politeness; and I expect the same courtesy from others."

"Then, upon my soul! when you tell that story, you trespa.s.s very much upon our good manners. Talking of courtesy, you might meet a friend of mine, who has been a courtier all his life; he cannot help bowing. I have seen him bow to his horse, and thank him after he had dismounted-- beg pardon of a puppy for treading on his tail; and one day, when he fell over a sc.r.a.per, he took off his hat, and made it a thousand apologies for his inattention."

"Force of habit again," said O'Brien.

"Exactly so. Mr Simple, will you take a slice of this pork; and perhaps you'll do me the honour to take a gla.s.s of wine? Lord Privilege would not much admire your dinner to-day, would he, Mr Simple?"

"As a variety he might, sir, but not for a continuance."

"Very truly said. Variety is charming. The negroes here get so tired of salt fish and occra broth, that they eat dirt by way of a relish.

Mr O'Brien, how remarkably well you played that sonata of Pleydel's this morning."

"I am happy that I did not annoy you, Captain Kearney, at all events,"

replied O'Brien.

"On the contrary, I am very partial to good music. My mother was a great performer. I recollect once, she was performing a piece on the piano, in which she had to imitate a _thunder storm_. So admirably did she hit it off, that when we went to tea, all the cream was _turned sour_, as well as three casks of _beer_ in the cellar."

At this a.s.sertion Mr Phillott could contain himself no longer; he burst out into a loud laugh, and having a gla.s.s of wine to his lips, spattered it all over the table, and over me, who unfortunately was opposite to him.

"I really beg pardon, Captain Kearney, but the idea of such an expensive talent was too amusing. Will you permit me to ask you a question?--As there could not have been thunder without lightning, were any people killed at the same time by the electric fluid of the piano?"

"No, sir," replied Captain Kearney, very angrily; "but her performance electrified us, which was something like it. Perhaps, Mr Phillott, as you lost your last gla.s.s of wine, you will allow me to take another with you?"

"With great pleasure," replied the first lieutenant, who perceived that he had gone far enough.

"Well, gentlemen," said the captain, "we shall soon be in the land of plenty. I shall cruise a fortnight more, and then join the admiral at Jamaica. We must make out our despatch relative to the cutting out of the _Sylvia_" (that was the name of the privateer brig), "and I am happy to say that I shall feel it my duty to make honourable mention of all the party present. Steward, coffee."

The first lieutenant, O'Brien, and I, bowed to this flattering avowal on the part of the captain; as for myself, I felt delighted. The idea of my name being mentioned in the Gazette, and the pleasure that it would give to my father and mother, mantled the blood in my cheeks till I was as red as a turkey-c.o.c.k.

"_Cousin_ Simple," said the captain, good-naturedly, "you have no occasion to blush; your conduct deserves it; and you are indebted to Mr Phillott for having made me acquainted with your gallantry."

Coffee was soon over, and I was glad to leave the cabin and be alone, that I might compose my perturbed mind. I felt too happy. I did not however, say a word to my messmates, as it might have created feelings of envy or ill-will. O'Brien gave me a caution not to do so, when I met him afterwards, so that I was very glad that I had been so circ.u.mspect.

CHAPTER THIRTY FIVE.

SWINBURNE CONTINUES HIS NARRATIVE OF THE BATTLE OFF CAPE ST. VINCENT.

The second night after this, we had the middle watch, and I claimed Swinburne's promise that he would spin his yarn, relative to the battle of St. Vincent. "Well, Mr Simple, so I will; but I require a little priming, or I shall never go off."

"Will you have your gla.s.s of grog before or after?"

"Before, by all means, if you please, sir. Run down and get it, and I'll heave the log for you in the meantime, when we shall have a good hour without interruption, for the sea-breeze will be steady, and we are under easy sail." I brought up a stiff gla.s.s of grog, which Swinburne tossed off, and as he finished it, sighed deeply as if in sorrow that there was no more. Having stowed away the tumbler in one of the cap stern holes for the present, we sat down upon a coil of ropes under the weather bulwarks, and Swinburne, replacing his quid of tobacco, commenced as follows:--

"Well, Mr Simple, as I told you before, old Jervis started with all his fleet for Cape St. Vincent. We lost one of our fleet--and a three-decker, too--the _St. George_; she took the ground, and was obliged to go back to Lisbon; but we soon afterwards were joined by five sail of the line, sent out from England, so that we mustered fifteen sail in all. We had like to lose another of our mess, for d'ye see, the old _Culloden_ and _Colossus_ fell foul of each other, and the _Culloden_ had the worst on it, but Troubridge, who commanded her, was not a man to shy his work, and ax to go in to refit, when there was a chance of meeting the enemy--so he patched her up somehow or another, and reported himself ready for action the very next day. Ready for action he always was, that's sure enough, but whether his s.h.i.+p was in a fit state to go into action, is quite another thing. But as the sailors used to say in joking, he was a _true bridge_, and you might trust to him; which meant as much as to say, that he knew how to take his s.h.i.+p into action, and how to fight her when he was fairly in it. I think it was the next day that c.o.c.kburn joined us in the _Minerve_, and he brought Nelson along with him, with the intelligence that the Dons had chased him, and that the whole Spanish fleet was out in pursuit of us.

Well, Mr Simple, you may guess we were not a little happy in the _Captain_, when Nelson joined us, as we knew that if we fell in with the Spaniards, our s.h.i.+p would cut a figure--and so she did, sure enough.

That was on the morning of the 13th, and old Jervis made the signal to prepare for action, and keep close order, which means, to have your flying jib-boom in at the starn windows of the s.h.i.+p ahead of you; and we did keep close order, for a man might have walked right round from one s.h.i.+p to the other, either lee or weather line of the fleet. I shan't forget that night, Mr Simple, as long as I live and breathe. Every now and then we heard the signal guns of the Spanish fleet booming at a distance to windward of us, and you may guess how our hearts leaped at the sound, and how we watched with all our ears for the next gun that was fired, trying to make out their bearings and distance, as we a.s.sembled in little knots upon the booms and weather gangway. It was my middle watch, and I was signalman at the time, so of course I had no time to take a caulk if I was inclined. When my watch was over, I could not go down to my hammock, so I kept the morning watch too, as did most of the men on board: as for Nelson, he walked the deck the whole night, quite in a fever. At daylight it was thick and hazy weather, and we could not make them out; but about five bells, the old _Culloden_, who, if she had broke her nose, had not lost the use of her eyes, made the signal for a part of the Spanish fleet in sight. Old Jervis repeated the signal to prepare for action, but he might have saved the wear and tear of the bunting, for we were all ready, bulkheads down, screens up, guns shotted, tackles rove, yards slung, powder filled, shot on deck, and fire out--and what's more, Mr Simple, I'll be d.a.m.ned if we wer'n't all willing too. About six bells in the forenoon, the fog and haze all cleared away at once, just like the rising of the foresail, that they lower down at the Portsmouth Theatre, and discovered the whole of the Spanish fleet. I counted them all. 'How many, Swinburne?' cries Nelson. 'Twenty-six sail, sir,' answered I. Nelson walked the quarterdeck backwards and forwards, rubbing his hands, and laughing to himself, and then he called for his gla.s.s, and went to the gangway with Captain Miller. 'Swinburne, keep a good look upon the admiral,' says he. 'Ay, ay, sir,' says I. Now, you see, Mr Simple, twenty-six sail against fifteen were great odds upon paper; but we didn't think so, because we know'd the difference between the two fleets. There was our fifteen sail of the line all in apple-pie order, packed up as close as dominoes, and every man on board of them longing to come to the scratch; while there was their twenty-six, all _somehow nohow_, two lines here, and _no line_ there, with a great gap of water in the middle of them.

For this gap between their s.h.i.+ps we all steered, with all the sail we could carry, because, d'ye see, Mr Simple, by getting them on both sides of us, we had the advantage of fighting both broadsides, which is just as easy as fighting one, and makes shorter work of it. Just as it struck seven bells, Troubridge opened the ball, _setting_ to half-a-dozen of the Spaniards, and making them _reel_ 'Tom Collins,'

whether or no. Bang-bang-bang, bang! Oh, Mr Simple, it's a beautiful sight, to see the first guns fired, that are to bring on a general action. 'He's the luckiest dog, that Troubridge,' said Nelson, stamping with impatience. Our s.h.i.+ps were soon hard at it, hammer and tongs, (my eyes, how they did pelt it in!) and old Sir John, in the _Victory_, smashed the cabin windows of the Spanish admiral, with such a h.e.l.l of a raking broadside, that the fellow bore up as if the devil kicked him.

Lord-a-mercy! you might have drove a Portsmouth waggon into his starn-- the broadside of the _Victory_ had made room enough. However, they were soon all smothered up in smoke, and we could not make out how things were going on--but we made a pretty good guess. Well, Mr Simple, as they say at the play, that was act the first, scene the first; and now we had to make our appearance, and I'll leave you to judge, after I've told my tale, whether the old _Captain_ wasn't princ.i.p.al performer, and _top sawyer_ over them all. But stop a moment, I'll just look at the binnacle, for that young topman's nodding at the wheel.--I say, Mr Smith, are you shutting your eyes to keep them warm, and letting the s.h.i.+p run half a point out of her course? take care I don't send for another helmsman that's all, and give the reason why. You'll make a wry face upon six-water grog, to-morrow, at seven bells. d.a.m.n your eyes, keep them open--can't you?"

Swinburne, after this genteel admonition to the man at the wheel, reseated himself and continued his narrative.

"All this while, Mr Simple, we in the _Captain_ had not fired a gun; but were ranging up as fast as we could to where the enemy lay in a heap. There were plenty to pick and choose from; and Nelson looked out sharp for a big one, as little boys do when they have to choose an apple: and, by the piper that played before Moses! it was a big one that he ordered the master to put him alongside of. She was a four-decker, called the _Santissima Trinidad_. We had to pa.s.s some whoppers, which would have satisfied any reasonable man; for there was the _San Josef_, and _Salvador del Mondo_, and _San Nicolas_; but nothing would suit Nelson but this four-decked s.h.i.+p; so we crossed the hawse of about six of them, and as soon as we were abreast of her, and at the word 'Fire!'

every gun went off at once, slap into her, and the old _Captain_ reeled at the discharge as if she was drunk. I wish you'd only seen how we pitched it into this _Holy Trinity_; she was _holy_ enough before we had done with her, riddled like a sieve, several of her ports knocked into one, and every scupper of her running blood and water. Not but what she stood to it as bold as bra.s.s, and gave us nearly gun for gun, and made a very pretty general average in our s.h.i.+p's company. Many of the old captains went to kingdom come in that business, and many more were obliged to bear up for Greenwich Hospital.

"'Fire away, my lads--steady aim!' cries Nelson. 'Jump down there, Mr Thomas; pa.s.s the word to reduce the cartridges, the shot go clean through her. Double shot the guns there, fore and aft.'