Cold Sands Chapter 11

XI Concupiscence

My world flips upside down. I fall off the horse and smash into the ground. The cloud of sand and dust that I knock up makes it even harder for me to open my eyes. Hooves whip past me, creating a blast of wind. 

“Kill!” I hear someone roaring beside me. 

Bellowing shouts and wild neighs become jumbled together along with the clashes of swords and spears, sounding especially loud in the peaceful night. 

Something weighs down on me out of nowhere and pushes the arrowheads fractions deeper. Pain shoots through me. I groan and open my eyes. I buckle around, trying to dislodge it. 

I raise my head only to see the faint shapes of horse hooves brus.h.i.+ng past me. 

So heavy. 

Who is it? 

Who? 

My vision goes black. Blood rushes into my mouth. I try to hold it in but it sprays out. 

The deadly blades give rise to a violent storm. Screams and whinnies echo in the whistling wind. 

My vision blurs in and out. I can’t quite think anymore. I’m just in so much pain from the weight on me. My backside is slick and slippery; I think my body and my arms are all dyed scarlet. 

It’s as if I fell into a sea of fire. Red everywhere, as far as the eye can see. Shock-like pain runs through me if I move the slightest. My left shoulder and back. Pain. Agony. 

Time seems to stop. Frozen in place. 
 

♚♔ 

Cool liquid drips into my mouth. I regain some consciousness but my eyes won’t budge. Only a bit of sensation has come back. What’s underneath me seems to be soft and comfortable blankets. I breathe out gently and relax. But suddenly my limbs are constricted. I jerk in alarm but I’m stuck no matter how much I struggle. 

Someone is quietly talking to me now. I don’t know what they’re saying. I only feel the torturous spasms going down my back and through my body as the arrowhead burrows into my flesh as if to pull my insides out. 

“Ow…” I manage to get a word out. 

That person is still mumbling something. I run out of energy so I let him hold tightly onto my wrist. My mind starts to wander. Then suddenly I sense a sweltering heat near me. The next moment I feel it pressing into my injury. The burning knife digs into me and the heat quickly spreads to the rest of my body. It tears apart the hardened scabs. Pain. Searing pain. I can’t make a single sound. The pain makes me want to thrash around but I’ve been restrained. 

I don’t know how much time has pa.s.sed when the heat leaves my back. I pant for air. The arrowheads appear to have been taken out and someone is applying medicine followed by wounding layer after layer of bandage on me. I moan from the pain. I’m sticky all over with sweat. 

My mind starts up again but I have no energy left for my body. I can’t get my eyes to open for my life. I try to sleep but I’m burning and in so much pain that I can’t. 

So I lie here, half-asleep, half-awake. And the whole time I feel as if someone is here beside me. Concerned eyes. Warm hands. Bitter herbs. Soothing whispers. 
 

♚♔ 

When I finally wake up, I can get my eyes open. What’s before me are drapes and flickering candlelight. It’s nice and quiet. The smell of herbs lingers in the air. 

Whew! Another close call. I’m beyond hardy! Not even the devil wants me my company. 

I feel like laughing but the movement tugs on my wounds. I hiss out and bare my teeth in pain. 

I sigh. Han Xin, when will your luck change for the better? 

It takes a lot of effort to roll onto my side when I hear voices outside the door. 

“Why won’t you let me in?” 

“Enough! Do you not think you have done enough already?” 

Then silence. I can only smell the thick herbal scent in the air. I try to lift the drapes up to see what’s going on but I have no strength at all. 

I think I hear ‘stomp, stomp, stomp’, and someone saying, “I don’t care. I’m going in!” 

“Do you really think you can do as you please simply because I have tolerated you over and over again?” 

Then I catch a girl’s soft sobs. “But…but….” 

“I have already dispatched a letter for your father to send someone to accompany you back immediately!” 

The sobbing dies down. Soon it’s quiet again and stays that way. 

I sigh lightly. Is Murong Yu upset again? 

Quiet footsteps slowly approach and stop. I peer out of the corner of my eye only to see a tall, towering silhouette on the drapes. The figure remains motionless, as if observing me through the drapes. After some time, a hand is raised, as if he wants to touch the drapes. 

I frown. What’s wrong with this guy? Just spit it out. What’s the worst? One count of kidnapping the d.u.c.h.ess and one count of attempted escape is all. 

He sighs and turns away. 

“Murong Yu,” I call him but I realise how light and raspy my voice is. 

I doubt he had heard me because the silhouette starts heading towards the door. Frustrated, I take a deep breath, ignoring my wounds. 

“Murong Yu!” 

He stops and looks at me. “You-you’re awake?” 

I had used up all my energy calling him and the pain from my back makes my breath stop short. I watch as he strides forth and throws the drapes to the side. I frown from the sudden brightness only to look into Murong Yu’s black eyes. The more I do the more they seem to darken as if they’re going to suck me in. 

Our eyes stay connected. 

He sits down on the ta’s edge and carefully helps me up while watching me intently. “Feeling better?” 

I nod. I can feel his body heat through my clothes. Very soon, my back starts aching from only sitting for a bit. I consider some options before going ahead and leaning on his shoulder. 

How nice. Human cus.h.i.+ons are the best. 

His body tenses and he moves in closer. Watching me from the corner of his eye, his gaze meets mine. 

“You’re finally awake after all these days.” Then he puts an arm around me. “Does this feel all right?” 

I nod again and let my eyelids fall a bit. I don’t want to speak. Mind you, speaking takes a lot of effort. 

His eyes don’t leave me and he starts caressing my face. 

I turn my head and request unhurriedly, “Water.” 

The next moment, a bowl of water appears in front of me. He lifts it up to my mouth and watches as I drink. I feel his warm hand on my back as I do. 

I don’t know why but I think I like this. 

“Hey, do you know who those people were?” I ask. 

He doesn’t reply, instead he puts down the bowl. His hand tightens on my shoulder. “You really want to know?” 

I nod. He takes something out from his breast pocket and shows it to me. My eyes go wide and I gasp. 

It’s a silver steel arrowhead that flashes dangerously under the candlelight and seems to draw you towards it. I can faintly make out the character ‘Heng’ on it. 

I turn my head away to get it out of my sight. 

Marshal Heng is a fierce and ambitious man. He has waged many wars and killed even more, always relentless as long as his goal gets accomplished. His motto is to be proud and frank with oneself even in the face of death. Countless had submitted out of fear in the presence of the flags with his name. I had only blurted his name out without much thought. I didn’t think it would really be him. 

I breathe out deeply, nearly forgetting about the wounds. I grimace at the pain. I wiggle into his arms and stay there, too lazy to move anymore. 

The candlelight dances, making his silhouette appear brighter one moment and darker the next. His eyes are a little bloodshot and his face pale—a bit thinner too—as if he hasn’t gotten good rest for some time. 

“Don’t think about it. What’s important is getting better. You have been out for almost ten days.” Murong Yu is regarding me with a frown as though he’s distressed. 

Wow, another illusion from being wounded too critically. 

I carelessly grunt in reply and tuck the blankets tighter, ready to take a nice long nap, when he says. 

“Han Xin, I just don’t get it.” He touches my face and stops by my lips. “You had the chance to leave. Why did you not take it?” 

I look up at him, eyes wide. I can’t decipher the look in his eyes. 

“She said she got drunk and you were bringing her back. Could it be that you couldn’t bear to part with the silly girl?” 

Any drowsiness I felt is instantly washed away. My mind spins while I observe his inquisitive expression. My back starts hurting again. 

“Sorry,” I cough from discomfort. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.” 

I speak calmly but deep down I’m actually surprised. He has easily exposed my thoughts. He comes closer again. I rush to escape but he grabs my wrist. 

“You might have fooled her but you can’t fool me.” His unrelenting gaze travels over my face, anger seems to be brewing from within. “You don’t like her arrogance and overbearing ways yet you let her order you around and keep her company. Isn’t it all just so you can get her pa.s.s to leave camp?” 

I shudder. His smouldering eyes seem to burn into me. For a second there, I actually felt a bit discomposed from having my plans exposed but I quickly turn away. 

“I don’t want to argue. You won’t believe what I say anyway.” 

He pauses before he hisses through clenched teeth. “Do you not know how dangerous it is right now? Yet you walked right out of there. She might not be mature enough to think things through but you didn’t have to drop to her level too!” 

“What are you, a preacher? Go tell her this yourself! She’s the d.u.c.h.ess—your fiancée. Not mine!” 

I cover my mouth as soon as I finish—am I out of my mind? Saying stuff like that! 

All that movement makes my wounds ache even more. I slouch and pant for air, holding onto his shoulders for support. 

He hurriedly gives me a hand. “I’m not here for this. I was just asking. You didn’t stop her even though you were well aware of the dangers as well as my orders so I can’t help but suspect that you had other intentions.” 

My mouth hangs wide from shock. I did have intentions to escape but I didn’t think it would be that obvious to him. 

But he smiles contently, holding my wrist tight. “I’m right, aren’t I? You left the camp with her so you can find a chance to escape. Am I right, Han Xin?” 

Frustrated, I try to jerk my hand away but he pulls it back. Pain shoots through my back so I can only stay still. 

“She said that she was the one who dragged you along, that it’s all her fault. It’s actually the first time I’ve seen that brat pleading on behalf of someone.” 

He keeps his eyes on me. I can’t tell whether he’s smiling or not and that unnerves me. I take a moment to regain my composure and try to distance myself from him as much as possible. 

I tilt my head away and say, “Doesn’t matter whether you believe it or not. What had happened happened. Punish me however you’d like.” 

Hearing my words, he nudges my head back to face him and studies me with those enigmatic eyes of his. I can feel his searing heat as he draws near. 

“Tell me, Han Xin. Should I be rewarding you or punis.h.i.+ng you?” 

My breath stops short. I get lost in his eyes and actually forget to reply. He starts ma.s.saging my back with his other hand, making circles around my wounds, carefully and with the right pressure. It’s tingly and itchy. I clench my jaw and glare while he smiles and closes in until his lips are right against my earlobes. I shudder and try to edge away but he clutches onto me. 

“You wanna leave? That’s so naive of you. You shouldn’t forget about your circ.u.mstances right now.” 

I swat his hand away. I’m enraged but I put on a kind smile. “You shouldn’t forget to thank me, Murong Yu. You wouldn’t be sitting here all worry-free if anything happened to that girl.” 

He freezes, his hand stops rubbing. 

I curl my lips. “The debts I owe you have been more than repaid now. I’m of no more use to you, so…let me go. If you’re man enough.” 

His lingering gaze is no longer sharp but looks rather dejected. After some brooding, he looks at me and brushes some hair on my forehead. Annoyed, I turn away but he grabs my chin. 

“In your dreams.” 

His lips are on mine before I know it and his body soon follows suit. His icy-cold lips keep planting fire-hot kisses. I stare threateningly at him and struggle against his constraining arms. He remains unfazed and uses the momentum to push me back onto the pillow. Stinging pain shoots through my back, making me gasp. He lowers himself until he’s only inches away from me. I can feel his warm breaths on my face. 

“Talking with you always drives me up the wall. I say we do something else with you instead.” 

I’m so mad I can’t see straight. I rip my right hand out and swing it at his face. I wouldn’t resort to this unless necessary—it’s too effeminate. He dodges it and pushes my hand down. I hear a chuckle and then his lips are on me again. 

My bandages have already come undone during the scuffle and warm, sticky blood is flowing down along my spine. The intense pain prevents me from moving further. All my strength has gone. My body tenses up from the pain but I don’t have the power to stop him so I can only watch as he does what he pleases with his lips and tongue. 

I give up. I don’t want to die just yet. Plus, it’s not like I have anything to lose from him messing around. 

He lets go of my lips, perhaps because he noticed my tightly-knit brows and lack of resistance, and looks me up and down. I’m covered with sweat as I glower at him. He gasps and rips my blankets off. He reaches down my back. Pain runs up my back and I yelp out. His hand is dripping with blood—bright, red blood. 

Only when he has felt the warm fluid does he scramble up frantically. 

I press on the wound to lessen the bleeding and hiss weakly, “Is this…your punishment?” 

His face pales and he flies out the door without a moment’s hesitation. His voice actually shakes when he calls for the doctor. 

I bury my face in the pillow while waiting for the doctor. My teeth grind together in annoyance. 

You think you can just do what you please because I can’t move around? I must’ve walked under a ladder—no, a dozen ladders—without knowing. I mean, I get captured, fine, okay, I’ve got nothing to say. But what did I do to come across such a ridiculous guy? 

I drink my medicine and start feeling drowsy. He doesn’t leave, however, and stays by the ta. 

Xiao Qinyun comes to mind. I bet that night’s experiences left a mark on her. I wonder if she got hurt. So I ask Murong Yu. His brows furrow as he recounts all that happened that night. 

Marshal Heng’s men had arrived soon after we had left but they were cautious because they were not sure about our numbers. They stayed hidden until sunset before raiding the camp. All five hundred elites were caught off guard and killed in action. Marshal Heng’s subordinates couldn’t find Xiao Qinyun so they hid nearby in ambush until I discovered them. 

A scout rode on horseback and reported this to Murong Yu. He immediately sent soldiers back to aid me. His men found us halfway, me and Xiao Qinyun barely hanging on with several dozen cavalries hot on our tracks. A b.l.o.o.d.y battle ensued and both parties suffered high losses. After Marshal Heng’s men finally retreated, Xiao Qinyun and I who had already lost consciousness were brought here. 

The arrows were in too deep. After much contemplating, the doctor resolved to using a heated blade to cut open the flesh and taking out the arrowheads that way. 

His eyes never leave me while he’s telling me this. 

“She’s fine though.” He sighs. “Just some light abrasions.” 

I’m thoroughly wiped after I take everything in. I drop back down on the sheets and let him tuck me in. 

“She said you took her and broke through their ranks. Killed quite a few people as well.” He continues casually, “Such martial prowess. Why hide it?” 

Oh please! Anyone would try out every trick up their sleeves if they were being hunted down. Who’d actually want to meet the Grim Reaper? 

But I restrain my thought and mumble, “Just some party tricks I know.” 

“Party tricks?” He scoffs. “I say you’ve been hiding it on purpose.” 

I close my eyes, not wanting to argue. Han Xin the playboy, Han Xin the useless dandy—I almost take this as a fact myself. It doesn’t matter if one more person believes it. 

The doctor’s a.s.sistant comes in with the topical medicine. 

“Give it here,” Murong Yu orders. 

My eyes are out on stalks. He is frowning in concentration as he removes layer after layer of bandage. I eye him tentatively as anger brews in his eyes after seeing my injury. Wary of his state, I hold back my comments and let him apply the medicine and freshen the dressing. He’s well-versed but he is a man after all—too rough with his hands. 

“Say, can’t you be any gentler?” 

“Say, can’t you stop squirming around?!” He retorts. 

“How can I when you’re so rough…. Gentler!” 

“Oh, now you’re complaining? Why didn’t you think about this before you signed up to be a knight in s.h.i.+ning armour?” 

“It’s not like I wanted to! I didn’t want anything to happen to her…’cause you’d be in s.h.i.+t too…gentler I said!” 

He stops, his gaze burning into me. “What d’you just say? Say it again.” His voice is low and husky.

I do a double take and look back at him. He’s sitting still, watching me, as if waiting for something. 

He finally puts the medicine down after a long pause, his eyes seemingly going out of focus for a moment. “Is that really what you thought?” 

A chill goes down my back. 

c.r.a.p. Really shouldn’t have said that… 

I quickly go back to lying on the bed, acting as if I’m in too much pain to speak. He bends down and puts an arm around me, making sure not to disturb my injuries. I can feel his body heat—it seems to be burning hot. 

“Um….” I swallow nervously. “I’m sleepy….” 

His lips open as if to say something but in the end he only plants a soft kiss on my forehead. 

Along with a barely audible sigh, he says: 

“Sleep tight.” 
 

♚♔ 

Murong Yu is most certainly an unpredictable person. 

I brood angrily when I’m finally allowed to get out of bed and walk around. 

I’ve gotten better even though I’ve been injured and recovered numerous times recently. I don’t even know why it’s been one misfortune after another. 

Whatever, I comfort myself, it’s got to be uphill from here on out. It’s just that the hill is still some distances away. 

I’ve been lying here under the warm sun for quite some time. I start feeling drowsy and I let my eyelids droop down halfway. I’m about to enjoy some free time with me, myself and I when I catch the sound of shuffling fabric from behind. 

“Come on out. Must be tiring standing there.” 

Xiao Qinyun has jumped into my arms before I know it, eyes swollen and pink. 

Apparently, Murong Yu had been extremely mad at her about what had happened, not only reprimanding her but also sending a letter to her father in the capital to come collect her. She had only talked back to him a little before he snapped and outright denied her of even the liberty to visit me, stopping her at the door. 

Wow. Why can’t this guy be more courteous to her? Hasn’t her father always been of great help to him in the Yan imperial court? 

I wipe her tears and get her to sit down. “Now, don’t shed your tears so easily. You look like a kid when you do.” 

“Brother! Not you too!” She shoots me a dirty look. “I’m mad enough that my sweetie Yu says that.” 

“Well, they say good medicine is always bitter and truthful words are always grating. I tell you, I’m not one to lie.” 

She pouts and looks down sadly. “I know I’m kind of out-of-control and I might not follow the rules. I’m not well-mannered and sensible like the other girls. And I know Yu doesn’t like that, but…” 

“But you just can’t help it.” I peer at her before turning my eyes to what’s before me. 

The autumn gust sweeps through the September skies. All the leaves have fallen but you can still faintly feel a bit of the warmth of summer. The house I’m in has a simple layout consisting of a cloister with galleries like any other house but there seems to be a sense of grandeur. Only after some keen observation do you see some shadows of bureaucracy. The cloister is gently lit by the sunlight pa.s.sing through the remaining branches. A soft breeze caresses my face, a bit cool to the touch. 

“They say the girls over there are all gentle, lovely and incomparably beautiful. Say, do all you men like that kind of woman?” 

I tilt my head and raise an eyebrow. She looks on intently, waiting for my reply. 

Do we? 

The capital city of Rui. I think I’ve forgotten most of it. 

I only remember the many entertainments enjoyed by the elites. Every August, there would be the Moon and Chrysanthemum Festival. The pa.s.sionate maidens and the affectionate lads would use this festival as a chance to meet, share secret words and rendezvous. 

Gardens and yards would be full of chrysanthemums of various colours, going well with the thin, lightweight silk robes that the daughters of the upper cla.s.s adorned. The ladies’ trains and sleeves flowed and danced in the wind as they walked. They were refined and poised like angels of the heavens. 

Hearing my recollections, Xiao Qinyun regards me with a longing look. 

Feeling a bit evil, I start teasing her. “Of course no man wants to have a bossy girl shouting and hollering at him all day long.” I let my eyes close. “Gentle and affectionate like water, sweet and adorable—now, no man would be able to resist that.” 

She peeks at me but stays quiet. 

“If I had a fiancée,” I continue, “who bossed me around and had a fiery temper, I’d be the first to avoid her.” 

“Then what do I do?” Hiccup. “My darling said my father’s people are on their way already.” Sniff. “I had to beg the Empress Dowager for so long just so I could come here.” 

I quickly comfort her, fearing her tears. “Come now, what did I just say about looking like a kid?” 

She starts crying and I run out of ideas. 

“What should I do then…?” She sobs. 

Well, what could an outsider like me do? Plus, I do not want anything at all to do with that b.a.s.t.a.r.d for now. My face gets red when I think of the things recently. 

Changing my dressing: he has to do it personally. 

Drinking medicine: it always ends up being a clash of lips and tongues. 

Not to mention, a couple of the times I had almost gotten… 

Brrrr. A huge chill runs down my spine. 

Wait a second…. All these strange behaviours of his…I can’t help but relate them to indecent thoughts. Could it be that he’s frustrated…s.e.xually? And has no way of releasing it? 

I eye Xiao Qinyun’s pretty face, wet with tears, and an idea comes to mind. 

It’s just not a very decent one. 

I wipe her tears and put on an honest face and a harmless smile. “Lemme ask you something. Don’t be shy, you can just answer quietly.” 

She looks puzzled but nods anyway. 

I lean in close to her ears and whisper, “Have you…with him?” 

She jerks back, wide-eyed. Her cheeks soon flush red. I nod, looking dead serious. Her face is almost dripping with embarra.s.sment. 

With her head lowered, she finally gets two words out. “I…haven’t.” 

See? I was right. Army men aren’t allowed to bring their women along while on duty. It’s only expected that he’s in need for some release after such a long time out at war. 

I think of the disgusting, vile, immoral things some of my colleagues in the Golden Guardians used to do… Erm. Sorry, off-topic. 

I sneer as I lower down to her ears again and instruct her on the specific details of such-and-such. She gnaws on her lips, looks up, face flushed, and slaps me. 

“Ouch!” I yelp and bend over in pain. “My dear d.u.c.h.ess, you’re the one who asked for my help! You had better treat me better—there won’t be anyone to help you if I die. 

Her face contorts into a mult.i.tude of shapes at my comment. 

I ma.s.sage my back as I bear the pain and straighten up. “Fine, don’t take my advice. Not my problem anyway.” 

She stops and stares me down. 

I nod in rea.s.surance. “Once it’s all done, I’m sure he’ll take responsibility.” 

She holds my gaze for a long time before whispering: “Is it doable?” 

I can’t express how delighted I am this instant. Only after I instruct her further on the specific details of such-and-such once again does she nod tentatively. 

Mwahaha. Now no one will be bothering my naps. 

Just you wait, Murong Yu, for your delicious meal. 
 

♚♔ 

I’m strolling around the yard after dinner. The evening wind blows in from outside, dispersing the warmth from the afternoon. It blows into my robes and gives me the chills. 

I turn on the spot. Murong Yu’s standing, hands behind his back, at the end of the gallery. Instead of armour, he has on a blue tight-sleeved robe that makes him seem all the more sharp and handsome. 

Seeing him approaching, I check the sky. 

Wait a minute. Why is he here at this time? Something’s not right. 

“What are you doing here this late?” He asks while frowning, unamused. “It gets chilly at night. You’ll catch a cold.” 

I really don’t want to be near him so I quietly take a step back. “I shall return to my quarters at once. Thank you for the concern, your highness.” 

The next thing I know he’s got me by my wrist. I don’t bother resisting for the sake of my injuries and let him pull me to his room. 

Candles are burning bright beside a heap of scrolls on his desk. There’s also a stone pot sitting on it. I glance at it without much thought and plop down on a chair. He takes a seat across from me and flips over the tea cups. 

“Well, you look like you’re fully recovered.” 

“Hmm,” I respond. “With your highness giving me an endless supply of medicine and my previous martial training, I’m bound to recover quickly.” 

He mumbles an inaudible reply and falls silent. 

What’s wrong? 

Curious, I glance up only to meet with his gaze filled with concern and worry as if he actually does care. Feeling uneasy, I gulp down the tea in front of me. 

This should be the time when he’s…with Xiao Qinyun right? 

It’s cozy in the room and with the hot tea in my stomach I feel warm all over. 

“Don’t just drink tea.” He grins. “It doesn’t have any nutrients. Here, have some soup.” 

He takes off the pot’s lid and a puff of steam hits my face. He hands a bowl and chopsticks to me. I hold the bowl of soup up and take a big whiff. 

Smells wonderful. 

He smiles. “It’s ginseng chicken soup.” 

I peer cautiously into the bowl of soup and then back at him. “Why do I get soup out of nowhere?” 

He shrugs and holds my gaze. “I can’t thank you enough for saving the d.u.c.h.ess. Soup’s the least I can offer.” 

That makes sense. I suppose. I study his eyes and he looks back steadily. Although it is an acceptable reason, I still put the bowl down and demand, 

“I’ll drink it only if you do first.” 

He frowns; I look back, unfazed. After a staring contest, he backs down. I watch him get another bowl and drink it himself before gulping mine down. I close my eyes in a moment of bliss as I feel warmth slowly spreading from my lips to the rest of my body, completely driving away the cold of the night. I’ve had better soup in my days but it smells so good. We reach the bottom of the pot in no time. 

The sky is getting darker and darker. Murong Yu is showing no signs of fatigue and continues our conversation but somehow I sense that something is off. 

There’s something burning inside me, so hot that I can’t stand sitting any further. I try to get up but my body is kind of limp and I have to steady myself with the table. He quickly helps me up and one of his arms hooks around my waist. But I can’t afford to bother with him anymore. 

Hot. 

So hot. 

Too hot. 

I feel my face heating up and beads of sweat starting to form. I lose focus for a moment and my feet seem to miss a step. I fall straight into his arms. I look up—he’s not much better than me. Face flushed and ears red, his breathing is hard and rushed. His grip on my waist gets stronger. 

What’s going on? 

My mind’s not functioning at normal speed. My hands wander to his shoulders and I lean on his chest. 

What is this? He’s definitely just as warm as me, the antonym of cool. But why do I find myself wanting to get closer? 

“Why is it so hot?” He asks me, taking quick breaths. His eyes are lazy and half-closed, a faint hint of l.u.s.t floating to their surface. “Why does your body feel so cold? I…” 

I shudder as a warm current runs up my body and seeps through my skin. His hands sear my skin as they ma.s.sage my limp and weak body. Being touched like this isn’t all too bad. 

How is this… 

His breathing hastens and his eyes become clouded. 

“I…I…” He stutters as he reaches for my collar and undoes it. He puts his hands on my chest and the sudden chill knocks some sense into me. 

Something is definitely wrong. 

I thrash around, trying to break free but he suddenly closes in and bites onto my neck while his hands start going all over my body. Pieces of clothing fall onto the floor one by one. My body temperature rises even higher. I think I feel desire rising up from within. 

Well, duh. I’ve been abstinent for a while as well. There’s no way I could help it. 

He pulls me in closer. I can’t see through my misty eyes. I only feel the hot air on my ears. 

“I…I want you!”