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The day after returning home from the women-only New Year's sleepover party at Sachiko-sama's house was the fourth of January.
It seemed kind of sudden, since we'd ticked over into the New Year, but on reflection it had only been about a week away when Rei-chan had said, "The fourth or fifth." A trick of the calendar.
As for Rei-chan, she had neither forgotten about nor been blindsided by the agreed upon day, and she'd even received permission from her father to use the dojo during the day.
Feeling nervous, I peeked into the dojo about half an hour before their 2pm meeting time and Rei-chan was already there.
Already dressed in her kendo clothes (sans armor), she was kneeling, eyes closed. Like she was meditating or focusing her mind. The air in the dojo was bitingly cold, the wooden floorboards shone a deep black, and a fresh-cut sprig of the sakaki tree had been offered up at the household shrine.
I sat down next to Rei-chan, still dressed in my sweater and skirt. I thought about whether or not I should have worn my kendo clothes.
First of all, just what was my position?
Referee? Witness? Announcer? Onlooker?
Nana had said she wanted a bout with Rei-chan. There was no mention of me. But still, what if I showed up in my kendo clothes? Like we were having some kind of group training?
I didn't want to be left out, but that said I didn't want to stick to them like glue either. So, I wanted to come across as though I'd just come to take a look at their bout.
"Yos.h.i.+no."
Rei-chan opened her eyes and spoke.
"You must not interfere, in words or deed."
"Huh?"
"If you can't promise me that, you'll have to leave the dojo."
"But, I."
Wasn't I bringing Nana along? Well, we aren't yet soeurs, so I suppose Rei-chan doesn't need my permission to cross blades with Nana. But, but, hadn't I introduced Nana as someone I was interested in? Didn't I arrange today's bout -
"I don't really know what you had in mind when you introduced me to Nana-chan. But if we are to cross blades, then this is a kendo match."
A kendo match.
"But."
One was a middle-school student and the other a high-school student. Was it okay to have such a ma.s.sive difference? - But more than this, what I wanted to do was pin down my own conspicuously neglected feelings that led me to want to blurt this out.
Rei-chan reiterated:
"The s.h.i.+nai is a sword."
Long ago, people who set themselves upon the path of the sword did so literally, not with bamboo s.h.i.+nai, using real swords to test their skill. Losing was death. Therefore, third-parties could not interfere.
"Alright."
I didn't need Rei-chan to tell me that the sword fraternity was strict. It wasn't like I'd read all those swordsman novels just for show.
"I'll just watch. So I can stay, right?"
I asked for confirmation and Rei-chan gave me permission with a, "Yeah."
Taking advantage of this opportunity, I said, "Okay then," and stood up.
"I'll go and get Nana."
I'd sent Nana a map showing the route we usually took home from school, but since they were in the same business she probably had access to more detailed information (like a map showing how to get from the Arima dojo to the Hasekura dojo, or a photo of the street frontage) so I wasn't really worried about her getting lost.
But, for no reason in particular.
It might have been hard to stay with Rei-chan, her "game face" already on, just the two of us waiting in silence in that huge dojo for the appointed time when Nana would arrive.
I love Rei-chan.
But, more than love, occasionally I get scared.
Scared of what?
For the moment, I was scared of the unknown.
I met Nana about a third of the way from our house to school along the normal route.
"Gokigenyou, Yos.h.i.+no-sama."
After greeting me, Nana put the rough map I'd faxed her into her coat pocket.
"Gokigenyou. That's quite a bag you've got."
Little wonder. She'd have a full set of kendo clothes, armor and s.h.i.+nai.
It may have been obvious, but Nana was wearing regular clothes. Since she had to use normal public transport to get here, wearing her kendo gear was out of the question.
Daughter of the Arima dojo, youngest of the four Tanaka sisters. I know we'd talked about it, but seeing her with that bag made me realize again that she really had come here for kendo. She'd been at the inter-school kendo tournament, and both my uncle and kendo aficionado grandfather in Yanaka knew of her, but I'd never actually seen her holding a s.h.i.+nai.
We walked together and not long after Nana asked:
"What happened there?"
"There? &h.e.l.lip; Ah."
She was pointing at the gap between my miniskirt and knee-high socks, where some skin was exposed. Overall the skin was whitish, but there were patches of purple or black, like a spotted cat. She was probably asking about what caused them.
"Ah, I had a bit of a fall."
The remains of my end-of-year bike training. Even so, most of them had faded so skirts were no longer forbidden, but that Nana sure had sharp eyes.
"Yos.h.i.+no-sama."
"What?"
"You sure fall down a lot."
"&h.e.l.lip; Well, excuse me."
I was a bit annoyed. I didn't fall down often enough that you'd point it out.
It seemed like Nana had been nearby when I fell down all those times recently. Despite how I looked now, I never used to fall down in the past. Because I'd always walked slowly, to take care of my heart. Naturally, running was completely unthinkable.
(Is that it?)
Since I've got better, I've stopped paying attention to walking and running. As a result, I've been falling down.
"Nana."
"Yes?"
"Why did you want to have a match with Rei-chan?"
I asked. I wanted to know what her goal was.
"Why indeed?"
She responded with a smile and a small gesture of confusion.
"Are you dodging the question? Is it something you can't speak about?"
"Does it look like that?"
"I don't know, that's why I asked."
I was a little annoyed. Just a little. And only annoyed, really. But sensing that, Nana made a follow-up remark.
"I'm sorry. Did my choice of words offend you? But even I don't know. So no matter how you ask me, I can't give you an answer."
"You don't know?"
"Yeah. I just thought I wanted to have a bout with her so I said it. I'm not yet able to a.n.a.lyze why I wanted the match."
By saying "not yet" it implied that there would come a day when she would be able to perform that a.n.a.lysis. Either that, or perhaps she expected to get that answer today, the instant she crossed blades with Rei-chan.
"Are you strong, Nana?"
I asked. I didn't know what her skill level was. Since she wanted to have a match against Rei-chan, the only reasonable conclusion was that she was comparatively talented.
"No."
Nana answered immediately. It didn't seem like she was being humble. It was as though she was just stating a plain fact. Like answering the question "1+1" with "2." So even if the truth was that she was crazy strong, at least she didn't think of herself that way.
"But you're ranked, right?"
"No, I don't have a rank."
"Really?"
"Yeah. Is that so strange?"
"What do you mean?"
"Do you have a rank, Yos.h.i.+no-sama?"
"No, I don't, but."
But that was because I was a newbie, who'd only been practicing kendo for less than a year.
"But you're a daughter of the Arima dojo."
"When I was born, I was a daughter of an office worker."
"But your grandfather's the head of a dojo."
"And your uncle's the head of a dojo."
The uncle she referred to was, obviously, Rei-chan's father and he was unquestionably the head of the Hasekura dojo.
"My older sisters, all of them, have ranks. To each their own."
To each their own - but they all did the same thing.
I'd only seen the second and third Tanaka sisters at the inter-school tournament and, regardless of the match outcomes, they were both unquestionably skilled. The oldest sister, who'd partic.i.p.ated the year before, was a rank above Rei-chan, so the Tanaka family was a strong group. It didn't seem like Nana, the fourth daughter and the only one to be taken in by her dojo leading grandfather, would be weak.
To each their own. Rank was certainly a measure of skill, but there would be people out there that were skilled and unranked, so it wasn't a complete measure.
"Come in."
I opened the dojo entrance gate and motioned Nana in.
For the Hasekura residence, this would be considered the back gate, but for the dojo the front. They both went to the same place so it didn't really matter but since Nana hadn't come to visit Rei-chan's house it seemed only proper to use the dojo entrance. But it did make it seem kind of like a showdown.
"Rei-chan."
I called inside, informing her of her visitor's arrival.
"Welcome."
Before long Rei-chan appeared and greeted Nana with a smile. Making it hard to believe the tense atmosphere that had been there earlier.
"Gokigenyou, Rosa Foetida. Thank-you for granting my request today."
"Not at all, I've been looking forward to it too. Come in."
Nana responded with, "Okay," and took off her shoes and stepped over the threshold. Rei-chan watched this for a little while before gently informing me:
"Yos.h.i.+no. Show Nana-chan to the changing room. Then when you're done, wait in the dojo."
"And you?"
I asked, to see where Rei-chan was going. Because if Nana was going to wait in the dojo, it meant that Rei-chan was going somewhere else in the meantime.
"I'm going back to my room to get something I forgot."
"What did you forget?"
"I'm counting on you."
She left me with that then walked off quickly, so even though I was curious I couldn't ask her anything more. If I'd been by myself I would have stubbornly stuck to her asking questions, but since she left me with Nana I couldn't do that. I thought maybe she needed to use the toilet, but in that case there was no need to say it was for something she forgot, or to explicitly mention her room. Besides, she didn't have to go back to the main house for that, there was a toilet in the dojo building.
"You can change clothes in here. Put your belongings in one of the lockers. You can use whichever one you want."
"Well then."
Nana opened locker number seven.[1] A lucky number, huh?
"I'll be in the hall."
Nana set about getting changed, taking her coat off, so I reached for the door. We were both girls but it probably wouldn't be okay to watch her get changed.
"I don't mind. But."
"But?"
I turned around without thinking, right as Nana was taking off her sweater.
"You're not getting changed, Yos.h.i.+no-sama?"
"Me?"
It was a bit late to be asking this now. Hadn't Nana said she wanted a match with Rei-chan? She hadn't been thinking of me in the slightest when she'd said this.
"I've been told that I can't interfere in words or deed."
In this matter, I would be "hands-off." Therefore I wouldn't be changing into my kendo clothes, nor would I be holding a s.h.i.+nai.
"Did Rei-sama tell you that?"
"Yes."
After nodding my head, this time I left Nana behind and went out into the hallway.
"Is that so?"
As I went to close the door, I faintly heard Nana say this, as though she was talking to herself.
Rei-chan had still not returned by the time Nana had changed and entered the dojo.
Nana properly faced the front and bowed before stepping into the dojo, then she did a slow 360 degree turn to take it all in.
"It's not quite as impressive as your family's dojo, though &h.e.l.lip; "
Previously, I'd wanted to know more about Nana, so I'd investigated the Arima dojo. That's how I knew. The Arima dojo was a large one - not only was it physically bigger than the Hasekura dojo, they also had far more pupils.
But Nana responded with a serious look on her face.
"It's a fine dojo. Really good. The spirit of martial arts is here."
Hearing this praise for my uncle's dojo I was a bit pleased, like she was praising me. The spirit of martial arts, that sounds good. For me, Rei-chan's house was like half of my house. I've always thought that the dojo had a good feel to it despite its small size.
Nana put her armor and s.h.i.+nai in a corner of the room and started stretching.
"Do you want me to help you?"
Usually when we warmed up at kendo club, we did so in groups of two. For whatever reason, be it school year or kendo proficiency or height, I often ended up with Tanuma Chisato but -
"It's fine."
Nana completely, definitively refused. Then she completed her stretches and was starting on practice swings when Rei-chan finally returned.
"Sorry for keeping you waiting. Ah, keep going."
Nana stopped her swings when she noticed Rei-chan, and Rei-chan indicated that she should proceed.
My eyes followed Rei-chan to where she was doing her own practice swings, a short distance away from Nana.
By comparing the current Rei-chan to the one that had left to go back to her house, I could find out what had been added, and that would be the forgotten item.
Indeed, Rei-chan was holding the forgotten item. But it was incomprehensible.
It was a single s.h.i.+nai.
It wasn't unusual that she'd appear at the dojo carrying a s.h.i.+nai. In fact it was the opposite, entirely ordinary.
What I couldn't comprehend wasn't that the s.h.i.+nai was the item. It was the fact that Rei-chan had two s.h.i.+nai.
The s.h.i.+nai that Rei-chan usually used was in a corner of the dojo, alongside her armor, and had been there since before I went to get Nana. So why had she needed another one?
I had no idea. But Rei-chan had gone all the way back to her room to get it. That alone was certain.
Currently, Rei-chan was swinging top to bottom. With the "forgotten" s.h.i.+nai.
But for some reason something seemed slightly off. Probably because she was using something other than her regular s.h.i.+nai. Well, I'm not talking about some minor difference or characteristic - I'm not that knowledgeable about s.h.i.+nai.
"Rei-sama."
Nana said, stopping her practice swings.
"I'm terribly sorry for prying, but - "
"About my s.h.i.+nai?"
Rei-chan asked, stopping her swings. Nana nodded, "Yes." Annoyingly, it looked like Nana was going to be the first to clear up what I found "incomprehensible."
"Don't worry about it, Nana-chan. I want the terms to be completely even, but that's impossible. This is the least I can do."
The terms to be completely even? With that, I suddenly realized.
The s.h.i.+nai Rei-chan was holding was shorter than her usual one.
That was probably why it seemed slightly off. Because the balance between her height and s.h.i.+nai length were different to normal.
Then my gaze s.h.i.+fted to Nana's s.h.i.+nai. As I thought, it was also a short s.h.i.+nai.
(Ah, so that's it.)
Nana was still in middle-school, so she used a short s.h.i.+nai. But Rei-chan was in high-school, and above average height, so she used a slightly longer s.h.i.+nai. Rei-chan must have realized that when Nana was shown in. Then she'd quickly returned to her room, got the s.h.i.+nai she used to use, inspected it, got it ready and brought it over.
There wasn't that much difference between an adult and child s.h.i.+nai. Probably about three centimetres. But Rei-chan had decided that those three centimetres were not fair. It was impossible to make everything completely equal - for instance their age, or height and weight, or that this was the dojo that Rei-chan had grown up in.
Rei-chan practiced her strikes over and over again in order to get a feel for the s.h.i.+nai she hadn't used for quite some time. After running through all the fundamental moves, she at last seemed satisfied and came to a halt, then turned to face Nana. Nana seemed to have run through all her moves too, as she lowered her s.h.i.+nai and looked straight at Rei-chan.
"Now then, what should we do?"
Rei-chan asked Nana. Inquiring if she'd be satisfied with them just sparring with each other, or if she wanted to make it as close to a tournament bout as possible.
"If it's possible, I'd like to do peer sparring."
"Peer sparring?"
Hearing Nana's request, Rei-chan made an, "Oh?" expression.
"I know it's presumptuous of me. Please."
Peer sparring was when two equally matched partners freely exchanged blows. The reason Nana thought it was presumptuous of her was probably because she was saying that she didn't need any handicap applied, even though she was unranked and facing a ranked opponent.
"Alright. Let's put on our armor then."
"Okay."
The negotiations were concluded. They both went to their corners, knelt down and started getting ready.
Wrapping a hand-towel around their heads, then putting on their armor. I sat equidistant between them and watched the events unfold.
I had a vague expectation that Nana had come to avenge her sisters, or to experience the true strength of the person who had defeated her sisters. As a result, she'd stipulate a bout - basically, she'd want to fight Rei-chan in a situation as similar to her sisters' as possible.
But that was wrong. Nana wasn't fixated on that.
What was this all about?
If I took a few steps I'd be close enough to ask Nana. But I didn't move. Because it looked like their match would soon begin. I was not permitted to speak or act.
At any rate, if she said she wanted as close to an official match as possible, then that itself would be problematic. First of all, there's no referee. It would have been a different story if my uncle was here, but unfortunately he was away from home today. I mean, if push came to shove, I'd have to do it. But, frankly, I thought that was impossible. Obviously as a referee I wouldn't even be approaching their level of skill, but even more than that, I didn't think I could make an impartial judgment between those two combatants. It wasn't a question of favoring one of them, but my heart was so agitated that I couldn't watch them properly.
While I was contemplating this, they had both finished putting on their chest armor and face guard. As a result, from my vantage point, I couldn't see their expressions.
After putting on her arm guard, Rei-chan glanced in my direction. Almost as though she was reminding me not to interfere.
"Please."
After the ritual standing bow and crouch, the peer sparring session. Rei-chan's familiar strong alto was overlaid with Nana's high-pitched voice.
Normally her voice wasn't that powerful and, if I had to say, it was like tasteless and odorless water. But with a s.h.i.+nai in hand, Nana's voice was intense. Like strawberry soda, or a melon float.
(Hehehe &h.e.l.lip; )
It was called sparring, but it was the same as a practice match. It may have been inconsiderate to be thinking about juice in the middle of all this, but I had to come up with these kind of diversions as it felt like I was being crushed by something.
The attack came from Nana. Moving directly forwards, aiming for Rei-chan's head. But Rei-chan calmly struck the middle of Nana's s.h.i.+nai, lifting it up. Despite being turned away so simply, Nana didn't learn her lesson and attacked again from the front. This time Rei-chan caught it from the left and then swiveled to the left and quickly struck back at Nana's head.
(A point!)
I felt like I could hear the referee's voice in my mind. My hands were still in my lap and I balled them tight into fists.
Rei-chan was far and away on top. The difference in skill was obvious even to me, who'd only just started practicing kendo recently.
Nana would have known this almost immediately. But she didn't let that first hit slow her down, as she attacked relentlessly.
Head, head, head -
From start to finish, Nana swung downwards, aiming for the head. Rei-chan responded to this by blocking and counterattacking, going for the chest, or evading and going for the head.
If this were a three-point match, it would have been decided as soon as two points were scored. But this was peer sparring. There was no time limit. Additionally, there was no faculty adviser or coach to tell them to stop, so the exchange of blows would continue until they decided they'd had enough.
As it went on, I found it harder and harder to watch. Why did the people I loved have to fight, even if it was martial arts?
Even though the outcome had already been determined. It was like Nana wasn't going to give up until she'd scored at least one point. Perhaps Rei-chan knew this as she met Nana's attacks.
But Nana had reached her limit. Her movements were getting duller. Her feet got tangled numerous times, putting her at risk of falling over.
Countless times I started to open my mouth to say, "That's enough." But I'd remember my promise to Rei-chan and desperately endure it. If I opened my mouth, I'd have to leave.
If I left, I might have felt more at ease as they finished their bout out of sight. But that was the one thing I wouldn't allow. I had to see this for myself.
It was like I'd fallen into the trap of thinking they were fighting over me.
"Ah."
Nana's body flew backwards from the impact of Rei-chan's thrust.
"Nana!"
I ran over to her in a daze. She was wearing her armor and knew how to handle that sort of situation, so she shouldn't be too badly injured by landing on her back. But I thought this was a sign from G.o.d that it was over.
Despite this.
"I'm fine. Let me go, please."
Nana brushed off my hand and stood up shakily.
"Rei-chan."
I pleaded to Rei-chan, who was still holding her s.h.i.+nai.
Stop, already. I know, already.
"Yos.h.i.+no. You promised."
Not to speak or act. But, but -
"Do you want to stop?"
Instead of ordering me out of the dojo, Rei-chan turned to Nana and asked her this.
"No."
Even though she was staggering, Nana raised her s.h.i.+nai.
"&h.e.l.lip; Nana."
My muttering had no place to go and was sucked up into the dojo ceiling. Nana didn't turn away. Rei-chan didn't say anything more.
Their heavy breathing from their furious exchange of blows affected their voices, so I couldn't get a read on their emotions.
It was only at times like this that I detested the kendo face guard. If only this were judo. Karate or aikido would be fine too. The only thing stopping me from understanding their current feelings were their face guards.
Right now, the only thing that Nana was looking at through the screen of her face guard was Rei-chan. And Rei-chan was only looking at Nana.
Even if I tried to intervene or call out, my words or actions would not reach them. Feeling like I was about to cry, I returned to my previous spot and sat down.
"Please."
Nana's voice signaled the resumption of the practice session.
I prayed, not to any G.o.d in particular. I didn't know what I wished for, but I couldn't do anything else, so for now all I could do was pray.
Was I imagining things? Even though Nana should barely be able to stand, she looked to be moving better than before she'd been knocked down.
Even though she'd taken a hit soon after they began, her blade was now locked with Rei-chan's.
Just then.
Nana took a big step backwards and raised her s.h.i.+nai high.
(Headshot &h.e.l.lip; !)
Rei-chan noticed it too. As a result, she moved quickly to avoid it.
The tip of Nana's s.h.i.+nai barely brushed Rei-chan's head. At that moment.
"Well done."
Rei-chan said.
"That's enough, don't you think?"
Rei-chan's voice was the signal, and they performed the ritual of crouching and tapping their s.h.i.+nai together. After taking a few steps backwards and bowing, Nana collapsed with a thud.
"Nana."
I ran over and held her in my arms. I looked at her face through the visor, and her eyes were wide open. She hadn't fainted. She was just so exhausted she couldn't stand up.
"I guess I can't compete with Hasekura Rei after all."
Nana said, so quietly that only I could hear, as she leaned against me like we were embracing.
"She's a great person."
Then she raised her body and removed her face guard.
"A great person &h.e.l.lip; "
I turned around to look at Rei-chan. She'd already taken her face guard off and was heading for the dojo exit.
"Rei-chan."
I called out to her. But Rei-chan kept walking away, not turning around.
I finally caught up to Rei-chan in the hallway. She was filling a cup with water from the tap near the dojo entrance.
Sweat running down her neck, her throat burning, Rei-chan gulped down the water.
"Take some to her too."
Rei-chan said, refilling the cup she'd used and handing it to me.
"More importantly."
I s.n.a.t.c.hed the cup from her.
"More importantly?"
Rei-chan asked.
"More importantly - "
What was I going to say?
An objection to the training session that was more like a hazing?
Or to ask what her true motives were to saying, "Well done," to a strike that would never have been judged a hit in an actual match?
Or maybe to compliment her, like, "Rei-chan you're really strong?"
While I was silent, Rei-chan spoke.
"Compared to her older sisters, her technique and strength are very much lacking. But of the four sisters, I like Nana's kendo the best."
"Rei-chan &h.e.l.lip; "
Rei-chan was smiling as she spoke.
Rei-chan liked her kendo the best. I was overjoyed to hear her praise Nana like this. I was proud, almost like she was complimenting me.
"More importantly."
Rei-chan said, looking straight at me as I soared with happiness.
"You were rooting for Nana-chan, Yos.h.i.+no."
Her face serious.
"Um &h.e.l.lip; "
At that moment, I couldn't think of how to smooth things over.
Smooth things over?
The moment I thought this was the same moment I accepted what Rei-chan was saying.
"Rei-cha - "
"It's fine."
Leaving me with that, Rei-chan walked off towards her house.
Left behind, I was frozen to the spot, still holding the cup of cold water.
Even though I'd been saying, "Don't let go."
Rei-chan had been supporting the bike with her hand, then she let go with such exquisite timing.
Nana is j.a.panese for 'seven'.